his substitute

A black commercial vehicle was speeding down the road, overtaking one after another, the man holding the steering wheel had a livid face, his lips were tightly pressed, and beads of sweat ooze from his forehead.

Xun Musheng had never been so flustered before, and he didn't understand why he was so flustered.

It's about being obsessed with ghosts, completely crazy.

Ten minutes ago, Ye Fenglin called and said that Chi Yu was being rescued in the city's first hospital.He didn't come back to his senses for a long time, his ears seemed to be filled with icy wind, and he couldn't hear what Ye Fenglin was saying.

Chi Yu stayed in the psychiatric clinic, why was he suddenly sent to a hospital for emergency treatment?That person usually doesn't even leave the ward, and always sits quietly by the bed, like a wooden man, neither harming others nor himself, why does he need rescue?

Suddenly, a thought, like a pair of bloody hands, grabbed his throat fiercely.For a moment, the chill rushed in from the soles of his feet, making him numb from the cold.

——Why can't Chi Yu hurt herself?Doesn't it mean that patients with mental disorders all have suicidal tendencies?

If Chi Yu really chose to commit suicide, then he must be the murderer.

Zhou Chenzhong's words seem to be in his ears: Chi Yu has you in his heart, can you help him?

He refused!

"Mu Sheng! Mu Sheng, are you listening?" Ye Fenglin shouted.

Xun Musheng suddenly came back to his senses, his hands and feet were cold, and his voice was hoarse: "He..."

"Calm down first, let Xiao Wang drive you over."

Xun Musheng swallowed hard, "What happened to him?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Ye Fenglin's gasping voice and hurried footsteps came from the phone, "Xu Cheng and I took him out to relax. When we passed a residential building, he saved a man who committed suicide by jumping off the building. girl."

Xun Musheng's pupils tightened, "What?"

This is too absurd and too dangerous!

He is very clear about the current state of Chi Yu's body - lack of exercise, relying on drugs to support him, his reaction and strength cannot be compared with the past, how can he save the person who jumped from the building!

Falling from a high altitude has a great momentum, and catching people with bare hands will either kill or injure, without exception!

Ye Fenglin sighed, and continued: "The girl jumped from the 6th floor. She was young, only in her teens, and she was quite thin. If the floor was higher, or she was an adult, Chi Yu would probably be... ..."

Xun Musheng was terrified when he heard that, and immediately ran towards the elevator.

"At that time, Xu Cheng and I didn't notice the abnormality, and the pedestrians on the road didn't look in that direction, so he rushed over suddenly." Ye Fenglin said: "The girl fell on his arm, and he fell down immediately. When we rushed over, both he and the girl were unconscious."

Xun Musheng gritted his teeth, his eyes turned black.

"It's because I didn't like him." Ye Fenglin finally said: "Come here quickly, I have already contacted the experts in Beijing. If we can't save him here, we will send him there immediately."

Xun Musheng's name was not Wang Ke, and his hands were shaking when he sat in the driver's seat.

He didn't want to do what Zhou Chenzhong said, and he didn't want to face Chi Yu face to face.He hasn't passed the hurdle in his heart yet, and he hasn't sorted out those chaotic love and hate.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about Chi Yu's life or death.

He cared more than anyone, cared so much that he was crazy.

He didn't dare to think about how many injuries Chi Yu had suffered.The next person who jumped down from the 6th floor, even if it was just a little girl, Chi Yu couldn't possibly be fine.

Light ranges from paralysis, and severe ranges from death.

Xun Musheng stepped on the accelerator, and in just a few minutes, the shirt he was wearing inside was soaked in cold sweat, fearing that he would get the worst news when he rushed to the hospital.

Outside the operating room, Xu Cheng sat on a plastic chair with his head in his hands, Zhou Chenzhong paced back and forth anxiously, and Ye Fenglin went somewhere.Xun Musheng arrived like a Rakshasa, standing in front of the closed door, his shoulders trembling violently.

Xu Cheng glanced at him, with guilt and resentment in his eyes, as if he wanted to scold "Get out", but he felt that he had no position.

Zhou Chenzhong came over and patted Xun Musheng on the shoulder twice, "Go and sit over there."

Xun Musheng didn't sit down, or even move.No matter how long the operation lasted, he stood in front of the door for as long as possible.No one knew what was going on in his mind, even he himself couldn't get rid of the thick fog that shrouded his mind.

He only knew that his legs were out of control, and he had to stand in front of the door before giving up.My eyes are also out of control, and if I don't look at the door, it hurts unbearably.

It was getting dark, Ye Fenglin stepped forward and grabbed his arm, persuading him: "Don't stand like this."

He was indifferent, only his Adam's apple moved slightly.

"Why did you save me!" In the pure white world, a girl in a beautiful dress sat on the ground crying, "Brother, why did you save me!"

"Why do you seek death?" Chi Yu also sat on the ground and asked gently.

"My life is a mess, classmates, relatives, no one wants to listen to me, no one cares about me." The girl said: "What's the point of living!"

"Alive..." Chi Yu thought for a while, "There are still many benefits."

"No benefit!"

"some."

"no!"

"Have."

Chi Yu is not good at persuading others, so after hesitating for a moment, he could only use himself as an example: "My life is worse than yours, but I am still alive."

The girl blinked, "Really? Tell me, what's wrong with your life."

Chi Yu couldn't speak, and shook her head lightly.

"Hmph!" the girl said, "Brother, you lied to me, you are so handsome and kind, how could your life be worse than mine!"

"Me? Kindness?" Chi Yu was a little puzzled.

"If you are not kind, will you come to save me?" The girl sighed, "I really don't want to live, but I don't want to hurt others. I have observed upstairs for a long time, and I am sure there is no one jumping below. I don't want anyone Injured for saving me. I didn't see you at all, where did you rush out from?"

Chi Yu was speechless.

"Look, you are very kind and powerful." The girl said, "You can live a good life, but I can't."

Chi Yu was silent for a long time, then said softly, "No, you can live a good life."

The girl got angry: "What do you know! You are not me!"

"Is there nothing more attractive to you than death?" Chi Yu asked.

The girl froze for a moment, seeming to be thinking.

"If there is, then no matter how bad life is," Chi Yu said with a firm tone, "you should survive."

The girl raised her head: "Brother, what do you think is more attractive than death?"

Chi Yu didn't answer, but stared blankly at the distance shrouded in white mist.

In the early morning, the door of the operating room opened and a hospital bed was pushed out.

Xun Musheng ran up immediately, but his throat was so dry that he couldn't make any syllables.

"The operation was successful." The doctor said, "Both of his hands and arms were broken, and the spinous process of the thoracic spine was slightly injured..."

Xun Musheng's eyes turned cold, afraid that the doctor would say something like "paralyzed".

"Fortunately, when catching the person who fell from the building, he had a self-protection action, so the spine did not suffer irreversible damage." The doctor continued: "Don't worry, as long as you cooperate with follow-up treatment, you will get better."

Xun Musheng closed his eyes, took two steps back, put his hand on his forehead, almost fell down.

Ye Fenglin and Xu Cheng were also relieved, Zhou Chenzhong asked when they could visit, the doctor said not for the time being, and explained that the patient had injured his muscles and bones and needed professional nurses to take care of him all day, Xun Musheng said in a hoarse voice, "I'll go find someone. "

After the anesthesia wears off, Chi Yu wakes up.

He couldn't move, his hands, chest, shoulders, and neck were all firmly fixed, and it seemed that only his eyeballs could move.

The ward was spacious and tidy. A man in a nurse's uniform saw him open his eyes and immediately called the attending doctor.The doctor asked a few words, but he couldn't hear clearly, his mind was dizzy, and his ears were buzzing.

The doctor turned and spoke a few words to the nurse, then turned to him again.This time he heard clearly, the doctor said that the operation was a success, and it is enough to recuperate with peace of mind, and the rescued girl is fine, and has been transferred to the general ward.

Only then did he remember that he had saved a girl who committed suicide and had a dream that he could not remember clearly.

When he found someone falling from the building, he didn't even think about it, and rushed over almost instinctively.

I didn't expect that I could run so fast, my arms were still so strong, and my body was still so flexible.

Fast enough to surpass the butcher's knife of death.

Strong enough to cling to the life of another.

Be flexible enough to save yourself from being irreparably seriously injured.

He closed his eyes and remembered that he had talked a lot with the girl in his dream, but he could hardly remember them all. The only thing he could remember was that the girl asked "what is more attractive than death", and he didn't answer, because the answer was already in his heart.

Under the effect of the medicine, he fell asleep.The dream continued, but there was no girl saved by him in the dream.

He walked alone in the empty world, and after walking for a long time, two forked roads appeared in front of him, one was filled with black mist, but the signboard said "Liberation", and the other was lit with a faint light, saying "Catastrophe".

Liberation or catastrophe, which one to choose seems obvious.

He stood at the intersection for a long time, and walked towards the road illuminated by the twilight.

The road to disaster.

Having seen the light once, the darkness became unbearable.

Even if this light is stolen and fleeting.

He will no longer have any connection with the giver of the light, but he can quietly hide the light.

Strange to say, he always felt that the person was always by his side, and even had the illusion that the person was outside the operating room or the ward.When he woke up again, he involuntarily looked towards the door, then smiled wryly.

It was Xu Cheng and Professor Zhou who came.

There is no such person.

Xun Musheng temporarily handed over the company's affairs to others, and went to Beijing in person to invite the best rehabilitation team for Chi Yu. After returning to Zhongcheng, he stayed in the hospital almost all day, but he never showed up to Chi Yu before.

This relationship has been completely wrong from the very beginning, Chi Yu is not the person he has been waiting for for more than ten years.In front of him lay a high wall made of blunders, and he stood under the wall, sighing in frustration.

He couldn't get over it.

Chi Yu recovered well and was able to walk on the ground.Ke Jin and KIME did not know where they got the news, and after visiting once, they would go to the hospital every now and then.

Chi Yu was grateful in his heart, but his smile was a bit forced.

Li Xiao also rushed over after hearing the news, and cried as soon as he saw him, he couldn't comfort others, so he could only say softly: "I'm fine."

Xun Musheng leaned against the wall outside the ward, listening to the voices from inside, and rubbed the smooth agarwood bead in his pocket with his fingers.

"Aren't you going to see him?" Zhou Chenzhong came over, knowing how much he had done for Chi Yu, his attitude was much more relaxed than before.

Xun Musheng turned around and left.

Zhou Chenzhong sighed. If the person involved doesn't want to understand many things, no matter how hard others try, it will be useless.

And how long it will take to figure it out, no one knows.

As the weather gradually warmed up, Chi Yu changed the ward, and the medicines for fractures were reduced a lot, but the antidepressants were not.

Zhou Chenzhong noticed that his mental state was not much better than before, and one thing was always stuck in his heart.

One day, Zhou Chenzhong accompanied him to recover, and said chattingly: "You saved a suicide seeker, why don't you try to save yourself?"

His movements froze slightly, and after a few minutes he whispered, "I don't need to save myself."

Zhou Chenzhong slightly frowned.

"Because I didn't seek death like her." Chi Yu said slowly, "I don't want to die."

After a while, Chi Yu said again: "Professor Zhou, please do me a favor."

"You said."

"I want to see Mr. Xun." Chi Yu said, "I have something to tell him."



Putting down the phone, Xun Musheng folded his hands and remained silent.

Just now Zhou Chenzhong said on the phone that Chi Yu wanted to see him, so please set a time if possible.

He squinted his eyes, thinking whether Chi Yu meant it or Zhou Chenzhong meant it.If it is Chi Yu's own wish, then what Chi Yu wants to say.

Zhou Chenzhong is upright and has a strong sense of responsibility. He will never lie about this kind of thing, so he should really help Chi Yu spread the word.

Xun Musheng took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, but did not light it for a long time. He was full of doubts and a little uneasy.

But what is this uneasiness and why is it uneasy, but he has no clue.

He stood up and paced restlessly on the study terrace.

It has been several months since the incident happened, even if Chi Yu didn't propose to see him, it's time for him to talk to Chi Yu.But what to talk about, what is there to talk about?

For a long time, he deliberately didn't think about it, dragged it passively, went to see Chi Yu once a day, sometimes twice, and never thought about what would happen to Chi Yu after he was discharged from the hospital.

But there must always be an explanation for the emotional involvement, which can last for a while, but not for a lifetime.

He finally lit the cigarette between his fingers, and after exhaling a cloud of white mist, he made an appointment with Zhou Chenzhong to meet on Saturday afternoon.

It was only Monday at this time, and it wasn't that he was deliberately delaying the time, but that he was going on a business trip soon and would not be back until Friday.

It's been a long time since I've taken care of the company's affairs. This project is the top priority in the first half of the year, so I have to fly there myself.

Zhou Chenzhong never told Chi Yu about Xun Musheng's reluctance to treat him, and he almost never mentioned Xun Musheng, but Chi Yu never saw Xun Musheng in the hospital, so he naturally understood that Xun Musheng didn't want to see him.So when I asked Zhou Chenzhong for help, I was a little apprehensive and prepared to be rejected.

Fortunately, Xun Musheng did not refuse.

He breathed a sigh of relief, but also became more nervous.

After all, what he had to say was not easy. After a long struggle, he made up his mind to put an end to all this.

During the few days of his business trip, Xun Musheng realized that he was dying of illness. On the outside, he was beautiful, calm and wise, but inside he was always angry and anxious.

I always think about Chi Yu.

There is no antidote to this deformed longing that grows day by day.

He started to suffer from insomnia and couldn't sleep all night long. Before dawn, he looked through the photo album of his mobile phone and found the only photo of Chi Yu. After staring at it for a long time, his emotions gradually calmed down.

Originally, there were many photos of Chi Yu in the phone.When Chi Yu took model photos for Shengxi Plaza, he asked for all the photos from Xu Cheng, and saved several copies. Later, when he became extremely angry, he deleted all the photos, and the remaining photo was a fish that slipped through the net.

The person in the photo had his hands in his pockets, his shoulders were slightly raised due to the cold, and he was looking at the camera with a look of surprise on his face.

Xun Musheng swiped his index and middle fingers on the screen to enlarge the photo, trying to find his shadow in Chi Yu's eyes.

However, the shooting distance is far away, and no matter how high the pixel of the camera is, it cannot capture such subtle things.

He let out a deep breath, put his phone aside, and remembered that it was when Chi Yugang promised him that he would pick Chi Yu up from get off work, but there was a traffic jam on the road, and Chi Yu was already waiting by the side of the road when he arrived.

It was Chi Yu's first time waiting for him.

He should have parked the car in front of Chi Yu immediately, but he had other thoughts, took out his phone, and planned to take a picture of Chi Yu who was waiting for him.

Before pressing the shutter, Chi Yu seemed to feel something and turned sideways, looked at him, looked at the camera, his expression changed suddenly, and the picture was frozen.

An absurd thought lingered, he thought, it would be great if time could be frozen like a picture.

Before the truth is revealed.

On Saturday afternoon, Chi Yu sat early in the coffee shop near the hospital, ordered a glass of juice for herself, and leaned quietly on the small sofa.

This place was booked by Xun Musheng. There were not many people, and it was quite quiet, but not absolutely quiet, so that it would not make people feel embarrassed.

The nurse and Zhou Chenzhong brought Chi Yu over, and then went to the second floor.Zhou Chenzhong frowned and looked at the phone, shaking his head slightly.

Xun Musheng sent a message saying that the schedule had changed, he missed the plane yesterday, and now he has just landed, so he will come over from the airport immediately.

The appointed time had passed, Chi Yu was a little anxious, worried that Xun Musheng would not come, and looked at the glass door from time to time.His injury hasn't healed yet, and when he turns his head, bows and other movements, he is accompanied by severe pain.Zhou Chenzhong hurried down from the second floor and told him that Xun Musheng was just stuck in the road and would come, don't worry.

Chi Yu was not at ease, the longer he waited, the more sweaty palms would become.

Finally, half an hour later, Xun Musheng pushed open the door and walked in quickly.

Chi Yu subconsciously straightened her back.

God knows how eager Xun Musheng is.

I haven't seen him for a few days. When he came from the airport, he asked the driver to drive the car to the fastest speed. He repeatedly clasped and released his hands. When the car stopped next to the coffee shop, he rushed in without thinking about anything.

When making an appointment with Zhou Chenzhong, he originally wanted to adjust his emotions on Saturday and appear in front of Chi Yu in a neat and tidy manner, but the plan could not keep up with the changes. The schedule change and the flight were delayed, so he didn't even care about tidying himself up. In such a hurry, he broke into Chi Yu's field of vision.

When he looked at Chi Yu again, he clearly felt his heart tighten, and then suddenly softened.

When he realized that Chi Yu was looking at him, the corners of his lips turned up, and he even had the illusion that nothing bad had happened yet.

Chi Yu was just waiting for him to pick him up at the coffee shop, just like in that photo.

The waiter brought drinks and refreshments, and Xun Musheng looked at Chi Yu almost greedily, as if he wanted to make up for the lost week.

Chi Yu avoided his gaze, suppressed all his thoughts, and finally opened his mouth.

"Mr. Xun."

A very soft sound, but like a basin of ice water, woke Xun Musheng instantly.

Xun Musheng opened his eyes, his throat was dry and astringent—the person in front of him called him "Mr. Xun" again, and it took him a lot of patience and effort to get Chi Yu to change his name to "Mu Sheng", which was the first time Chi Yu called him that When he touched him, the tips of his ears were red, he couldn't help kissing him, Chi Yu just stepped back, but didn't struggle.

When Chi Yu called "Mu Sheng", he was always very gentle, with a smile in his voice.

But he probably never heard that "Musheng" sound again.

Chi Yu didn't understand why Xun Musheng looked at him like this. He became more and more nervous, and his eyelids twitched. After he managed to calm down, he said in a low voice, "Mr. Xun, I invited you here today to tell you something. These It may upset you, but I've thought about it for a long time, and I think I should tell you. You, you have a right to know."

There is soothing music flowing in the cafe, the light is not bright or dark, people are talking softly, and the atmosphere is just right.

But in the corner where Chi Yu and Xun Musheng were, the atmosphere was suffocating.

Chi Yu narrated with difficulty—about how he met Wen Yun at the beginning, how he fell in love with Wen Yun while getting along, and how he stayed by Wen Yun's side after being rejected; Talking about why Wen Yun sacrificed, and how he and Wen Yun exchanged identities.

His tone was calm, taking into account Xun Musheng's mood, he didn't mention how much Wen Yun was hurt, he didn't even say that Wen Yun had been lying in the ICU for a whole month, he skipped this paragraph lightly, and made up a self-deceiving lie, saying Wen Yun walked in a hurry, and probably didn't experience any pain.

Xun Musheng's muscles were tense, and his fists had already been clenched.

After talking about Wen Yun's death, Chi Yu was silent for a long time, staring blankly at the glass on the table, and when he spoke again, his voice gradually became hoarse.

The last paragraph is about his experience after he arrived in Zhongcheng, including the gradual loss of control of his mind and spirit. In the year after year of missing him, he regarded himself as Wen Yun, and Xun Musheng, who had a somewhat similar personality to Wen Yun, as Wen Yun. Jun's replacement.

Xun Musheng didn't say a word because he was already speechless.

This confession almost exhausted Chi Yu's energy. After he finished speaking, he sighed softly, his face was pale, and his hands on the table trembled violently—his muscles and bones were injured. Even if he tried his best, he couldn't control his fingers. Sharp jitter.

Xun Musheng's mind was blank. After a while, he raised his right hand, supported his forehead, and tried to inhale, but he still felt suffocated.

Chi Yu had practiced these words countless times in his heart, and now that he said them, it was not like a heavy burden, but it felt a little easier after all.

But that's not all.

Just now I was telling Xun Musheng the truth, but now I am apologizing to him for what I did.

"Mr. Xun." His heart beat faster again, his speech became slower and slower, and his voice became softer, "It was my fault that I lied to you, took you as Wen Yun's substitute, and accepted your care as it should be." .”

"I have a psychological problem. Most of the time I think I am Wen Yun, but it is true that I deceived you."

"Actually, I also woke up sometimes, but I only thought of looking for Professor Zhou, but I didn't think of looking for you directly. Because of me, I..." He paused, his fingers trembling even more, "I really don't know what to do. How to tell you."

"Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to control all the damage to a minimum, but I failed to grasp it, and finally caused the current situation...Mr. Xun, I am really sorry."

"I've thought about it for a long time, and probably no matter what I do, I can't make you treat what happened in the past six months as if it didn't happen. The only thing I can do is to sincerely apologize to you."

Xun Musheng's heart swelled as if it was about to burst, and thousands of emotions were churning and colliding in his internal organs. He looked at Chi Yu, opened his mouth, and only let out a hoarse "Why is this?"

Chi Yu was slightly startled, not knowing what to say to make him feel better, frowned in thought, and then said softly: "Wen Yun always remembers you."

I thought that saying that would make the man in front of me less sad.

"He likes the bracelet you gave him very much. He said it was a lucky charm, and he often wears it on his hands with the instructor on his back." The memory brought pain to the bones, and a thin layer of sweat oozed from Chi Yu's neck, but he still insisted on saying : "He praised you for playing basketball well and shooting very accurately. You told him that you wanted to join the army too. He, he also said that if you come, he will introduce you to me. Let's see who can shoot more accurately. .”

Chi Yu's current physical condition can't sit for a long time. Zhou Chenzhong came down from the second floor and wanted to help Chi Yu stand up and walk a few steps. When he got closer, he found that Chi Yu's head was covered with sweat.

Can't go on any longer.

Chi Yu also noticed that she lost her composure.

He got up in a hurry, wanting to bend down to apologize to Xun Musheng—this would make him look more sincere, but the pain prevented him from doing this, so he had to bow his head slightly and solemnly said: "Mr. Xun, I'm sorry. From now on, we, we will go our separate ways. road."

He paused, squeezed out a not-so-good-looking smile, "I wish you well."

Xun Musheng stood up suddenly, his eyes frantic, but he didn't dare to touch his hand. Seeing that he was about to leave, he hurriedly took out the wooden bead tied with a red string, "This is yours..."

Chi Yu was startled, his expression became much gentler, and there seemed to be tears in his eyes.

A few seconds later, he shook his head, "Mr. Xun, keep it, after all, it is the lucky charm you gave to Wenyun. Unfortunately, there is only one bead left on the bracelet, so you keep it, be it, be it as a memory think."

After finishing speaking, he stopped looking at Xun Musheng and said to Zhou Chen, "Professor Zhou, please take me back."

Xun Musheng sat down on the sofa, staring intently at Chi Yu's back.The background was so thin that it made people feel sad, and it burned into his eyes heavily.

He watched Chi Yu walk out of the coffee shop and disappeared from sight, and suddenly, a dizzy feeling came over him.

Saw it.

Time passed quietly under the empty gaze, he inserted his hands into his hair, and the lines of his masseter muscles trembled on his cheeks.

Chi Yu had never said so many things to him before, and the first time he confided to him was actually to say goodbye.

He finally understood what that uneasy feeling was.