when you look at me

Yuan Yiping stared almost intently at the man not far away.

Just now, a little girl came up to strike up a conversation, and he was upset, so he pushed the person away and got up and sat in the corner booth. Unexpectedly, it happened to be convenient for him to look at him calmly at this time.

...Is it Chen Shuo?

That's right...it's Chen Shuo.Yuan Yiping did not expect to see Chen Shuo here.

Yuan Yiping is 27 years old this year, so Chen Shuo—Chen Shuo should be 33 years old.Thinking of this, Yuan Yiping felt a little mocking. The day before yesterday, his mother was nagging on the phone that the old couple of the Chen family were in a hurry. Chen Shuo was so old and not married, what would he do if he became an old bachelor in the future?

The Chen family's old couple must never have imagined that at this moment, their son was hugging a man with a big belly and kissing passionately.

There was a round table between the booth where Yuan Yiping was at and the bar where Chen Shuo was.

This bar is not a gay bar, although the atmosphere is lively and lively, but only Chen Shuo and that man are kissing passionately in public.

Yuan Yiping just watched quietly, looking at Chen Shuo and that man—how should I put it, like two animals?Can.Chen Shuo and the man kissed like two animals, Chen Shuo's hand rubbed back and forth on the man's waist.

Yuan Yiping felt disgusted, wouldn't he feel the soft fat in his hand?

A few minutes later, Chen Shuo and the man stood up and walked out one after the other.

So Yuan Yiping also got up, and shouted: "Chen Shuo!"

Chen Shuo's Shuo has four tones, and Yuan Yiping's Putonghua is a first-class B, so this "Chen Shuo" is extraordinarily correct and full of sound.

Sure enough, Chen Shuo shuddered and turned around abruptly.

Yuan Yiping took two steps forward, and called out again, "Chen Shuo."

At this time, the bright yellow beam of light in the bar happened to pass over Chen Shuo's face. Although it was only for a moment, Yuan Yiping could still see it clearly: Chen Shuo's eyes widened, with an expression of seeing a ghost.

Yuan Yiping smiled silently: "I am Yuan Yiping, do you still recognize me?"

Chen Shuo's expression froze for a few seconds before he raised his voice and hesitantly called out, "Yiping?"

Yuan Yiping thought to himself who are you? Call me Yiping, and you deserve to call me Yiping?But before he could speak, the man holding Chen Shuo's arm said, "Brother, let's go..."

This man looked to be 40 years old, but his voice was thin and thin, and it circled around, as if acting like a baby.

Chen Shuo felt a little sick.

"I—" Chen Shuo moved his arm unnaturally: "Yiping, let's go out and talk?"

Yuan Yiping nodded, followed Chen Shuo and the man out of the bar.

As soon as he got out of the bar, the man hugged Chen Shuo and walked straight to Rujia in front of him. Chen Shuo pushed him: "That...today, forget it."

On the busy street, the man leaned directly on Chen Shuo's chest, trying to unbutton Chen Shuo while saying vaguely, "No brother, we finally met today, please ask your friend to wait for a while, let's hurry up." Battle speed-"

Chen Shuo pushed the man away: "Forget it, you don't have my WeChat ID, so contact me when you have time."

The man looked at Yuan Yiping, cursed in a low voice, turned around and left.

From the beginning to the end, Yuan Yiping watched quietly.

Chen Shuo fastened the unbuttoned button, turned to look at Yuan Yiping: "Yiping, why are you here?" His mouth was full of alcohol.

All kinds of neon lights on this bar street are flickering, and the street lights are also bright orange.Yuan Yiping didn't answer Chen Shuo's words, and looked at his face carefully.

Chen Shuo is 33 years old—he is old.Yuan Yiping thought.

Chen Shuo 11 years ago was clean and refreshing, like a cold Sprite just taken out of the refrigerator.Yuan Yiping remembered the first time he met Chen Shuo. In Yuan Yizhi's cramped and messy bedroom, Chen Shuo was sitting in front of the TV playing Super Mario. trim.

But now, Yuan Yiping clearly saw the fine lines at the corners of Chen Shuo's eyes—the corners of Chen Shuo's eyes drooped slightly.He is indeed old.

"I came to Changsha on a business trip," Yuan Yiping said, "Why are you here?"

"I came to study - organized by the unit." Chen Shuo replied.

"Oh."

"...Eh," Chen Shuo smiled, looked sideways at Yuan Yiping, feeling a little emotional: "Yiping, I really didn't expect to see you here, we haven't seen each other for several years."

Yes, it's been a few years since I saw you.

The last time Yuan Yiping returned to Gancheng was the winter vacation of his senior year, which was five years ago.Yuan Yiping thought, Chen Shuo didn't seem so old then, did he?Why has there been such a big change in five years?Or, since we haven't seen each other for five years, so even a little change is very obvious?

or--

"Are you overly indulgent?" Yuan Yiping asked bluntly, "You grow old so fast."

Chen Shuo paused, reached out and touched his face: "...Really?"

Yuan Yiping said: "Yes. You are really old."

Chen Shuo put down his hands and smiled lightly: "Hey, who can't grow old?"

What he said made Yuan Yiping angry for a while, and he choked without thinking: "You also know that you are old, and you were so fierce with that man just now——Uncle Chen and Aunt Zhang are waiting for you to get married, don't you know?"

Chen Shuo still had a smile on his face, and he was not annoyed, he just said slowly: "You saw it too, how could I get married?"

Yuan Yiping sneered: "Then maybe, you have the virtue of being able to sleep with any man - you don't have any psychological barriers to cheating a little girl into marriage."

These words were really harsh, Chen Shuo fell silent.

Neither of them spoke, they walked down the road and arrived at the edge of the Xiangjiang River in a short while.The river water is dark and gloomy at night, and the unique night wind in early summer gently brushes on the skin, which is very comfortable.

Chen Shuo leaned his elbows on the railing, facing the Xiangjiang River, and said softly, "Don't tell others about these things, okay?"

Yuan Yiping felt regretful at first, but when he heard what Chen Shuo said, he became even more angry: "If you want others to know, you have to do nothing yourself."

"Hey," Chen Shuo said in a helpless tone, "I understand, but people like us can only... be like this."

Chen Shuo is still like this, Yuan Yiping thought, no matter how vicious or mean he said to Chen Shuo, Chen Shuo would take it lightly.Just like a pool of deep stagnant water, even if a brick is thrown in, there is no sound of "bang" entering the water.

Yuan Yiping understands the truth: cruel people always seem gentle.

"How have you been these past few years?" Chen Shuo took out a cigarette case from his trouser pocket, lifted the lid and moved it in front of Yuan Yiping: "Would you like one?"

"I don't smoke." Yuan Yiping refused firmly.

"Well, it's pretty good," Chen Shuo lit a cigarette with a "click": "I found out that you young people don't smoke now, and the new kids at work don't smoke or drink... Not bad, it's good for your health. "

Why is Chen Shuo rambling so much?Has he nothing else to say?

Yuan Yiping looked at the cigarette butt flickering between Chen Shuo's fingers, under the cigarette butt was the slowly flowing Xiangjiang River, and in the distance, there were many lights.

"Are you still in Gangang?" Yuan Yiping asked.

Gangang is the abbreviation of Gancheng Iron and Steel Co., Ltd. When Yuan Yiping was a child, Gangang was the largest state-owned enterprise in Gancheng. Joining Gangang is equivalent to clinging to the iron rice bowl.However, the entire iron and steel industry has failed in recent years, and Yuan Yiping heard that Gangang's profitability is not as good as each year.

"Still in Gangang." Chen Shuo said.

"Still a worker?"

"Well," Chen Shuo paused, and continued: "But I was transferred to the inspection department two years ago, and I basically don't work at ordinary times, and I am very free."

"Does that mean you earn less?"

"It's less than five thousand," Chen Shuo smiled, "It's definitely not as good as yours in a big city."

Yuan Yiping didn't know what to answer. After thinking for a while, he asked again: "There are many people in state-owned enterprises with miscellaneous eyes. You messed around like this, and you haven't been caught?"

Chen Shuo shook the cigarette ash on the railing, and said in a relaxed tone, "Yiping, you have been in the south for a long time, and you speak like a southerner. Northerners don't use the word 'engagement'."

Yuan Yiping: "Besides, Gancheng is such a big place, when you go out, you will meet people you know. Are you feeling miserable? Go crazy while you are on a business trip?" The scene of Chen Shuo kissing that man just now appeared in front of his eyes. .

"You're right," Chen Shuo turned his face away, and turned his head to Yuan Yiping's side: "So I...sometimes go to Zhengzhou, Shijiazhuang, etc., do it when I go, and go back to Gancheng when I'm done. ,Ha ha."

His voice seemed to have a careless smile, low, almost covered by the sound of the river.

Yuan Yiping gritted his teeth and said, "You are not afraid of AIDS."

Chen Shuo still turned the back of his head to Yuan Yiping: "Hey, that's how our circle is... tonight, I'm a little dizzy from drinking..."

Yuan Yiping finally couldn't bear it anymore, words came out from between his teeth: "Chen Shuo, you are so disgusting."

Chen Shuo said two more vague "haha", and then stopped talking.

Yuan Yiping silently looked at the pitch-black river. He knew that his speech was ugly—too ugly—but seeing Chen Shuo's virtue, he couldn't help it.No, it's not that I can't help seeing this picture of virtue, but I can't help seeing Chen Shuo.He hadn't seen Chen Shuo for five years, but now that he met, the entangled hatred still surged into his heart uncontrollably like a fish poking out of a pond in a rainy day.

Not long after, the cigarette held between Chen Shuo's fingers burned to the end, and he pinned it on the railing.

"Yiping, I'm going back to the hotel. The train passes at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. I have to pack my luggage tonight." Chen Shuo sighed, "I can't chat with you in detail, sorry."

Yuan Yi said flatly that you fart, if I hadn't bumped into you, why don't you go out for sex tonight?You pack your ass luggage.

Seeing that Yuan Yiping was silent, Chen Shuo actually smiled, then turned around and walked away.

Yuan Yiping just stood there, watching Chen Shuo's back gradually disappear into the bright and dark night, the sound of the river behind him seemed to become the soundtrack of their parting, sobbing and saying a lot, both of them The silent past.