Second Piano Concerto
Chapter 44
"What's wrong?" Tan Shuo looked at Qin Haiou.
Qin Haiou looked down at the keys in front of him, looking a little frustrated: "No matter how well I play here, no matter how much I like this piece of music, I can't play it to others."
He has tried repeatedly these days, and now he is discussing with Tan Shuo here. All of this is to better present a work, but the final presentation effect cannot be shared with more people. Thinking of this, Qin Haiou The happy mood disappeared in an instant.
Since he knew the truth about the past, the deeper he understood Tan Shuo, the more he trusted him.Usually, he always tries to avoid mentioning his psychological barriers in conversations, but now he just wants to talk about all his troubles, because he feels that at least in front of Tan Shuo, he no longer needs to worry about anything.
He thought for a while, and then said: "At the beginning, I really felt hopeless, but as you said, at least I can play to myself, I shouldn't be depressed... I think you are right, As long as I can still play the piano, even if I don’t go on stage for the rest of my life, I can stick to it.”
Tan Shuo stopped composing piano works because of the incident ten years ago. Even though Qin Haiou wanted to help him, there was no work to play.But now, Tan Shuo has written a work, although it is only a four-page sketch, but he wrote it for Qin Haiou. In order to let Qin Haiou discover his own problems, he specially wrote a new work for him.But even so, even if this work is right in front of his eyes, Qin Haiou still can't let people hear it. Change this status quo.
"Later, I found out that I could play the piano in front of you. I felt very happy. At that time, I thought, maybe I will get better slowly, and even if I still can't get better, it's good to go on like this. But—" He looked up Looking at Tan Shuo, the expression on his face was very complicated, but his eyes were full of heat, as if the repressed emotions might burst out at any time, "But now, I think this is not enough. Recently, I have been thinking every day, if I can climb It’s good to be on stage, I still have a lot of things to do, I can’t leave the stage!”
"I want to go back." Qin Haiou said, "I know I can't do it now, but I still want to go back, especially."
After he finished speaking, he lowered his head again and fell into silence.Tan Shuo looked at him, also silent, but he kept thinking.Since Qin Haiou explained the reason for coming to the ancient town, he never took the initiative to talk about his thoughts on this matter.Now he not only opened up his heart, but also made it clear that he wants to come back. Tan Shuo believes that no matter whether he can do it now, this is already a major change.Qin Haiou no longer evaded the problem, and had the determination to overcome obstacles. Tan Shuo thought that this process would take longer, but unexpectedly Qin Haiou brought it up by himself so quickly.Tan Shuo understood that this was not an easy task, and he was also a little curious about how this difficult transformation was accomplished in Qin Haiou's heart.But now is not the time to be curious, Tan Shuo thought for a moment, and soon had an idea.
However, before Tan Shuo could speak, Qin Haiou said to himself again: "It doesn't matter, I believe there will always be a way."
Now that he has made up his mind, he will not back down this time, no matter how much time and effort it takes, he will not regret it.
It was only then that Tan Shuo discovered that Qin Haiou didn't want to get feedback from him, he just wanted to talk unilaterally, and these words were more like speaking for himself.Tan Shuo then followed his words and continued: "Yes, there must be a solution, but don't be too anxious, don't always force yourself to think, otherwise you will not be able to relax."
Qin Haiou nodded.Seeing that his mood had calmed down, Tan Shuo asked him to continue practicing the piano, while he left the piano room and went to the coffee shop to find Liu Yang.
"I remember your birthday is at the beginning of next month, right?" Tan Shuo asked after the two chatted about Tan Shuo's house.
Liu Yang was surprised: "You still remember this, should I be touched?"
"Are you going to do it?" Tan Shuo asked.
"What are you going to do?" Liu Yang was stunned, and then realized, "I have no such plan."
"Why?" Tan Shuo asked.
Liu Yang warned: "A woman's age is a sensitive topic, do you really not understand or are you provoking me on purpose?"
"I don't mind Xiaojin, what do you mind?" Tan Shuo asked.
"How old is Xiao Jin?" Liu Yang turned his head and didn't want to talk to him.
"This birthday, you have to do it." Tan Shuo said.Seeing that she was silent, he said again: "Xiao Qin said that he wants to come back."
"What?!" Liu Yang immediately turned around.
"Just said, it's next door." Tan Shuo raised his finger and pointed in the direction of the piano room.
Liu Yang glanced in that direction subconsciously, then looked back at him: "When? How do you come back? Is there a concert?"
Tan Shuo looked at her: "Do you think it's possible based on his current state?"
Liu Yang opened his mouth, but remained silent.
Tan Shuo said: "He said that he wants to go back to the stage, which proves that he already has the subjective desire to overcome obstacles, which is a good sign. But will and determination alone cannot make him fully recover. If he is now allowed to go to music If he plays at the meeting, he will definitely hit the stage, and if that happens, he may not be able to get out of this shadow in his life."
Liu Yang actually understood this truth: "You mean, step by step?"
Tan Shuo said: "He needs an opportunity, a transition, but this is also a hurdle. As long as he can get over it, he will not be far from a real comeback."
"But what you said has anything to do with my birthday?" Liu Yang asked.
"I want him to play for everyone on your birthday." Tan Shuo said.
Liu Yang took a light breath.No matter what the purpose of doing this was, just imagining that scene made it difficult for her to calm down.
It was rare for Tan Shuo to be so serious, and when she came back to her senses, she continued: "He can't go to the concert right now, but if he just plays in front of you or me, it won't have a substantial effect. He needs an audience, he needs The atmosphere of a performance, even if it is only in a small range. This will give him a certain pressure, but it will not overwhelm him like a concert. I thought about it, what we can use at present is also It’s an occasion like a birthday party, which is the most natural and appropriate occasion.”
Liu Yang calmed down to think about what he said, and asked: "In this case, why don't you just invite everyone here and hold a party similar to a salon concert?"
Tan Shuo shook his head immediately: "If that's the case, what if he flinches on the spot and is so nervous that he refuses to play, so that the audience will stare blankly? You also know that if that happens, it will only make him more nervous. Embarrassment is like a person whose leg has been broken. Before the bone grows, it will be broken again. At that time, it will be even more difficult for him to stand up again. Therefore, we cannot force him to do this. To do it, you can only guide him to do it, and give him a way out. If it is your birthday party, he can play as he wants, and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want to play. No one knows that there is an arrangement on your birthday This program. In this way, he will have enough time to repent, and he needs such time, because this matter is difficult for him, we can create opportunities for him, but we must not force him.”
Liu Yang frowned: "Then... how do you plan to guide him?"
Tan Shuo said: "I wrote a piece of music for him to play before, and I plan to let him perform this piece of music in public on your birthday, saying that it is a birthday present for you." I wanted to try it for my birthday, but I was too busy to write about it."
Liu Yang was silent again for a long time.Tan Shuo asked: "Why, do you think this is a bad idea?"
"No, I'm just worried..." Liu Yang sighed, "Do you think he will agree?"
"I think it's hard for him to refuse." Tan Shuo said, "He wants to play in his heart, and it's your birthday."
"Then what should I do, pretend I don't know anything?" Liu Yang asked.
"Yes, you pretend you don't know, and then invite all the friends he met in this town. When it's your birthday, don't say anything, just move the piano back to the store, and put it in its original place .”
When Tan Shuo said this, he also paused for a while.
"The rest is up to him," he said.
Qin Haiou looked down at the keys in front of him, looking a little frustrated: "No matter how well I play here, no matter how much I like this piece of music, I can't play it to others."
He has tried repeatedly these days, and now he is discussing with Tan Shuo here. All of this is to better present a work, but the final presentation effect cannot be shared with more people. Thinking of this, Qin Haiou The happy mood disappeared in an instant.
Since he knew the truth about the past, the deeper he understood Tan Shuo, the more he trusted him.Usually, he always tries to avoid mentioning his psychological barriers in conversations, but now he just wants to talk about all his troubles, because he feels that at least in front of Tan Shuo, he no longer needs to worry about anything.
He thought for a while, and then said: "At the beginning, I really felt hopeless, but as you said, at least I can play to myself, I shouldn't be depressed... I think you are right, As long as I can still play the piano, even if I don’t go on stage for the rest of my life, I can stick to it.”
Tan Shuo stopped composing piano works because of the incident ten years ago. Even though Qin Haiou wanted to help him, there was no work to play.But now, Tan Shuo has written a work, although it is only a four-page sketch, but he wrote it for Qin Haiou. In order to let Qin Haiou discover his own problems, he specially wrote a new work for him.But even so, even if this work is right in front of his eyes, Qin Haiou still can't let people hear it. Change this status quo.
"Later, I found out that I could play the piano in front of you. I felt very happy. At that time, I thought, maybe I will get better slowly, and even if I still can't get better, it's good to go on like this. But—" He looked up Looking at Tan Shuo, the expression on his face was very complicated, but his eyes were full of heat, as if the repressed emotions might burst out at any time, "But now, I think this is not enough. Recently, I have been thinking every day, if I can climb It’s good to be on stage, I still have a lot of things to do, I can’t leave the stage!”
"I want to go back." Qin Haiou said, "I know I can't do it now, but I still want to go back, especially."
After he finished speaking, he lowered his head again and fell into silence.Tan Shuo looked at him, also silent, but he kept thinking.Since Qin Haiou explained the reason for coming to the ancient town, he never took the initiative to talk about his thoughts on this matter.Now he not only opened up his heart, but also made it clear that he wants to come back. Tan Shuo believes that no matter whether he can do it now, this is already a major change.Qin Haiou no longer evaded the problem, and had the determination to overcome obstacles. Tan Shuo thought that this process would take longer, but unexpectedly Qin Haiou brought it up by himself so quickly.Tan Shuo understood that this was not an easy task, and he was also a little curious about how this difficult transformation was accomplished in Qin Haiou's heart.But now is not the time to be curious, Tan Shuo thought for a moment, and soon had an idea.
However, before Tan Shuo could speak, Qin Haiou said to himself again: "It doesn't matter, I believe there will always be a way."
Now that he has made up his mind, he will not back down this time, no matter how much time and effort it takes, he will not regret it.
It was only then that Tan Shuo discovered that Qin Haiou didn't want to get feedback from him, he just wanted to talk unilaterally, and these words were more like speaking for himself.Tan Shuo then followed his words and continued: "Yes, there must be a solution, but don't be too anxious, don't always force yourself to think, otherwise you will not be able to relax."
Qin Haiou nodded.Seeing that his mood had calmed down, Tan Shuo asked him to continue practicing the piano, while he left the piano room and went to the coffee shop to find Liu Yang.
"I remember your birthday is at the beginning of next month, right?" Tan Shuo asked after the two chatted about Tan Shuo's house.
Liu Yang was surprised: "You still remember this, should I be touched?"
"Are you going to do it?" Tan Shuo asked.
"What are you going to do?" Liu Yang was stunned, and then realized, "I have no such plan."
"Why?" Tan Shuo asked.
Liu Yang warned: "A woman's age is a sensitive topic, do you really not understand or are you provoking me on purpose?"
"I don't mind Xiaojin, what do you mind?" Tan Shuo asked.
"How old is Xiao Jin?" Liu Yang turned his head and didn't want to talk to him.
"This birthday, you have to do it." Tan Shuo said.Seeing that she was silent, he said again: "Xiao Qin said that he wants to come back."
"What?!" Liu Yang immediately turned around.
"Just said, it's next door." Tan Shuo raised his finger and pointed in the direction of the piano room.
Liu Yang glanced in that direction subconsciously, then looked back at him: "When? How do you come back? Is there a concert?"
Tan Shuo looked at her: "Do you think it's possible based on his current state?"
Liu Yang opened his mouth, but remained silent.
Tan Shuo said: "He said that he wants to go back to the stage, which proves that he already has the subjective desire to overcome obstacles, which is a good sign. But will and determination alone cannot make him fully recover. If he is now allowed to go to music If he plays at the meeting, he will definitely hit the stage, and if that happens, he may not be able to get out of this shadow in his life."
Liu Yang actually understood this truth: "You mean, step by step?"
Tan Shuo said: "He needs an opportunity, a transition, but this is also a hurdle. As long as he can get over it, he will not be far from a real comeback."
"But what you said has anything to do with my birthday?" Liu Yang asked.
"I want him to play for everyone on your birthday." Tan Shuo said.
Liu Yang took a light breath.No matter what the purpose of doing this was, just imagining that scene made it difficult for her to calm down.
It was rare for Tan Shuo to be so serious, and when she came back to her senses, she continued: "He can't go to the concert right now, but if he just plays in front of you or me, it won't have a substantial effect. He needs an audience, he needs The atmosphere of a performance, even if it is only in a small range. This will give him a certain pressure, but it will not overwhelm him like a concert. I thought about it, what we can use at present is also It’s an occasion like a birthday party, which is the most natural and appropriate occasion.”
Liu Yang calmed down to think about what he said, and asked: "In this case, why don't you just invite everyone here and hold a party similar to a salon concert?"
Tan Shuo shook his head immediately: "If that's the case, what if he flinches on the spot and is so nervous that he refuses to play, so that the audience will stare blankly? You also know that if that happens, it will only make him more nervous. Embarrassment is like a person whose leg has been broken. Before the bone grows, it will be broken again. At that time, it will be even more difficult for him to stand up again. Therefore, we cannot force him to do this. To do it, you can only guide him to do it, and give him a way out. If it is your birthday party, he can play as he wants, and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want to play. No one knows that there is an arrangement on your birthday This program. In this way, he will have enough time to repent, and he needs such time, because this matter is difficult for him, we can create opportunities for him, but we must not force him.”
Liu Yang frowned: "Then... how do you plan to guide him?"
Tan Shuo said: "I wrote a piece of music for him to play before, and I plan to let him perform this piece of music in public on your birthday, saying that it is a birthday present for you." I wanted to try it for my birthday, but I was too busy to write about it."
Liu Yang was silent again for a long time.Tan Shuo asked: "Why, do you think this is a bad idea?"
"No, I'm just worried..." Liu Yang sighed, "Do you think he will agree?"
"I think it's hard for him to refuse." Tan Shuo said, "He wants to play in his heart, and it's your birthday."
"Then what should I do, pretend I don't know anything?" Liu Yang asked.
"Yes, you pretend you don't know, and then invite all the friends he met in this town. When it's your birthday, don't say anything, just move the piano back to the store, and put it in its original place .”
When Tan Shuo said this, he also paused for a while.
"The rest is up to him," he said.
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