Second Piano Concerto

"What do you mean you can't play?" Tan Shuo finally asked.

Tan Shuo was a little surprised by Qin Haiou's answer, but he didn't know Qin Haiou's music life, so he was only surprised when he heard this answer, and did not have too many associations and guesses.But Liu Yang was different.Liu Yang noticed that what Qin Haiou said was "can't play", not "don't want to play".And "can't play" is a very vague term, and the reasons may be various.Liu Yang has been following Qin Haiou for many years, and at this time there are countless thoughts swirling in his mind, but none of these guesses are convincing enough.Qin Haiou has studied under famous artists and has the support of his relatives. He also owns an independent brokerage company. He is a free artist, and his reputation and stage image have never been stained.Liu Yang really couldn't think of anything that could force him to give up the performance.But a woman's imagination and speed of association are terrifying.Within two seconds, in Liu Yang's imagination, Qin Haiou became a tragic figure who was brilliant but terminally ill.This thought scared Liu Yang half to death, so he quickly withdrew his thoughts and listened intently to what Qin Haiou would say.

Qin Haiou hesitated for a moment, and then slowly said: "At the beginning, I was very nervous when I was on stage, and I was afraid of making mistakes. I thought it was the nervousness that normal people would have during performances. It's just that I couldn't control it well. So it stood out, but then I figured out it wasn't... Even when I knew I could handle the piece I was going to play, I still had a lot of anxiety. It got worse and worse, until I couldn't sleep well as the show got closer and the whole day Yedi suffered from insomnia and started sweating before I got on stage. In the worst case, my fingers trembled unconsciously, which made it difficult for me to control... I wanted to back off on the spot several times and cancel the performance until the last concert was over. I don't think it can go on like this anymore. If it keeps going like this, one day I'm going to screw everything up. Rather than being like that, I might as well stop acting now."

He paused, and then said: "My sister found out about my situation, so she asked me to come here to relax and adjust my state. I also hope that the situation will improve after a period of rest, but the fact is...my state is not only Instead of getting better, it got worse.”

Speaking of which, he looked at Liu Yang. His statement had been very calm, and he tried his best to control his emotions well, but at this moment he couldn't bear it anymore. As his tone became heavy, his voice began to be a little bit Unsteady: "I was here the other day... and saw your piano, and it wasn't that I didn't want to play for you. But, as I sat there, I found that nervous feeling coming back... I wasn't at all I couldn't control my emotions. That's when I realized that my situation was so serious that I couldn't play as long as someone was around... I was so desperate, I thought, I would never be able to play the piano again for the rest of my life. "

After saying this, he fell silent.Seeing his bowed head and pained face, Liu Yang felt his heart was broken.She never thought that Qin Haiou's refusal to play in the coffee shop that day had such a reason behind it.She never thought that Qin Haiou's termination of the performance was due to psychological reasons.Such an excellent pianist is enduring such huge mental torture. Liu Yang couldn't wait to comfort him, but she has no experience in this area, and she seemed a little incoherent when she spoke: "It's okay, you must not You'll be fine, you'll be fine..."

At this time, Tan Shuo suddenly asked: "How long has this situation lasted?"

"Almost two years." Qin Haiou said.

"It's really a long time." Tan Shuo said.

Liu Yang was still in a hurry: "Don't force yourself, this kind of thing is often too much haste, and the state needs to be adjusted slowly..."

Knowing that Liu Yang was comforting himself, Qin Haiou said, "I understand. I have also thought about the reasons for the deterioration of the situation. I think it has nothing to do with whether I sleep or where I live. I am afraid it is caused by myself."

Tan Shuo said: "You mean, you are sick?"

"You are the only one who is sick!" Liu Yang exploded.

But Qin Haiou nodded: "I think there is something wrong with my psychology. I even consulted a psychiatrist for it, but it didn't work."

Just as Liu Yang wanted to reprimand Tan Shuo, when he heard Qin Haiou say this, he turned to Qin Haiou to comfort him, but Tan Shuo said with a smile: "Just kidding, take it seriously, everyone can't stand the pressure. I don’t know where to get my rent for this month! Besides, can’t you still play, didn’t you put yourself into playing just now?”

Qin Haiou was taken aback, and his heart suddenly relaxed a lot.

The real reason for his termination of the show has been known only to his family, teacher Wang Yifu and a few members of the management team. This is the first time he has expressed his inner feelings to outsiders.Since he came to this town, Tan Shuo and Liu Yang have given him a lot of care, and Liu Yang has kept the secret for him until today.He was originally disturbed by the concealment, and Tan Shuo heard him playing the piano earlier. Now that Tan Shuo asked, he decided to tell the whole thing.Now that he has recognized and accepted his current situation, he can still remain calm when talking about it, but when he recalls the scene when he came to the coffee shop for the first time, the frozen sense of fear and despair still reminds him still fresh.That was the day when he was most depressed. When he found that he couldn't play the piano in front of Liu Yang, the blow he received still makes him feel uncomfortable like a nightmare.He was affected by this emotion, and his mood became heavy involuntarily, but at this moment, Tan Shuo's words gently pried away the big rock that was pressing on his heart, as if he was out of his mind that day. At that time, Tan Shuo knocked him awake with a small stone.

He can still play.This is his hope and his most important wealth.This is a truth that he has already figured out, but this truth is sometimes easily forgotten by him.He didn't know whether Tan Shuo was intentional or unintentional, whether it was just out of comfort or he really thought so, but this sentence went straight to Qin Haiou's heart, reminding him of the most important thing again.

Qin Haiou's complexion improved a lot immediately, and his expression became more relaxed. He said to Tan Shuo, "Well, you are right."

Although Liu Yang didn't know why Qin Haiou's mood improved so quickly, he could see that Tan Shuo's words had an effect.There are many questions in her mind, most of them are about Qin Haiou, and some of them are about Tan Shuo, but at this time her thoughts are very messy, and she is not sure what to ask and what not to ask, now this Is the timing right.While struggling, Tan Shuo said again: "You just rest in this town first, and I will take you out to play after a while. I will talk about other things later, the most important thing is to eat well and sleep well!"

As he spoke, he rubbed his stomach and looked at the two of them: "I'm so hungry! Are you hungry?"

At this time, Qin Haiou's mood has basically recovered. He was practicing the piano again this morning, and he was frightened again. He said those words with difficulty just now, which exhausted his physical and mental energy. Now listening to Tan Shuo's words Asked, nodded immediately: "Hungry."

Tan Shuo immediately jumped up from the sofa: "Let's go, let's eat!" He turned back and asked Liu Yang, "Are you going?"

Liu Yang was still thinking about something, subconsciously replied: "I have to open the shop first."

Tan Shuo nodded and pushed Qin Haiou out: "Then let's go first!"

In order to rush to listen to the wall this morning, he didn't have a very full breakfast. He was already so hungry that his chest was pressed against his back, and he couldn't wait a second longer.Qin Haiou would usually say hello to Liu Yang when he left the coffee shop, but what happened this morning filled his mind with things. At this time, Tan Shuo anxiously pushed him a few times, and followed him out of the door in a daze. .

Liu Yang was still slowly digesting the content of the conversation just now, thinking about how to carry on the conversation better, but Tan Shuo took him away in the blink of an eye, and she didn't even have time to react.She chased to the door of the coffee shop and stared at the backs of the two people at Xiaoxiqiao, and wanted to call them back, but after thinking about it, she felt that she also needed time to tidy up, so she turned and went back to the shop.

Qin Haiou followed Tan Shuo and took a shortcut back.Tan Shuo seemed to be really hungry, so he just kept his head on his way and didn't have time to talk.When we were in the coffee shop earlier, most of the topics were about Qin Haiou. At this moment, the two of them walked under the sun in silence, and Qin Haiou finally got out of his mind to think about Tan Shuo's matter.

Tan Shuo is the owner of a rice noodle shop, but also a composer.After Qin Haiou thought about it, the more he thought about it, the more amazing it was.

Tan Shuo, even when he talks to his friends, is often half-true.Sometimes he deliberately teases and jokes with you, sometimes he kindly coaxes and diverts your attention so that you don't think about those sad things, and sometimes it's purely perfunctory.If you don't know him well enough, it's hard to tell what kind of situation he's acting in front of you.

Qin Haiou felt that through this period of getting along, he had begun to understand this person a little bit.He carefully recalled the conversation between Tan Shuo and Liu Yang just now, and felt that what Tan Shuo said could basically be classified as perfunctory.Although Tan Shuo answered Liu Yang's question, he actually didn't reveal anything. Even the process of his coming to Longjin Town to settle down was only briefly mentioned in one sentence.Except for the fact that he had learned to compose before, they still knew nothing about his actual past.

This conclusion greatly stimulated Qin Haiou's curiosity.He suspected that the reason Tan Shuo told Liu Yang was not true.Why did Tan Shuo switch to selling rice noodles?Is it because you can't write good works, you can't get recognition, or because you have lost your creative inspiration and enthusiasm, you can't write works anymore?Has he really stopped writing?If it is true, why did he choose a career that has nothing to do with music?Does he also have some secrets to keep from others? ...

Qin Haiou realized that the unknown part of Tan Shuo was much bigger than he thought before.But it is not his way to get to the bottom of it. He will not rush to ask about things that others are unwilling to disclose, regardless of the other party's feelings.

He thought and thought, and finally picked out the two most basic questions.He felt that if it was these two questions, Tan Shuo would not mind telling him the answer.

So he asked: "Which school did you study composition? What year did you graduate?"

Sure enough, Tan Shuo didn't try to be perfunctory, and directly said the name and year of the school.

Qin Haiou was very pleasantly surprised: "You and my senior brother are alumni, only one class higher than him!"

"Really!" Tan Shuo laughed.

"His name is Xiao Cong, do you know him?" Qin Haiou said.

Tan Shuo recalled: "I know this person, but I'm not familiar with him."

"I'll introduce you when I have a chance!" Qin Haiou said.

Tan Shuo nodded, and mentioned another matter: "I think you didn't handle it well enough in the 'La Er' you played just now."

"Where?" Qin Haiou listened attentively.

Tan Shuo thought for a while and said: "You played too fast at that place, I think it should be a little slower and more powerful... I have to read the score to explain the specific position and reason to you."

At this time, the inn and rice noodle shop were already in sight.When the two saw it, neither of them was in the mood to discuss any more, and they both went straight to lunch.