[European style] The truth

From the moment I first met Luca, I think I fell in love with him subconsciously.Although at that time I hadn't discovered my nature in this area.

He was an enchanting boy, and I daresay no one in the world captivated me more.He was tall, handsome, and melancholy, as everyone had described him, with short black curly hair like a Roman statue, and a perfectly contoured face like a god in an ancient Greek statue.

The summer of turning 19 was the most amazing time of my life.We met in California that July, and we were filming "Phoenix" together. We played lovers on the set, we kissed and made out at the home of the play, we chatted at the hotel we stayed at, and we chased and fought in the open space outside Moreno Valley... …I admit that I lack patience and loyalty to Ashley, but I love Luca so much.

In between breaks, I began to test Luca with tricks used by the main character in the play, but to my disappointment he didn't understand my real intentions and took it all as a joke.In the end, we became close friends. Under my tireless harassment, he finally changed from a silent boy at the beginning to a young man with flesh and blood.I will follow wherever he is.At that time, there was even a saying on the set: "When you can't find Danny, just find out where Luka is!"

As October approached and all the scenes were wrapped, I ignored the messages on my phone that Ashley sent me every 10 minutes to reunite with her in LA, and sent Luca every 5 minutes message, and asked him to take me to my home in Sacramento to play.

"Luca, you know I grew up with a vision of the West. The cowboys, the desert, the sun, the beach...everything is so fascinating! I've traveled between New York and California no less than a hundred times, but my knowledge of it is limited to Hollywood and Los Angeles. I swear I won't make jokes, say things I shouldn't say, or get into trouble I shouldn't. I'll be quieter than a mute, quieter than an amputee! If you want Take me to Sacramento." I babbled to him like an anxious and helpless suitor.

"But you said that Ashley can't wait for you to go back. I think a partner should be more important than a friend." Luka calmly found a reason to reject me.

"I've already discussed it with her, she respects my dream! So, please!" I even added a few crying expressions at the end of the sentence, but the corners of my mouth raised unconsciously. I knew that in this way, He couldn't say no to me.

"...Okay. Let's go tomorrow then."

Although Luka didn't notice my love, or knew my love but turned a blind eye to it-I didn't dare to think about this possibility, and every time I thought about it, my heart was broken, but I still walked into his childhood life. home and contacted his closest family members.His family's house was a gray building on 42nd Street—perhaps it had been white the day it was built.In short, the shutters of the house, which had obviously been weathered for decades, were corroded and chipped, and the Stars and Stripes hanging over the door were clouded as if by a sandstorm.I have never seen such a dirty house.

Luca lowered his head in shame, knocked lightly on the door, and shouted: "Mom, I'm back." Soon, the door was opened with a "creak", and with the noise of being in disrepair, the door was opened. The faces of two women behind the door.The door was opened by a tall, middle-aged Caucasian woman, about 50 years old, with a blue apron tied around her waist, who appeared to be cooking.She must have been a beauty when she was young, as can be seen from the contours of her face and features.But no amount of expensive foundation or concealer could cover the deep, criss-crossing wrinkles on her face carved by the years.

"Oh, Luca!" Mrs. Coster beamed, and the wrinkles on her face deepened.She hugged her son tightly, and it took a few seconds to realize the fact that the apron was stained with oil, and immediately bounced off her son, but the smile on her face couldn't stop blooming for a long time.Her hands kept wiping the apron, wondering where it would fit best.At this moment, she saw me standing behind Luca, and greeted enthusiastically, "This is Danny, right? Come in, I'm baking bread for you!"

"Welcome, Danny." The young woman behind Mrs. Coster gave me a friendly smile.Truth be told, she is a very beautiful lady, wearing the latest fashion clothes and doing the makeup that the YouTube beauty bloggers highly recommend.With just a camera, she can appear in tomorrow's fashion show, "I'm Luca's sister, Julie."

I swear, Mrs. Coster is the most beautiful and kindest woman in all of Sacramento, no, all of California, no, all of the American West.She understood all my jokes exactly, and she affirmed my acting skills without hesitation.Her hospitality is exemplary throughout America and her bread is the best in the world!

"I have a question. When is Mr. Coster coming back?" This question was the downfall of my entire visit!But I really didn't understand clearly in advance, which makes me regret to this day.

The air on the dining table suddenly froze, and the joyous atmosphere just now was replaced by a long silence.After a long time, Luca replied in a low voice: "My father passed away when I was 13 years old."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I..." I wanted to shoot myself for asking that stupid question!

"It's okay, let's continue talking about it, Danny. About the school in New York..." Fortunately, Mrs. Coster saw my embarrassment and rescued me in time.

After knowing this truth, I pity and cherish poor Luca even more.I want him to know that besides his mother and sister, I am the only person who loves him wholeheartedly in this world.I wanted to be his lover, his protector, his companion, and I wanted to live with him until we were old and dead decades later.

After a week in Sacramento, we took the opportunity to attend a charity gala in California, also in response to Ashley, by going to her house to celebrate her birthday.By now, I must admit that I owe Ashley an apology - I even went so far as to make fun of my then-girlfriend at the dinner table in order to show my love to Luca.I belittled her viciously while giving Luca's family all the compliments I could.As expected, Ashley was angry.The party that day ended badly.

I was going to write off our relationship just like that, but my agent asked me to reconcile with her because we have a public responsibility to act "proper relationship" so I had to edit A tedious message to her - I don't even want to call her.And she agreed to my request to get back together, and we were once again in the spotlight as a young couple in love.

But my heart is already hanging on Luca anyway.After torturing each other for more than three months, she finally took the initiative to break up on the grounds that she was unwilling to love someone who didn't love her.After resuming being single, I feel relaxed all over, and even walk with a brisk pace.

Soon, the post-production of "Phoenix" will end and the film will be finalized, which also means that the promotion period will begin.For 30 days, Luca and I traveled between premieres, road shows, film festivals, and flew almost all over the United States by plane.In order to create an authentic atmosphere, we are as close as possible in every scene: Whenever the press starts to take pictures, Luca hugs me tightly along my outer arm and gently comforts my elbow with his thumb knuckles, and I deliberately lean my head toward him with a well-placed, happy smile.

Our efforts were not in vain. The derivative culture about the two of us quickly spread on the Internet. We talked about love in articles written by fans, and cuddled in the paintings they drew.I don't know what Luca thinks about this, but my heart is literally bursting with joy!

At the same time, Luka's attitude towards me became more and more ambiguous.He got used to resting his head on my shoulder, even though he was almost a head taller than me.I stroked his jet-black curly hair tenderly, feeling as if I was touching one of the most exquisite sculptures in ancient Rome.God knows how much I love him!While he was asleep, I couldn't help but lightly kiss him on the top of his head.

On May 5th of that year, I remember it very clearly, because that day was the "International Day Against Homophobia". Many celebrities posted words of support for this group on ins, including my best friend John.Maybe he already saw my feelings for Danny, because almost no straight man will endlessly mention his ordinary friend all day long, unless he loves him.Luca and I were on a road show in Houston that night, and on the balcony of our hotel, Luca and I were chatting about some Texas landscapes.But all of a sudden, inspired by nowhere, I mustered up the courage and said out of nowhere: "Hey, Luca, I'm going to tell you a secret."

"what?"

"Today is 'International Day Against Homophobia'."

"I know. So what? You're going to tell me, are you actually gay?" Luca looked at me and laughed, making an unusual joke.But I noticed that his hand holding the cigarette was trembling, as if he had heard some unbelievable news.My brow is sweating, what if he's a homophobe?What if he hates me?But I have to take a gamble, if I don't seize this opportunity, maybe I will never be able to speak in the future!

"Yes." I admitted all this very simply, "and I'm already in love with a man."

"Who is it?" Luca took a deep puff on his cigarette. "I'm not a homophobe, so it doesn't matter."

"It's you, Luca." After saying this, I let out a long breath.I closed my eyes, and my mind turned rapidly. Maybe I can't be called a very devout Christian, but at this moment I think I can only turn to God for help.However, to my surprise, the silence around me lasted for a long time, so long that my curiosity overcame my fear.I opened my eyes, thinking that I must be seeing Luca's extremely shocked expression, but I was wrong, what was shown in front of my eyes was the affectionate gaze emitted from Luca's deep black eyes.

I immediately rushed up and tiptoed to kiss him, and tightly wrapped my arms around his neck, for fear that the boy in front of me would run away from me.The moonlight fell on us, casting two entangled figures on the wall like lights in a stage play.At this moment, this place belongs only to us.Someone might catch us kissing, but I don't care, all I want is Luka.

True love makes my life colorful and fun.We enjoy the interactive part of every press conference, and we are keen to interact on social software, leaving endless reverie for fans, and we do all the intimate actions as good friends.What excites me even more is that in the second year's Oscars, "Phoenix" won four awards in one fell swoop, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor and Best Adapted Screenplay.Although I lost the competition among the nominees for the Best Supporting Actor award, my Luca won the Best Actor Award at the age of 22. You know, he became the youngest Oscar winner ever. Best Actor Award Winner!I am so proud of him.

It didn't last long, and shortly after we fell in love and achieved great success, Luca's mom was diagnosed with cancer.I went with him to visit her in Sacramento, and Mrs Coster was as friendly as ever.Jolie is married and gave birth to a healthy baby boy three months ago.The coming and passing of life always go hand in hand.

To calm him down, I offered him a suggestion: "Would you like to see the real Phoenix?"

Next, we spent an unforgettable week in Arizona.During that time, I had him call me "Alan" and I called him "Jeremy," like our characters in the film.We raced on the wide road, let the hot sun shine on us through the tall palm trees; we walked in the garden full of cacti and prickly pears, looked up at the unpredictable clouds in the sky; Swim in the colorful rooftop pool, have sex on the soft bed in the suite, love... I feel my love for Luca grows exponentially every day, I even want to make our relationship public, I want to be in the eyes of everyone, to everyone Say: "I'm Lucas Coster's boy!"

In October, Luca's new film, "Dwayne's Funeral," was released.In between the hectic promotional period, he made a point of finding time to date me during the NYC road show.We bought late-night movie tickets, put on masks and hats, put on the same black sweater, and went to the theater to watch the movie.Before watching this movie, I never imagined that my silent and melancholy poet would play an optimistic and cheerful doctor who is keen to tell all kinds of inexplicable jokes.Luca's performance is truly amazing!I'm completely mesmerized by what's in it and can't wait to kiss my lover.So after walking out of the theater, I stopped Luca, ripped off each other's masks, held his face and kissed him hard.After a long and affectionate lingering, they separated.

The next day, I was inundated with a barrage of calls and messages.To be honest, I was completely oblivious to my surroundings, and if I had known that there were two paparazzi lurking within 100 meters of us, I would never have kissed my Luca there anyway!But it was too late, and every entertainment program was constantly playing "Daniel Letts late night date with Lucas Coster", "So they are also gay?" and so on.Even Ashley was brought to the fore: Reporters used their fertile imaginations to spot “Lucas Coster is a relationship buster” from her dismissive expression.

"Don't worry, Luka, I'll take care of everything. They didn't take your full-face photo, so we have every reason to deny it." I reassured him on the phone, "As long as I admit that I'm bisexual, everything will be fine. calmed down."

In the end, my team came forward to declare my bisexuality, and insisted that the man, my boyfriend, was just an ordinary person and hoped that the outside world would not bother him.And Luca also stated that he has nothing to do with this matter, but that "the two people happen to be similar."All in all, although there are still many doubts, this peachy storm has finally subsided.

However, when I contacted Luca again, he replied with a few cold words: "Let's cut off contact for now, Danny."

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.I don't believe my Luca would say this without a reason, there must be a reason for it!Maybe he was bullied by his company so he could get out of there and work with me; maybe he was scorned by his fans, homophobic people don't want it... all difficulties can be overcome, can't they?

"My mother, she knows about us." He took a deep breath and continued, "She's a devout Catholic and has cancer, so..."

"I see." I was silent for half a minute before answering with a trembling voice.I hit the call end button and collapsed on the couch.Yes, I have imagined countless possibilities, but this is the only thing I forgot.My respected and beloved Mrs. Coster herself ordered her son to cut off all contact with me.

I don't want to recall that painful time, and I pray to the moonlight every night, hoping that our love will last as long as the eternal moon.I began to change from a frivolous young man to a faithful believer. Although my wishes were contrary to the fundamental principles, I believed that the merciful God would forgive me.Like Mrs. Hall next door, I go to church three times a week, and pray with the most sincere heart every time.Before I knew it, I became the most devout believer in my family.

Maybe there were so many people asking God for help that he forgot about me, maybe I wasn't sincere enough to move him, in short, the miracle I expected didn't happen to me.Instead, I got a call from him.

"Luka? How's it going?" I asked with mock ease. "How's Mrs. Coster?"

"So-so," he replied. "My mother's condition is stable. The doctor says she has about six months to live."

"I'm sorry, Luca, I..." God, I've asked a stupid question again and again!I panicked all of a sudden, not knowing what to say next to save the situation.

"It's okay, Danny." Luka chuckled.It's been a long time since I've heard him laugh, or even hear his voice say, "Look, Danny, I'm calling you to ask you something."

"A request? For what?" I asked in a questioning tone.In fact, my heart was beating so hard it was literally jumping out of my chest.

"Let's break up officially." Luka's words were flat and short, as if this matter was as simple as going out to take out the trash in his heart.

"Okay." I guessed that he was going to say this a long time ago, and I answered him simply and neatly, just like when I answered Ashley's request to break up, "God bless you."

"Bless you too." After finishing speaking, he hung up the phone, and endless "beeps" came from the receiver.

But I held the phone in a daze for a long time, perhaps as long as an hour.During that time, I played all the pictures of us together over the years in my mind in order. I believe that this movie that belongs to us is performed exactly as written in the script in terms of content, and all the plots are trickle down. Not leaking.

That was the last time I had contact with Luca, I mean, personally.Over the next two years, we still occasionally saw each other at film festivals or benefit galas; otherwise, I sent him wishes every Christmas, Easter, and his birthday.But my understanding of him stopped abruptly. After that, I only heard about his recent situation from John or Larry. Even the fact that he suffered from depression was after I watched the news last year. I just found out.

Then I heard that Larry asked him to do Bitter Winter again, and the new actor he was working with was also named Danny—Daniel Bridges, which is really a coincidence, isn’t it?Thank him for speaking out about Luca's plight.In fact, after reading the article you wrote, I only know what Luca has experienced in the past two years.

The day I heard the news that Luca had hanged himself, I was on the set of a new film I was taking on.In between shoots, I got a call from John.He told me that Luca was dead.

As God testifies, the moment I heard the news, I felt nothing in my heart, as if the call had never been answered by me.I just calmly replied "Oh, I see" and hung up the phone, just as decisive as Luca two years ago.Coincidentally, the next sequence that will be filmed is the scene where my character is crying in front of the camera, I probably can use the award to prove that I am an actor who can control emotions freely and can easily enter the state of the character , but this performance was so fast that it even exceeded my own expectations-when the camera turned to my face, I burst into two hot tears almost at the same time, and I couldn't stop it.The director said that my face was like two rivers flowing.

I don't know why, that was the first time I couldn't control my emotions.But this actually brought an unexpected authenticity to my performance, and the audience wanted to believe that this was the protagonist's genuine expression.

In fact, during that 3-minute crying segment, I only had one name on my mind, and it was enough to bring tears to my eyes: Luca.