underground river

Ten years ago, there was a big river in Dongshi County.At that time, the river was clear and full, and it ran quietly around the small town every day.Across the river is a cemetery. People here believe in "the other side" and believe that after death, the body needs to be buried on the other side of the river, so that the soul can reach the other side and be redeemed.

Chen Sen's father was buried there.

It was when I was in the first and second grades of elementary school, my father was in distress while working outside, and he sent back a suicide note with the slightly smelly corpse.The mother locked herself in the house all night. At night, he went to the mourning hall to see his father, with pale skin and blue lips, lying stiffly in that small coffin.

Suddenly the wind picked up.

He was trembling with fright, all the ghost movies and ghost stories he had watched rushed into his mind, and his mother appeared quietly, hugged him in her arms, and didn't speak, but he knew that she was very, very sad.

"Mom, is Dad dead?" he asked.

The mother held back the crying with difficulty.

Then he knew that his father was dead, utterly dead.

When a person dies, there is nothing left. Over the years, slowly, the traces you left in this world during your lifetime will be erased bit by bit.Life is an ironic joke. If the ending is doomed, shouldn't all the pain and joy in the process be taken lightly?

This is a question he has been thinking about since he was very young.

Later, time washed away all his memories. If he didn't deliberately look at the photos, he could hardly remember his father's appearance.

His upbringing lacked the teachings of absolute masculinity, but he still grew into what his mother expected him to be—laughing, sunny, athletic, smart, and eager to mischief like any boy his age.Even though he wasn't really interested in it.

When he first realized that he was different from other boys, he was at a loss.This "different" made him feel ashamed instinctively.So he began to think about the question that had been shelved for many years - if the ending is doomed, is there any point in struggling during the process?

If it is meaningful, is it to satisfy everyone, or to satisfy oneself?

If the ending is doomed, is the pain and joy, torment and sorrow brought about by all struggles just an illusion?If the answer is yes, then how can people convince themselves that they are actually living in the illusion without losing confidence in life?

He couldn't find an answer, and finally came to only one conclusion—death is the truth.

Grandpa was the only one around him for the last 5 minutes before his death, and everyone withdrew.He knelt down and stroked the old man's blotchy, bony hand.Grandpa called him: "Xiao Mori."

It was as if the pause button had been pressed suddenly in the world, and all the pictures were swept back at a high speed. Chen Sen looked back, and there was a vast expanse of whiteness behind him. He and his grandfather seemed to be standing in the center of the boundless place of heaven and earth.

"Xiao Mori, the human heart is so big, you can't hide too many things. If there are too many things, your heart will sink, and you will not be able to stand up. At first you can walk with your back arched, but later you can only walk on your knees. In the end, if you can't walk, you can only lie down. You are still young, so you have to live well, at least until your grandfather's age before reunion, okay?"

"it is good."

The old man looked a little tired. Chen Sen held him with his fingertips against his pulse, and he could clearly feel the signs of his life gradually draining away.

The old man suddenly let out an "eh", and a little light gathered in his cloudy eyeballs.He tugged at Chen Sen's hand, and said in a chaotic voice, "Your grandma is here."

Chen Sen followed him and asked, "Is grandma wearing that cheongsam?"

"Well, there is also a magnolia flower, she looks like a young girl."

Grandpa raised his hand tremblingly, and stretched his hands forward, exerting a little force on his upper body, as if he was going to hold someone's hand.

Chen Sen suddenly let go.

"Lan'er, this is the eldest grandson, you have never seen it before." Grandpa turned his head to look at him with a kind face. "Xiao Mori has someone he likes. I've met them all. He's also a good boy. He's a good-looking kid. He's a good match for our grandson."

The joints of the clenched fist turned white.

The next second was covered by warm palms: "Grandpa told you before, no, don't do this. But now grandpa is leaving, if there is one more person who loves you in this world, no matter if it's a man or a woman, grandpa All welcome."

"Don't be afraid, child."

The wrinkled eyelids closed slowly, and the warm palm patted his hand for the last time.

The blood all over Chen Sen's body froze. His mother walked in and hugged him like ten years ago.

"Mom, is grandpa dead?" he asked.

Chen Sen heard her sobbing "Hum".

The whole world suddenly fell apart.

"Chen Sen?"

When he turned his head, the falling ash accidentally burned his fingers, and his eyelashes trembled slightly.

Si Nan ran up to him, gasping for breath.

"When did you come back?"

"Last night. I was too sleepy..." As he spoke, he stretched a lot, and even yawned out of tune.

"Is everything at home...all taken care of?"

"Ah."

Si Nan looked at his listless look, and then thought about Guan Yan's description of his performance in the past two days, wishing he could carry him back to bed immediately.

"It's going to be the weekend, why are you running here? Anyone with dark circles can make relatives with pandas."

"I want to see you."

The five light words, as if wrapped in silk, wrapped someone up in one fell swoop.

Si Nan stayed there for a few seconds. During these few seconds, he tore apart the five words, crushed them, and rolled them over his heart, making his heart feel slightly hot.

He couldn't find anything to say, so he glanced here and there, and landed on Chen Sen's right leg: "When will this thing be disassembled?"

"It's still half a month."

"Oh."

Nothing to say.

He was speechless again.

"What class did you run away from?"

"English lesson."

"So are you going back to class?"

"get out of class will be over soon."

"Oh."

Chen Sen's "oh" successfully made him laugh.

Si Nan rubbed his nose: "I'll take you home."

Chen Sen: "I can't walk."

Simon: "I'll carry you on my back."

Chen Sen: "Will being seen by school girls damage my tall image?"

Simon: "..."

Si Nan was walking on campus with him on his back, and Chen Sen kindly reminded him: "We are leaving early, can you stop walking the Lord's way so openly?" He muttered, "It's the first time I saw him as thin as a bamboo pole. what……"

Simon: "What?"

"It's nothing." Chen Sen patted his thick shoulder, "I tell you to walk faster, don't go around in circles, this get out of class is not over yet, where are the girls? What do you believe..."

Simon: "..."

Oh.

dorm room.

Guan Yan said "Okay" and threw the phone on the table. Xu Xu was tearing down the sheets when he heard the sound and turned around: "What's wrong?"

"Sinan said he's sending Lao Chen back first." He sat down, and the more he thought about it, the more weird he felt. "Old Xu, don't you think it's a little strange?"

"What's so strange?" Xu Xu looked helpless and asked back with little confidence.

"When did Lao Chen come back? I don't know why? I don't know when Sinan went out. I always feel that something is weird..." Guan Yan snorted as he spoke, and began to spit sour bubbles , "Chen Sen, this bastard, I have been brothers with him for so many years, and he was abducted in the blink of an eye! Love the new and dislike the old, scumbag!"

Xu Xu's heart trembled when he yelled at him. The hand that removed the bed sheet hesitated again and again, and finally grabbed it hard, and turned his head: "Do you feel that..."

"what?"

"Forget it, nothing."

"Speak up if you have something to say! Do you also think that the two of them are too disrespectful? They still have a small group!" Guan Yan was angry and wanted to draw Xu Xu into his camp.

Xu Xu opened his mouth again and again but couldn't find a suitable explanation, and finally reminded him very tactfully: "It seems that spring is here?"

"Huh?" Guan Yan was bewildered. "And then? Spring is here, and the little swallows are all wearing new clothes?"

"..."

Xu Xu decided to give up.

At the end of March, Chen Sen's legs were almost healed.

On the day when I went to the hospital to remove the plaster, several people went there. Guan Yan held the removed plaster covered with graffiti, and said to Chen Sen silly: "I have to leave this to my son, and it will be the family heirloom of our old Guan family in the future." .”

Chen Sen: "How much hatred does your son have against you?"

Guan Yan: "What do you know? I am here to warn future generations, don't be a hero like his uncle, thinking that you are Su Penman?"

Chen Sen's disgusted eyebrows frowned: "Can you still use your accent?"

Guan Yan: "Pen Naike. Hmph!"

It happened to be April Fool's Day on Friday, the second class was over, the radio station announced that it would be closed today, and deliberately emphasized three times that it was not a lie.Chen Sen didn't go in through the back door after using the toilet, but walked through the front door. On the way, he ran into Lin Shu who had just come back from the teacher's office. In the classroom, put the homework on the podium, and then yelled in Sinan's direction: "Sinan, Mr. Qiu asked you to find him in the office."

Si Nan didn't suspect him, so he got up and went out.

Chen Sen got off the podium with a smile, while Guan Yan smiled treacherously, like a cat stealing fish.

Lin Shu stopped Chen Sen with question marks in his head: "How do you know Mr. Qiu is looking for him?"

Chen Sen wanted to remind her that it's April Fool's Day, but seeing Lin Shu's expression was a bit wrong, he hesitated, "Mr. Qiu really looking for him?"

Lin Shu nodded: "It seems that because of the 'Poetry Festival', President Qiu wants him to be the leader of the recitation."

Chen Sen: "..."

Guan Yan: "..."

"Report."

"Come in."

Sinan walked to Mr. Qiu's desk. The latter had just finished correcting the last weekly test paper. He raised his head from the pile of papers and glanced at Sinan with a slightly relaxed expression.

"Sinan, you did well in the weekly test this time. Generally speaking, your grades have improved much faster than when you first entered school." Mr. Qiu talked with him about the study of various subjects as usual, and then started He fumbled for a few pieces of paper on the desk and handed them to him. "Look at this."

"Poetry Festival?" Sinan glanced at Mr. Qiu, feeling bad instinctively.

"Well, you performed very well at the gala last time, and everyone was very impressed with you!" Mr. Qiu turned his body slightly and faced him, "This poetry festival has added a new competition, my suggestion is, Lin Shu Take the lead in organizing the rehearsal, and you will be the leader of the recitation, what do you think?"

"Not very much." Sinan replied without thinking.

As soon as the words fell, I felt a few more intense gazes on my body.

There was no sound in the office. Sinan was determined this time not to be in the limelight anymore, and he was well prepared in his heart. Even if Mr. Qiu said to break the sky, he would not agree.Unexpectedly, Mr. Qiu nodded his head and said, "That's fine. If you don't want to, then you don't have to force it."

He was a little dazed, and asked in disbelief, "Really?"

"Really!" Mr. Qiu smiled slightly, and suddenly changed the subject, "By the way, when you return to the classroom, tell your classmates that we will cancel the half-hour break before evening self-study and change it to Classroom self-study, I personally supervise!" The man had a righteous face and serious eyes. "I heard that the other two key classes have been cancelled. You are about to enter the third year of high school, so you have to get nervous. What about basketball? Don't play for now. What do you think?"

Simon: "..."

He felt a pain in the ass.

Mr. Qiu looked at him with a smile, and made it clear that this was a deal - the break time would not be canceled if he participated, and everyone would have a bad time if he did not participate.

Because of the painful experience in the past, Guan Yan specially reminded himself on April Fool's Day that "everything Chen Sen said is bullshit, don't believe a single word", but unexpectedly he didn't go anywhere, just sat on the seat It was also rectified.

"When school is over, don't forget to go to the canteen and pay Sister Li." Chen Sen reminded him again.

Guan Yan stared at him with hatred.

About 10 minutes ago, Chen Sen asked him to go to the canteen together. Guan Yan was suspicious of fraud, and refused to go no matter what, Chen Sen took Xu Xu there, and came back with a lot of food and drink after a while , and gave him a lot.

Guan Yan was terrified, always feeling that the food was poisonous.After he finished handling a bag of potato chips, Chen Sen patted him on the shoulder and said, "Thank you."

Guan Yan's dazed look while biting on potato chips was so funny, Xu Xu couldn't hold back his spit out, and kindly explained to him: "Chen Sen told Sister Li that it's your birthday today, and everyone is invited to eat, and you will be credited on the head."

Guan Yan was so regretful that he almost vomited out.

Just as he was speaking, Sinan came back, Chen Sen threw a bag of potato chips over, and smiled badly: "Yanzi's 'birthday' treat, you're welcome."

Si Nan also looked at Guan Yan in a daze: "Is your birthday today?"

Guan Yan: "..."

Xu Xu held his stomach and nearly died laughing.

Chen Sen turned his head to look at Si Nan: "Why does Mr. Qiu want you?"

Si Nan shook the two pieces of paper in his hand: "Poetry Festival."

Chen Sen didn't ask any more questions.

Si Nan returned to his seat. After the fuss just now, he suddenly remembered that Chen Sen's birthday seemed to be coming. The last time Guan Yan said it seemed to be around the Grain Rain in the lunar calendar?

The phone vibrated slightly in his trouser pocket, and Sinan took it out. It was a message from Miao Ran.

-I like you.

What the hell?