underground river

The north wind blew in gusts, Si Nan pulled the zipper of his jacket to the top lock and bit it in his mouth, and rode his bicycle against the wind amidst the red chips all over the ground and the deafening sound of firecrackers. After chasing and throwing several thunderbolts, there was a crackling sound behind them.

"Grandma, I bought the fermented glutinous rice."

Sinan parked the car and walked towards the kitchen with his bag in hand.

Grandma took the bag of fermented glutinous rice and fed him a piece of sausage.

"Fragrant." Si Nan smiled, and turned his head just in time to meet Si Zhen who was chopping vegetables, and his expression suddenly became a little uncomfortable.

"There is something on the shoulder." Si Zhen said.

Si Nan tilted his head to take a look, and there were a few scraps of cannon paper on his shoulders.

"Oh." He waved his hand and patted it off.

Grandma sent him out: "Stay outside, have lunch soon."

"Oh."

In the side hall, Chang Jian was playing chess with the neighbor's uncle, and Si Nan walked around the yard a few times in boredom, and took out his phone to check the chat group.

Xu Xu posted a picture of fishing in the morning, and he and Guan Yan chatted in the group for a while, during which Chen Sen didn't move at all, and he hasn't said a word until now.

This feels a little weird.

Sinan took the phone and opened it, locked it, locked it and unlocked it, and finally sent a text message to Chen Sen asking him what he was doing.

Until lunch, Chen Sen didn't reply to his message.

He was absent-minded throughout the meal.

After dinner, Sinan rushed to wash the dishes, went back to the house and lay down on the bed, and spent a long time texting on his mobile phone, feeling indescribably lost.

There was a knock on the door.

Si Nan scrambled up and stuffed his phone into his pocket.

Si Zhen walked in carrying several big bags.

"I bought you some clothes."

The woman opened her pockets one by one, revealing an off-white cashmere sweater, a pure black coat with a stand-up collar, and a pair of cropped slacks.

"Try?"

Sinan took off his coat and put on a new coat.

Si Zhen nodded with satisfaction, "It looks good."

"Pants……"

"I'll try it myself." Sinan said hastily.

"Well, it's not appropriate to tell me, I'll exchange it." After Si Zhen explained, she turned and left.

Si Nan retreated to the side of the bed and sat down, finding that it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to look at this woman with the same mood as before.

In the afternoon, grandma moved out the Four Treasures of the Study and placed them in the yard, and Zhang Luosinan came over to write a couplet.

He didn't hesitate at all, he just came with a pen.

Chang Jian stood in the yard with Si Zhen in his arms, smiling as he watched his mother-in-law and grandson discuss calligraphy there.

"very nice."

Si Zhen looked at him and smiled.

"A little further to the left, a little higher, hey, that's right!" Chang Jian slapped his hands.

Si Nan pasted up the couplets, hung up the lanterns, and took out his phone to take another look. Except for the blessing text messages from Xu Xu, Guan Yan and some classmates in the class, Chen Sen still didn't hear anything.

There was a large table of chicken, duck and fish for the New Year's Eve dinner. The Chang family was thin, and the atmosphere on New Year's Eve was not as strong as that of other families. Grandma wiped her tears while eating, and began to recall the glorious past.Si Nan was coaxing and persuading, while the other two adults at the table sat beside them with smiles and watched, as if watching the excitement.

In addition to the big fish and meat New Year's Eve dinner, another strong proof of the Chinese New Year is the Spring Festival Gala.

After dinner, grandma and Chang Jian were sitting in the living room watching TV, Si Zhen was cutting fruit in the kitchen, Si Nan couldn't sit still, and ran to the yard to call Chen Sen.

Called, but no one picked up.

Si Nan called Guan Yan again, but this time he answered it very quickly.

Guan Yan was too noisy, Si Nan covered one ear and pressed the phone to his face, so he could barely hear what he was saying.

"Chen Sen? I don't know either! I sent him a message and he didn't reply to me." Guan Yan muttered, and suddenly yelled again, as if his feet were blown by a child with a cannon.

"Damn a bunch of brats!"

Si Nan laughed out loud.

Guan Yan said that his grandmother gave birth to six daughters and one son. His father grew up among women, but he was not as temperamental as Jia Baoyu, he was very hot.At a time like this, it is naturally a room full of women, children and old men, and the lively scene is probably comparable to a gala.

Guan Yan seemed to have changed places, and the background sounded less noisy.

"I heard from my mother that if Old Chen's grandfather is going to die, the family is probably in a mess now so he didn't take care of us."

"Do you know where his hometown is?" Sinan asked.

Guan Yan reported the address and said, "Why don't we go over there sometime? I'll ask Xu Xu if he has time."

"to make."

After hanging up the phone, Sinan felt a little uneasy, and went back to the living room to watch the Spring Festival Gala with his grandma, feeling extremely sleepy.

He stayed until twelve o'clock, and after setting off the firecrackers, grandma let him go back to sleep.

But as soon as he lay down on the bed, he woke up. He was still sleepy, but he couldn't fall asleep anyway. All he could think about was Chen Sen.

Sinan put the mobile phone to his ear and dialed Chen Sen's number. He continued to call when no one answered. He didn't know how many times he called. He was a little mechanically active when he called, and suddenly a "Hello" came from the receiver.

Lingtai is suddenly clear.

Si Nan sat up suddenly, holding his mobile phone and feeding him several times in succession.

"I heard you, what are you shouting about?"

Chen Sen's voice was hoarse and heavy.

Sinan's breathing slowed down: "You startled me by answering the phone suddenly."

Chen Sen chuckled, and that laughter was also rough, revealing exhaustion: "If I don't answer you again, I should turn off my mobile phone."

Simon felt a little uncomfortable, but luckily it wasn't face to face.

"What are you doing? Are you... busy at home?"

"Well, I was taking care of my grandfather in the hospital, and he was critically ill three times in one night."

Chen Sen's tone was very calm, but Si Nan didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry too much, there is a doctor here."

Dry.

"Ah."

The scene quieted down for a while.

Si Nan stared at the sheets with his mobile phone in a daze.

He slept on an old-fashioned wooden bed, which creaked when he turned over.

The air conditioner was working tirelessly, his heart beat suddenly a little faster, and he stared blankly at the big peony flower on the bed sheet, as if he was about to make a hole.

finally--

"Can I come to you?"

……

……

Time anxiously consumes people's hearts, like pulling a saw, Sinan gradually arched his body and buried his head in his knees.

He knew that Chen Sen was about to speak, but he suddenly resisted what he was about to hear.

He regretted it, regretted making this call, it was so boring, why did he do such a thing.

A "OK" came from the receiver.

Si Nan was neither happy nor sad, his heart was full of remorse.

Ask again: "Do you know the place?"

"Guan Yan told me." He subconsciously blurted out.

To a certain extent, knowing without too much explanation made the scene quiet again.

Emotional cowardice made him suddenly have a trace of fear.

But Chen Sen didn't know whether he was too tired or something, so he gave up this excellent opportunity to tease him.Just say: "Call me when you arrive, and I will pick you up."

The phone hangs up.

Si Nan lay back on the bed with his head swollen, his heart still beating fast.

The idea that he had snuffed out one morning had revived like a prairie fire, with a force far beyond what he could have imagined.The feeling of being derailed from this world, like being alone in the boundless wilderness, struck again.

No fun, everything.Simon thought.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, he was a little dazed, and after lying on the bed for a long time in the original position, he realized that the beating sound he heard in a daze came from the opened wooden panes in the room.

Si Nan got out of bed and walked to the window.

How could the window be open?

He stood there thinking for half an hour, and finally made his hair stand on end.

He dug out the cigarette case from his backpack, opened it, and it was empty.

Sinan put on his coat and went out, came to the main room, and took out a pack of Zhonghua cigarettes from the TV cabinet.

The flames are strong.

He tilted his head and took a puff, the sound of burning tobacco was delightful.

There should have been a light rain at night, and the bluestone slab was wet.

Si Nan walked towards the backyard, moved his ears, and heard the sound of chanting from afar.

In the small room, butter lamps flickered brightly.

The gray-haired old woman knelt on the futon with her back straight, facing a statue of a god.

He kept chanting something in his mouth.

Si Nan recalled that time when he went to the temple with Xu Xu and the others.

The door was not closed securely.

Holding the cigarette between his fingers, he leaned against the door frame, looking at the statue through the narrow door crack.

The old woman's voice was full and affirmative, as if she was doing a job that had been going on for decades, and the devout figure reflected by the flames seemed to have divinity.

Si Nan felt drowsy when he heard it, he pinched off his cigarette and walked back.

The sky was dark blue, he went back to the room and closed the window, stared blankly for a while, and started to pack his things.Wallets, keys, chargers, earphones... many trivial and messy little things were stuffed into the black backpack.

He lay back on the bed again.

It is on the edge of the city, but not far from the city.

His psychology is contradictory.On the one hand, he wanted to see Chen Sen very much, on the other hand, because he felt the shame and self-judgment of his inner desire, he instinctively wanted to escape and was very resistant to take action.

It stayed like this until the fourth day of the Lunar New Year. On the way away from grandma's house in the afternoon, Sinan received a call from Guan Yan, saying that Xu Xu had entered the city. They planned to visit Chen Sen's hometown and asked him if he wanted to come together.

He forgave himself almost instantly, as if he had found some strong and powerful support in his heart.

When he got home, Sinan took a shower and changed his clothes. He had already packed his things, said hello to Chang Jian, and hurried to the station.

It was Dongshi County that arrived late at night.

The exits are full of soliciting drivers and small hotel owners, holding a small whiteboard with the word "accommodation" written on it.

Xu Xu tugged on the strap of his schoolbag and asked, "Should we find a place to live first? I didn't say hello to Chen Sen in advance, maybe he's still busy in the hospital now!"

Guan Yan nodded: "Let's find a place to live first, and then I'll ask Lao Chen if he's at home or in the hospital, so we won't be out of luck when the time comes."

In the end, Guan Yan found a hotel near Chen Sen's house, where he and Xu Xu shared a room, and Si Nan stayed in a room alone.

"It's convenient to live close, in case you meet someone who needs help." Guan Yanhua pulled the phone, frowning while talking, "Call him to turn off the phone!"

"Would you like to visit his house?" Sinan asked.

"Success, let's go."

Go out of the hotel gate, walk out of the alley, and then cross a road. The Chen family is in the alley across the road. Not far away, it is a small single-family house, which is quite beautifully built.

Guan Yan rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered, and looked up to see that the lights in the room were not on.

"Not at home..." Xu Xu worried.

"Do you know which hospital it is?" Sinan asked.

"I don't know which hospital it is, and he didn't tell me! But this county is so big, I think there is only a second-class hospital here, let's take a taxi directly and let the driver take us to the best hospital here, and then I'll ask again at the hospital!" Guan Yan had a "little case" expression on his face.

Si Nan patted him on the shoulder: "It's rare! It's a good brain."

"That's right! I've never been ashamed to show it, you know? A smart person like me usually waits until the critical moment... Hey, hey, you two listen to me!"

Si Nan and Xu Xu crossed their shoulders and turned around to leave. They even gave him the middle finger together, and Guan Yan shouted angrily from behind.

"Who?! Still escaping from reality!"

It didn't take much effort to find Grandpa Chen Sen's ward in the hospital.

Guan Yan glanced inside through the door and window, then turned her head: "Chen Sen is not here, Aunt Li is inside to accompany the bed!"

He glanced again: "It seems to be asleep."

Xu Xu lowered his voice: "Then why don't we visit again tomorrow morning?"

Guan Yan nodded and asked Sinan for his opinion.

Si Nan nodded in agreement.

The three of them walked towards the elevator, and when they passed the stairway door of the emergency exit, Si Nan glanced there, the door was closed with a gap.His heart beat suddenly and for no reason.

Si Nan stopped.

The author has something to say: Happy Zongzi Festival, neither the sweet party nor the salty party, a younger brother without party affiliation