The daily routine of being teased by a scholar

Some things really get more and more blocked the more you think about it, but now, whenever he thinks of Cai Zhan, Xu Huaiyang always feels an indescribable uneasiness and irritability in his heart.

Cai Zhan always wants to make perfect preparations for him.If you allow yourself to move forward without distraction, you will not be able to do it at all.

Brother Long lit a cigarette beside him, and the smoke was blown to his eyes by the wind, and then slowly drifted away.Xu Huaiyang stared blankly at the hazy smoke, and suddenly felt an inexplicable dull pain.

A dull pain in the heart.

"Where are you going now?" After a while, Brother Long turned to look at him, "I'll see you off."

Xu Huaiyang hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"Well, I'm going back to school," he said.

After sending Xu Huaiyang to school, Brother Long also found out about his staying in school during the summer vacation.Xu Huaiyang only told him that the school had something to do during the holidays and that it would be more convenient to live in the school.He repeatedly urged not to tell Cai Zhan about his stay in school.

But even if he said so, it is estimated that Cai Zhan would know.

Brother Long agreed with a haha, Yang Yang kicked his motorcycle and left.Xu Huaiyang looked at his back raising a cloud of dust, and suddenly felt that Cai Zhan was also amazing, always meeting all kinds of strange people.

Their living environments are very different. Xu Huaiyang is a lonely goldfish in a fish tank, and Cai Zhan is a little eagle born in a rainy night.

Kitty Hawk is wilder and stronger.Now it has just pulled out its wings and spread its wings, leaving the cold rain-soaked nest and looking for its own piece of sky.

But the water surface of the goldfish suddenly froze.

Xu Huaiyang went back to the dormitory to put his things away. There were only a dozen or so people staying in the whole building.At this time, I looked into the window of the dormitory opposite, and I could no longer see the shadow of Cai Zhan walking around.

The whole building was silent.

Time seemed to stand still, he made the bed little by little, and arranged the things on the bookshelf.Then I sat at the table, tore off a piece of paper, and made plans for my summer vacation.

Do homework, review, write manuscripts, eat, continue to review...

After I finished writing, I realized that there seems to be no plan for this summer vacation.Things seem to be repeated every day.

In an instant, Xu Huaiyang suddenly felt that he was beaten back to his previous state - the state of living a boring life for killing time in the past few years, and everything became a meaningless repetition.

It was very hot in the room, and the doors and windows were not open, which made people feel a little out of breath.

Xu Huaiyang was a little dazed. After gathering his mind, he pasted the timetable on the table, climbed into bed again, and pasted the outline test paper that could be reviewed before going to bed on the wall next to the pillow.

Clinging to each other, he suddenly pulled the corner of his mouth and smiled.

It's not that he doesn't accept Cai Zhan's affection at all, but that Cai Zhan's help really makes him feel very uncomfortable.

One is because I always feel that I am dragging his footsteps, and the other is because I can't spare my self-esteem.

Xu Huaiyang was in a bad mood, he was in a knot as if he had turned into a dead end, and he couldn't get out no matter what.He can't go to other places now, as long as he is close to his home and Cai Zhan's home, there is no guarantee that there will be no accidents.

It sucks.

Fang Mian's family was going on a trip during the summer vacation, but Xu Huaiyang forcibly pulled them out of the house the day before they left.

After all, Xu Huaiyang's income is still too little to save money in his pocket.The meal with Fang Mian was at the small restaurant in front of the school. When he was about to finish eating, Fang Mian stopped him and asked for a treat.

He watched Fang Mian go to the front desk to pay the bill without saying anything.Silently, he took out the cigarette that Brother Long had given him during the day from his pocket, went to the door and lit it.

From the moment I moved into the school dormitory, the symptoms of stuffiness and breathlessness in my heart have never been relieved.

As dusk gradually fell, Xu Huaiyang looked at the street in front of the school and felt the night breeze was so cool for the first time.

There are many small shops on this street: the "No. [-] Noodle in the World" where I ate with Cai Zhan, the small clinic that accompanied Cai Zhan for infusion when he had a fever, and the crayfish shop where Cai Zhan peeled shrimp for him... When he closed his eyes, he seemed to still be able to see the scene of two people riding bicycles across the road.

The wind of the summer night and the sky full of stars, including the figure of the young man, were all engraved in my mind accidentally.

"Are you smoking again?" After an unknown amount of time, Fang Mian came out of the restaurant and patted him on the shoulder.

Xu Huaiyang smiled, instead of extinguishing the cigarette as usual, he looked down at the street in front of him.

"It's the last one, and I can't afford to buy it again." He smiled.

Fang Mian frowned and said nothing.

After a while, Fang Mian hesitated: "Are you short of money recently? Or I..."

"No need." Xu Huaiyang clicked his tongue and interrupted him, "You can keep your own book of marrying a daughter-in-law, and give me a chance to experience the work-study life."

Fang Mian looked at him and smiled helplessly.

He knows Xu Huaiyang too well, Xu Huaiyang is so strong, so strong that he never fully expresses his difficulties, nor can he accept help from others with peace of mind.Xu Huaiyang can't see what other people dedicate to him. His long celibate life makes him have an instinctive fear of the word "dedication".

Even refusing to help is a tone of retaliation.

"Fang Mian, I want to jump out of the car."

Xu Huaiyang said quietly.

Fang Mian was stunned for five seconds before suddenly realizing what Xu Huaiyang meant - his dream.

——I walked on the Gobi Desert, I couldn't see the front and the back, and my eyes were full of endless sand and soil.

—a train goes by.I just ran and ran, caught up with it, and jumped on it.The car kept going forward, and the surrounding scenery didn't move. I kept driving, and I didn't know how long it would take.

——I thought there was someone in the car, but from the beginning to the end, there was no one.I thought there was a purpose, but Gobi is still Gobi, and I haven't been driving for a long time.

——Say, should I jump out of the car?

……

"Have you considered?"

I don't know how long it took before Fang Mian answered the question with some difficulty.

Xu Huaiyang has been silent, his silence is more terrifying than venting,

"I feel like I'm wasting my life," Xu Huaiyang said after a while, "wasting his and wasting mine—if there weren't so many things to think about, we could all live better."

Every word of Xu Huaiyang seemed to be squeezed out from between his teeth, with a sense of determination.

"It's not good for anyone. He can't move forward without worry...I have to keep reading, I'm afraid I won't pay what I owe." Xu Huaiyang took the last puff of cigarette, twisting on the nearby tree. Put out the cigarette butts.

Fang Mian didn't know what to say, so she could only stand silently with him.

"Am I being too selfish?" Xu Huaiyang smiled and looked at him.

"Did you tell him...?" Fang Mian lowered her head, looking at a brick on the ground, "Maybe he doesn't think so, and you don't need to pay me..."

"Fang Mian, you don't understand what I mean." Xu Huaiyang clicked his tongue and turned to stare at him, "I'm not so selfless that I don't feel like I can't drag him down, but I can't get over it myself. I'm wasting myself by being with him feeling, do you understand?"

Fang Mian opened his mouth, completely speechless.

After a long time, he squeezed out a sentence: "You can do it if you think it's right."

Xu Huaiyang glanced at him and sighed: "I don't think it's right, but I have no other choice."

……

Cai Zhan was woken up by Lu Yan's yelling. He looked up at the top of the piano in a daze. Next to the metronome was a small alarm clock bought at the ten-yuan store at the door. The alarm clock was pointing to seven o'clock in the evening. .

Lu Yan and the others came back from dinner, noisily sneaking into the piano room like a flock of ducks.

Cai Zhan originally wanted to practice for another hour and go to dinner at [-] o'clock, but he accidentally marked the score and fell asleep. When he woke up again, it was [-] o'clock in the evening.

He cleared his throat, and suddenly felt that there was something wrong in his throat, with a faint pain.Another glance at the side, probably forgot to close the window when he fell asleep.

Looks like I have a cold.

He couldn't finish the meal, and when he was about to get up and turn on the light to continue practicing the piano, he inadvertently glanced at the mobile phone placed on the corner of the piano, and the small light for the message notification on it was blinking.Opening it, it turned out to be Xu Huaiyang.

Cai Zhan was a little surprised. Xu Huaiyang seldom contacted him at this time. Even if he had something to say, he would put it in the break after nine o'clock.There are only two simple words in WeChat - call back.

He clicked his tongue, cleared his throat, and dialed Xu Huaiyang's number.

The phone beeped for a long time, and when it was about to hang up automatically, it was finally picked up by the other side.

"Hey?"

Cai Zhan frowned when Xu Huaiyang's voice came from the microphone, feeling that Xu Huaiyang's voice was a bit hoarse.

"What's wrong?" He collected himself and asked.

"Did Brother Long tell you?" Xu Huaiyang said, "I'm staying in school, and I will live in school during the summer vacation."

Cai Zhan was stunned. Brother Long really hadn't had time to inform him, but according to Xu Huaiyang, he should know that Brother Long was watching him.

"I didn't touch your 3000 yuan. I have a way to get the money. You can study hard while living in school, which can just make up for the scores you dropped a while ago." Xu Huaiyang continued, "A while ago... the rankings all dropped. It's past fifty, you already know that."

"Xu Huaiyang..." Cai Zhan suddenly had a bad feeling. "What's the matter?"

The other side was silent for a while.

"Cai Zhan." After a few seconds, Xu Huaiyang spoke slowly.

"I think being in a relationship is too much of a waste of time... Let's break up," he said.