[Xiao Huanxi] complacent

All of this deviated from Fang Xuxu's original intention.

She didn't want to hurt anyone, and she always believed that she could handle this matter properly, but since Fang Yifan found out about her diagnosis, the people around her could never return to their previous state.

My mother cried secretly every day, and my father sighed in frustration when he thought no one was watching. My brother dared not speak loudly to her now. After a few words from his siblings, his eyes turned red and he found an excuse to run away. It's just that he greets her every now and then, as if she was a three-year-old child.

She is very guilty.

In fact, when Xuxu first realized that his heart might be sick, he had resentment towards his parents, and even became jealous of his elder brother who attracted more attention from his parents.She waited for Fang Yifan outside the school where he was taking the art test, and looked at the girls coming in and out taking the art test, her eyes were full of envy.

But after all, she grew up in a loving environment, and she really couldn't completely resent her parents.She is different from Yingzi. The reason why Yingzi broke out was because she was coerced by excess maternal love all the year round. The imbalance of family affection and the depression of life made her unable to bear it anymore, so she resisted in an earth-shattering way, which made the paranoid and tough The mother succumbed to her pain; but Xuxu's illness is not because her heart lacks some kind of emotional comfort, nor is it that she is unwilling and disappointed in life, but her life is too smooth, so once If you have something you really want, you just want it as the only one. If you can’t realize the only one, you will feel absurd. It is the tearing from the praise of others and the powerlessness of your own reality. It is the only time when the dream in your heart is about to be sentenced to death His resistance is a stubborn resistance.

However, the fire of the dream had just ignited and it was over. She couldn't say anything. She watched the art test end in front of her, so the flame disappeared in a flash, and she sang an elegy in her heart day and night as if she was dead. .

Xuxu thought that maybe one day she would be able to come out of this kind of mourning like a funeral, and the day when she came out to welcome the new life was the day when the illness in her heart was cured.She doesn't blame her parents, let alone anger at her twin brother. She just wants to give herself some time to let go and bid farewell to the longing that has lasted for more than ten years.

Perhaps it seems to outsiders that she is a frog that gradually boils herself in warm water, but in her own heart, she is more willing to call this self-healing and self-correcting disease than a terrible and heavy name like depression. The process is called licking.

It's not bad to lick the wound, grow up, and no longer look like the past.

Everyone does their own thing, and she sees that everyone in the family can get the result she is satisfied with, and then she feels that her sacrifice and concession are worthwhile.Now that the care and care of the whole world suddenly came to her, she felt uncomfortable, as if she cared about being discovered by everyone, and suddenly became extremely embarrassed.They all knew that she had a lot of trauma in her heart, but she was not weak, she was already very sad, and she didn't want others to taste her sadness.

Everyone is out of kindness, because they love her too much and care about her too much.She understood, just looking at their pain, the girl in her heart was also crying.

She felt herself getting sicker.

This afternoon, she couldn't bear the atmosphere at home anymore, she wanted to give them a space to vent, and let herself find a quiet place, so she took her coat and said that she would go for a walk in the community.Tong Wenjie was a little afraid that something would happen to her, but was held back by Fang Yifan who could sense Fang Xuxu's emotions faster.

Although he usually looks unreliable, no matter what, he is still an older brother. He is one of the people in the world who knows Fang Xuxu best.

Xuxu was walking beside the green belt of the community. The weather had warmed up in April. She put on a white coat over a thin knitted sweater, and with her white canvas shoes, she explored the green grass that had begun to sprout in the soil, revealing With a relaxed smile, he squatted down and gently brushed the tip of the bud with the pulp of his index finger.

The phone in the coat pocket vibrated. Fang Xuxu took it out and looked at it. It was Ji Yangyang's WeChat. He asked if she was at home now.

Xuxu replied, "Next to the lawn downstairs."

Two seconds after the reply, a voice came from behind:

"Fang Xuxu!"

Fang Xuxu turned around while squatting by the grass, and saw Ji Yangyang standing behind the railing in their small courtyard and smiling at her, waving his phone.

Xuxu also smiled and waved to him.

But Ji Yangyang made a gesture to run into the house, and shouted, "Stay there and wait for me to get out!"

Less than a minute later, he blew down from the door of the unit like a gust of wind, and put on a thick black sweater over the thin white sweater he was wearing just now, which was his favorite Burberry, and stepped on a pair of white Air Force One Just rushed out.

Fang Xuxu was still waiting for him, but he had already stood up, with his hands in the pockets of his coat, his head lowered, and his feet unconsciously scratching on the ground.

Ji Yangyang looked at her from afar.Fang Xuxu was already tall and thin, but now she looked a little slimmer.She wore a white coat and tied a ponytail. Her legs wrapped in light blue jeans were long and thin, and the trousers looked empty. Her bent calves and ankles with white socks exposed were so thin that people worried that they could be broken easily. .

Too thin, she is already tall, and now she has a tendency to develop into a bamboo pole.

Ji Yangyang sighed, put his worries to the bottom of his heart, and walked over with his usual expression on his face.

Before the words came, the shadow above the head came first.Fang Xuxu covered her head with a hand, and she shook her head as usual, shaking his hand off.

Ever since they reconciled naturally, Ji Yangyang had this problem and liked to attack her from behind.Either put your hands on her shoulders or "block" her with a palm.Fang Xuxu even suspected that in his eyes, she was already a qualified armrest holder, and it was just because she was bullying her height that it was just right to support her.

Xuxu got rid of his hand and looked up at him: "What do you need from me? Why come out in such a hurry? I can go in."

Ji Yangyang didn't answer this, and asked her, "Are you free this afternoon?"

Hearing this, Fang Xuxu took a careful look at him. Perhaps Ji Yangyang's facial features were really colder by nature, but they looked the same as before.She thought about the people in her family, and also thought about Ji Yangyang's behavior since everyone knew she was sick, and felt that there would be nothing wrong with spending an afternoon with him.

Okay, okay, she really wants to go out to catch her breath.

He took her and ran, trotting all the way to the gate of the community, found an online car-hailing car on the side of the road, and motioned for her to sit in.

Fang Xuxu thought it was a temporary idea, but Didi had been waiting at the gate of the community for some time. It was obviously planned for a long time, and he might even have ordered a car when he greeted her in the yard at home.

Of course Ji Yangyang knew what she was thinking. He looked down at the "Fang Yifan" wechat page displayed on his phone. It had already told him that Fang Xuxu was going out to relax and had no other plans for the afternoon.

When the car arrived at its destination, Fang Xuxu looked out the window.

Shijingshan Amusement Park?

She was still a little dazed, but Ji Yangyang had already opened the car door on her side and made a gesture.

"Please. Revisit your childhood, challenge yourself, and play with me."

Fang Xuxu was pulled out of the car by him, and he pushed him into the car a little helplessly.She suspected that Ji Yangyang thought that taking her to the playground would make her happier, but Fang Xuxu is no longer a child, and the things she used to love to play are now too childish, and she never dared to play with exciting large-scale facilities, so she just She felt that Ji Yangyang's method made her speechless and laughed.

But she thought that since they were all here, she wouldn't let him down, so she raised her spirits and looked around.

For every kid in Beijing, old-fashioned amusement parks like Shijingshan are childhood memories.The garden has been repaired and rebuilt. She has hardly been here since middle school, and she was a little strange for a while.

It's just that she never expected that Ji Yangyang would push her in the direction of the Fengshen roller coaster.

Xuxu looked at Ji Yangyang in panic, grabbed his sleeve, and whispered: "I dare not..."

He didn't seem to hear, he took her all the way to the bottom of the roller coaster, lowered his head and asked her, "Are you afraid of heights?"

Fang Xuxu shook his head.

"Go, you're not afraid." He firmly took her hand to buy a ticket, standing behind him uneasy, looking up at the screaming roller coaster.The huge building stood majestically above her head with the sound of howling wind, her heart was beating fast, she was flustered, and suddenly a little bit excited and bold.

She has never thought of getting close to this facility. Since she was a child, she has always been the one who stood underneath wearing a princess dress and waiting for her brother to come down, but...how exciting, when flying to the highest altitude, I don’t know if I can still think of being sick. .

She actually followed Ji Yangyang up.It wasn't until the safety equipment was fixed that she realized what she had done, but it was too late to regret it.

The roller coaster slowly climbed to a high place, and Ji Yangyang held Fang Xuxu's fingertips, feeling cold.He looked sideways at her pale lips, not without uneasiness in his heart, but he could no longer allow him to worry too much. Suddenly, he lost weight, and as soon as he loosened his fingers, Fang Xuxu's hand slipped away from his fingertips.

There were screams all around, but there was no sound around him.

Ji Yangyang wanted to take a look at her, but the high-altitude wind prevented him from turning his head. As he drove past the curves one by one, his heart gradually filled with regret.

At the biggest bend, he suddenly heard a low sob from beside him, and his flustered heart suddenly settled down.

Until his feet stepped on the ground again, his eyes fell on Fang Xuxu.Her eyes were red, but otherwise her face was terribly calm.She seemed to understand what Ji Yangyang wanted to do, and before he could speak or move, she had already walked to the next large facility.

"Come on, stay with me."

Ji Yangyang followed silently.

They almost played all the exciting activities that she had never played before. Fang Xuxu bit her lip at the beginning and screamed loudly at the end. Her eyes were red but she kept holding back. The pitiful look of holding back made Ji Yangyang Burning with anger.

He couldn't see her bearing everything in her heart, it was really pitiful, so pitiful that it was annoying.There are so many people who love her in this world, whether she likes to be coquettish or arrogant, who will show such a pitiful expression now.She felt uncomfortable, she could cry, she could blame everyone, they gave her the right to vent and cry, and she was willing to accept her accusations, but she kept everything in her heart and regarded their sincerity as nothing.

If Fang Xuxu had been his friend and a boy, Ji Yangyang would have beaten her to wake her up.

But he couldn't, he couldn't even bear to wake her up, so he wanted to force her to vent the negative emotions in her heart.Of course, this is dangerous and risky, he knows, but for a gentle and stubborn person like Fang Xuxu, he can't find any other way.

At least today's efforts were not in vain, she began to let herself scream, but she was still habitually restraining herself from really crying.Ji Yangyang followed her off the Shenzhou roller coaster, and looked at her side face - still with that kind of pitiful forbearance.

This won't work—he grabs her by the arm and drags her to a place.

The moment Fang Xuxu saw clearly, he stopped, but he quickly bought the ticket and led her to line up.

There were fewer and fewer people in front, Fang Xuxu smacked his lips a few times, then turned around: "I don't want..."

Ji Yangyang looked at her calmly, and listened to her: "What did you say?"

"I don't want to go up," she repeated, as if determined, "let's go and go to the other seats."

Ji Yangyang gave an abominable smile - at least in Fang Xuxu's view now.

"It's okay, don't be afraid."

What is he talking about?She is still forcing her to do things today.Fang Xuxu looked at the smile on his lips with red eyes, and finally couldn't hold back the tears. The hand that was holding his sleeve changed to the collar of his sweater, and burst into tears with a "wow".

She was so frightened that she hugged him tightly, as if he would force her to sit and shoot if he didn't pay attention—she wasn't afraid of the feeling of weightlessness from a high altitude, but she was especially afraid of the feeling of being ejected from a small enclosed space.Fang Yifan tricked her into taking the sit when she was a child, Fang Xuxu had a high fever when she got home, and was terrified of this project ever since.

Xuxu felt that she was particularly wronged, and she was also very angry with Ji Yangyang.She's already like this, how could he treat her like this.He was so gentle to her before, but when she was sick, couldn't he stop bullying her?

The grievances came to my heart suddenly, not only today's grievances, but also yesterday's, the day before yesterday, and earlier... She pinched the material on Ji Yangyang's shoulders and pressed her head against his neck, afraid that he would Insisting on her to sit up, she clung to him tightly, even crying and patting him.

"You can't do this to me...I'm sick, you can't let me sit on this...I hate you..."

Ji Yangyang apologized to the people behind him, protected Fang Xuxu from the line, pressed her head against his chest, so that no one could see her face, and walked down with her half in his arms.

He let her beat and scold, and only pressed her head tightly against his chest throughout the whole process, letting her tears be sucked away by his clothes, lest she catch a cold in early spring, after all, there was no hat on her coat.

He stroked Fang Xuxu's ponytail, his face softened.

Cry, it's a good thing if you can cry, feel wronged, or even beat and scold.He wasn't afraid of her pointing at him and scolding him, but he was afraid of her taking everything to heart.A person's ability to bear is limited, and if it exceeds a certain limit, people will perish.

Cry hard and fast, and when you are tired from crying, you can sleep well at night.

The author has something to say:-

感谢在2020-01-3114:46:24~2020-02-0111:03:37期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who cast mines: Wu Song Carrot, Lemon Bumeng, A Wen, Jiang Xiaxia who wants to raise a cat, and Sen Tang one;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：栀虞·17瓶；电光蓝靓仔。、粉粉、树皮面包、这里有只黑糖包10瓶；玹宓、旺仔不是汪5瓶；菩萨蛮3瓶；豆豆起豆起豆呛、凌晨十分、葛笑尘、小仙男、mor1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!