his story

Since then, something seems to have changed quietly, like a wall being demolished, a glacier melting in the heat.

Leng Zhen persevered in contacting Yan Shu through various channels. From the very beginning, when he happened to meet Yan Shu on the way to work, even Li Mo wondered if Leng Zhen was unemployed so he had so much time to play lingering ghosts, but Li Mo's complaints did not affect Leng Zhen looking for various opportunities to contact Yan Shu and extend an invitation.

Leng Zhen: "Yan Shu, come to dinner with me tonight."

Yan Shu: "What's the matter?"

Leng Zhen: "I want you to meet some of my friends."

Li Mo: "Why don't I know what to eat?"

Leng Zhen: "I didn't invite you."

Li Mo: "...then why did you send messages in the group!!!"

Yan Shu: "..."

Leng Zhen's attitude towards Yan Shu is not in line with enthusiasm or gentleness. Yan Shu's refusal and retreat do not seem to make him feel discouraged. Keep a safe distance, and then enter the room step by step.

On Yan Shu's birthday, Leng Zhen bought a scarf, perhaps because he was eager to give the gift away, he insisted on wrapping it around Yan Shu himself, ignoring that Yan Shu didn't avoid his overly intimate movements.The soft touch of the scarf touched Yan Shu's cheek, he looked at Leng Zhen and thanked him.

Leng Zhen's expression showed a bit of rare pride, and he took out an identical scarf from the bag to wrap it around himself, and then said to Yan Shu: "We all look good in it."

Yan Shu: "..."

Li Mo looked aside with an unbearable expression.Leng Zhen always tried every means to highlight his "goodness" and their "suitability". When he came to Yan Shu, he was like a peacock bouncing around. Li Mo had to leave early in order to protect his eyesight.

There were only the two of them sitting opposite each other in the living room, Leng Zhen looked at Yan Shu intently, Yan Shu took off the scarf pretending to be relaxed: "It's quite hot in the room, but I can use it when I go out tomorrow, thank you very much .”

Leng Zhen is very good at climbing along the pole: "It's just to say thank you, not very sincere."

Yan Shu paused, summoned up his courage and said, "What do you think is sincerity?"

Leng Zhen didn't hesitate at all: "Stay with me."

Yan Shu's holding breath was released, and he pretended to be calm and responded lightly: "Okay."

He lowered his head and didn't look at Leng Zhen's reaction, because just coping with the frantically beating heart in his chest was exhausted.Yan Shu felt that his performance was already worthless, but when Leng Zhen walked up to him and forced him to look up, Yan Shu realized that the two were equally worthless.

Leng Zhen's entire face was flushed, and he stubbornly maintained a calm expression. He said, "If you promise, you will have no chance to go back on your word." Then he pulled Yan Shu out, went straight to the jewelry store, and bought A pair of rings.He said to Yan Shu very seriously: "It's not enough to verbally agree, I have to leave a physical evidence."

The next day, Li Mo shed tears of fatherly love like a fool marrying a wife in the face of the two who had finally hooked up successfully.

After the official relationship, Yan Shu's introverted personality was often overwhelmed by his cold performance, and even Li Mo couldn't help calling him a villain.This society's attitude towards homosexuals is not considered tolerant, but Leng Zhen is blatantly flaunting it.

For example, one day he insisted on asking Yan Shu to bring him lunch, but Yan Shu couldn't hold him back, so he went. When he arrived at Lengzhen's company, the girl at the front desk called and said, "Mr. Yan Shu is looking for Manager Leng." On the side, I heard a cold and loud voice coming from the microphone: "Please come up with my boyfriend."

Yan Shu: "..."

The girl at the front desk: "..."

Another time they traveled to a coastal city, because it was a holiday, and there were a little too many people on the beach. They stepped on the soft sand with bare feet. Yan Shu who was beside him came to stabilize himself, and Leng Zhen quickly put Yan Shu in his arms and retreated to the side.

Yan Shu: "..."

Tourist who fell to the ground: "..."

This kind of indifference can sometimes be regarded as very naive, but he just makes Yan Shu feel speechless and at the same time feel hot at the apex of his heart, making him feel that maybe all the sufferings and misfortunes in the past are for the fulfillment of the present happiness and comfort.

Yan Shu was slowly spoiled by Leng Zhen, because he was obviously cherished, so he began to feel confident, and felt that there was nothing in the world to worry about or be afraid of.

Yan Shu has also saved a little over the past few years, and intends to open a store of his own. When he was looking for information on the Internet, Leng Zhen saw it, and Leng Zhen immediately rented a store when he turned around.A few of them decided to open a beverage store after investigating and discussing. A friend of Leng Zhen was in charge of the design and decoration work. Li Mo was also busy with Yan Shu, walking around, and helping to hire two hardworking and down-to-earth shop assistants.The business was good on the day of the official opening. Yan Shu, who had been tense for a long time, fell to the ground with a huge stone in his heart. For the first time, he did not care about the eyes of others, and took the initiative to hug Leng Zhen.

The first time they had an intimate encounter, both were nervous.Yan Shu sat at the head of the bed, and Leng Zhen sat at the end of the bed. No one dared to move. They remained in a stalemate for a while. Finally, Leng Zhen couldn't stand it any longer. He pretended to be annoyed and shouted at him: "Why are you so far away from me?" , Are you afraid that I have an infectious disease!?"

Yan Shu was apprehensive, took a deep breath secretly, and remained silent for a few seconds without responding, but in Leng Zhen's eyes, this turned into doubts and deliberate dawdling, so he added angrily: "I'm not sick! "

Yan Shu couldn't hold it back, and burst out laughing, which made Leng Zhen suddenly angry, he rushed over and pressed Yan Shu under him.

"How dare you laugh at me, I..."

He grasped Yan Shu's wrist with both hands, and pressed his upper body half on Yan Shu's body. The body temperature of the two blended together, and their breaths were also intertwined.The smile on Yan Shu's face gradually faded, and he felt a tremor coming from his tailbone, which made him want to curl up into a ball.Leng Zhen's Adam's apple rolled, his eyes were stained with lust, and his voice became a little hoarse: "I can't spare you..." He lowered his head slightly and kissed him.

Lips and teeth stick together, so far, they are in love with each other.

It's just that Yan Shu didn't expect the change to happen so quickly, or in other words, he has actually noticed the changes brought about by time, but he still thinks that there are some things that will not be changed easily.

After they were together for four years, Leng Zhen said: "Yan Shu, let's break up, I'm in love with someone else."

Yan Shu felt that he should be having a nightmare, but Leng Zhen actually used the word love, and the object was someone else.He pinched himself, but the dream continued. Leng Zhen in the dream looked at him with a frown and said, "I will move out."

He said these words lightly, but he hit Yan Shu dizzily and dizzy.

It is true that the dream does not wake up.

Yan Shu gritted his teeth and said, "I don't agree."

Leng Zhen was silent for a moment, said: "Yan Shu, I'm sorry." Then he turned and left the apartment where they lived together.

Leng Zhen has always been like this, he acts vigorously and decisively, and will never drag his feet. When he said that he wanted to separate, he really decided to separate, just as firmly as when he said that he wanted to be with Yan Shu.He moved all his things away while Yan Shu was away, as if he was worried that he would be entangled when he met Yan Shu again.

Yan Shu didn't know where Leng Zhen moved to, and he couldn't make a scene in his company, so he could only call and send a message like crazy to ask him the reason, saying that he could change it, and begged him to follow him. See you again, but there is no answer.Yan Shu's indiscriminate bombing finally only got Li Mo to come forward.

Li Mo said: "Yan Shu, you should learn to be free and easy, it's just a broken relationship, how can you not fall in love when you fall in love, and there will be better things in the future."

This is already the best comfort Li Mo can give, but Yan Shu is thinking: Oh, so it's just a relationship.

He asked Li Mo: "Who is that person?"

Li Mo hesitated and said, "...It's Leng Zhen's ex-girlfriend."

"So, you already knew."

A look of guilt appeared on Li Mo's face, and he said: "Yan Shu, I thought they were just friends after they broke up. I didn't expect them to get back together again. I knew about it not earlier than you... Leng really talked to you first. After talking, we got back together with her."

Yan Shu stared at him blankly: "Then you, do you know why?"

Li Mo looked away, and sighed deeply: "They already have a child, six years old, and Leng Zhen didn't know for long."

"Child..." Yan Shu murmured and repeated these two words, and let out a low laugh, "Ha, I really can't give..."

Li Mo couldn't bear it, he said: "Yan Shu, feelings are difficult to control, and I can't tell who is right. I have also lost love. The feeling of breaking up is not good, but it will be fine if you get over it." , people still have to go on with their own lives.”

Yan Shu hung his head and did not speak, Li Mo sat with him for a while, time passed slowly, Yan Shu remained silent, Li Mo tentatively said to him: "I still have something to do in the store, I will come to see you tomorrow ... Yan Shu, don't do stupid things."

Li Mo got up and walked to the door, Yan Shu called him with a hoarse voice: "Li Mo, you can rest assured that I will not pester him anymore." Silver ring.

Yan Shu was laughing with the corners of his mouth pulled, his thin face was full of tears, his eyes were red as if bleeding, he said: "You tell him, return the physical evidence to him, and he got away."

******

Yan Shu's father raped his mother and gave birth to Yan Shu. They didn't even get a certificate, but everyone acquiesced that she was his woman and his wife.He kept her imprisoned and kept her in the cellar. After Yan Shu was born, he allowed her to live in the house on the ground.

He would beat her, strip her naked and show her in the village with a rope. People in the same village laughed and praised him for being able to fuck women.Yan Shu also became his punching bag when he grew up a little bit. He wouldn't hide at first, and would only cry when he was beaten, but when a man got angry enough, he would hug him, call him his precious son, and he would stop crying He huddled in his father's arms and wiped his tears.He is the man's own flesh and blood, and the man can't bear to look at the injuries on his body, so he rubs the medicine on him and shows a distressed expression.Yan Shu forgets the pain when his scar is healed, and will chase after him and act like a baby, but once he gets drunk, Yan Shu will be tied up and kicked again.

This situation has been repeated too many times, and Yan Shu gradually learned to be smarter. He is thin and flexible, and can hide and hide, but she can't. She has been chained for a long time and can no longer walk normally. up.She would stare at him with resentful eyes, as if she hated him for running away, so that she would suffer double the abuse.

Yan Shu didn't dare to get close to her, because if he got close, he would be grabbed and beaten, and she would bite him. His arm was once bitten bloody, which made him very scared when he was young. Mother, even more than his father.

One day, his father started to go crazy after drinking too much. He heard his mother's screams outside the room. Through the crack in the door, he saw his mother's painful face again. Picking up a big stone, he opened the door with his head, and saw his father lying in a pool of blood clutching his throat, while his mother's mouth was full of blood. Seeing him, she laughed maniacally. She ran over with a limp, grabbed the stone from Yan Shu's arms, and went to Smash on the man's head.

Standing at the door, Yan Shu saw her pushing down hard again and again, only blood was left in her eyes.

"You liar! You lied to me! You lied to me!" his mother wailed.

A few days later, she was hanged on a barren mountain called Qiulu Mountain. When the villagers found her, her lower body had been eaten clean by wild animals.

The villagers wondered when she sneaked here alone to seek death, so they hastily dug a pit and buried her on the spot, and covered Yan Shu's eyes to prevent him from seeing the horrific scene.

Later, Yan Shu was adopted by a person who claimed to be his uncle, and he left this impoverished mountainous area and came to M City.Uncle and aunt would quarrel, although they always quarreled in the room behind his back, but the house was not soundproof at all, Yan Shu just sat on a chair and watched the fan on the ceiling turn round and round, as if it was spinning endlessly.

Yan Shu would often have nightmares at night. In the dream, his mother smashed his father's bones and said to him viciously: "You are the one who did the evil, and you are the one who committed the crime, and you too will die!" Pay off my torment!"

She also reached out to grab Yan Shu, her face and body were covered with blood, like the evil ghost in the story, Yan Shu was very scared, and stumbled away, but she could clearly hear her cursing behind her.

"You coward! Run away, you can't escape! Even if you live, no one will love you! If you live, you will suffer forever! You will be like me! You will be like me!"

The first time Yan Shu woke up from a dream, he ran to knock on his uncle's door, and the answer was the sound of smashing teacups. Later, he would hide in the cabinet. The small space gave him a great sense of security. Let him sleep through the night until dawn.

Not long after, my aunt became pregnant and her temper became worse. My uncle bought a new house to make her happy. Yan Shu was left in this old house where his mother lived in when he was a child. His uncle would give him some food every month. Money, after a long time, will not come by itself, but will be entrusted to others.

Auntie Zhang who lives next door is a very kind person. She knew that Yan Shu would often let him come to her house for dinner after she lived alone. She had a son named Tian Ye, who was the same age as Yan Shu and was already in school. Having never been to school, Aunt Zhang contacted her uncle and asked someone to help him with the admission procedures.

When Yan Shu was in the first grade, Tian Ye was already in the third grade. Different grades in elementary school had different dismissal times. Yan Shu studied hard, and finally skipped a grade at the age of 11 and became a classmate with Tian Ye.

Tian Ye is very good-looking, Tian Ye is very good at studying, and Tian Ye has many friends. It took Yan Shu a long time to change his identity from an oil bottle from nowhere to a small follower, and finally became one of Tian Ye's friends gloriously. one.Tian Ye’s parents divorced when he was a freshman in high school, and Tian Ye was lost and sad for a long time, Yan Shu stayed with him all the time, and even thought he could stay with him for the rest of his life, but unfortunately they failed to get into the same university, Tian Ye met someone better, Yan Shu consciously did not bother him again.

In his junior year, Yan Shu entered a law firm as an intern. The senior who brought him in was a kind-hearted middle-aged man. He treated Yan Shu very well and was not as strict as others. Yan Shu respected him very much and thanked him very much, but this senior pressed Yan Shu in an empty alley after a certain party, and said to him smelling of alcohol: "Yan Shu, I like you very much." , you follow me, I will help you, and I will give you money and everything." Yan Shu touched a wine bottle in the confusion and smashed his head.

Because of the bad influence of this malicious injury, Yan Shu was expelled from school, and he had nowhere to defend himself.The senior who didn't succeed seemed to be a different person, with a bandage on his head, looked at him contemptuously, and said to give him another chance, let him think about it again, Yan Shu smashed him with a mineral water bottle.

Yan Shu found a sales job in City Z and met Lin Cheng.Lin Cheng is still a college student. He likes to wear white T-shirts. He smiles brightly and is full of youthful vigor. He always follows Yan Shu around like a child.When he said he liked Yan Shu for the first time, Yan Shu didn't take it seriously. He said the second time that Yan Shu started to hide from him, but Lin Cheng still chased him. He said the third time that Yan Shu wanted to agree to him. However, Lin Cheng was just joking around.Yan Shu didn't want to be angry with children, but Lin Cheng thought differently from him. Lin Cheng's family had some influence in City Z, which was enough to make Yan Shu unable to stay.

Yan Shu sold his one-bedroom house and came to City A. He met the kind-hearted Li Mo, and the arrogant and stubborn Leng Zhen. He even opened his own shop. , he was very satisfied, but in the end it still ended in dismal.

He has been giving in and working hard. There are some things that he really wants, and he still wants them even though he is afraid, but he just can't grasp them, so forget it.

Yan Shu started to have nightmares again, unable to sleep all night. In the dream, he sometimes hid on the haystack lying on his stomach, covering his ears and still could hear his father's scolding; sometimes he was in the closet, My uncle and aunt quarreled outside, and the teacup smashed on the door; more often, he was standing under a big tree surrounded by lush vegetation, and my mother hid under a straw mat and said, "Little You bad boy, why don't you come and see mom, why don't you come and stay with mom..."

The mother in the dream is so gentle, Yan Shu wants to visit her.