Autobiography of a beast

It has been a few months since I saw the boy again, seeing him standing still in front of me, touching my forehead as usual, as if everything is so familiar.But I always feel something is different.

he's changed.

Some innocence and heartiness have faded away, and a touch of heaviness and vicissitudes have been added.

Although these words are not very suitable for teenagers, but at this moment I can't find a more suitable word to describe his current state.

We sat under the dirt slope where we used to sit, and he told me that they had won the battle.

The soldiers are strong and the horses are strong, and they have been training for a long time.This victory was taken for granted.

However, he didn't seem happy.

Because he told me that Da Zhuang is gone.Oh, Da Zhuang is his companion, and he also came to this forest to hunt with him before.This name was his nickname, but he didn't say what his real name was.

After finishing speaking, the boy curled himself up and fell into a long silence.

I was a little uneasy, and raised my head with huge antlers to rub against his calf.That's when I saw him cry.

Not crying, just crying.Depressedly, he let the tears flow from his eyes.

I stayed with him for a long time and he didn't tell me more.I just need someone to accompany me like I have nowhere to vent.He also didn't tell me about the dangers on the battlefield and whether he was injured.

The sky darkened in a long silence.

Teenagers are always growing up.

Until the end, he never doubted the path he chose, nor did he say that he would give up the path he chose.I think he intends to move on.

The days passed by.

Then, the battles became more and more frequent, and the number of his expeditions also increased.I can feel that with each additional battle, his hostility and dullness will increase.

But when facing me, he is always very gentle.I think it's probably because I was his last friend who spent so long with him and could let him talk freely.

Witnessing his little changes with my own eyes, when he was no longer young, I felt a little bit sorry for him.But restrained himself to be an outsider.After all, I'm an old guy with a long, long life to live.One tombstone that I miss all day long and can't put down is enough. I can't bear the pain of adding a new tomb in front of the old one.Even though he is a divine beast with an immortal body, he always has his own softness.

Just look at it, I told myself.

The black beast knows, I have made a new friend.I didn't contradict his statement, because once I opened my mouth, it meant endless nagging.I often think that I can live with him for thousands of years, and I am also an out-and-out talent.

But what surprised me was that after asking my "new friend", the black beast shut up for a long time without speaking.This surprised me very much.Involuntarily looked up at him.The way he tried to keep his mouth shut but wanted to say something, biting his lips until he trembled was really amusing.

"Just say what you want, but I'm not used to you like this."

"you…"

"I know what you're going to say"

"Then let me tell you"

"It's just that you look so stupid, just to tease you"

"Then what do you think? Whose grave is there as a lesson from the past?"

"I know, it's not that mysterious. Birth, old age, sickness and death are normal. I won't stop anything, and I will clean up my feelings."

"It's just that the years in the mountains are really too cold. After a long time, it is inevitable to covet some tenderness and companionship."

"It's good that you know what you have. But it doesn't matter what you do. After many years of restraint, it's okay to be presumptuous once. But, remember, don't make yourself sad, the most important thing is to live a comfortable life."

"...Has anyone ever told you..."

"Ok?"

"This style of painting doesn't suit you"

"roll"

"Thank you"

"Humph"

"Let's go, go play by yourself"

Yes, the years in the mountains are deserted.A year is a year.

The young man's army has won nine out of ten battles, and it is a well-deserved ace army.As the number of battles increased, the young man killed more and more enemies and his military rank became higher and higher.After a few years, he also became the commander-in-chief of one side.

However, at this time, he could no longer be called a teenager.

The willfulness and innocence of his youth can no longer be found in him.Having experienced countless battles, his greenness has faded, his brows and eyes are more stretched, and his every step reveals calmness.The smile and shyness back then have long since disappeared with the polishing of the years and the blowing of yellow sand.

Really worthy of the name of general.

Have you seen it?After all, the young man from back then walked on the same path with you.

With the promotion of his official rank, more and more affairs need to be handled by him in the army.Gradually, the number of times he came to this forest became less and less.But as long as you come, you will always remember to bring me some mung bean cakes.I also rely on this small piece of pastry to taste a little bit of the sweetness of the years in the mountains.

He will still talk to me from time to time, regardless of whether I understand or not.In the past few years, there have been fewer and fewer people around him who he can talk to, and the war must continue at the cost of human life.I feel that he is not as happy and wanton as before.Instead, it is the firmness and majesty of the superior.

He is indeed different from when we first met.At that time, when he talked about the war, he could always find a fear of the unknown future in the depths of his eyes, but now, that fear has been overwhelmed by the firm will to fight, and it can no longer make waves.

He said that he would occasionally think about what he would be doing now if he hadn't joined the army.Be an idle boy in Kyoto?Or should I find a job as an official to spend my life safely?But he didn't regret coming here.I don't regret coming here, I don't regret knowing these brothers, I don't regret fighting recklessly, and I don't regret seeing my god deer, which is rare in a thousand years.

The last sentence to him, I believe what he said must be true.

Obviously in my twenties, when I was young and reckless, it made me feel that he and I have the same vicissitudes of life.It's really time that urges people to grow up, whether you like it or not, just let me go forward and it's over.But he said that fortunately, I was able to talk with him, and he also said that no matter what, nothing would happen to me.

I think he's overthinking it, I'm a divine beast that doesn't live in the world, how can I be in danger in my own territory?It's him, but I can't let go more and more.Because every time I come to see me on the battlefield, I can smell the blood on his body.

He came to see me, he must have been trimmed.So it couldn't be someone else's blood stained on the battlefield, it could only be his own.But he never told me.In fact, in his eyes at this time, I was just a deer, and he told me that it’s okay to pretend to be weak, but he never said that there is a lonely heart in the shell of pride.Tsk, no matter how it sounds, it seems to be describing myself.

But what kind of friends are you if you hide like this!

He is so disinterested, I... I... What else can I do... After living in this mountain for so many years, there is always some stock in stock.Every time he came and smelled that smell, I knew it was another injury, so without saying a word, I threw rare medicinal materials on his head as if I didn't want money.There are military doctors in the army, and they know how to deal with it when they take it back.

He still looks at me and smiles!What a joke!Believe it or not, I'll scare you by transforming on the spot!

By the way, speaking of transformation, he doesn't seem to have seen me in person yet.Forget it, let's show him when he comes next time.Over the years, it's not that he never thought of seeing him in person, but he was always afraid of scaring the child, so he didn't dare to act rashly.But seeing him still laughing while he is wounded, as if returning to the heartless look of his youth, I can't help but soften my heart.Now it seems that he knows that nothing can scare him.

Alas, after all, I still can't bear to leave him alone.For him, but also for myself.

Then take another gamble.I hope this time, I'm lucky and won't lose.

I'm like a hesitant gambler. Before making a bet, I was panicking and wandering around, but once I made a bet, I desperately wanted to win.Unexpectedly, I still have this potential.

But, as the saying goes, you never know which will come first, tomorrow or the accident.

No, just after I made an oath on my front foot, I vowed to go out and play with him when I was hungry, and my back foot was gone.It has been more than a month.I was so frightened that I was afraid that something would happen to someone, and I immediately asked the beast to go out to help inquire.

I still remember the indescribable look in the eyes of the evil beast, but I didn't explain anything to him. I have already said everything that should be said.

Although it was common for this person not to come for several months after the war, he would always say hello in advance. This time he disappeared without a word for such a long time, which is really disturbing.

Just when he was restless, the evil beast brought back news.It is said that because of his outstanding military exploits, he was specially recalled to Beijing by the emperor to receive the title.

It's a good thing, but I always feel that something is awkward.

Over the years, his establishment has made many military exploits, but he has been stationed in the north all year round, and the people in this area respect him, respect him, and respect him.He has indeed become the reliance of the people behind him.But too much is too much, this is not a good thing for those who sit in the imperial city far away in Kyoto.

But I can't leave here, and this big family drags their families.I can only do it in a hurry.I look forward to some news from Kyoto to reassure me.

Time goes by day by day, day by day accumulates, and one year passes by.I waited a long time again.As if the meaning of my existence is to wait, before and now.

This realization made me laugh out loud at myself.

During the days when he didn't come back, I might think that even though I knew in my heart that I went back to Beijing, I couldn't help myself.But what if he sees the gentle township and bustling scenery of Kyoto himself, regrets his past choices, and doesn't want to come back?Otherwise, there would be no news at all for five years this time.According to the evil beast, the generals guarding the pass have changed.

I don't know what I'm thinking about here, if he doesn't come back, life will be the same, it's just that it lacks a little taste.

Alas, but speaking of the change of the two generals guarding the gate, the old emperor was also very upset.The generals in the country performed their own duties, one carrot and one hole, and they all guarded their seats securely, except for the northern part, where the original general was called back and there was no one to replace him for a while.It's not that the whole country can't find a second general, it's just that the northern part is special, and the outsiders are eyeing it, and the climate is dry and cold. The foreign enemies who are preparing to attack have corresponding countermeasures, so they will never be able to defend this place.

So if there is no comparison, there will be no harm. After all, this place will not be able to retain people.

As for me, it's pretty miserable to think about it.I wanted to be a gambler, but I didn't want to run away before the dice cup was shaken.

The only thing I regret is probably not being able to try it in front of him to impress him with beauty.After all, I still have a certain degree of confidence in my appearance.Maybe he was reluctant to leave after seeing him...

...what a mess...

The days passed by more than ten days just as I was cranky.This day, the evil beast told me with a smile that the generals sent to defend the city had run away again, and he laughed straight away. I don't know what's so funny about it. Does he feel proud when people despise our place?

Before I could reprimand him, the damn thing spoke again, saying that he was back.

Maybe it's because the old emperor finally sent all the people who can take over, or maybe he finally remembered the stability in the frontier that he had built with his own hands, or maybe he finally remembered that there is still a bird waiting for him in the forest in the north. old deer.

In short, the black beast said he was back.