[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

As soon as the gates of the capital are closed, the city is about to fall into chaos.

I don't know who came up with the idea of ​​closing the city gate. Dong Yong looked at the closed city gate and felt that the idea was terrible.

People in the city have to buy vegetables, grain, and firewood every day, and these daily necessities have to be brought in from outside the city.The garbage and night incense in the city must also be transported outside the city.In a few days, even if the people in the city are not starved to death, they will probably be suffocated to death by their own excrement.

The candidates came to the capital from a long distance, expecting to be named on the gold list, honoring their ancestors, but they didn't expect that the exam was just a few days away, and they couldn't even enter the city gate.Some poor students have no money and no place to live, so they can only live side by side outside the city.In the cold spring, some scholars who are not in good health have already fallen ill.There is a lack of medical care and medicine outside the city. Their disease not only delays the exam, but also has no doctor to treat them.

There are more and more people outside the city gate, refugees, juzi, and people around the capital are complaining.Now there are people yelling and cursing under the city gate all day long, and everyone's temper seems to have become irritable. Those who stay outside the city gate often have verbal or physical conflicts.

Dong Yong and Erlangshen wanted to meddle in their own business, so they had to settle the people outside the city first, otherwise there would be even bigger troubles.Dong Yong proposed to change into Taoist clothes and pretend to be a magic stick to solve the problem of food and accommodation for them.

Changing his appearance and doing good deeds without leaving his name are more in line with his good morals as a layman Lei Feng.

"Oh! Take it off quickly! Take off your underwear too!" Dong Yong bluffed.

Erlang Shen asked: "It's fine to use illusion, why do you have to take off your clothes? Also, why don't you take off your clothes when I'm the only one?"

Dong Yong rubbed his hands obscenely, "You take it off first, and I will take it off after I wait for you to change. Ouch! They are all men! Are you still afraid that I will take advantage of you?"

Erlang Shen glanced at him, and slowly took off all the clothes on his body.First take off the outer robe, then the inner garment, and finally a pair of obscene trousers.

Dong Yong said meanly: "I will change your clothes for you, little one!"

He picked up the linen coat on the table and put it on Erlang Shen.Look at his muscles, the lines are smooth, full of strength and beauty.Look at his chest muscles, they are really big!Look at other people's abdominal muscles, one by one, they are built upright!

Dong Yong touched his abdominal muscles jealously, and Erlang Shen's abdomen tightened, and he couldn't help but take two steps back, "What are you doing?" He suddenly attacked him.

Dong Yong smiled awkwardly but still politely: "I accidentally... bumped into it by accident."

He fastened the obscene clothes and put Erlang Shen on his coat. "Okay, I'll just put on makeup for you in a while."

Erlang Shen's upper body was neatly dressed, but his thighs were still bare. "Are you done changing your clothes?"

Dong Yong said very rascally: "Yes! Changing clothes! That is to change the top! I don't care about the pants underneath!"

Erlangshen glared at him, picked up his trousers and put them on.

Dong Yong was more afraid of the cold than Erlangshen, so he put on several layers of clothes.First the outer robe, then the jacket, and finally the three-layer inner garment.

He undressed generously in front of Erlangshen, and Erlangshen sat on a chair and watched silently.However, Dong Yong was very cunning, he stopped taking off his robe after he took it off.

"Why don't you take it off?" Erlang Shen asked.

Dong Yong took it for granted: "Because my jacket and inner garment are more in line with my advanced role, your inner garment is not good because the material is too good. So you have to replace them all, and I don't need it!"

Erlangshen's eyes were gloomy, and with a touch of his fingers, Dong Yong's clothes disappeared.Dong Yong's body felt cold, and he quickly covered the important parts.

"What do you want? You stinking rascal!"

Erlangshen smiled wickedly, "Don't you know what I want to do?"

Dong Yong yelled: "Help! Come quickly! God Erlang is playing a hooligan!"

Erlang God pressed him on the bed, rubbed his stomach, scratched his itchy flesh, Dong Yong smiled and hid aside, "Brother! Grandpa! I was wrong, I was really wrong! Haha! I am wrong everywhere . Please, stop rubbing it."

Erlangshen stopped after touching his belly a few times. He turned around, his ears turning red.

Lying on the bed, Dong Yong spread out into a big character, and then possessed a playful spirit, and said sadly: "What should I do? I... I am no longer the pure me... Hey..."

Erlangshen turned around and saw Dong Yong drying the birds on the bed, he couldn't help but turned his head and said, "Put on your clothes quickly, and be careful not to catch a cold. You are so old, it's not embarrassing to be naked."

Dong Yong got up from the bed indifferently, stood on the ground and shook, and the little brother below followed suit.He pouted and said, "What kind of gentleman are you pretending to be? I don't know who took off my clothes! As the saying goes, a gentleman is magnanimous, and a villain hides his jiji. I think I am quite a gentleman."

Erlangshen couldn't take it anymore and changed the clothes back to him, "Don't be poor, hurry up and get down to business."

Dong Yong used illusion to turn himself into a white-haired old Taoist priest with a sense of demeanor and demeanor. He felt that it was easy to gain the trust of strangers.

He also strongly asked Erlang Shen to become his little Taoist boy to put pressure on himself.

When he and Erlang Shen descended from the sky, they easily attracted everyone's attention.

An old man murmured, "Gods... gods? Look, everyone! The gods are here to save us!"

Everyone kowtowed and shouted: "Master Immortal! Please take pity on us!" "Master Immortal, please give us something to eat..."

Dong Yong hurriedly comforted them, "Everyone, everyone. The poor Taoist is not a god, but a person who cultivates the Tao. You don't need to perform this big gift, please come up quickly, please come up quickly!"

A skinny old man asked, "You are not a god? Then how could you descend from the sky?"

Dong Yong stroked his beard pretendingly, and laughed loudly, "As long as we cultivators devote ourselves to cultivation, whether it's flying through the clouds or turning into soldiers, it's just a trivial matter."

The old man seemed to be very prestigious among the refugees. He cupped his hands and said, "Please forgive me with long hair, please save us! We will never forget your great kindness!"

Dong Yong sighed: "Everything in the world has a definite number. Although the poor Taoist has some weak skills, but the poor Taoist can't make something out of nothing, and can't conjure food out of thin air."

The old man's cloudy eyes were filled with tears, "The Taoist leader... what should we do? Are we really destined to suffer this ordeal?"

The old man is almost 60 years old, his face is full of wrinkles, he is as thin as a walking skeleton, and there is no clean spot on his face.

Seeing the old man's pity, Dong Yong felt sour, his throat seemed to be blocked by sour apricots, and he was sore and uncomfortable.He coughed twice to clear his throat, and he calmed down before he said: "Don't be sad, old man. Although Poor Dao has no food, he can build a few huts for everyone, and at least they can shelter us from the wind and rain. It's cold now, so don't get sick from the cold." gone."

The old man was disappointed. What they need most now is not a shack, but food.But the Taoist priest can descend from the sky to solve the problem for them, what else can they be dissatisfied with?

The old man led the refugees to salute respectfully, "Thank you for your kindness, Taoist priest."

Dong Yong was about to start doing it, so he winked at Erlang God quietly.Erlang God looks like a boy now, with two small buns on the left and right sides of his head, like two horns, with red ribbons tied on them.Seeing Dong Yong's eyes, he turned his head rather depressed, as if he was in trouble.

Dong Yong tugged at his sleeve and said in a low voice, "Brother! Don't ignore me! When I do it later, be sure to let me do it! I'm afraid I'll screw up my performance."

Erlangshen said helplessly: "Got it, let's do it quickly! I need to accompany you on the small matter of building a few sheds. It's really a waste of teaching you all these years."

Dong Yong said: "Yes, yes, I'm stupid, I'm not talented, you must go to the battle! Go back and buy you candied haws!"

Erlang curled his lips, "Who wants to eat something that children eat?"

With Erlang God's guarantee, Dong Yong felt more at ease. He walked a few steps and found a clean and flat place.

He tidied up his clothes, took out a fly whisk from his wide sleeves, pinched the spells in his hands, and muttered spells in his mouth.

Everyone stared at the open space in front of Dong Yong, waiting for the house to appear.But the left waiter did not appear, and the right waiter did not appear. After waiting for nearly a quarter of an hour, there was not even a shadow of a piece of wood.

Gradually, the crowd of onlookers murmured in low voices.At first, it was just a low-pitched discussion, which gradually became louder and louder.This Taoist priest can't be an old liar!Did he screw up his acting?

Dong Yong ignored the doubts of the people around him. After he finished reciting the spell, he turned around and smiled at everyone.

A handsome scholar watching the excitement said: "Master Taoist, if you want to cheat money, you have come to the wrong place. You have also seen that these refugees can't afford to eat, so how can I give you money?"

Dong Yong smiled and said: "Wuliang Tianzun, this little brother, don't worry, you have to let the wood fly for a while."

As soon as the words fell, logs of different thicknesses lined up and flew over from the sky.

The thick logs were smashed vertically into the ground, and the thin logs flew over the thick logs, directly forming the beams of the house, and the prototype of the shed was erected in one fell swoop.

Everyone immediately believed in Dong Yong's ability, and they couldn't help but exclaimed when they saw the automatically built shed.

Dong Yong walked out of the crowd slowly. He found a place and pointed.I saw that piece of land was dug up little by little, as if someone was shoveling the soil. After a while, it became a well, and clear water came out from the ground.

The excavated soil was not wasted, and the well water automatically flew out from the bottom of the well, mixed with the soil, and became mud.

The sun was blocked suddenly, and the sky darkened. Everyone looked up and saw large pieces of dry thatch flying from the sky.A large piece of thatch flew to the roof, and the good mud jumped to the roof one by one to suppress the thatch, preventing the thatch from being blown away by the wind.

A sika deer ran over from the forest in the distance, with a few flower vines in its mouth.Dong Yong took the flower vine from the mouth of the sika deer, and the sika deer rubbed his arm affectionately.

Dong Yong put the flower vines at the door of the shed, and the flower vines grew in the wind, and red flowers bloomed.Flower vines surround the shed to block the cold spring wind.

Dong Yong said: "The shed is built, and you can stay here temporarily. In addition, I would like to tell you that there are also people living in other city gates without a fixed place. You can send them news and let them come here for a while. A place to stay. There are still many poor students who have no place to stay, if you don’t mind, please stay here.”

The crowd of onlookers couldn't help but praise, "The Taoist priest is really kind-hearted, he is like a living god!"

"Yes! Yes! The Taoist priest is really capable."

Dong Yong waved his hand and said modestly: "Small tricks are nothing to worry about. Pindao is going to do a ceremony here to pray for blessings. Are you interested in participating?"

One of the onlookers shouted excitedly: "This is a great thing! Can the Taoist priest wait until we go back and call our family?"

Dong Yong said: "If everyone is interested, it is naturally possible. However, there is an unfeeling request from the poor. The refugees here have no food. Can you bring some food from home so that they can have a full meal?" ?”

The crowd around the audience couldn't help it, and the refugees knelt down to Dong Yong again, crying to thank him for his kindness.

Erlangshen knew that Dong Yong didn't like people kneeling on him, so he raised his hand secretly, making those refugees stand up slowly.

Dong Yong said: "Don't thank me. If you have the heart, do more good deeds in the future and help other people in need!"

Dong Yong sat cross-legged on the ground, closed his eyes, and waited quietly for others to come over.

Erlangshen sat obliquely behind him, and asked via voice transmission: "I don't understand, why do you do things in exchange for food. The food these people bring may not be enough for these refugees to eat. Why don't I go to raise some food and directly send over."

Dong Yong replied: "I just want to tell these refugees that there is a price to pay for everything. People as capable as me can't conjure food out of thin air, let alone them? People are sinister. There are also many villages near the capital, and spring plowing is about to start, as long as they put in the effort, they will never starve to death."

Speaking of this, Dong Yong sighed, "But these are all my wishful thinking, and I don't know if anyone can understand my good intentions. I don't know, the final result of building a shed with such a big fanfare and harvesting food is good. It's bad."

Erlang Shen also sighed silently in his heart, he thought he knew Dong Yong very well, but he didn't.He also didn't see through Dong Yong's true meaning.

Dong Yong is an ordinary mortal, but he always has compassion for other mortals.

Erlang God has seen all kinds of gods in the East, and also met many Bodhisattvas and Buddhas in the West.But the compassion of gods and Buddhas to mortals is high and high, and it is an attitude of charity.If it touches on one's own interests, mortals are just ants that can be easily crushed to death, not worth mentioning.

Dong Yong's compassion is noble, he doesn't have great abilities, but he likes to stand up for others.There is no difference in Dong Yong's compassion. If the gods also encounter difficulties, he will try his best to help if he can.

Erlangshen communicated to Dong Yong: "I'm not as good as you."

Dong Yong asked strangely: "What's wrong with you? Did you take the wrong medicine? How are you inferior to me? Little jiji?"

Erlang God: "..."

"Brother, why don't you talk! Come and talk for a while! It's boring to sit with your eyes closed! Come on! Chat! Anyway, there is a lot of time~"

Erlang Shen just wanted to say a few heart-to-heart words with Dong Yong, but he didn't expect the good atmosphere to be ruined by his few words.

Erlang Shen couldn't bear it and said: "Shut up! Be quiet!"

Dong Yong was frightened by Erlang God's gnashing of teeth, and immediately admitted that he was as quiet as a chicken.

After waiting for a while, the open space in front of Dong Yong was already full of people.He opened his eyes and smiled and said, "The time has come, and the ceremony of praying for blessings has officially begun."

Erlang Shen went to the front and waved his hand to create a long table, on which incense candles and other things were already arranged.

Everyone watched and admired in a low voice, looking at the Taoist priest, even the apprentice is so capable.

Dong Yong shook his whisk and began to practice.In fact, he has never learned how to do rituals at all. He has learned magic, medical skills, and even divination and fortune-telling from Erlang God these years, but he has never learned how to perform rituals.After all, Erlang Shen himself didn't know how to do it!God Erlang knows how to bless mortals, but he really doesn't know how Taoist priests do things.

It can only be said that the technology he has mastered is too high-end, and he can't play low-end players at all.

Dong Yong pretended to be walking up and down in front of the long table, chanting the English daily expressions that he had not forgotten.For example: desire? hldare desire?and lileiandhaneieiaregdfri