[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

After slandering each other, King Zhou and Yang Jian started a cold war.

The longest record of their previous cold war was two hours. Yang Jian counted the time and saw that it was going to be two hours, so he coughed twice and said to King Zhou: "Do you want to go to Sishuiguan to see the battle?"

King Zhou couldn't bear it anymore, Yang Jian could take the initiative to admit his mistake, and he immediately took advantage of the slope and went down.

"Okay! Okay! Wait a minute, I'll bring some dried meat and candied fruit."

King Zhou went behind the screen and fiddled for a long time. When he came out, he had changed into new clothes and was still carrying a big burden in his hand.

Yang Jian sighed, "I'm just taking you to Sishui Pass for a while, and you'll be back in half a day at most. You're holding so many things, how long are you planning to stay in Sishui Pass?"

King Zhou hugged the big burden tightly, "I just want to carry it~" After speaking, he blinked innocently.

Yang Jian squeezed his fingers, really... really wanted to beat him up...

"speak politely!"

King Zhou raised his head and curled his mouth, "I just want to take it with me!"

Yang Jian: "..." I feel that this relationship is in jeopardy... This must be the fault of the Queen Mother!

Yang Jian flew to Sishui Pass with King Zhou, and the two of them sat on the tower incognito.

The city tower was so high that King Zhou felt the cold autumn wind slapping his face indiscriminately!

"Is it cold?" Yang Jian raised his hand and arranged a barrier around them, "Is this better?"

King Zhou gave a thumbs up, "Brother, you are the best!"

At this time, Huang Feihu was gathering soldiers and horses in Chaoge, equipped with food and grass, and had not yet led the troops to set off.The general guarding the Sishui Pass is Han Rong, and his vanguard officer Yu Hua is scolding outside the city.

"Child Jifa, as a subject of His Majesty, you dare to betray His Majesty without any reason, and you dare to proclaim yourself King of Wu and attack Sishui Pass. I advise you to surrender early and be slaughtered. Your Majesty may look at your father and your elder brother's face." Let me leave you with a dead body!"

It is true that Ji Fa led the troops to conquer Xiqi, but it was the general Nangong Shi who met the enemy before the battle.

Yu Hua scolded his lord, and Nangong Shi also scolded back: "King Zhou is fatuous and immoral. He imprisoned our former king for several years for no reason, and detained our eldest son of Xiqi in Chaoge to prevent him from returning to his homeland. Now All the princes in the world submit to us Xiqi, and King Wu is the real wise and holy lord."

Yu Hua: "Bah! A child with a yellow mouth dares to boast that he is a holy master! It makes people laugh out loud!"

Nangong Shi: "Does a man who is bewitched by a vixen still dare to say that he is a □□Holy Lord?"

"This kind of personal attack is a bit too much!" Nangong Shi's words made King Zhou unhappy, and he dug out a pack of braised chicken livers from his bag, "Hmph! It's getting cold, let that Nangong Shi eat shit!"

Yang Jian casually squeezed a piece of chicken liver and hit Nangong Shi on the head, and Nangong Shi fell off the horse with a snap.

Yu Hua immediately fought back and said with a smile: "Our Majesty's ability to sleep with a vixen shows that our king is masculine and capable! General Nangong can't even sit still on his horse. Did he stay up all night with some lady last night? Nangong General, if you have a bad waist, don’t try to be brave! Hahahahaha!"

The officers and soldiers at Sishui Pass laughed in unison, Nangong Shi got up from the ground in disgrace, and rode back on his horse.

"Yu Hua, don't be crazy! You are going against God's will to protect the merchant. I advise you to obey God's will and protect me, Holy Lord Xiqi, or you will kill yourself!"

Yu Hua said impatiently: "They're all generals, why are you pretending to be sophisticated! What a holy lord, what God's will! Ji Fa wants to rebel, God's will is all made up by him! Did he ask God's meaning when he made up such nonsense? "He raised his gun and asked Nangong Shi, "Stop rambling here! Aren't you going to attack Sishuiguan? Go there if you can! Nangong Shi! Come here and die!"

Nangong Shi also shouted to each other: "Yu Hua, dismount and accept surrender!"

Yu Hua spat, "Bah! You don't look like a man! Come here and die!"

Nangong Shi: "You dismount and accept surrender!"

King Zhou rolled his eyes, and took a bite of the braised duck paw in his hand, "What are these things!" He asked Yang Jian, "Did you do the same thing when you were fighting before? Have a debate meeting before you start." ?”

Yang Jian sneered, "How is it possible? When I was young, my temper was much worse than it is now. If Uncle Jiang would start a scolding battle like this before every battle, I would have given up serving me a long time ago."

King Zhou laughed and said, "Short oil! Little brother, you have a lot of personality!"

Seeing that he would continue to scold for a while, he took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his hands, then shook off his bundle, and took out a black robe from inside.

"Well, it's for you."

Yang Jian shook off his robe in surprise, and put it on directly.Fits right size waist, just a little uneven stitching, but the style and fabric are very good.

Yang Jian praised King Zhou's craftsmanship, "It's very good, much better than the official robes of the National Teacher Bureau!" He asked, "When did you make it? Why don't I know?"

King Zhou smiled and said, "Last time I sewed a tiger skin garment for the nine-tailed fox, and I think you really want it. Since then, I have been thinking about sewing a coat for you. But I In the past, I only sewed socks and mended clothes. I can do small sewing, but I don’t know how to tailor clothes. In addition, I am usually very busy and rarely have time to do needlework, so this dress was not given to me until now. you."

Yang Jian was very moved. After coming here, King Zhou was too busy. At first, he could help a little. Later, King Zhou completely took over the government, and his contact with King Zhou became less.

But now it seems that although their contact has become less, King Zhou still has his own in his heart.

Yang Jian smiled and asked, "Did you waste a lot of thought to make this dress?"

King Zhou was a little embarrassed, "I won't talk about my thoughts. My needlework is really mediocre, and the stitches are uneven in thickness. Look at the cuffs, which have been removed several times! I'm afraid that there will be wrinkles after sewing, and it won't look good when worn. I also ruined a lot of fabric when I cut it!"

Yang Jian asked jokingly, "Have you destroyed the silk and satin in King Zhou's private treasury?"

King Zhou dug out a pack of duck necks and continued to gnaw on them. He said heartlessly, "Silk and satin are not considered a waste. I made the clothes smaller and gave them to Nezha." Spitting out a bone, King Zhou asked, "Didn't you notice that Nezha's clothes have changed a lot recently? They are all black robes, very distinctive." After a while he added, "And the stitches are super ugly."

Yang Jian: "..." I still think it's cheap...

The two ate and drank on the tower, and showed off their love again, but they still haven't fought yet.

King Zhou ate the last piece of duck neck, and he smashed his mouth, "The snacks are all finished."

Yang Jian handed him a handkerchief to wipe his mouth and hands, "You don't need to do this in the future, it's too salty to eat."

King Zhou frowned, "The food in the palace has the same taste. It's okay to eat at first, but there are so many cooking methods, and you get tired of eating it. I secretly made these stewed goods in the bedroom. Do you know how much it is?" is it hard?"

"No matter how difficult it is, eat less, salty!" Yang Jian pulled King Zhou up, "I don't think there will be a fight next time, let's go back first! When you want to come out to watch the battle, I will bring you back!"

King Zhou nodded obediently, "Okay! You go back and review papers with me!"

Yang Jian withdrew the barrier, and the two were about to go back to Chaoge. Before leaving, King Zhou suddenly turned his head and rushed downstairs and shouted: "Nangong Shi! You are my grandson, don't be cowardly if you are kind! You should go for it... Uh huh! Well!"

Yang Jian covered King Zhou's mouth and immediately took him away. When he returned to Chaoge, Yang Jian released King Zhou.

Back in the bedroom, Yang Jian said to King Zhou: "Ji Fa attacked Sishui Pass just after he succeeded to the throne, and outside the pass he just yelled and didn't do anything. Let's do it!"

King Zhou felt the same way. Ji Fa had just succeeded to the throne, so the government should not be clear about it yet!He may start the war now because the Southeast War is coming to an end, and he wants to rebel at this point in time.But it is strange that he led his troops around the Sishui Pass but did nothing.

After hearing Yang Jian's words, King Zhou immediately summoned his important officials to discuss the matter with them.

Yang Jian also appeared in the Shouxian Palace where the matter was discussed. King Zhou introduced: "Ji Fa, a traitor of the rebellious officials of Xiqi, attacked Sishui Pass with handsome troops. Director Yang is good at Taoist magic, so he went to investigate Sishui Pass specially. He found Ji Fa Surrounding Sishui Pass, Xiqi General Nangong Shiye just had a scolding battle with the vanguard officers of Sishui Pass, as if he was delaying time. What do you think is the reason?"

Huang Feihu was still gathering troops just now, when he suddenly heard about this, he couldn't figure out what was going on for a while?He hesitated and said: "Could it be that Ji Fa is waiting for reinforcements? Waiting for people from the southeast and southeast to come to support them?"

Bigan shook his head again and again, "King Wu Cheng's words are wrong. The southeast and southeast regions are hard to protect themselves. Where can there be spare troops to support Ji Fa?"

Wu Yun said: "I think that the prime minister and King Wu Cheng are justified. However, I think that what Ji Fa is waiting for is not reinforcements from the southeast and southeast, but negotiations with the southeast. For Ji Fa, The combination of the three places in the south, east and west is the best choice now."

The others nodded after hearing this, "Minister Wu is absolutely right."

Huang Feihu stroked the beard on his chin, "I'm afraid it will not be easy to form an alliance. Ji Fa is too young, Jiang Wenhuan who wants to come to Donglu and Eshun from Nandu will not be convinced by him."

Wu Yun said: "King Wu Cheng, the battle situation is different! If they don't unite, they will definitely lose the battle. Besides, Ji Fa just attacked Sishui Pass as soon as he succeeded to the throne. It may not be a show of sincerity."

King Zhou and the others felt that Wu Yun's guess was the closest to the truth.

At this time, a senior doctor who didn't talk much and had no sense of presence spoke up. He stood up and bowed, and said to King Zhou: "Your Majesty, you and all the adults have forgotten Beibohou Chonghouhu."

King Zhou asked, "You mean, Ji Fa will join forces with Chonghou Hu?"

The senior doctor's name was Yao Zhong, and he nodded nonchalantly, "Chong Houhu... some...some behaviors... are not very good. If he is bewitched by Ji Fa, he may follow Ji Fa to rebel ah!"

King Zhou laughed. He guessed that Yao Zhong just wanted to say that Chonghou Hu had a wicked mind, but because of his self-cultivation, he didn't want to speak small things behind others' backs.

"Yao Aiqing's words are very true, so how do you think this matter should be handled so that Chonghouhu can obey orders obediently?"

Yao Zhong thought for a while, "Your Majesty can send Chonghouhu to attack Xiqi. It just so happens that Director Yang has a sophisticated escape method, and he can start from Chaoge anytime and anywhere to secretly observe Chonghouhu."

King Zhou secretly smiled, this old man is quite courageous!Actually developed Xiaojiro's carrier pigeon function.King Zhou immediately decreed, "Aiqing's words are justified, and I will decree to send Chonghouhu to attack Xiqi, and Director Yang will send battle reports everywhere!"

After the courtiers dispersed, King Zhou sat on a chair and laughed foolishly.From now on, my elder brother Zhenjun can’t only have the nickname of Xiao Erlang, he should also be called Little Pigeon or War Reporter Xiao Erlang.

Chonghouhu is currently fighting with Ji Fa, and Chonghouhu has won a huge victory.Reporter Kojiro ahead sent a report.

Thinking of such a scene, King Zhou couldn't help lying on the table hahaha, and finally Yang Jian took him away by the collar. "You have eaten something bad! What are you laughing at?"

King Zhou smiled and said, "I was thinking, should I add the front report you sent to Chaoge Broadcasting. Hahaha..."

When Yang Jian figured out what the front report was, King Zhou's head was almost bald by his rubbing.

King Zhou, who was brutally raped, lay on the leather mattress and sighed. It seems that one should be kind!If you can't be kind, then you have to insist on not washing your hair, so that others don't dare to rub your head...

King Zhou's order to Chonghouhu arrived in Chongcheng soon. Yang Jian calculated that the time was almost up, so he flew to Chongcheng, intending to see how Chonghouhu reacted.

King Zhou stayed in the palace, and Nezha also stayed in the palace with him, practicing his marksmanship by the way.

Tired from practicing, Nezha put away his silver gun, wiped his sweat, and asked, "Your Majesty, when will you let me go to war?"

King Zhou looked up at the sky, and said absently and perfunctorily: "Children should study hard and practice martial arts. Fighting has nothing to do with you!"

Nezha was upset, "My master said I was the first officer! Why don't you let me fight!"

King Zhou counterattacked even more unhappy, "Because here, what I say has the final say!"

At this moment, Yang Jianfei came back, and King Zhou ran over and asked, "How is it?"

Yang Jian sighed, "Fortunately, Yao Zhong reminded us, Chongcheng is really a mess!"

King Zhou felt cold, "Is Chonghou Hu colluding with Ji Fa?"

"It's worse than that. Chonghouhu has been killed by his brother Chongheihu, and now Chonghouhu and his son have been beheaded for public display. Chongheihu can win, and there are traces of Xiqi's operation."

King Zhou beat his chest and stamped his feet, "Damn it! I'm really convinced!"

Yang Jian continued: "After the death of Chonghouhu, the people of Chongcheng were overjoyed. They saw Chongheihu flanking the road to welcome him! I think Chonghouhu has done evil all these years, and almost no one in Chongcheng turned to him."

King Zhou sighed and covered his forehead, "Oh! There is no chance to create civil strife..."

Nezha leaned over and said, "You sent me there! I'll kill that Chong Heihu who killed my brother, and I'm sure you'll have nothing wrong with you!"

King Zhou pushed Nezha away, "No matter how weak I am, I won't hire child labor! Hurry up and practice guns! Before the sun goes down, I will let Yang Jian check! If you don't practice well, I will beat you!"

Nezha curled his lips and went to practice the gun, he said: "Don't be so arrogant, one day you will beg me to be a vanguard officer!"

King Zhou rushed at him slightly, but he didn't know that the day of employing child labor was not far away...