We didn't die at the end

19

There is no need to go into details about the days of the last semester of the third year of high school, but it was just monotonously reviewing and brushing up questions, and occasionally someone screamed profusely after a few hours of fighting with Wenzong: Why didn’t the end of the world happen!Why do we still have to face the college entrance examination!The person who howled after that would quickly realize what was going on in the next class and immediately silenced.

Therefore, I think that a sudden accident is enough to deter those moaners who say "I want to commit suicide" all day long, and make them truly realize the importance of life.Cherishing life is such an old proposition, but I still want to mention that no matter what, it is always better to be alive.

My performance in the college entrance examination was neither good nor bad. The main reason was that I lost Xu Wei in the last few months, and my math did not improve substantially.Admit a middle school graduate 211 to read the Chinese Department.This is not very comforting news, but I still thought about telling Xu Wei.On the afternoon when the admission letter was mailed, I went to find Xu Wei, and found that he had taken out the stack of papers from the bookcase and put them on the desk, and was busy filling out a math paper.I was so moved that I almost jumped on him and hugged him.

I was screaming with excitement, Xu Wei was too busy doing the work and didn't lift his head.His mother served us fruit and whispered to me: The doctor said he was almost recovered.I rushed to Xu Wei's side, and judged with my weak mathematics knowledge that Xu Wei's IQ hadn't been lowered because of the drug treatment for more than half a year - after all, it seemed that his speed of doing the questions was the same as before, and it was three times as fast as mine. .Then I took the reference answer he put next to me, and roughly checked the questions he had already done: Fuck you, brother!Review for another year, isn't it up to you to choose domestic universities!

Only then did Xu Wei speak: Well, not only for myself, but also for him.

I laughed out loud and beat Xu Wei's shoulder wildly: Brother, you finally have this awareness!I am so moved!

Xu Wei threw me away and started laughing: After all, he sacrificed his life for it, so he must want to see me in good shape.

Xu Wei did not disappoint him.A year later, he was admitted to a top domestic prestigious school, and got the only exchange qualification in the department in his sophomore year.Everything seems to be back on track, but the choked voice on the phone across the ocean at Christmas every year, and the fact that he hasn't seen anyone around him for so many years remind me: he doesn't let go.

I came out of an interview in the provincial capital, and before I had time to change into a formal suit, I squeezed onto the train and went back to our small city to look for Xu Wei.I, an unfilial son, went straight to Xu Wei's house without passing through the house. As a result, he, an unconscionable guy, started laughing as soon as he saw me. He laughed so much that I thought I had bird shit on my face—and he told me : I've never seen you look like a dog.

Well, academically accomplished Americans like you don't try to stimulate unemployed youth like me.I rolled my eyes.

He smiled: "But your suit is very good. I will wear it tomorrow and accompany me to see him."

Xu Wei told me that after the accident, the grade director was dismissed and became addicted to cigarettes. Half a year ago, he was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and there was no cure.This is what his mother told him after hearing about it. Xu Wei didn't say anything more after saying a few words.He has been reluctant to mention this person all these years, so I wisely didn't ask more questions.

The next day we came back from the cemetery and went directly to Cheng Yihuan's house.I do know that Xu Wei will visit Cheng Yihuan's parents every time he returns to China, but I have never been here with him. The last time I came here was after an accident five years ago, and we helped move things from the school.Five years ago, it was a brand-new bungalow villa surrounded by luxuriant vegetation and a few begonias planted in the courtyard, swaying unaware of the sufferings of the world under the light spots.Looking at it now, the exterior walls that were painted white in those days are now mottled, and the castle-like houses have been covered with a layer of dust from the old days.His father had just returned from a business trip abroad, and he was very busy.Even if you want to stop and abandon everything, life doesn't allow it.

His parents seemed to regard Xu Wei as their own family members, their eyes were extremely loving, and they held his hand and talked endlessly.Later, it was said that no one would inherit their family business in the future——I almost spit out my mouthful of water, looked at Xu Wei in horror, and thought: What kind of idol drama plot is this?Are you going to become a diamond king, Mr. Xu Wei?

It turns out they were just beating around the bush trying to get to something else.

It's like this, his mother said, we want to adopt a child, and the family will support each other in the future.Cheng Yihuan is such a kind child, he will never hope that we will spend the rest of our lives remembering him, and he will never hope that anyone will sacrifice all our happiness for him.He doesn't want us like this, and he doesn't want you like this.

She looked at Xu Wei, with tears in her eyes: You are such a good child, go and have your own life, he will bless you.

The room was silent, we all stared at Xu Wei.After a long while, he said: I'm sorry, Auntie, I may...can't do it.

"It's okay," he said with a smile, "I'll be with him when I finish my life."

He and Cheng Yihuan's mother's tears fell down at the same time.

Xu Wei and I pushed open the door of Cheng Yihuan's room on the second floor, everything inside was exactly the same as five years ago, everything was not dusty, it seemed that someone often came to clean it.

I remembered the first time I came here five years ago, I saw a box on Cheng Yihuan's desk, and there were a bunch of messy little things in the box, which was incompatible with the high-end feeling of the whole room.I picked up a piece of scrap paper torn from the draft paper, on which was the graffiti of the math teacher in the next class, and it was clearly written by Xu Wei's soul.I picked up another half-used pen: what is this?

Xu Wei identified it: This seems to be a pen I lent him, and then the ink ran out when he was using it, so I said there is no need to return it.

One by one, I picked up those badmintons that had fallen out in a mess, paper clips that were first straightened and then bent into five-pointed stars, and let Xu Wei identify them. The final result was that this big box was full of things related to Xu Wei.At that time, Xu Wei was holding the box of things, and seemed about to burst into tears again. I couldn't bear to see his expression, so I walked to the French window on one side and opened the curtains.

——And now I am standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, the words Xu Wei said to Cheng Yihuan's mother are still ringing in my ears. Garden, they pointed to the tombstone and said to him: Your name should also be engraved on it.

What should be written in front of the identity?Xu Wei laughed.

"Just write... my lover."

On this day of the year, I opened the curtains like five years ago, and there was a tree of crabapple flowers outside, shining brightly.

-The End-