Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

"Ryan, get up."

Ryan buried his head deeper into the pillow. "Take the door when you go out. I'm going to sleep until noon. I'm resting today."

"Your significant other wants to talk to you."

Ryan forced himself to open his eyes, staring sleepily at Tristan, "Jamie's here? Now?"

Tristan raised his eyebrows, showing a playful expression: "Being his girlfriend is hard work, Hannah."

Hannah laughed and walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and perfectly put on.

"I'm used to the platonic love between their men," she said. "If someone forced Ryan to do this to James, he would throw up, and I know that, or I would be jealous to death. I think they The base love is very cute."

Ryan stretched and sat up. "We're not cute." He muttered, trying to shake sleepy off. "Don't use 'cute' to describe a man. Tristan, unless you're here to admire me Flesh, or get out of here."

Tristan studied Ryan's bare chest carefully. "You're really, really sexy."

Ryan glared at him. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome." Tristan sounded like he was just talking about the weather. "One more thing, my vision is very high. If Zach wasn't Zach, I would have slept with you a long time ago."

Ryan sneered. "As long as I have the slightest interest in men, I would have slept with you a long time ago. You are much more beautiful than Hannah."

"Hey!" Hannah protested, laughing.

"What? That's it," Ryan said.

Hannah looked at Tristan and giggled: "Well, there aren't many people who are more beautiful than Tristan anyway."

Tristan had a tired expression, "Stop, stop talking."

"Stop pretending to be uncomfortable," Ryan teased him. "I've heard Zach call you Babyface so many times, that's too much."

Tristan looked at Ryan with a very sweet and very menacing look, "You're not Zach, only he can call me that stupid. Get out of bed quickly, don't let your Jamie sweetheart wait for you gone."

"Let him come straight up," Ryan said.He climbed out of bed, letting the quilt fall on his feet.

"Hello!" Tristan turned his head flushed.

"I warned you." Ryan gave Hannah a goodbye kiss before flashing into the bathroom.

He simply took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and walked out.

Hannah and Tristan were gone, and Jamie stood at the window looking out into the backyard.

Ryan stopped in his tracks, frowning when he noticed Jamie's tight shoulders. "Jamie?"

His friend turned around, and the look on his face also worried Ryan.

"We need to talk."

Ryan laughed: "Are you going to break up with me?"

Jamie didn't smile, and if anything, his eyes were darker. "I..." He looked away, "Please put on your clothes first."

Ryan's brow furrowed even tighter.He quickly put on sweatpants and a T-shirt.What is James doing here at this hour?Ryan is resting today, and James is not resting.

"Speak?" he said as he got dressed.

"I lied to you," Jamie said.

Ryan laughed, which sounded harsh. "It doesn't get any better than 'We need to talk'."

A pale smile played on James' lips. "I know. I'm sorry."

"For lying?" Ryan said.

"Because I lied, and because of what I'm going to tell you next."

Ryan's hands clenched into fists.He hid his hands in his trouser pockets. "What's the point of apologizing without saying what you have to say. Just say it."

Jamie bit his lower lip, "I..."

"Say it straight up, Jamie," Ryan said tentatively, fear welling up inside him. "Are you sick? Seriously?"

Jamie blinked. "What? No!"

Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. "Then what the hell are you going to say, you idiot, you fucking scared me to death."

Jamie bit his lip again.

"You know I love you," he said awkwardly.

Ryan sighed, "I love you too, man. What the hell are you trying to say?"

James pursed his lips, and looked away before meeting Ryan's eyes, "No, I love you."

Ryan felt like his insides were all tangled together.

Jamie can't... that's what it means.

Jamie looked very pale and very brave.Ryan stared at him, the remaining hope fading away: That's what Jamie meant.

Ryan moved his jaw, turned his face away, and tried his best to get his messed up brain working again.The last thing Jamie should see right now is him scared to death by his words.But honestly, there was a part of him that wasn't too surprised.After going through that night a few weeks ago, experiencing Jamie's dependence in the kiss, and hearing those frustrated words that Jamie said afterwards, the thought flashed through Ryan's mind once or twice, but he felt It's ridiculous, and totally ignored.

It still seemed absurd now—hell, that was Jamie, his best buddy, the little brother he'd always thought needed his protection.Jamie shouldn't feel that way about him.

"Don't be silent," Jamie said, his voice hoarse.

Ryan forced himself to look at him, "Damn it, don't look at me like that, I'm not going to kick you out."

His stern tone didn't take away the fear and sadness on Jamie's face.Jamie's blue-green eyes widened, and he took a step back.

"Sorry." Ryan softened his tone, raking his hair anxiously, "I'm not angry—not angry with you." What made him angry was the situation, and himself.How could he be so blind?Looking back now, there are indeed some clues in Jamie's behavior.

Jamie wanted him.Jamie fell in love with him.Jamie suffers from this.

All because of him.

Ryan wanted to hammer something to vent, but there was nothing for him.This situation is not easy to solve.He can't tell Jamie that "everything will be fine", there's nothing he can do to fix the situation.He's straight, has an amazing girlfriend, and they're very happy.He really never looked at Jamie that way.

There was nothing he could do for Jamie.

"Are you sure?" Ryan said, his voice hoarse as sandpaper.This is the worst thing that can happen between them.

"Yes," Jamie's voice was barely audible, "please don't hate me."

Ryan squeezed a few expletives through his teeth, and he moved closer to Jamie, hugging him tightly, "I don't hate you, you fool." He buried his nose in Jamie's hair, "Don't ever think like that .”

"I'm sorry," Jamie murmured, "I screwed up, I didn't intend to—it just happened."

Ryan stepped back so he could look him in the eye. "You can't blame yourself for falling in love with someone."

He forced a playful smile, "You have such good taste, how can this be your fault?"

A faint smile played on Jamie's lips, but the rolling of his eyes was less than genuine.His eyes were still moist and his face was very pale.Ryan felt a pain in his stomach.He was the one responsible for Jamie's expression.

Ryan gritted his teeth and cupped Jamie's face in his hands. "Listen," he said, looking hard into Jamie's eyes, "I promise I'll do whatever it takes to fix this. If you want, I'll find you the best boyfriend in the world. One who can Make you fall in love with someone who will give you happiness. How about it? Huh?"

Jamie gave him a shaky smile.Ryan told himself that a smile was better than no smile.

"You don't have to do anything," Jamie said, "I didn't tell you before, but I knew you wouldn't let it go." Jamie smiled even brighter, "It's not your fault, it's my stupidity. I'll be fine of--"

"Stop it," Ryan said, "Stop pretending it's okay."

"There's a problem," Jamie said.He smiled at Ryan, looking a little heartbroken, as if he didn't know what that smile had turned him into, "Yes. But there are so many people in the world who can't love. When I decided to confess to you , I'm not sure what I want, but I don't expect anything from you. I know you don't have that kind of affection for me, I know you love her, and you're happy with her." Jamie's eyes were a little too Brighten up, "There's no need to change anything, just... just don't expect me to be the best man when you marry her, okay? I can't do it, not even for you."

Ryan felt as if the ground was moving under his feet.He could only watch as Jamie lied again that he'd be fine, forced a smile, said goodbye and left.Ryan stood motionless, feeling sore, and forced himself to retch and not to drop things.

Instead of making love to Hannah tenderly that night, he fucked her hard and roughly, venting his anxiety and anger.Jamie forced a dodgy smile into his eyes.When she came moaning and shaking, he pulled it out, rolled out of bed, and went to the bathroom.

He stared at the naked body in the mirror, at his heaving chest and his erect penis.He remembered the countless times he had shown Jamie how happy he was with Hannah in the past, and he had hurt Jamie without thinking and knowing.

Countless times, he told Jamie that he loved Hannah.Countless times, he kisses Hannah in front of Jamie.Countless times, Jamie responded with a big smile.

Ryan punched the mirror.