Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

Ryan slowly opened his eyes, looking at the light golden head resting on his shoulder.Jamie's warm body was clung to him, his legs draped over his lap.Jamie was still awake, his long pale eyelashes fluttered, but his eyes didn't open. He smiled in his sleep, and the hands around Ryan's waist tightened again.

They are all naked.Of course they were both naked: they had sex.This time he couldn't argue that he was drunk or insane.This time he's not a passive character anymore, not at all.

Ryan tightened his jaw.He had sworn to himself that he hadn't flown to Russia to throw Jamie into another mess.Originally, these messy things shouldn't have happened, that's all.

But here he is, naked, with his best friend, also naked, who he just fucked on his stomach.This best friend is in love with him, this best friend shouldn't be hurt by him, it can't happen again—unless he finds out what the hell he wants.

Jamie grunted softly in his throat, sighed, and moved in his sleep.

Ryan couldn't help leaning forward, buried his nose in Jamie's hair and dawdled.His heart was filled with love.God, he misses him so much: misses his presence, misses his smile, misses all the warmth he brings, misses their bonding, misses Jamie.He kissed Jamie on the forehead, wondering why he had such a naked liking now.Just hours before, he'd fucked Jamie harder than anyone he'd ever fucked in his life.For weeks and months he had been driven mad by these contradictory desires and thoughts.He can neither let the two blend together, nor get rid of them.

He wondered what would have happened if Luke hadn't disappeared.He'd like to say he's staying away from Jamie, but deep down, he knows what he's going to do.According to the current development of things, he can last for a few weeks at most, and then he will go all over the world to find Jamie, so that they can be "glued" again into Siamese twins, but fuck common sense.

"If you frown a little more, your eyebrows will grow together."

Ryan looked at Jamie and saw that his eyes were still closed. "woke up?"

Jamie yawned and moved closer to Ryan. "No."

Ryan laughed and ran his fingers through Jamie's hair. "Jamie."

"I'm not awake." Jamie's bare feet slid down Ryan's legs.

Ryan's muscles tensed, and some of his sentimental emotions receded into the background, and another came out to take over.His emotions changed so quickly that he felt a little at a loss.Now, the feeling of holding Jamie in his arms is no longer warm and dizzy, but instead, he just feels hot.He was keenly aware of the touch brought by the smooth white skin under his body.He realized that his hand was sliding up Jamie's leg, touching the thigh lightly, and wrapping the round buttocks with perfect precision.Jamie was not like him. Jamie was slippery all over, and his skin was as soft as satin.

"Someone is dishonest," Jamie said softly, looking down at him from behind his eyelashes.

"Is your ass shaved or something?" Ryan said, pinching Jamie's buttocks, trying to distract himself from picking up those long wheat-colored legs and carrying them on his shoulders.He wanted to penetrate Jamie again.

Jamie giggled, running his fingers through the sparse black hair on Ryan's belly. "No shaving. No hair at all." Jamie's hand slid lower and lower, taking Ryan's erect cock loosely and affectionately.

But there was nothing "casual" about the way Jamie looked at that cock.He licked his lips with his tongue. "I think I miss eating it more than I miss you."

"It hurts." Ryan tried to keep his voice as soft as possible.He cleared his throat. "Dude, we gotta talk." Dude.It was a strange word coming out of his mouth.It was so wrong, it was as if the word was no longer appropriate to describe their relationship.It's really not suitable.Ryan realized it all of a sudden, he even felt something click inside himself and everything fell into place. "Jamie?" he called, his heart beating faster.

Jamie blinked and looked up at him.

Ryan held his breath.Jesus, he was... Jamie's eyes were shining in the mid-day sun, almost completely green, his cheeks were red from sleep, his pink lips were parted, and Ryan felt...

Fuck, he felt like he wanted to eat him.He wants to possess him, he needs to jump on him, penetrate him, get into him, he wants to brand him, love him, enjoy him, take care of him, own him, use everything he has Jamie was stuffed to the brim—

Ryan rolled over and threw himself on Jamie, who let out a gasp. "Jamie," Ryan called hoarsely.He buried his face in Jamie's neck, greedily sucking the skin there, making a "tsk tsk" sound. "Jamie. God, I want you." His hand had already parted from Jamie's thigh, and now he was stroking impatiently.He wanted—he needed—to be inside him, and the urgency was overwhelming him.

"Okay," Jamie gasped, sounding surprised.He ran his fingers through Ryan's hair.

"Go ahead. Do whatever you want."

This sentence gave Ryan a shock.

He couldn't remember how he stretched Jamie, how he put a condom on.

When he finally—finally—entered, Ryan growled and shivered with delight.Hold.He was more satisfied than having his cock clamped in a tight hole was that he was in Jamie.Ryan closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation for a moment, but he wanted to move urgently, he had to.

They moved while kissing.The two tried to find a slow, steady pace, but Ryan's body was clamoring for more.

As the speed got faster and faster, the pleasure piled up higher and higher, the sound of skin collision was mixed with the groans of the two, and the big bed was also shaken "creak".The sex was intense and lustful, Ryan's body had never reacted so violently to anyone or anything, it was so horny, as if it wanted to fuse their bodies together.That's what he thought.

Soon, Jamie's moaning became louder and louder, unscrupulous, full of desire in his crying, burning with desire.

Ryan propped himself up on his elbows, and he stared at Jamie, watching him collapse step by step—Jamie's fair cheeks were flushed, his lovely eyes were distracted, his pink lips were slightly parted, and he gasped intermittently— See Ryan wanting to swallow him whole.

Ryan growled, kissed the other man on the lips, kissed Jamie carelessly, and fucked harder and harder.I love you, I love you, I love you.This sentence was stirring in his blood, and he pushed forward again and again, all he wanted was to penetrate a little deeper, a little deeper.The bodies of the two were shaking, and Jamie's moan was tinged with pain, his arm tightly held Ryan, and the rhythm of the two's movements was no longer followable.

"Ryan—" Jamie said hoarsely against Ryan's lips, and he curled up and trembled.

"Cum, Jamie." Ryan fucked hard. "Cum on honey—"

Jamie cried and cummed, his insides clutching Ryan's cock alluringly.

Ryan also let out a low growl, let go of his semen and ejaculated.He spread his arms and buried himself in Jamie's neck, panting as waves of pleasure flooded him.

What the hell.

God.Will every sex with Jamie be this intense in the future?

The thought froze him.

after?

"Ryan?" Jamie said. "Is there something wrong?"

Ryan didn't answer, trying to sort through the jumble of thoughts and emotions in his head.

"Ryan?" Jamie said hesitantly, a hint of fear in his voice.Ryan wanted to hold him tightly in his arms and run away with his fear.

Hold.

"Ryan?"

He lifted his head and looked down at Jamie.

Jamie frowned, his blue-green eyes still soft but cautious in the aftermath of his orgasm.His red, swollen lips caught Ryan's eye.

Yes.

Pull it all down.

He laughed, a sense of relief flooding his body. "What should come will always come."

"What?" Jamie seemed even more frightened. "I do not understand."

Ryan hesitated, he didn't know how to explain this, because he didn't understand it very well.He rolled off Jamie, took off the condom and threw it in the trash, then leaned over Jamie and watched him. "My mind has been a mess for the past few months," he whispered, putting a hand on Jamie's belly.He couldn't help but want to touch Jamie. "I have always regarded you as an object of protection. Although we are not related by blood, you are the brother I love the most in my life. But at the same time, I feel very happy to fuck your mouth, even though I thought it was a mistake to treat you that way .I was terrified. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I was getting dizzy, so I'm getting you dizzy too."

"now what?"

"Now I don't think of you as a brother." Ryan looked him straight in the eyes. "I don't think I'm a pervert. It was just a figment of my head. I think they're right: You can get used to anything, given time." Ryan's lips curled into a smile. "I guess I'm getting used to it. Calling you buddy feels weird to me now."

"You mean..." Jamie's eyes lit up with a distinct spark of hope.

"Yes." Ryan said.He rubbed Jamie's navel with his thumb. "I want you, and I don't think there's anything wrong or weird about it anymore. Don't get me wrong: you'll always be my bestie, but it's more than that. Friendship isn't enough for me, I want something more A lot." The corner of his mouth curved into a smile. "Now, I want to slap you like a hurricane slaps a French window, then marry you and hold you through the door. They are no longer two separate things. They are not contradictory. I want you, and I want you too. I want to take care of you."

Jamie couldn't help but frown, looking confused. "But...but what about Hannah? I thought you wanted to get back with her. I told you to go back to her."

Ryan sighed, circling Jamie's belly button with his thumb. "We tried, but it's out of tune." He hesitated for a while before admitting, "I'm not a human anymore without you here."

"Really?" Jamie sounded in a good mood, the little rascal.

"Yeah," Ryan said with a bitter smile. "Like I was being a jerk to everyone. Hannah didn't like me that way. We finally agreed that maybe we'd be better off as friends."

Jamie looked at him questioningly. "Are you sorry?"

Ryan didn't rush to answer.He knew that the answer to this question was very important to Jamie. After all, he once blamed Jamie for the failure of his relationship with Hannah, used him as a punching bag, and vented his anger and resentment on him.Jamie deserves an honest, thoughtful answer.

"I loved her," he said finally. "I thought she was the place for me." Jamie lowered her eyes.

Ryan patted his stomach, and Jamie looked up again. "But I was wrong. Now I understand that if you are not here, not only will she not be able to give me happiness, but nothing can give me happiness." He pursed his lips. "Without you, I hate myself, and I don't feel like I recognize myself." Ryan felt naked, but it wasn't because he was naked now.He cleared his throat. "I didn't realize how much I needed you or how bad it would be without you, I didn't realize how out of tune I'd be without you until—until you called the fuckin' phone Break up with me." He stared, not yet completely out of the shadow of this matter.

Jamie had a puzzled look on his face. "I didn't break up with you. We were never together."

"Yes, we didn't." Ryan laughed. "But I felt like it was a total breakup. It was even harder than me breaking up with Hannah."

Jamie looked bewildered. "But that's different."

"Yes, it's different. I haven't spent my whole life loving her."

Jamie's Adam's apple twitched. "No, Ryan," he looked away. "You don't need to talk to this point. As long as you are really willing to go one step further with me, I will be satisfied."

Ryan watched him, then rolled over, pinning Jamie underneath him. "You really think so?"

As he spoke, he looked closely into Jamie's eyes. "Do you think it's enough for me to treat you as... Friends with benefits?"

Jamie shrugged. "Is not it?"

Ryan almost laughed. "It's not enough for me. It's your words." He looked at Jamie's lovely face, and Jamie's features were friendly and familiar, which made his throat tighten. "I love you, idiot. I never doubted that. You are my everything, and I want everything from you, and I want to give you everything; I've always wanted to, I just couldn't do it before." Ryan frowned and corrected himself. "I thought I couldn't." He leaned in and kissed the corner of Jamie's mouth, sniffing his breath. "I was wrong, I had desires for you, I just needed time to get used to it, so that I don't think it's normal anymore." His lips rubbed against Jamie's. "I want you." He bit Jamie's swollen lower lip. "I want you so much. God, if only I could keep my dick in you forever."

Jamie laughed against his lips. "That's a bit too much." He smiled cheaply. "What if I want to fuck you?"

Ryan laughed, pulling himself up a little and looking down at him. "Keep an inch with less, Grayson."

Jamie laughed even wider. "Well... I'd rather be down there anyway, but it's hard to say. I know it's hard for you to say 'no' to me."

Ryan snorted. "Yeah, apparently your dad knows that too. Speaking of Arthur, he told me to tell you, don't make a fuss about it, he's telling you to come home."

Jamie's smile faded, and he scowled. "He would just talk about me and tell me to take on the responsibilities of the family and marry Megan."

"I don't see it that way," Ryan said. "I think I'm not the only one who has figured it out when you're not around."

Jamie's eyes widened.He laughed for a while, then suddenly frowned. "I can't go home. You said Luke had been missing for ten days." He scanned the room, guilt flashing in his eyes.

"I was just sad, and I didn't realize that he was missing for so many days. Look at my friend."

"Maybe he's okay," Ryan said.

Jamie looked at him suspiciously. "Then he should be back by now."

Ryan sighed and lay down all at once. "I know, I'm worried too, but let's not think badly, shall we? I think Luke is getting caught up in his dad's shady business. Maybe old Whitford's... colleagues are trying to take advantage of Luke. He's supposed to be safe. Arthur told me that old Whitford didn't seem to worry much about his son's life, just annoyed at the situation."

"Do you think I'll feel better hearing that?" Jamie said, frowning.

"No," Ryan said seriously. "But even if Luke needs help, you and I can't help him. We don't know each other well, we don't speak Russian, and we don't know where to find him. Besides, your visa is about to expire and you want to stay Not here either."

Jamie still looked unhappy, but nodded anyway. "I know. My dad seems to have acquaintances in MI[-]. I'll help Luke more by going back than by staying. I can tell the MI[-] guys what the man Luke met looked like."

"Yes." Ryan looked away, concealing a sigh of relief.He might be selfish, but he didn't want Jamie here to keep asking questions that might offend someone.Ryan likes Luke, and he's really worried about him, but Jamie's safety comes first.Always like this.

"We're going home this afternoon," Ryan said. "But first I have to get you something to eat."

Jamie rolled his eyes with a smile. "Okay, whatever you want." He climbed out of bed. "But I'm going to take a shower first." He looked back at Ryan and smiled embarrassedly, as if he couldn't believe that he would say such a thing.

"Together?" He held out his hand.

This scenario is a little unreal.

A year ago, someone told him that he would lie naked in a Russian hotel and be invited to take a bath by his best friend, and this good friend was also naked, he would probably laugh out loud, I think this joke is extremely cold.Six months ago, he thought Hannah was his life partner.But now he understands.He has never had only one partner in this life, and he was just too blind to see who is the one who is always by his side.

He climbed out of bed, his eyes fixed on Jamie.

"Ryan?" Jamie tilted his head, his lips parted slightly.God, this guy is so fucking good looking, he's all his own now, he's Ryan's.

"I want to kiss you." Ryan grabbed the offered hand and pulled Jamie into his arms.

Jamie blushed. "I want to kiss you too."

"Then what are we still doing?"

"I don't know," Jamie said, wrapping his arms around Ryan's neck.

"We have to get right." Ryan murmured and kissed her.The kiss was not intense, but very slow, an exploratory, sensual kiss.It felt so good, the love made Ryan's heart throb.He tilted his head and kissed Jamie more deeply. Jamie's mouth was open, his mouth was moist, and he was lost in the kiss.Their tongues twitched and Jamie gasped and moaned, every touch of tongues was like a confession: I love you, I need you, I want you.Oh my god.Ryan had loved Hannah, but had never felt this way with her.Being with Jamie made him feel so complete.

They parted slowly, ending the kiss, both panting slightly, smiling at each other.

"We're going to be laughed at all our lives, you know," Ryan said, sighing, "We've been denying that we're interested in each other for years."

Jamie made a face. "Now Tristan will definitely not spare us lightly."

Ryan laughed. "Isn't he always like that?" Even so, it's fair to say that Tristan has been right all along: as long as you don't think wildly, there's nothing wrong, abnormal.

"Yeah, but..." Jamie shrugged thoughtfully. "He did help me figure out a few things, so I guess I should thank him." He looked directly at Ryan. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be telling you what I really think about you. You might still be with Hannah, and I might still be..."

Ryan's heart twitched, and he saw the pain flash across Jamie's face. Although it was only a moment, Jamie smiled quickly, but this matter was still a problem: After all these years, Jamie Mi kept pretending that nothing had happened, and had to put on a smiling face in order not to add psychological burden to Ryan—this is an old heart disease that has never been truly cured.

Ryan held Jamie's face in his hands, bringing their foreheads together. "Then we'll really have to thank him. We'll be very, very nice to him." A languid smile played on his lips. "Tristan definitely can't figure out why, he will go crazy, but if other people treat him better, he will panic, it's really ridiculous."

Jamie's lips quivered against Ryan's for a moment, and then a laugh broke out in his chest, and he finally let go of the burden and was genuinely happy.

Ryan laughed too, wrapping his arms around Jamie's back and hugging him—his best friend, his love, his other half, his bliss.The labels don't matter as long as they all refer to the same person: Jamie.

end

months later

Luke sat by the pool, looking at the brightly lit mansion.Even in this position, he could hear laughter and music coming from inside.Today is James' 23rd birthday. In view of these days, James basically lives with his boyfriend, so this year's birthday party will be held at Hardaway's house.

After wrapping his arms around his knees, Luke forced a smile.He is happy for his friend, because the life of the other party is finally satisfactory.James and his brother have basically reconciled, although there is still room for adjustment, because Tristan is really not very kind.The brothers still taunt each other sourly, but you can tell they're just kidding.Even the relationship between James and his son has improved a lot: Arthur seems to gradually understand and accept the relationship between James and Ryan, realizing that they are in love for life, and no matter what can separate the two.

Luke also knew that they would indeed be together for life.He had never seen his friend so happy as he was now.Back then, when Luke left him in Moscow, he looked completely different from what he looks like now, and when Luke came back after a few months, when he saw James again, he couldn't believe himself s eyes.

yes.He is happy for James.James' happiness was won by his own hard work.To witness that such deep love exists, and that happy endings don't just happen in fairy tales, is a comforting thing in itself.

Luke bit his lip and looked up at the moon.

It was almost time for him to go back to the house.But god, he's had enough of being surrounded by sympathetic and worried looks like he's terminally ill.He was fed up with telling everyone one by one that he was fine.Of course, no matter what he said, no one believed him.

Movement on the other side of the terrace caught his attention.Seeing the two tall figures standing there embracing each other, Luke smiled slightly.Ryan and James are kissing under the full moon, their hands in each other's hair, their mouths moving greedily and tenderly, as if they belonged to each other.

The feeling of loving someone and being loved by someone must be very pleasant.

Realizing that he was staring helplessly at someone, Luke forced his gaze away, and instead stared at the dark, calm surface of the swimming pool.There was another burst of laughter in the room.Luke swallowed the sudden lump in his throat.It's not the first time he's felt out of place with his friends since returning to England.He felt like he didn't belong here.

But then again, he's also not sure if he has anywhere else to belong.

Behind him, there was the snap of branches.

Luke froze, goose bumps ran up his spine, and a strange familiarity surged in his body and quickly filled his body.

He held his breath, his heart beating wildly in his chest.Bang bang, bang bang, bang bang.

It's also silly.There will be no one behind him.He's gone back to England, home.

That person can't be here.

A large calloused hand wrapped around his neck.

A shudder ran through Luke.This is impossible.This is what he imagined.This cannot happen.

He swallowed, and slowly turned his head.

After being met by those icy blue eyes, Luke couldn't breathe, and indulged in those cold and deep eyes, like a rabbit caught in a hunter's trap.

He can scream.Whenever he called, Ryan and James would hear it.

"Miss me, solnyshko?" said a soft, bewildering voice.

Luke jumped up and kissed the man hard on the lips.

-The End-

About the author

Alessandra Hazard, the goddess of cuteness whose whereabouts are a mystery, is an author who has attracted the attention of the British drama circle in recent years.Her masterpiece "StraightGuys" series has impressed romance novel lovers all over the world with her distinctive and vivid characterizations and sincere emotional descriptions.