Ask your heart and soul

fifteen

Amidst the cheers and applause, countless gold powder and colored strips were sprinkled one after another, and the lights of the audience were all focused on. Cheng Yin seemed to have fallen into a radiant dream.When he was surrounded by a large group of people and returned to the backstage, he was still a little at a loss. He was dazed and dizzy, and he couldn't believe that he really won the championship.

"Congratulations!" The runner-up, Hu Dingshuang, shook hands with him gracefully, and said with a smile, "There will be a lot of media interviews and a celebration banquet later. I guess I won't be able to sleep tonight. Do you want to make some preparations first?"

Prepare?Cheng Yinru was enlightened, and hurried to find the phone.

He wants to call Sui Feng and share the joy of success with him immediately.

Sui Feng had been waiting for this call, and picked it up as soon as the ringtone rang, his tone could not conceal his excitement: "Xiao Chengyin, I knew you could do it!"

"Brother Sui Feng!" After saying these three words, Cheng Yin choked up.He didn't cry when he sang on stage just now, and he wasn't excited when he was being chased by thousands of people, but Sui Feng's voice was like a spark, igniting the strongest emotion in his heart, a sour and hot feeling in his heart His chest exploded, and tears flowed out involuntarily.

"Silly boy! Why are you crying?" Sui Feng said funny, "You're going to be a big star, so you can't cry like you used to?!"

"How can I!" Cheng Yin quickly wiped the corners of his eyes, humming pretending to be dissatisfied, "You say that every time."

Sui Feng smiled: "Yes, yes, you didn't, our little Cheng Yin is the strongest."

Tonight's Sui style was extraordinarily gentle and pampering, Cheng Yin was reluctant to hang up the phone, and pressed his ear to the phone tightly, wanting to hear more of his voice.

"Brother Sui Feng, do you... want to come?"

"Come what?"

"There will be a celebration banquet later, I want you to accompany me." Cheng Yin unconsciously took on a coquettish tone.

Sui Feng hesitated for a moment: "Let's forget it, what identity can I come in?"

"My brother!" Cheng Yin said without thinking, suddenly thought of something, blushed slightly, bit his lower lip, and asked again, "Or, do you want to use another identity..."

This is already the most hinted that he can say.After saying this, Cheng Yin put his heart into his throat, and he was not so nervous even when he was standing on the stage waiting for the final result.

However, Sui Feng avoided his temptation again, and said casually: "I'll pick you up after the end, enjoy the celebration banquet, make more friends in the circle, it will be useful in the future."

"Oh." Cheng Yin's heart fell instantly like a jumping machine, empty like weightlessness, and indescribably disappointed.It's not just because of Sui Feng's avoidance, but also because he so much hopes that all the glorious moments in his life can have Sui Feng's figure.However, Sui Feng didn't want to come to watch his game live, and he didn't want to come to the celebration banquet. He would rather hide behind the scenes and be an invisible person.Sui Feng was not like this, he was such a high-spirited and unrestrained person, the breakup three years ago changed him, and the cruel real life also changed him.

It is precisely because Cheng Yin understands that his heart aches.He subconsciously pressed the position of his heart, and said softly: "By the way, tonight, brother Bai Wan chose me."

Sui Feng was silent for a while, before saying: "Yes. I saw it."

"That's why I said, brother Baiwan didn't target me, brother, you are too narrow-minded."

Sui Feng didn't speak, but Cheng Yin felt the struggle and tear in his heart from the rapid breathing.

"Brother, why don't you go and call Brother Bai Wan?" Cheng Yin smiled, but his eyes were wet again, "I know you still think about him, no one has been in a cold war for so many years, you two can make up soon !"

After Sui Feng and Cheng Yin said goodbye, they sat on the sofa for a long time.The lights at home were not turned on, and the heavy darkness pressed down like blocks, making him a little out of breath.He really wanted to drink, but thought that he might have to drive to pick up Cheng Yin later, so he tried his best to hold back.For so many years, life has taught him to be a man step by step. He has learned to be patient in many things, and he can only find an outlet for his emotions through drinking. But later, he promised Cheng Yin to restrain himself and cheer up.Sometimes he also finds it strange that Cheng Yin's temperament looks soft, but inside he has a power that cannot be underestimated, and he always changes himself subtly.

And Bai Wan didn't do this.

When he and Bai Wan are getting along well, it's like being in paradise on earth, but when they are having trouble, it's like sparks hitting the earth.No, it was sparks hitting the iceberg. Whenever Bai Wan was stimulated, she would seal herself tightly, never say a word, and always treat her with indifference.You have no way of knowing what's buried under that thick layer of ice.The more it was like this, the more Sui Feng wanted to break his protective layer, but in the end he hit himself with cuts and bruises all over his body.

Enough!

Sui Feng stood up abruptly, his heart was beating violently, he shouldn't listen to Cheng Yin's words and go to Bai Wan again, but those words were like a curse, which took root in his heart, within ten minutes, It has grown into a towering tree.

Sui Feng gave a wry smile in resignation, picked up the car keys, and went out.

He actually didn't have Bai Wan's new phone number, but the urge to see Bai Wan was so strong that he still drove the car to Bishui Home.

Sui Feng bought this address with money, but this time he encountered trouble when he wanted to enter the community. It turned out that Bai Wan asked the guard to remember him and prevented him from entering.

Sui Feng had no choice but to park the car on the side of the road and wait.

He felt that he was so stupid. Bai Wan might have come back a long time ago, or he might not come back at all. In either case, the possibility of him waiting for him was very slim.

Sometimes waiting for someone, like loving someone, requires a lot of good luck.

Fortunately, Sui Feng's luck was good tonight, Bai Wan's Phaeton appeared around two o'clock in the morning.

As the car lights swept over, Sui Feng immediately honked the horn a few times, the piercing sound of the car pierced the quiet night sky, and pierced Bai Wan's eardrums.

Bai Wan tilted her head in doubt, and found Sui Feng's car, her heart skipped a beat.

What else is this person doing here?

He was extremely tired tonight, and he was not in the mood to deal with Sui Feng anymore. No matter what his intentions were, Bai Wan didn't want to deal with him.

However, Sui Feng felt a bit reluctant, not only ran out of the car, but also knocked on the window of his car.

"White night!"

Bai Wan let out a deep breath and rolled down the car window.

"What's up?"

This is it again.Seven years of relationship, three years of separation, it seems that there are only three cold words left between them.

Sui Feng closed his eyes and said in a low voice: "I have something to say to you, can you give me a little time?"

Just as Bai Wan wanted to refuse, she was stunned when she met Sui Feng's dark eyes.He once again saw a look of pain in these eyes, which the original Sui Feng could never show.

Bai Wan got out of the car.

Leaning on the side of the car, Bai Wan lit a cigarette. He had quit smoking for a long time, but tonight was a special situation, and he couldn't get rid of his depressed and depressed mood. On the way back from Media Asia, he went to a convenience store to buy this pack of cigarettes.

"Want one?"

Sui Feng didn't refuse, he pointed at Yingfeng and took a deep breath.

"You can say whatever you want." Bai Wan looked at his watch symbolically, "I only give you 5 minutes."

Sui Feng said sincerely, "I'm here to thank you."

"no need thank me?"

"Thank you for choosing Cheng Yin in the end."

Bai Wan seemed to have been stabbed by something, and was slightly bumped.He really didn't want to hear Cheng Yin's name again, he wiped out the cigarette butt, turned around and opened the car door.

"Bai Wan?" Sui Feng hurriedly stopped him, "What's wrong with you?"

Bai Wan sneered: "You don't need to thank me, do you think I really want to choose him? If you want to thank me, I would like to thank you, Cheng Yin. He did really well tonight, and there is a big boss from China Overseas Music as the backstage. There is no way to pick a stab."

Sui Feng became anxious: "Do you have to speak in such a weird way?"

Bai Wan looked at him expressionlessly, with sharp eyes that seemed to poke a hole out of him: "Is this the first day you know me? I've always been like this."

"No, you weren't like this before." Sui Feng frowned in pain, "You were nice before, and you were nice to me, why? Why did you become like this?"

"...you get out of the way first!"

Sui Feng had no intention of giving in at all: "Why did you leave the band to sign the contract? Is it because I didn't respect your wishes and chose the entry song recommended by Cheng Yin? Just because of such a trivial matter? Leaving me easily? Leaving the band? Leaving our relationship for so many years?"

Sui Feng completely exploded.He had kept these questions in his heart for too long, but he never had the chance to confront Bai Wan face to face.They were caught off guard when they parted at the beginning, and it was already a long way to go when they met again.Until this moment, in this deep, deserted night, in the face of the daytime night when all the bustle is gone, he can speak freely.

"Or, are you blaming me for not agreeing with your music philosophy? Yes, we had a lot of quarrels at the beginning, but we can communicate. Why did you leave without saying a word?"

Bai Wan pursed her lips tightly like a clamshell, without saying a word.What can he say?Can he say it's because I'm jealous, because I'm cowardly, because I'm filthy possessive, because I hate thinking about myself?Because I am afraid that I will not be able to bear the increasingly intimate relationship and collapse?

In the final analysis, because he is too selfish.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.He owes Sui Feng and the band an apology, sincerely.

Sui Feng excitedly pulled his shoulders and shouted: "I don't want to hear this sorry!"

"Then what do you want?" Bai Wan suddenly raised his eyes, and Sui Feng was surprised to find that the corners of his eyes were red, and there was a faint glint of water.

Completely different from Cheng Yin, in my impression, Bai Wan seldom cries.At least, no tears were shed in his face.Only in the year when we first met, Bai Wan was the last one to arrive before a performance.He had complete makeup and hair, but his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had cried.But when Sui Feng asked him, he didn't admit it, only saying that he didn't have a good rest.It was later that Sui Feng found out that it was Bai Wan's birthday that day.After that, he would spend every birthday of Bai Wan with him, and never give him a chance to be sad again.

But now...

Facing Bai Wan like this, Sui Feng suddenly couldn't say a complete sentence: "I..."

Bai Wan turned his face away, the night wind blew coldly on his face, bringing a sharp pain, he looked at the endless dark night and said in a hoarse voice: "I can only say this sorry, the past is the past If you miss it, you can only miss it, and no one can do it again.”

Missed can only be missed? !

These words exploded in Sui Feng's mind like gunpowder, causing him to freeze in place.It was only after the smoke cleared that he came to his senses—it turned out that Bai Wan knew about his feelings for him, and also knew about the quietly deteriorating relationship between them. Maybe he knew it from the very beginning, maybe it was after these three years. Precipitation is clear.But in any case, he showed his attitude - if you miss it, you can only miss it.

Sui Feng let go of his hands dejectedly, took a half step back involuntarily, and murmured: "You are right, no one can do it all over again."

It was like a fire that burned all internal organs, Bai Wan felt like she was an empty frame, and would be scattered on the ground in the next second.But he didn't want to show weakness in front of Sui Feng, so he forced himself to smile at him: "Since that's the case, let's all look forward!"

With that said, he opened the door again and got into the car.

His hands were shaking violently, and his feet were also shaking, but if he didn't start the car, Sui Feng would inevitably see the clues.So tremblingly, he lit the ignition, and drove the car crookedly towards the parking lot.

Sui Feng watched Bai Wan's car passing by him, and closed his eyes in despair.

At two o'clock in the morning, before the celebration banquet was over, Cheng Yin was already dizzy from drinking.He was one of the protagonists tonight, although he was not used to such an occasion, he was dragged by Su Xu to toast for several rounds.

This kind of banquet, on the surface, is to celebrate the winners this time, but in fact, it is just a gathering for the bigwigs in the circle to exchange resources and select newcomers.

"You performed very well tonight." After drinking for three rounds, Su Xu finally let Cheng Cheng groan, and took him to sit aside to eat and order.

Cheng Yin was already hungry, but couldn't eat anything, his face was flushed red from alcohol, showing a bit shy and pleasant: "Thank you, Mr. Su, for your love."

Su Xu thought to himself, this child's singing is very different from his private appearance. When he sings, he is very strict and full of aura. He is just a little white rabbit in private!He has to watch closely, the entertainment industry is surrounded by tigers and wolves, don't be kidnapped.

"After signing Zhonghai, there will be more opportunities," Su Xu said, "Brother Fu has been praising you, and he appreciates you very much."

"Brother Fu?" Cheng Yin didn't react for a moment.

"It's Fu Ye!" Su Xu said with a smile, "He never attends this kind of banquet, but he just sent me a WeChat message to invite you to dinner and see when you have time."

Cheng Yin was a little surprised: "Are you treating me to dinner? But why?"

"Why do you say?" Su Xu winked narrowly, "Of course I like you! Don't miss such a good opportunity!"