[Comprehensive] Police Chronicle

On the contrary, he sacrificed a lot. Perhaps without himself, his plan went smoothly, and now he would not be as obedient as a prisoner, allowing himself to question, doubt, and reveal his sincerity to be slandered.

Aizawa pulled Liu into his arms.

"no need to say sorry."

After a moment of silence, Liu broke away from him and took a step sideways to face the river, leaning on the railing of the bridge with his elbows.

"Shota Aizawa, step by step to bring the world back on track, this is just the beginning."

Liu called him by his full name, which was serious enough.

"As long as my behavior is indebted to the world, you have to lock me up with iron chains, seal me up in a sarcophagus, and sink me into the bottom of the river."

It turned out that it was what Liu said, if he could die Aizawa was the only suspect.

Yoo trusted him so much, trusted his objectivity and judgment, to prevent himself from falling into mistakes and mediocrity, so he let him play the role of the suspect.

Thinking about it, Liu is sober, and the world is crazy.

"We can't threaten each other, offset it."

Aizawa took Liu's file bag, took out the recording pen that was working in his pocket, broke it into two pieces and threw it into the river together with the file bag.

Liu looked calm, without any surprise, just took Aizawa's hand, and gently put on the ring that was still warm on him.

The river is rushing, the bright moon is hanging high, and the past remains unchanged, everything is as it was yesterday.

The author has something to say: the official end

☆, extra one

"Jump down! If you don't jump out, don't say it's my brother, you coward, jump!"

Laughing and drinking in the river is my brother by blood and in law, the first person I saw when I was born, but I've always had a hard time with his forceful way of talking.

No one knows whether I can swim or not, and neither do I. I only know that I will not die.

I stood on the railing, inhaled and collected my breath quietly, and under another round of his instigation and instigation, I jumped down pretending to be impulsive.

"Pfft!"

After half a second of weightlessness, there was an overwhelming cool liquid, which was a pleasant feeling in midsummer. I calmly balanced my position in the water, struggled a few times in front of his eyes symbolically, and then held my breath and sank into the deep water bottom.The drowning symptoms in medical books are not difficult for me to pretend.

In any case, my dear brother who instigated and forced my four-year-old brother to jump into the river today was miserable.

If dad comes back, he will suffer even worse. I really believe his words that no one has a dad, but if they are acting, they will all take it seriously.

The oxygen was slowly exhausted. I opened my eyes in the water and looked at the sun through the water. The light became so unpredictable. I saw him swimming towards me, paddling a light blue shadow, his face puffed up, his eyes full of anxiety.

Such a nervous expression appeared on the thick skin of a heartless person.

The current was fast, and I deliberately slipped into the deep water.The water in the deep water area of ​​this year is not shallow. I don’t know what kind of unnecessary worries he was holding. After grabbing me and wrapping my waist, he immediately went upstream, pressing his lips against mine, and put the mouth in his mouth. Pass the air in your mouth to me.

The water was cool and his lips were hot.

I wanted to close my eyes and pretend to be dizzy when he was about to catch me, so at this moment, he became my unique sense organ, and I even tasted the taste of aquatic plants from his clumsy tongue.

This is my first kiss.

To make things big and make him suffer, I need to keep pretending to be dizzy or even dead.

Whether his incorrect CPR nearly broke my ribs, or he hung me upside down on his back, throwing my guts into a mess, I didn't say a word, didn't move.

In the end, he rushed me to the hospital in a hurry, and my mother came and gave him a beating that was worthy of my torment.

He was fined to stand on the corner of the wall for two days, and I lay comfortably in the hospital for two days.

At that time, I was simple and easy to be satisfied. Although I had doubts, I thought the world was so beautiful.

The day I was diagnosed as personalityless, I didn't really feel it.

My senses have always been separated from the people around me, and I feel lost when I don’t speak. I just feel that every action I take now will affect my mother’s emotional nerves ten times and a hundred times more than before.

My brother's reaction was beyond my expectation. When I entered the house, I was still waiting for him to say a few sarcastic remarks. I cried a little, and then asked my mother to clean him up again.

But he acted as if it was him who had no personality, and looked at me with distressed eyes that hesitated to speak, as if I was not personalityless, but my legs were broken and my hands were disabled.

It was only later in school that I realized that in this world, people without personality would really be regarded as disabled.

On the contrary, the powerful force makes civilization regress, at least the thinking is getting closer to the beast.The child became arrogant, selfish, noisy, and ugly. I didn't bother to be an obedient child, but I didn't take the initiative to disturb others.

They bullied me because of jealousy or ignorance or stupidity, and I stood up for me.But I don't need to.Those little bastards have taken countless dark losses from me and haven't hurt me at all. They are not opponents at all.

I don't understand, why did my brother do this for me, like me?Because of what you like, blood relationship?

I asked him, and he said it was out of loyalty, the so-called sense of justice.

I suspect that this answer is his unrealistic big talk, a rhetoric to cover up and hide his feelings, and I think he admits it is for me.

On the opposite side of the commercial street, I found a few suspicious-looking people walking around the gold shop. I stared at them for a long time, and found their hyena-like greedy eyes and guns hidden behind their waists. They must be setting up a spot for robbery.

Someone patted my head behind me, and I saw a young and handsome face with a temperament very different from the people I usually see, like a thin dog crawling out of the gutter, living by instinct and following desires, disdain to pursue higher things Food, just want to find ways to fill the stomach.

"How old is the kid?"

He asked with the peculiar strange voice when adults talk to children, and his eyes showed infinite pity and covetousness for lovely and beautiful things.

I glanced at his backpack and decided he was one of the robbers: "Are you still here tomorrow?"

His expression said everything, I thought he wouldn't touch me when people came and went in broad daylight, so I said: "I wish you a smooth operation."

He looked at me in surprise, and I turned and walked away.

I'm going to do an experiment.

The next day, I found a suitable time to lead my brother to the opposite side of the gold shop, and told him about my speculation and the inappropriateness of calling the police.

Then, wait for him to back off.

What people loosely call fate is usually a folly of their own making.

Later I found out that the man who asked the question was called Kurosawa. When he and my brother died for the first time, they looked at me across the street with amazed eyes, as if looking at a child transformed from a poisonous snake, a demon drinking the blood of a close relative.

After that day, my mother's attitude was very unfriendly. She is a sharp woman who dares to think and act, and has a strong sense of ethics and morality. In this matter, she mourned the loss of her own flesh and blood, and at the same time thanked herself for being free from incest.

I didn't know it when I was six, and I barely understood it when I was sixteen. Whatever my psychology, I began to resist seeing her, and she began to counter my resistance, so I stayed away from home for longer and longer.

Right now I have to take full responsibility for the stupid things I do, to figure out the source of my brother's beliefs and the source of my questioning his beliefs, so being a professional hero is imperative.

The day before Xiongying entered school, Ms. Liu told me.

"I hope you change, Xunya, don't be brave, because the world won't change."

I stayed up all night because of this problem, and when school started the next day, I met Aizawa for the first time.

I watched him so carefully, not only because of his personality like my natural enemy, but also because of his face that was four to five points like my brother.But what attracts me the most is his sense of dissociation, lightly participating, watching, and inclusive. I like the way he looks at people. At that time, he made me feel that he was more clearly defined in the crowd than when he was alone. sober than me.

The few years of studying and doing heroic work in Xiongying were the most confused period for me.

Liu Xunyi's death was caused by me alone, but I couldn't understand such a loss, so I could only slowly accept this fact.

Five or ten years later, his ghost still haunts my life.If it were him, how would he deal with this enemy, if it were him, how would he face the chattering media and fans, would he be disappointed in the professional hero industry, or would he think about changing?

I'm not him, unable to make the choices he would, just stuck wandering in his shadow.

When he was alive, I played around with him, and the retribution was not good. After he died, my life was messed up.

Manic depression, the consciousness drifts day and night in a gloomy darkness and great despair, the body is out of control, sometimes excited, sometimes lost, and the mind is giving itself pain and warnings soberly.

When I laughed, the sense of separation became more and more clear, as if my soul lost its way and broke into a world that had nothing to do with me. I was depressed because of this momentary happy moment of losing my thinking, as if in my natural blood, there was only tragedy besides madness, and my short-term happiness existed for long-term sorrow.

For a suffering and helpless person, some you only need to give him a little kindness without being so indifferent to save him from collapse, while others need a lot of companionship, care, selfless love and infinite tolerance to gradually heal.

And me, you have to stay away when I get sick, it's for your own good as well as mine.

Please stand on the sidelines in a place where I can't see, otherwise as long as you get close, I can't help but step you into a quagmire deeper than I am, just for fun.

Madness is in a sublime sense the source of all wisdom, and I was fascinated by death.

In addition to the overwhelming pain at the crazy moment of facing death, I gained the pleasure of mastering my own life.

After resigning and retiring, I browsed the forums, and the direction of media public opinion was not good. I only saw some fans venting their emotions. They were disappointed, sad, and hated. I watched briefly, and my mood gradually calmed down.

They don't think I'm like me at all. Within half a year, these people won't remember me. People are ruthless and forgetful.

His ghost finally crouched quietly in the shadowy corner of the room.

I'm not going to leave him, but I'm going to be by his side.For the same destination, I reached a farther end from another road.

The teenagers who lost their loved ones inherited their behests and embarked on completely different paths, which are not uncommon.But I didn't take his dreams seriously from beginning to end, and his beliefs were just a part of my thoughts.

I don’t know anyone who, like me, was both delighted and terrified of my existence in this world. The world and the universe are so huge and unsettling, why people can exist like this, how the universal laws of society and life are formed, and whether the world’s operation is guaranteed to be absolutely correct correct.

I have been puzzled by it since I was a child, and occasionally I was so shocked by the hazy truth touched by the tentacles of my mind that I couldn't sleep peacefully-this world is not right.

I was helpless and desperate, because I didn't agree with the way life made me go. For a while, I thought I was wrong, and the reality recognized by the whole world must always be correct. It was really stupid for me to try to resist the established facts of society with strange beliefs.

When I was growing up, I was confused about my sense of mission to absolute things, which is different from ordinary people. The world rejects me because of this. Why do I only have this feeling? Are my demands too unrestrained? Others in the world don’t enjoy them very much What about my personality and life, I shouldn’t live in the present world, maybe I was born in the wrong era, and I deserve this pain.

It was Aizawa's words at the bar that confirmed me, and it can also be seen as I want to think so, so I understand his words so well.

I don't have to change.

It doesn't matter if people don't hear what I said, one day, when what I predicted is practiced by me, people will be covered by what I said for a lifetime.

I gradually believe that my brother is a kind of instruction and inspiration in my destiny. Without him, I must pursue something completely opposite to what I am pursuing now. If this one is crazy about pursuing the correct order, that one will be crazy The pursuit of chaos and disorder.

Aizawa is my lost guide, making me pursue firmly and believe that I am right.

I have a firm understanding of the pursuit of meaning in life itself. Although this pursuit makes me extremely painful and does not allow me to see the dawn of meaning in this difficult pursuit, if I do not pursue meaning, I would rather destroy myself than live in peace in the world.

Liu Xunyi, my brother, he doesn't mean anything, I don't love him, he's not my rein.What really defined me, what I really loved, was him in death, the death of what he meant, the moment when he died for a heroic belief in full glory.

What kind of miracle is the altruistic nature of human beings evolved from beasts, I still can't figure it out.But people other than his blood remembered him, and its existence remained in the world beyond the limitations of time and space.

Creating immortality and confirming existence is the meaning of all life.

If he was alive, I wouldn't love him like this, and I don't need to use media to remember him dead.

The medium is a face similar to his. I can't lose the few people who can put my love in the end. Even if I ridicule and despise everything in the world, I can't become insensitive.So I need Aizawa, I want to see him all the time, love it through him, and then firmly believe in the way I walk, keep my way, and regulate my behavior in the world.

I have ideas, but thinkers must fail in politics, the theory is rigorous but the reality is absurd.Politics is about positions, not philosophy.

Defend ideas with actions and achieve goals with means.

I have watched the evening like the last judgment on the battlefield countless times, and the dilapidated street like a cracked wound in the sky. The scarlet light in the depths of the sky may be a sunset, or it may be burning gunpowder. Poor world.

In such a place, the smoke from the burning tobacco needs to pass through the lung lobes and relax the nerves.

In the first few months after I returned to Shizuoka, I prepared a plan and planned to quit smoking. Sometimes I wondered why the stage was set here. There are Ms. Liu, Nezu, and Xunichi here, all of which are uncontrollable factors of the plan. Think about it Go, have to admit ridiculously, there is Aizawa here.

I didn't quit smoking until I met Aizawa again. It was both accidental and inevitable. The secret of impersonality was finally exposed. I agreed to the terms of the transaction, I quit smoking, I lived with him, and I put on his ring.

I know it's not fair to Aizawa.

But what Aizawa loves may not be me, what he loves is his own love.I need him, he needs my needs.

How boring he is to force himself to fall in love with me, and hypnotize himself that he is complete only with me.He is a healthy and complete person, and it is his illusion from beginning to end that he needs me to complement him. He just hasn't adapted to loneliness, and he tries to cover it up with love.

I pity him for not wanting to understand this, and I thank him for pointing out the maze for me instead of my brother, I like his loneliness with my kind, and I love to hear the sound of blood flowing in his warm neck, so I accept his kiss and his He is so depressed and lonely, and this irreversible characteristic makes him only desire me.

But the goal is set, and I will not stop when bloodshed is necessary, as long as bloodshed is beneficial to achieve the goal anyway.

In my relentless pursuit of change and justice, they are not the goal.As a living individual with complex thoughts, the root of human behavior is subjective. When I pursue something, what I give back to people is my own feelings. What makes me satisfied is not the result of things, but the meaning of the result to me.

All my life, what I have pursued is to know myself and realize myself.

I think I love him, I know I'm using him to create a taint, to take away his specialness, but in the end, only his presence can make me believe that there is something bigger than myself in the world.

☆, episode [-]

The moment I saw Liu Xunyi's photo, I was not only not sad, but even somewhat complacent, just like the time I accidentally heard Ms. Liu talking to the photo later.

"If I had transplanted that heart earlier, you would have become a demihuman too. But I can't imagine what it would be like for you to live to this day, you and Xunya, you..." She choked with fear and disgust, "It's a good thing you died gone."

So I confirmed once again that the person who caused all this is the selfish, paranoid, bold, lonely, sick, despicable, shameless, contemptuous, inhuman and immoral Liu Xunye, he is the real Liu Xunye.

These one-sided but fair judgments make Liu sound terrible, and can you imagine how mediocre Liu would be without them?

In the sense of existence, Liu appeared to create miracles that ordinary people could not achieve.

He also loathes himself, but I see my soul only through his foggy gray eyes, and I see him as if I were looking at myself through a shattered mirror.

What's more, what I see and understand is far more than that.

He despises everything around him, and once reflected on the idea of ​​hating himself. He couldn't stand the world disappointing him one after another. At the same time, he questioned internally and externally, wondering if he was the only one who was dissatisfied with the status quo.Even he couldn't stand against the whole world forever and stick to his absolute right position. Worrying about others and his own being different made him fall into deep self-loathing for himself, and bottoming out made him angry and determined to be selfish and persistent position.

However, his experience and thinking different from ordinary people have already deeply rooted self-loathing in him, so his whole life has become an example that if he does not love himself, he cannot love others. Self-hatred has also become the same as extreme egoism, and finally produces It's the exact same horrible isolation and despair.

He has ideology and spirituality that the nation he was born in is not good at, and philosophical thinking that runs counter to this nation. The more he is sober, the more painful, and the more he knows, the more he is torn apart. He has a struggle against pain, and a madness that is equal to despair. .

Madness is the limit of human beings in the field of animality, and death is the limit of human life in the field of time.He transcends boundaries, does not belong to this nation, does not belong to this era, he was not even born here voluntarily, but was abruptly inserted by some force with the purpose of witnessing tragedy and struggle.

Therefore, the whole world is rejecting and pulling him, and he is also fearlessly fighting back against the world. Only I am grateful for his coming.

I was wandering on the border of sobriety, accepting everything, questioning everything, vacillating, and spending this life in a daze like everyone else. It is completely conceivable to me. It is his appearance that makes me stop escaping from reality. Let me start to no longer limit my thoughts, I start to set boundaries, not to let myself be trapped in any small circle, to examine every interpersonal context in myself and the traces left to me by the world.

In my eyes, perhaps only those who really know how to get along with others can be sober and isolated like him, while others are more or less pathological and need to blend in with the crowd.

But similar and different from him, he is richer and more fragile than me in spirit, his path is better and more difficult than mine, the reality I accept is difficult for him to accept, I am a participant in this world, I belong to this world, and my thoughts occasionally wander , vaguely testing the boundaries beyond the world, met him.

We are alone and incomplete, incomplete and complete. If the power that made Liu Tuyu was born here exists, then the people in the whole world who appear around Liu are all part of Liu. The big ones, including me... are all part of Liu's personality, coercing Liu Hui into that force, making Liu's untimely existence a matter of course.

Thoughts are chaotic, I can’t express them, they can’t be understood, spiritual loneliness drives people crazy, and the number and extent of my exploration of the depth of thinking are far less than Liu, who suffers more loneliness than me, all the time.

The more I understand him, the more I feel that I don't understand him. He is more difficult to be understood than anyone else, so he is more worthy of my understanding than anyone else.

If the energy he wrings out of the soul can jolt people out of their slumber, then let me wait and sink.

Because the tragedy of our world is precisely that nothing can wake it from its lethargy, that people stop having nightmares, stop introspecting, stop opening their eyes, and pass their lives in vain.

Thinking is self-torture. I understand those who live only in their shells all their lives, and admire their simplicity and shrewdness in life.After all, after thinking about it to the end, I still don’t know anything, like walking into a hopeless maze, but desperately looking forward to the exit.

Back to reality, all I know is that I will forgive Yoo for taking advantage.

And it is a rational and uncomplaining forgiveness, although he may not need my forgiveness, assuming he does.

He underestimated my rationality, and I also overestimated my trust in him. It is always difficult for two people who are too smart to get along peacefully.

Thinking about it carefully, it may be optimistic to say that he underestimated his trust in me, and I overestimated his rationality.

The reason why he set up such a trick and exposed so many lies to me is because he is willing to believe that I will not betray him.

This may be the way we get along, full of secrets, he throws doubts, he is unwilling and unable to hide those who may give him great love, and then I discover his secrets, obviously trust, morality and ethics have become Fragmented, but they can miraculously heal and accept each other. The whole is like an absurd farce, which is not fundamentally different from the dispute between the lost girl and her boyfriend that Liu dealt with.

They are such people, and we are such people, but they have fallen into the same absurd predicament. Class solidification and economic development have worn away human nature. No matter who is confined to his own world, he refuses to understand each other. For sensitive people Said that such estrangement and indifference are unbearable, we must keep each other warm, otherwise we will freeze in the cold winter created by human hearts.

But there was one thing Liu didn't know.

Before Xiongying started school and Liu met me, I met his brother.

At that time, I was young, and I didn't quite resemble Liu Xunyi in appearance, so I knew Liu in advance from his mouth.

Since then, I have been curious about Liu, and the entanglement with him seems to be fateful.

The short encounter with my classmate before the end of the three-year summer vacation was not a coincidence, but I did it on purpose. I collected clues, inquired about his location, and followed his direction. Blood, his mocking look at the crowd, his gray eyes full of mystery.

I saw him run, I saw him fall to the ground out of breath, I saw him come back from the dead.

Yes, I knew his immortality before knowing he had no personality.

He stood up, stood against the wind before continuing to set off, and stagnated for a moment.

Where he looked, there was a large expanse of water far away from the land, and his detached thoughts made him independent, like a wandering soul isolated from the world, strands of black hair fluttering in the wind, the vast sea and smoky space approached him Unfolding, light filled his body, echoing the radiance between his heart and bones.

what did he seeWhat was he thinking about?

I want to know, I am even willing to abandon my body and live in his eyes.

I am too normal, too conventional, so I yearn for a crazy and unconventional person like him, the obsession born of yearning, the desire to spy and control born from obsession.

It is said that tolerance is love tainted with arrogance. It is through this kind of tolerance that I tacitly control him bit by bit.

At the last class reunion, I was so drunk that I forgot to meet Liu.

In fact, my memory is cut off from the time I left the bar. I remember every word I said to Liu, every leading word I carefully prepared.

What I have never been used to is his confused look, but I like his pretentiousness, he should always be proud, aggressive, and trample the pain under his feet when he is tortured by mental illness... I will hug him like that, even if He stabbed me.

So what was I thinking when I learned the cold-blooded truth of his plan, handed him the ring after I had been taken advantage of?

My morality, right and wrong and my adrenaline, dopamine torn apart.

Actually, I knew the answer a long time ago. I carefully and patiently tore off his life-like camouflage that wrapped me tightly, layer by layer, never tired of it, obsessed with obsession, how could I give up on him, who else in this world has such There are so many secrets, who would tolerate being stripped of all privacy like this, Liu is actually more tolerant than me.

Naturally Liu doesn't love me, but he never wants to leave me in this life, his eyes always fall on me, desire to possess, desire to confess, involuntary disgust and lust, isn't it infinitely close to love.

And my love, maybe just the agreement with his views and thoughts, admiration and admiration for his personality, especially wisdom is irresistible sexy and charm to me, my hidden aloofness makes me only love him He has desires and is a genius.

I have the talent to listen, and I have the desire to listen more. I like secrets better than being deceived by them. He from different worlds and his many secrets are fatally attractive to me.

Maybe this relationship has never been about hormones, only narcissism and deceit. Maybe we all try to love each other deeply, believe in each other's specialness, and pay more attention to each other to temporarily forget the mediocrity around us and forget to hate ourselves.

The love Liu gave me, and the only love he could give, was to deceive, squeeze and coerce each other.The essence of his love is a life-and-death murder.

The love I give him is infinite tolerance, secret guidance and control, spectating and having nothing to do with him.The essence of my love is an insatiable puzzle game.

Both of us are obsessed with controlling and being controlled, and we love each other deeply.

Or maybe it's not him who I love, I fear the world, everything but him, love the man I'm passionately seeking in life, love the world he came from.

Perhaps true love has always been so absurd and dirty, and it is more likely that this nightmarish and distorted era has alienated everyone, so that only such distorted love can be born between people.

But desperately, even though I discovered all the truths about reality and my heart, I still couldn't stop loving him.