he lived

After taking a taxi back home, I went to the 24-hour convenience store to buy some food. When I walked into the convenience store, there was still that familiar face.

"Ah, it's still so late."

"Yes, there is no way to work overtime."

"It's been hard work."

I was still familiar with the politeness, and after finishing a few words as usual, I picked up the food I had chosen, nodded after paying the bill and continued walking to the residence.The place where I live is an old-fashioned office building, and the residents are relatively stable. Even the cashiers in the nearby convenience store are old faces for many years.

After staying in a familiar place for a long time, people will always feel lonely inexplicably, especially when you go home alone in the middle of the night, looking at the black stairway, you can even feel fear.I suddenly thought of that person again. At the age of 34, did he feel the same way as me when he went home alone? Every day, he faced the dark corridor and opened the door to face the dark house. The high coldness of the bone marrow can even freeze a person to death.

Throw the shopping bags on the table and turn on all the lights in the house.I threw myself into a bathtub filled with water. Even at the beginning of the hardest work, I chose a room with a private bathroom. At that time, half of my monthly income was handed over to the landlord, and the rest The income is only enough for me to gnaw on the discounted bread at midnight and type on the keyboard in the studio.

All of this just to have a private space of my own, there is so much time in this world with other people.Only in this small space can I feel safe and comfortable with my own.I took off the drenched underwear that was tightly attached to my body, and I lay naked in the bathtub, not caring whether the water was clean or not. I buried my head in the water, enjoying the feeling of suffocation. Only at this time, you To feel that you are still alive.

I can't control my thoughts recently. If I remember correctly, this is probably the seventh time I think of that person today.I'm not a person who can't control my imagination, especially recently there have been several outsourced jobs with high unit prices. I once wanted to complete the work earlier, but this person always appeared to disturb my thinking.I think about it when I drink coffee, I think about it when I type on the keyboard, I think about it when I look out of the window, I even think about it when I take painkillers for a stomachache, and many people in this building have it , whether he ever had one.I know, I'm obsessed.

I couldn't help being obsessed, after all, I watched him jump off.

Yes, that day, when he fell like an angel's broken wing, I was standing at the window with coffee in my hand.And he landed on the ground at about the same time as my coffee cup.In the first few days of the incident, I was like crazy. Every day, I was thinking about the scene of that day, the way he fell, the speed of the fall, and even his facial expression.Especially his expression is so serene, which makes me feel a little pious. The expression of such a suicide makes me feel pious that he saw God welcoming him back to heaven.