he lived

It got worse and worse until one day, I woke up and couldn't get out of bed, I was lying in bed and I thought about it, but I couldn't control my body.

Simple getting up and getting out of bed, such insignificant things, I find extremely difficult, like a high paraplegic patient, no one to take care of him, lying in bed waiting to die.I worked hard for a long time, but I still couldn't control myself. I could only stare at the ceiling with my eyes open. I couldn't even think, and my mind went blank.I just looked, looked, and saw that my eyes were sore, and I started to cry. I don't know if this is caused by an instinctive physical reaction or a strong emotion. I am like a dead body, a dead body that can cry, lying on the Can't move on the bed.

I don't know how long it took, maybe four or ten minutes, or maybe more than an hour, before I regained control of my body and sat up staggeringly. At this moment, I finally made a decision, I don't want to I survived like this.

The last stage of a person should always have a sense of ritual, but I really don’t want to do anything now, even taking out yesterday’s leftover pizza from the refrigerator and heating it makes me feel extremely difficult.

I knew that before I left, I should return the rented house, and I could not dirty their house and let them suffer unjust losses.I have to say sorry to the customer who took the order before, maybe I can't continue to fulfill your needs.Finally, I want to tell my acquaintances who have a good relationship with me that I may go on a long trip, and if they have something to do with me, they will not be troubled by not being able to contact me.But all of this, I can't do it now.

I'm sick, I've never been so sure, I'm a sick person now.Every day I wake up, I hate myself more than before. I can’t believe it. Now I’m the one who breaks down and cries and crazily pulls his hair just because the air conditioner remote is out of power.I feel that I really can't go on anymore, and I really want to leave, but occasionally I would like to have someone to talk to me, and I began to miss the days when he was still there.

No matter what, the problems in this world will always be solved one day, no matter what the ending is, they will always be solved.Death is also a way to solve problems.

When I woke up this morning, I got up naturally, and my body was not out of control, which is really a rare experience.

I went to the bathroom to take a shower, and while I was shaving, I stared at the new blades for a moment, but just shaved.I wanted to cook another meal for myself, but I obviously overestimated my current ability, so I finally took out my mobile phone and ordered takeaway.

Now I can no longer taste the original taste of Xiaoli’s Xiaolongbao and Hu spicy soup, but I still finished eating them without any leftovers.He washed his face again, changed his clothes, and walked out of the house.

The sun is shining outside the house. Today is Sunday, and there are many people on the street. There are couples and a family of three. I didn’t hitchhike, but just walked mechanically. The place where I live is only three stops away from the city’s bridge.This unhealthy body started sweating after walking for a while. I didn't feel uncomfortable, and even enjoyed the feeling a little bit.

It may be because of exercise, but my mood gradually rose a bit. I looked at the bustling crowd on the road. Not far away is the bridge park in this city. Kites are flying in twos and threes in the sky. It is estimated that parents are taking advantage of it. I brought the kids here on Sunday.I suddenly doubted my decision. The world should not be so hopeless. Am I really going to leave it?

Within a second, my heart began to refute: This world is indeed not so hopeless, but what does it have to do with you?No matter how ordinary and beautiful the lives of the people you meet along the way, what does it have to do with you?

Yes, what does all this have to do with me?Along the way, no one I know, no one greets me, no one even smiles at me.I continued to walk on the road mechanically, and I could already see the upper bridge entrance of the bridge in front of me. I decided that if I walked on the bridge, as long as someone smiled at me, I would turn back.

The scenery on the bridge is very good. It is also a famous tourist attraction in this city. I walked all the way to the center of the bridge.

I looked around. On Sunday morning, there were not many pedestrians on the bridge, so I climbed over the guardrail and jumped down.

In mid-air, I suddenly saw him again. On that day, I watched him fall like an angel’s broken wings. On this day, I saw his complete wings, with golden radiance, and a gentle expression. Smiling at me, I involuntarily stretched out my hand to let him take me back. He smiled and stretched out his hand, leading me into eternal darkness.

END.