where did the ancestors go

Yu Tang and Asen walked together for a whole day, and the sun rose from the east to the center, and then gradually set to the west.At about two o'clock in the afternoon, the disgraced Yu Tang and Asen finally saw a figure on the vast African prairie.

"Master, I can't walk anymore." Asen asked for help.

"Boy, persistence is victory. Listen to my command, you can win battles, and you have a good style. Be good, and when you find your ancestor, I will give you a military medal." Yu Tang cheered Asen up.

"Master, the military medal is half of mine and half of you." Asen put his hands on Yutang's shoulders, his tired face turned pale.

"Asen, look at the ditch ahead, there seem to be three people." Yu Tang said with his hands on the awning, squinting his eyes.

Asen heard this and looked forward, "Master, why did I see three black monkeys?"

"Nonsense, Africans are black of course. Asen, we finally found someone!" Yu Tang excitedly took Asen's little hand and ran forward.

When the two people ran to the front, they could see clearly that there was a ditch in the dirt, and there was no water in the ditch, but there were three black people sitting there.These three blacks are different from the blacks who play basketball in the NBA. They are short and thin, and they are quite rough. Their faces are different from those of Orientals and Europeans. Their hair is short and twirling, like Hanamaki, apparently native to the African savannah.

The three people were sitting in the ditch, when they saw two people in Yu Tang passing by, one of them, who looked like a big brother, stood up and came to the two of them.As soon as he stood up, Yu Tang found that this buddy was about the same height as him, but thinner than him, but he had a bulging belly. There was only a piece of animal skin like a brief underpants covering his body, and he was still naked. feet.

Yu Tang muttered, "Oh, let me go, this guy still has one of the four great artifacts, not bad."

Asen couldn't understand, so he asked: "Master, what are the four major artifacts?"

Yu Tang glanced at him, thinking that he had been persecuted by capitalism since he was a child, and it was understandable for him not to know, so he explained: "The four great artifacts, diamond rings, breast shields, triangle baskets, and condoms!"

"I don't understand," Ash shook his head.

Yu Tang said patiently: "The vajra circle is the vajra cut of Taishang Laojun, and the triangular basket is the briefs. Look at the one he is wearing. As for the other two, you must know."

Asen: "Then why is it called the Four Great Artifacts?"

"Why do you have so many?" Yu Tang asked back.

Asen didn't dare to ask any more.

Seeing that Yu Tang and Yu Tang had been talking for a long time, the African natives couldn't get in. They finally waited for the two of them to stop talking, and hurriedly chattered, and then spit at Yu Tang when they finished talking.

Yu Tang's violent temper was unbearable, and he rolled up his sleeves and was about to fight, but Asen hurriedly stopped him, "Master, don't be impulsive, I heard that the African natives spit on others to say hello and hello."

"What? What dick custom, I don't think I've ever been beaten!" Yu Tanghuo rushed up.

"Master, don't be so uncivilized, let's be more polite." Asen complained.

Yu Tang shrugged his shoulders, "Look at his appearance, he must not understand. It's all right. But you remind me, we really have to be more polite. You see, he didn't even introduce himself, maybe he didn't have a name. Shall we give him a name?"

A Sen agreed with Yu Tang's proposal very much, and said, "Then call him Ah Hei."

"No." Yu Tang rejected the proposal, "You see that the two in the ditch are also thieves, can you tell them apart? I suggest, since you like Jesus so much, Asen, let's call him Shuan Zhu."

"Master, does Shuan Zhu have anything to do with God?"

"Call me Aye."

"Master, the name you chose is so ugly."

"Then call it Asu. Firstly, you like Jesus. Secondly, your ancestor's name is Naersu. Let's call him Asu. It's a good omen. Maybe he can help us find your ancestor."

Yu Tang's proposal this time was quite pertinent, and Asen nodded and agreed.

Besides, the African native Asu, who had a new name, obviously couldn't understand the conversation between Yu Tang and Yu Tang, so he waved his hands and went back to sit in the ditch.

At this time, A Sen took out a small notebook from his pocket and said excitedly: "Master, I just remembered that I have a small African dictionary. We can try to communicate with him, but I have to learn it first."

Yu Tang began to wonder if A Sen was the reincarnation of Dingdang Cat, otherwise how could he have a magical pocket, so he couldn't help giving A Sen a thumbs up.But at this time, Yu Tang was even more curious about what Asu and the others were doing, so he took a closer look.

I saw Asu and his two younger brothers sitting in the ditch. There were several holes in the wall on one side, and the three of them put one of their legs into the hole.

Seeing Yu Tang's curious expression, Asu babbled again.Yu Tang nodded with his hands behind his back.

Asen asked: "Master, can you understand what he said?"

Yu Tang was asked by Asen, and his bragging nature was revealed again, "Of course I understand, he told me that this is an aboriginal therapy in Africa. Didn't you see that they stick their legs into the soil? Rheumatism, old cold legs, and hyperosteogeny."

"Oh, is it so miraculous? Can it cure duodenal and gastric ulcers?" Asen asked with a smile.

Yu Tang: "Cut, boring."

"Master, you should try it too. You had backache and fever before, so it must not be thorough. Let's treat it with their native method." A Sen came up with a bad idea with eyes full of anticipation.

Unfortunately, Yu Tang was moved by his words, took off his shoes, sat in the ditch, and put his legs into the hole next to Asu.Not to mention, the cave is quite comfortable, like a pedicure.On the other side, Asen was concentrating on studying the small book, and Yu Tang asked casually, "Have you learned it yet?"

"Master, don't worry, there are many African natives. I need to find out which tribe they belong to before I can learn their language." Asen replied without raising his head.

Yu Tang sat by himself for a while, feeling a little bored.All three of Asu sat facing the hole in the ditch. Yu Tang was different. Yu Tang sat sideways, facing Asu's profile, with one leg stretched into the hole and the other crossed.Such a sitting posture allowed Yu Tang to see behind Asu, and saw two big, shiny black bald gourds emerging from the grass behind Asu.Yu Tang didn't see what it was at first, thinking it was someone's iron pot.It wasn't until the two big bald gourds stood up that they realized that these were also two African natives, but they were sneaky and had sly eyes.

It is worth mentioning that one of the aborigines is short and fat, has no hair on his head, and wears a very simple briefs. He looks very much like the African version of Zeng Zhiwei.I saw "Zeng Zhiwei" quietly coming behind Asu, picked up a pocket made of animal skin and ran away, but what was in the pocket could not be seen by Yutang.

It turned out that these two people came to steal things, Yu Tang patted Asu on the shoulder, and then pointed at "Zeng Zhiwei".Looking back, Asu yelled twice, and hurried out of the ditch with his two younger brothers to chase after him.

Let's talk about "Zeng Zhiwei", as soon as he was spotted, he ran away, and the fat on his body trembled as soon as he ran.Yu Tang couldn't figure out how he got so fat from eating, and he ran so fast, like a potato rolling down a hill.

Although Asu was angry, he came back after not chasing very far, and brought his two little brothers downcastly to put his legs into the hole on the wall of the ditch again.

At this moment, A Sen raised his head and asked, "Master, what happened?"

"I don't know, it seems that Asu's trousers just finished washing were stolen."

"Who is so disgusting to steal someone's underwear?" Asen frowned.

"Let me see if you lost your underwear!" Yu Tang said with a smirk on his face, and he took off Asen's pants, and Asen hurriedly stepped aside, "Master, you are so obscene!"

"Hey, I'm just filthy, I...I...Huh?" Yu Tang's smiling face suddenly froze, his face gradually turned pale, cold sweat oozes from his forehead, his eyes are narrowed, and his face is full of panic.

"A Sen, come here quickly, I seem to have an accident." Yu Tang called A Sen to come over to help, A Sen thought that Yu Tang deliberately lured him into the bait, and turned around, "No, I won't be fooled by you."

Then look at Yu Tang's leg stretched into the hole, as if being pulled by something, pulling his whole body up and down.Yu Tang didn't know what was sucking his leg inside, and he couldn't pull it out no matter how hard he tried. What was even more frightening was that a chill spread from his toes to his thigh, and it was still going upwards.Seeing that his whole body was sticking to the wall of the ditch, and Asen didn't come to help, Yu Tang had no choice but to reach out and grab Asu who was next to him, and shouted, "Hey, what kind of indigenous therapy are you doing? Grab it?"

Seeing that something happened to Yu Tang, Asu was not worried, but was very excited.He beckoned the two younger brothers to come over quickly, one of them grabbed Yu Tang by one arm, and Asu hugged Yu Tang's thigh, and the three of them pulled Yu Tang out with force at the same time.At the beginning, Asu blocked Yu Tang's view by holding his thigh. After the whole leg was pulled out, Yu Tang was so frightened that he couldn't close his mouth, "A...A...A Sen, come and see what I can do. What the hell!"

Hearing that Yu Tang's tone was wrong, Asen turned around and was shocked when he saw it.A reticulated python swallowed Yu Tang's leg with its mouth wide open, and entered the python's stomach from the knee down.Asen said anxiously: "Master, your leg is gone!"

His cry made Yu Tang, who was already afraid of snakes, even more frightened. When he thought that half of his leg was missing, Yu Tang's eyes darkened and he passed out.

When Tang woke up again, he was lying in Asen's arms, "Are my legs still there?"

"Yes, master, the snake spit out your legs again." Asen reached out his hand to wipe the cold sweat off Yu Tang's head.Yu Tang looked at his legs, not to mention how affectionate he was, he wished he could hug her and kiss her.It's just that this leg seems a little inflexible, Yu Tang said: "A Sen, why does my leg seem to be out of order?"

"Master, why don't you stand up and take two steps, if you are not sick, take two steps?" Asen suggested.

"Okay, help me up," Yu Tang stood up with Asen's support and took two steps.If you can walk, you are lame.

When Yu Tang was thinking about how to accept this cruel reality, Asu at the side asked his two younger brothers to find a dead tree trunk, wrapped a reticulated python nearly six meters long and thick as a human leg around the trunk, and carried them away.

Yu Tang looked at it and scolded: "Are they leaving now? The African natives are the most immoral. I made the snake, but now they don't care about me."

As soon as he finished speaking, Asu came over and chatted a lot with Yu Tang and the two of them, pointing to Yu Tang's injured leg and making gestures for a long time.

Yu Tang was sad, and looked at Asu's ugly face even more upset, so he asked Asen: "Boy, what did he say, did you understand?"

"Master, wait a moment." Asen flipped through the small notebook for a long time, and then stuttered to communicate with Asu.After finishing speaking, Asen smiled, "Master, it turns out that this is their native method of "fishing" snakes. Asu caught three cobras today, but they were stolen just now. I thought I would be hungry today , Master, I didn’t expect you to make such a big one, which can last for a long time. Asu said that you are a distinguished guest sent by the gods to help him, and invited you to be a guest in the tribe, and heal your leg injury by the way. Master, you What a blessing!"

The more Yu Tang heard it, the more frightened he was. Asen actually said that he was lucky, and he cursed angrily: "Don't talk about it! Fortunately, it is a non-poisonous boa constrictor, and at most it will be lame. If you catch a cobra, you can collect the corpse for me. It's all your fault, you encouraged me to cure the disease, if I die, I will become a zombie, crawling on your bed every night to suck you!"

"Master, it's really immoral for you to talk like this. It's obviously you who said the local method to treat rheumatoid." Asen complained, pouted.

"Why, I have no morals, you hit me?"

"You told me to call, I'm sorry, Master."

"Oh, you kid dare to hit me!"

Asu looked at Yu Tang, then at Asen, and shook his head, expressing that he didn't understand them very well.They had no choice but to go forward and chatter to persuade Yu Tang and Asen to stop making noise and follow Asu back to his tribe.

After walking for a short time, I saw tents of African natives in front of me. The tents seemed to be made of leaves, and they were yellow, a bit like thatched cottages.When Asu came back with the boa constrictor, all the elders and children in the tribe came to celebrate. It seemed that Asu was still the leader of the tribe.

Asu introduced to his tribe that Yutang was a distinguished guest sent by the gods to bring us food.They also called in the elders of the clan to treat Yu Tang's leg injury.They brought Yu Tang into a tent, and then let Yu Tang lie down, exposing his thighs. The old people crushed and grinded unknown herbs, and finally applied them on Tang's legs.Not to mention, Yu Tang felt much better after painting.

In the evening, Yu Tang and Asen sat in the tent and watched the aborigines bustling around outside. Yu Tang asked, "Asen, did you ask Asu if he saw your ancestor?"

"Master, I asked, but he said he didn't see it." Asen said dejectedly.

"Could it be that your African language is not standard and people don't understand it?" Yu Tang reminded.

"I think so too, but Asu is very busy, I'll ask tomorrow." Asu replied.

Yu Tang: "What are they busy with?"

"Oh, master, you don't know yet, they are preparing a welcome party for you." Asen said excitedly.

"Welcome me? Not really, I'm not very familiar with them." Yu Tang vaguely felt that it wasn't a good thing.

Asen: "You brought them food. They are very hospitable and enthusiastic, and know how to be grateful. Master, you should learn more from them."

"Boy, why do I feel that there is something in your words?" Yu Tang looked at Asen who was sitting beside him, and asked, "Are you afraid when I was swallowed by a snake today?"

"I'm so scared to death, so master, you must protect yourself well, before you find my ancestor."

"Tch, I thought you cared about me."

"Of course I care about you, Master. You are the best Chinese I have ever seen, Master. I like you so much."

"Really, I feel like you're lying to me?"

Upon hearing this, Asen immediately sat across from Yu Tang, and said seriously: "I swear in the name of God, if I tell lies, I will never find my ancestors."

"Hehe, it's poisonous enough. You are not punishing yourself, you are punishing me. How can I make money from you if I can't find your ancestors." Yu Tang rubbed his legs, "Boy, we know each other so well. It’s been a long time, and I have experienced so many things, it can be said that a friend in need is a friend. If one day you find your ancestors and return to Hong Kong, once the employment relationship is over, I will return to the Northeast, you should remember to come and see me.”

"Master, I really miss you when you say that. Why don't you go back to the Northeast and stay in Hong Kong?" Asen said that he was in a hurry, and he stretched out his hand to grab Yu Tang.

Yu Tang: "Why don't you say you're going to the Northeast with me? Then I'll introduce you to a girl from the Northeast, who will be our son-in-law in the Northeast. You're beautiful and tender, and you're sure to be liked by girls. "

Asen didn't answer, Yu Tang said to himself again: "But you are too soft, you will definitely be bullied by girls from the Northeast. You don't know, we girls from the Northeast are tough."

A Sen: "Master, what I like is you, not the Northeast girl."

"It's so ambiguous when you say that, I'm going to think wildly," Yu Tang pinched his face as he said, it looked like uncooked dumplings, which made Yu Tang hungry.

Asen, like a shy little beast, stood up and ran out by himself.Yu Tang shouted in the tent: "Boy, don't run away by yourself, help me out, hey!"

After a while, Asen ran back again, "Master, Asu told us to go over and have dinner."

"Hurry up, I'm starving to death."

The two walked out of the tent with their arms, and when they went outside, a fire had already been lit in the open space. Asu came over with an elder from the clan holding a ladle.It is said to be a ladle, but in fact it is like splitting a coconut shell and filling a bowl of soup.

A Sen said beside him: "Master, eat quickly."

Yu Tang took the half-pulled coconut shell and smelled it. It was very fragrant, so he took a sip without asking any further questions.There was still meat in the soup, and the meat was so tender that Yu Tang devoured it all.

After eating, Asu brought his people to Yutang, chattered a lot, and then spat at him one after another.Yu Tang felt that he was about to become the head of the beggar gang, what kind of welcome party was this, and if he gave himself a green jade stick, it would be the meeting for the appointment of the new head of the beggar gang.

Seeing Yu Tang's embarrassment from the side, A Sen said comfortingly, "Master, please bear with me. This is to say hello to you. After all, you are their distinguished guest."

"Why don't we switch, how about you being this distinguished guest, boy?" Yu Tang gritted his teeth while suppressing his nausea.

"No, no." Asen quickly waved his hand, "You caught the snake, it has nothing to do with me."

"Hey, you're so disrespectful, why are you saying you like me?"

After all Asu's clan members vomited, Yu Tang felt that his clothes had been washed, so he insisted on taking off his shirtless shirt despite Asu's objection.Although Yu Tang was not considered white, he was extremely white among the African natives, and attracted the greedy eyes of several young native women.

At this time, Asu called four thin girls to talk, and the girls looked at Yu Tang while listening to Asu's instructions.Yu Tang shivered for a while, and then saw these girls get into the tent that Asu had prepared for Yu Tang.

Yu Tang asked Asen, "Boy, isn't that tent for me to sleep in? Why did they go in?"

"Wow, master, I just remembered, the African natives have a custom, that is to ask the most beautiful girl of their tribe to sleep with the guests." Asen said.

"What? Is there such a nasty thing?" Yu Tang thought of the four black girls just now. Their teeth were white all over their bodies, and their flying eyes were about to fall out.

"Is it okay not to sleep?"

"No way, master, if you don't sleep, they will think you look down on them, and they will treat you as an enemy and roast you on the fire."

Yu Tang looked at the fire in the open space, dare to feel that this is not a bonfire party to welcome him, but a barbecue party prepared to prevent himself from falling out!

"Unexpectedly, my dignified Sanqing disciple would lose his virginity on this African grassland. I am ashamed of my patriarch!" Yu Tang looked up to the sky and sighed, as if life would be worse than death.

A Sen bit his lip and thought for a long time, finally made up his mind and said: "Master, you have suffered a lot for my ancestors, I can't let you lose your virginity again. I will replace you tonight."

"Forget it, the Buddha said, whoever will go to hell if I don't go to hell. Although there are many people on the other side, I must not lose face to the Chinese! Ah Sen, don't worry, I can do it!" said After finishing, Yu Tang limped into the tent without anyone's help.

Little did he know that just as he walked in, four black girls ran out inside, all smiling maliciously.Yu Tang was taken aback, chased him out and asked, "Hey, aren't you going to sleep?"

At this time, Asu came over with an African girl with a big butt that was as fat as a rhinoceros, and chatted with Yu Tang.Then under Yu Tang's astonished expression, the fat lady got into the tent with a face full of joy, and he himself was pushed in by Asu.

Asu lowered the curtain of the tent and walked away satisfied.Seeing this scene, Asen suddenly shouted: "Master, I just remembered that their tribe regards fat as beauty, and those four just made your bed!"

"Asen save me!"

The author has something to say:

I was on the night shift last night and accidentally fell asleep and dreamed that I was getting married.There is no wedding and banquet, so I posted a circle of friends, but no one liked it.Aww →_→