Lin Shu's Diary

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"Lin Shu's Diary" Author: Mami

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What a woman thinks in her heart, let the woman write it.Gu Yunshi's sexuality also does not specify men and women. Who says women are not lustful?Prejudice also.Why is it normal for men to be lustful, but women often carry indecent comments on their backs?No and no.Come on, let's be lustful together, after all, we are all just normal people.

Content tags: Love War Female Qiang

Search keywords: Protagonists: Lin Shu, A Ming, Leia┃ Supporting roles: ┃ Others: Lust is not a rebellion of women, but just the truth

Chapter 1

2010. 7, 4

i may be in love with leia

Omg, it turns out that knowing yourself is really not an easy thing.I'm really going to be entangled with myself to death.I never thought that I would actually fall in love with my good friend.

I don't know what's wrong with Leia recently, she always looks very depressed, and my intuition tells me that she may have something unhappy but she doesn't want to say it.I really want to sit quietly with her for a while, or take her to sing and drink or something. It doesn’t matter if I have any grievances or resentments, as long as I vent it, everything will be fine.But whenever I see her expression that seems to be hesitating to speak, I can't bear to say something like "what's the big deal, let's go out" to her.I can guarantee that anyone who sees her fair little face, the blond hair that has just grown to the chin, the small eyes exuding a unique kind of sadness from time to time, and the slender fingers without any modification But she looks noble and elegant, a little asymmetrical with her cute face, and her dressing style, which rarely changes, still maintains the same black and white pattern as it did a month ago. She just sat there, with shining eyes, and I Fallen, what a beautiful girl!If I were a man, I would definitely marry her.

Leia, do you know how beautiful you are?

I don't want to comfort you, I just want to be with you quietly, and even selfishly hope that you will always be so unhappy, then you will often need my silent company, and I can take it for granted that I will be open and honest with caring eyes looking at you.When our eyes met, my heart panicked, but on the surface I must pretend that nothing happened, nothing at all.

I feel my heart beat a little faster, and most of all, I really want to kiss your pale cheek when you laugh like a child, when you're blue again, when you lean on my shoulder and say Watching your happy and sad times.

You always say "forget it, you won't understand"

do you know?Every time I hear such words, my heart will tremble slightly involuntarily. What do you mean I won't understand?Does it seem to you that I know nothing about you?Your distrust of me breaks my heart.

I always want to tell you, don’t torture yourself anymore. In fact, many of your unhappiness come from your undue fear of the outside world. You don’t even trust anyone, no matter who it is.You know when I hear you say "there is nothing to miss in this world", I almost cry, my dearest friend, why are you so pessimistic?

You looked at me, smiled charmingly, and joked: "Why doesn't a girl as beautiful as me have a boyfriend yet? Why do you say? Is she unattractive?"

I was dumbfounded. I usually only see the melancholy of your good girl, but I have never seen such hot eyes. I seem to see the loneliness that comes from the bottom of my heart, a desire for love and to be loved.

I turned my face away, pretended to drink water, and swallowed.You are so wonderful.

You are indeed not as sexy as other women, and you are not a lively and cheerful girl, but for some reason, as soon as I see you, I feel that I have a mission to protect you. It seems that my existence is for you, and I want to do it for you Do something to be worthy of the name of my love.You are like Teresa in "The Unbearable Lightness of Being", you are a floating girl, but do you need to cuddle with me to feel at ease?Can I be Thomas?

I really hope that you also need my protection and need me to be the weight of your life.

Before I discovered your beauty, I never felt that I was interested in women, even if I was interested, I would never fall in love with anyone, but because of your appearance, everything has changed.

I'm afraid I'm in love with you.

Of course, I know the horror of this kind of psychology. This society does not allow us to have such love, and I will not allow you to endure other people's weird eyes, no matter whether you will fall in love with me or not.

Let's keep a little distance, as long as I no longer see your melancholy eyes, and no longer feel distressed because of you, will I slowly forget your beauty?

Tonight, I smoked my first cigarette in my life.It's not like I imagined being choked out of breath. On the contrary, I even wondered if it was the first time I did such a thing because I was too calm. Is it natural to have a wild nature?

Chapter 2 Chapter 2

2010. 7, 10

Amin and I seem to be in love.

Yes, after three years, I accepted his love and was with him.Because I can't love Leia.

Suddenly, I felt that contradictions are really everywhere.To be honest, when I was alone before, I was full of thoughts about how to let go of myself, to escape from the ropes that were clearly tied around my neck, and I just thought about how to fly and fly, as if I would never get tired, nor would I. Will consider the issue of love or marriage.Occasionally, when I was lonely, I was just joking with Rocky, Xiuzi and the others, and making jokes about a male friend of a certain new friend.

I still remember getting Rocky to go on a date with a shy freshman boy from S, hahahaha, every time I think about it, I find it very fun.It seems that when girls reach a certain age, they also learn to flirt with others. How can there be a girl who is absolutely reserved? In this era, just like there are no men who are absolutely kind.The ancients said that sex is sex, but it was never specified that it was only for men. How come women don't have sexual needs?In fact, sometimes it is better than men.It is estimated that in a few years, our girls will know how to cherish themselves and let go of nature.

Discussing the issue of marriage with my father yesterday, it was strange, since I was with A Ming, I seemed to be more interested in the topic of marriage, thought more carefully and deeply, and sometimes even felt depressed when thinking about it.Yes, marriage, what a helpless word, but we will have to face it eventually.

A Ming is very clingy, and he himself felt it. He expressed his determination to me yesterday, and it is said that if he clings to me in the future, he will not be considered a man.Every time he said such things in front of me like this, I felt very uncomfortable, like a prelude to a breakup, with a breakup heart that "it's not too late for a gentleman to take revenge in ten years", but are you willing to do like me?As a man, why can't I keep the changes I want to make in my heart, why bother to say everything I want to say and do, let me pick the key points from a bunch of nonsense every time, the key is, it is often nothing more than A lot of complaints, the problem is not solved, but my heart is in a mess.He always seems to be just a kid, and although he looks big and strong and stable in appearance, he is so childish in front of me, which is sometimes annoying, but there is nothing you can do about it (by the way, Leabi He is more mature and intellectual).I don't know why, but I always feel that I can't live without him, which is perhaps the most helpless thing.

Amin is very easy to move people. One sentence and one expression are often full of sincerity in his eyes, which makes you feel that it is a sin not to believe. His child-like personality makes you unable to help bursting out of maternal care , I want to hold him in my arms, and say softly: "Dear baby, come to my arms to rest for a while, don't think about it anymore."

Recently, all kinds of things really make people want to cry without tears. After doing one by one, I am exhausted physically and mentally.Helpless, Amin always cares about some small issues, such as why he didn't reply to the message, why should he make a long phone call at night, and keep pestering him for a chat, etc.I admit that in the process of chatting with him, I am also happy. His gentle love words often make my little heart throb.But after a long time, I suddenly felt that there seemed to be nothing else in our chat except men and women. Even if we talked about other things at the beginning, there would be some unhappiness due to different opinions, and eventually we would return to the issue of sex. come up.Is love just two people talking about sex together?Although it's not pornographic, talking too much always makes people feel bored, but when we talk about other things, it's often unpleasant, which is really sad.