taste time

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He shook his head and nodded again.I just want to tell him with the bits and pieces of my life that I am waiting for you to get better.

Just as I was talking, my mother came in suddenly.I made a face at my brother, signaling him not to tell Mom, and he smiled again, his eyes full of doting.I tried my best to be nice in front of my brother.

Helping mother change clothes and change bed sheets for brother, only to feel sweaty on the head after work, this is really not an easy task.

I was going back to school when my mom told me to wait while she went out to do some shopping.I hesitated and nodded.I know she has something to tell me.

Mom walked in front, and I followed slowly, thinking about what she was going to say to me.Looking up, I realized that my mother seemed to be much shorter, with her back bowed, and her back in the corridor was so thin.

There was a slight distress in my heart, "Mom, you have to take care of your health. Brother, I still need your care!"

She sighed heavily, but finally returned home without saying a word.

"Mom, go back to your room and rest for a while. I'll cook and I'll call you later!"

I was about to go to the kitchen, Mom said slowly, "Qingshan."

"Huh?" I turned to look at her

She paused, and then said, "Qingshan, you, don't associate with that girl anymore!"

I reacted for a second, and suddenly understood. "Mom, I... This is a fact that cannot be changed at all! I still think I am right." I stated to her very calmly, my heart was already overwhelmed.

But my mother was angry, "Qingshan, are you really going to kill us? The family is already like this, can't you be more rational? Because your brother, your father and I are almost physically and mentally exhausted, and your brother will spend the rest of his life. It's over. This family can only count on you. This family really can't stand any waves. If your father knows, if you know that you are like this, you say, you say, what should he do? What can he think? "

"Mom, why did you beat me! I am gay, this is an unchangeable fact, even if there is no Huang Shiya, I will not be able to live my whole life like ordinary girls in the future, why do you have to separate us! . . ..."

Mom interrupted me, "We will talk about the future. You will understand in the future, and what you have now is nothing at all."

"Then why are you bi me now? In the future, if I give up in the future, why don't you let me give up in the future?" I just felt a fire in my heart, and I was trying to bear it.

"Just because I don't want you to regret it in the future, I want to correct you before you make any irreparable mistakes before it's too late. I can't let you go down this road. I won't allow it! Your father won't allow it! This Not even in the family!" Mom used three nos, and the words were a little decisive.There is no need to continue the conversation.I couldn't find the words at once, only lost the sentence "I have grown up!" The tone was very stiff.I just want to escape quickly.

"Stop!" This time, Mom didn't seem to intend to let me go.

Mom seemed to have made up her mind and said, "If you dare to step out of this threshold, you will never come back! From now on, this place will no longer be your home, and we will no longer be your parents."

I looked back at her in disbelief, "Mom, are you going to sever ties with me?" I asked tentatively, heh!

"Qingshan, it's not me who wants to bi you, it's you, I really can't do this! Please, please think about it for me and your father, please think about it for this family. How can you make us stand in front of our neighbors? Hold your head up!"

Ah.face!

Without looking back, I ran out!

"Qingshan!" Mom called me from the room.

I just want to be quiet.I just want to be quiet.

There is always that sentence in my mind, "If you walk out of this threshold, you will never come back again!" My heart is like a knife.Why? Why bi me? Why do I have to live so hard?

Wandering on the street until midnight, looking at the vehicles and people coming and going in the car, do they also live so hard and so tired like me? Are they really happy when they are running around every day?

Brother, Dad, Mom, Shiya! They are full of them in my mind.It hurts so much, I can't let go of any of them.Why should I choose between them? How can I choose?

I can't control life, and I can't control death. How can they survive after I die! I have been living for them, why should I live for them? Shiya, she only considers me a friend.In the future, she will also get married in the future.Her groom must be very handsome, and he must also play basketball.In the future, her family will be happy and harmonious, how should I deal with myself?

Head hurts!

But, but, if I want to give up her, how can I let go? I can't do it, I really can't do it!

But mom and dad, dad is getting old a lot, he feels uncomfortable but he can't even cry, he can only hold on.Mom's desperate eyes, she must be very disappointed in me, I have been letting them down all the time.If my brother knows that I am gay, will he be so angry that he doesn't want to see me again?

. . . . . .

The sky has turned white.I staggered back home.Mom is still sitting on the sofa waiting for me to come back. Dad must have gone to the hospital to take care of my brother.

It was not yet full light, and the light in the room was still very dark.Mom saw me coming back, and hurried over to hug me, "Where did you go?" I knew she was still very worried about me.

"I promise you." I said, my voice hoarse like a duck.

"What?" Mom was obviously taken aback, and let me go.

"I promise, I won't associate with Shiya anymore." With a very calm tone, her heart seemed to be empty.

"Really?"

"However, I want to wait until the college entrance examination is over. After the exam, I will never contact her again." I want to spend the last days with Shiya.

Because of this sentence, Ma Shuzhan's face frowned again.But that's the best concession I can make.

"Okay. You can take the exam at ease. After the exam, forget about her." Mom finally nodded and agreed.

Because my so-called love made Shiya suffer and my parents suffered.Since making the person I love the most suffer so much, it's up to me to end it.Or it hasn't even started yet.If you want to suffer, then I will suffer alone.Shiya, if you lose a friend, you will meet new ones.

"Qingshan!" Mom hugged me tightly.

The author has something to say: This chapter, I am heartbroken!

☆, escape

I thought, I made up my mind.I thought it wasn't that hard to give up.I thought I could calmly pretend nothing had happened!

When eating, she tried her best to put vegetables on my plate and persuaded me to eat more.

"You. You have to take care of your own body. How many times have I told you!"

When I was walking, she secretly put grass on my head again. When I found out, she said I was so stupid and my reaction was too slow.

She still lies on our window sill after evening self-study and get out of class, "Aren't you leaving?"

She always puts a hand on my shoulder out of habit.

She always frowns and shakes her head when she is speechless.

She always told me to have a good rest and not to stay up late reading.

. . . . . .

Seeing her walk away, tears flowed like rain, sobbing choked up.

Shiya, such a you, I really can't bear it!

I really can't take it anymore.If this continues, I will really go crazy.My heart was blocked so badly, I couldn't pretend anymore, it was so uncomfortable, seeing her quarreling with me heartlessly, I was about to suffocate.

With a few clothes and a card, I took the subway to the train station! It's almost ten o'clock in the evening.

At the train station, there are very few people at this point.

"Buy a ticket." I said.

"Where are you going?" the conductor asked me in an unfriendly tone.

"Where is the car going right away?" I didn't want to talk to her kindly.

She looked at it and said impatiently, "Chongqing, it's 25:[-]."

I raised my hand to look at my watch, 22:19.