The awkward me and the rational she

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I can only be in my room every day, listening to my mother use the piano to relieve her restlessness.

Fourth day.

"Mom, how long are you going to lock me up? I have to go to work."

"You don't have to go to work. Mom has money and will support you until you get married."

"Marry someone! How can I stay at home all the time!"

"Xiaoyang, I heard from my mother that my mother has checked in the past few days. You don't actually like girls. You are just curious, and you may have been misled. Nowadays, children like to be unconventional, and think that homosexuality is cool, so they go for homosexuality. There are also some children who like to rebel against their elders. The less they are allowed to do something, the more they want to do it. Xiaoyang, you have always been a good daughter of your mother, you must have been bewitched, ah? Think about it carefully, is what mother said right?"

With tears in her eyes, she looked at me pitifully.

I went back to my room anxiously.

From that day on, I began to go on a hunger strike and water deprivation.I guess it's the only resistance I can do.My mother went from being angry and ignoring me to being forceful, beating and scolding me to eat, and finally crying and begging me.

This time I didn't relente with her tears, and now I can't seem to feel my heartbeat.

After living for more than 20 years, I experienced for the first time what real hunger is.Those who can't eat are really pitiful.What the public service announcements say is right. Saving food will allow more hungry people to eat. It’s really uncomfortable to be hungry...

In a daze, I heard someone yelling at me with all their strength, but their voices, why are they so far away, wouldn't it be better to come closer and shout at me?

I want to open my eyes to see who is calling me, and whether there is Gu Yi in the crowd, but... I can't open my eyes anymore...

Am I dying?

When I opened my eyes again, I saw my parents.It's rare for them to appear in the same frame so quietly.I tried to smile, but I didn't seem to succeed.

"Yangyang, Yangyang, Yangyang..." My mother touched my face, and I saw tears streaming from her red and swollen eyes. The fine lines on her pale face made her look much older.

"Yangyang, why do you have the heart to leave mom behind? Mom only has you, mom can't lose you..." She lay on top of me and cried.I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't even have the energy to say a word.

My dad patted my mom on the back and said, "Jiang Cong, don't cry, Yang'er is awake now."

I looked around and realized I was in a hospital ward.Then fell asleep again.

When he woke up again, he was obviously more energetic.Seeing that I woke up, my mother hurried home to make porridge, leaving my dad here to accompany me.

He begins to tell a story.

"A young man and woman met at a concert, fell in love, got married soon, and gave birth to a lovely daughter. At that concert, the young man and woman also met a man, and the three of them could chat with each other. The relationship has always been good. After eight years, because of a misunderstanding, the young wife mistakenly thought that her husband was cheating on their mutual friend, so she decided to divorce. Leaving aside the complicated process, the two finally divorced."

"What the hell is going on with you and daddy?"

He sighed and said: "He and I were just friends. After the divorce, I was depressed by myself for a long time. He was with me all the time. Later he told me that he was very guilty, and he felt that he caused the depression. We're getting a divorce..."

"And then you're really together?"

"There's a lot going on, but that's how it ends up."

I tried my best to smile and said, "I really envy you, Dad."

He shook his head, looked at me sadly and said, "Daughter, it's dad who made you suffer so hard. I heard that homosexuality is a genetic problem."

I put my hand on his and said, "No, I chose this myself. I am very happy to like such a good person."

Dad's tone suddenly became severe again, and he said, "You child, you are actually carrying your mother to death, what if you really starve to death!"

I smiled and said: "How is it possible, she is my own mother, I don't want to die, I just want to tell her my determination. Dad, you know, that night, I originally wanted to tell Gu Yi that I like her , because I am ready to take responsibility for these words."

My dad seemed to have tears in his eyes. He touched my head, frowned and nodded with a smile.

"Gu Yi is a good girl. I will talk to your mother. Just do whatever you want. Dad will always support you. Do you want to see her now?"

"No, don't let her know, I did this at home."

"She already knows something."

Nani!

"The day after your mother took you to my place, Gu Yi came to see me early in the morning. She said she heard what you were talking about and guessed what might be going on, but she didn't know what to do. So come to me for help."

Gu Yi unexpectedly...

"Then what?"

"Then I asked her to go back first and said that we would handle these things ourselves. She also gave me your mobile phone and said she hoped to get in touch with you."

I picked up the phone and saw that there was a missed call on the night of the 7th. From the 8th, until half an hour ago, I received 235 messages, each with the same content.

"Call me if you can?"

I shed tears for no reason.

I seem to feel Guyi's restraint and anxiety.

Dad helped me wipe away my tears, I saw him smile at me, then turned and left the ward.

I called her number and was picked up almost immediately.

"Hello? You Yang?" Guyi's voice trembled.

I resisted the urge to cry, took a deep breath, and said, "Well, Gu Yi."

She said anxiously: "Are you okay! Why did you contact me now? What happened when you went back?"

"I'm fine, don't worry, it's fine."

Suddenly she began to sob.

My heart hurts, and my vision is blurred by tears.

"I'm sorry, You Yang... I thought this could have been avoided... If I had known this would happen sooner or later, why would I... why bother..."

I shook my head and said, "I don't blame you, Gu Yi, don't blame yourself..."

"I'm so useless...I don't know what to do...I can't think of anything...It seems like anything I do might make things worse...You Yang, are you okay? Can I see you?"

I moved the hand with the needle inserted, feeling my weakness.Seeing Guyi like this will only make her more worried.

"Gu Yi, it's inconvenient now, wait for me for two more days, and I'll go back to see you."

At this time, I heard my dad's voice at the door, as if my mom was coming, so I hurriedly said goodbye to Guyi and hid the phone under the pillow.

My heart jumped up.It turns out that Guyi...does he like me too? All this time, he had some concerns and kept silent?

What happened to being so happy to cry...

Two days later, I have fully recovered.With my dad's help, I escaped the hospital and headed straight back to the college town.

When Guyi opened the door, we were both shocked.

"Is your arm all right?"

"How did you get so thin?"

As soon as I closed the door, she pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly.

My face was pressed against her neck, and I smelled the body odor when I helped button her underwear that day.

Ah~ I feel like I'm about to have a cerebral hemorrhage!

"You Yang...I'm afraid I won't see you again."

I also hugged her, and said with a smile: "How come, I haven't finished what I want to say that day."

She pushed me away again and asked, "Is it alright if you just come back like this? Your parents already know?"