Who, I heard that I once loved you

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Many years later, Xia Shushu would occasionally think about today in the dead of night. She had assumed many times, if Zhu Qing came today, would they look different?But she also knew that this assumption was self-deception, Zhu Qing was not gay, and she would not be attracted to herself, this relationship was doomed from the beginning to be her only sinking.

Chen Feng had never seen Xia Shushu crying like this before, and he was a little at a loss.In his impression, Xia Shushu was always strong and aloof, had he ever been so vulnerable?

Chapter 53 Chapter 53

"Buddha said: There are eight sufferings in life. Birth is suffering. Old age is suffering. Illness is suffering. Death is suffering. Not getting what you want is suffering. Resentment and hatred will be suffering. Love and separation are suffering. Five sufferings are suffering. Everything in the world has love and happiness but cannot seek it. It's hard to get a name."

On the quiet and deserted playground, Xia Shushu raised her head to look at Chen Feng, and smiled, but glistening tears rolled down her cheeks: "I have always known that there is a problem between us, but I have never found the problem. Where did it come from. Huh."

Such Xia Shushu made Chen Feng feel a little distressed, the rolling tears seemed to be dripping on the tip of his heart, scorching hot.He wanted to reach out to help her wipe it off, but he moved his fingers, but he gave up.These are the tears she shed for another person, what right does he have to touch?

By the time Xia Shushu's mood calmed down, it was already late at night.Chen Feng handed her a tissue, and after Xia Shushu tidied herself up, she put away all her emotions, took a deep breath, stood up, put on her usual faint smile and stretched out her hand to Chen Feng: "I'll trouble you to stay with me tonight, dormitory We can't get in, let's go open a room."

ah? !Open house? !These two words scared Chen Feng very much: "Xia Shushu..." He wanted to say that you wouldn't be so self-indulgent, would you?

"Where are you going? It's so late, we have to find a place to live, right? Could it be sleeping on the playground?" Xia Shushu gave him a white look with red eyes, and stretched out his hand to pull him up: "Let's go, we didn't bring our ID cards." , I can only live in a small hotel outside the school."

In this way, in the middle of the night, the two asked for two rooms under the strange gaze of the innkeeper at the school gate.

In class the next morning, Zhu Qing didn't see Xia Shushu, which made her relieved.As a result, Xia Shushu met her at the door of the class when get out of class was over, and Xia Shushu looked a little haggard.

Zhu Qing was still obediently dragged to a secluded place by Xia Shushu, looking at the bloodshot eyes in her eyes, not knowing whether to speak or not, she immediately lowered her head not to look at her.

"Why didn't you come yesterday?"

"I am busy."

"Did you see the text message?"

"The phone is dead."

"what about now?"

"Not charged yet."

"Zhu Qing!"

Xia Shushu's emotions that had been suppressed all night were instantly ignited by Zhu Qing's attitude. She stretched out her hand to hold Zhu Qing's drooping head, and the anger in her eyes was clearly visible.

"How long are you going to be stupid? Didn't you see the text message? Okay, then I'll tell you again, I like you, I want to be with you, did you hear me clearly this time?"

Under Xia Shushu's powerful aura, Zhu Qing was like a little white rabbit who had strayed into a hunter's trap, panicking but unable to escape.

"I don't understand what you're talking about." Zhu Qing still didn't dare to look at her directly.

Hearing what Zhu Qing said, Xia Shushu laughed angrily: "Huh? Don't you understand? Okay, then I'll let you understand." After speaking, she leaned forward and kissed the lips she had been coveting for a long time. .

At this moment, Xia Shushu forgot that she was full of anger, and all her mind was occupied by the soft and sweet touch on her lips. She only wanted more, more... But Zhu Qing, who had been frightened, did not react at all until Xia Shushu Just when her aggressive tongue wanted to go further, her mind "boomed!" and she suddenly pushed Xia Shushu away.

The defenseless Xia Shushu staggered back a step.

Zhu Qinghong wiped her lips desperately with her eyes, and said with a slight cry: "You, you are perverted!" Xia Shushu, who had already stood still, sneered when she heard her say this: "Oh, if this is considered perverted , that's it. I just like you, I want to kiss you, I want to hug you, I want you, don't you understand? Do you understand now?"

"Xia Shushu, what am I in your eyes? A doll without thought? If you like me, do I have to be grateful for Dade's acceptance? Have you considered my feelings?" Xia Shushu's angry Zhu Qinghong questioned her: "Yes, I didn't go yesterday, why did I go? Have you considered what will happen if I go?"

Zhu Qing's anger made Xia Shushu somewhat incomprehensible: "I just want an answer."

"Do you know what it would mean if I went there yesterday? Whether I refused or not, the headline of today's campus daily will be that two girls from the Department of Foreign Languages ​​of K University are in love! How do you make the students think of us? What do you make the teachers think of us?" Look at us? Everyone will think that Xia Shushu and Zhu Qing are gay!"

"So what?" Xia Shushu replied nonchalantly: "Can't we be together openly if we are gay? As long as you like me too, that's enough, I don't care about the rest."

Zhu Qing's eyes were full of disappointment: "You still don't understand, you're gay and I don't! You don't care, I care! You are Xia Shu, so bright and beautiful, you are naturally fearless. But I am different, what can I compare with you? I'm afraid!"

Xia Shushu was speechless.

"Why do you want me to be responsible for your feelings? Why do your feelings become my shackles? I didn't go yesterday, did it affect you? No, those who admire you still admire you, and those who value you still I value you. Because you, Xia Shushu, are so outstanding. But what if I go? Have you thought about how much criticism I will have to endure in the future?"

"Fat Qing, I won't let you get hurt, you have to trust me." Xia Shushu took a step forward to grab Zhu Qing's hand, but she turned sideways to avoid it.

Hearing what Xia Shushu said, Zhu Qing no longer had the energy to explain.She took a deep look at Xia Shushu, then turned and left.This time, despite the tears rolling in my eyes, they didn't flow down in the end.

She didn't deny that she didn't like Xia Shushu, but she wasn't gay.

The protection that Xia Shushu mentioned was also the saddest thing for Zhu Qing.She and Xia Shushu never supported each other, but one party continued to give and the other passively accepted.Every time she wanted to do something for Xia Shushu, she found that she couldn't do anything. They were never from the same world, but Xia Shushu couldn't see this.

Just like she didn't know why Xia Shushu fell in love with her, she also didn't know when Xia Shushu would change her mind.How far can the two girls go?Zhu Qing didn't have an answer.She has always been a timid person, she does not dare to gamble, so she would rather embrace the little affection for Xia Shushu and quietly wipe it out little by little, rather than try.

But Xia Shushu, who was standing there, was a little confused. Was it really me who was begging all this time?After a while she smiled wryly.You can see each other at a glance, and one step is like a heavy city.Love is separated by mountains and seas, and mountains and seas cannot be flattened.

Forget it, as Liu Zhaoyuan said, if there is no answer now, leave everything to time.

Don't ask about love and self-hate, and begging makes you more sad.

Chapter 54 Chapter 54

Since the two broke up that day, Zhu Qing avoided Xia Shushu like a snake.Xia Shushu is not the kind of mother-in-law, who is sloppy and shameless, she sees Zhu Qing's attitude, and she simply allows her, and starts to distance herself from her.

After the change of clubs and departments, Xia Shushu began to prepare for the English eighth exam and practice.It is Xia Shushu's goal all along to pass the eighth year of junior high school before graduation, and there is only one chance, only success is allowed, and failure is not allowed.Therefore, Xia Shushu started a three-point life of library, dormitory, and restaurant, and arranged her time fully every day, leaving no room for wild thoughts.