But for the Qing, never lovesick + extra

At that time, after falling in love with Jin Yan for three years, I didn't know my father's official business secrets and the good intentions of my mentor.

I skipped the training session for the day and hid in the secluded woods on campus.

Perhaps at this time, I can be more rational in facing that state of mind, but I can still understand the hesitation and depression at that time.

Can understand, can't relieve...

At that time, for me, the sky was falling.

Later, when it was dark, the shadows in the woods gathered together, and a narrow light picked me out of the chaos.

It was Jin Yan who found me.I can imagine how they looked for me in different ways, just like I was anxious to find her the day we first met.

I stood up from under the tree, walked around her, didn't answer her question, and didn't look at her much.

She followed me half a step behind me, asked me a few words, and got a unanimous silence before saying anything.

At that time, I thought, the so-called oolong encounter between the two of us, which is like witnessing a fate, was ridiculously boring compared to the blood feud of our parents.

Fortunately, she didn't ask any more questions, otherwise, I would definitely be unable to restrain myself from telling her what I thought suddenly, and end the relationship that I don't know whether it should be regarded as a sinful relationship or a strange relationship.

I ran back to the dormitory, hid in the bathroom, and was bored in the corner, so aggrieved that I wanted to cry.

Obviously I get along with her comfortably and comfortably, obviously we have a lot in common, obviously we have taken such a long road to university, and obviously I still have a lot of imaginary life plans that I planned to complete with her that have not been realized...

Obviously we like each other and are attached to each other...

But what are those?They are all empty holes, and they don't hold the slightest weight in front of the grievances of the parents.

The feelings we guarded so carefully, just go to waste like this?

My reason tells me that this is the right choice, and when I break it, I will break it... She must be still outside the door, I should go out immediately, tell her directly that I have flinched, and let it go.

But why is there a tingling pain in my heart?

I bit the back of my hand and shrank in place, shaking my head unwillingly to avoid it.

At this time Yun Yi broke into the door, was stunned, said nothing, and rushed over to hug me.

The weakness surging in my heart was torn open, and the pain and depression in my heart surged outward. I hugged her back and let go of my voice to cry.

"Third Sister...why, I can't love her anymore?"

She coaxed me patiently, and when I calmed down, she told the story of her and her first love.

"Do you remember the string of wind chimes?"

I nod.It is always her precious thing, it is not enough to hang it by the desk, she has to touch it every day, and be dazed by it.

"I sent it back, along with other things he sent me."

I know the string of wind chimes. When I first came to university, I helped my third sister untie the knot on it, "That's not you..."

"We're done."

Her words were very cold. From such a close distance, I could clearly hear the powerlessness in her words.

"why?"

"He went back to his hometown to go to school, and he will stay there to work in the future. His family can't accept my job. They think the police don't have fixed hours, so they stay up all day and night... My parents can't accept him to go out of town..."

She changed the subject and talked about me: "So, Yang Yang, marriage is a matter between two families... But falling in love is just to find someone who is compatible with you and enjoy youth. So why are you hesitating? You guys Before you get married, you don't need to keep so much in your heart, love is just a matter between the two of you, you like her, she cares about you, isn't that enough?"

I suppressed my crying, my atrium was beating and trembling with hot blood.

"Even if in the end, you fall in love with each other and try your best to not be together, there is nothing to regret... It is not easy to meet someone who is valued by each other and will eventually get married..."

I froze there, and the backlog of depression was slowly revealed.

"She's still waiting for you..." The third sister pulled me up and pushed me out, "Have you thought about how to explain it?" Seeing that I lowered my head and said nothing, she continued, "Just say it's because of your family. , has nothing to do with her, apologize sincerely, send her back to coax her, and then come back, understand?"

"..." I nodded.

I opened the door, and Jin Yan was standing by the door against the wall.

She saw the light, looked up, and stepped closer to me.

The corners of her eyes were red, which made me want to cry.

My reason was not ready yet, she came up and hugged me.

What she said next made my heart ache. I don't know if it's because I couldn't calm down. This kind of pain is not much different from the labor pain just now.

"Even if you really don't want me anymore, please tell me the reason?"

"I like you, I don't want to end in a vague way..."

I just nod.

……

On the eve of graduation, those around me could see that I was in a trance and was always in a trance.

Fortunately, the graduation matters were ready at that time, and there were no other important things to worry about. I thought about the future all night and night, blaming the lack of sleep during the day for my lack of sleep, and at night, I continued...

These days are irritating and distressing, but the feeling is indeed much better than the previous heartache.

During that time, I thought about many possibilities and outcomes of our future, but in the end, there was only one viable idea left.

We can't abandon everything selfishly and leave, so we can only stay... and staying, we are destined to face the series of past entanglements, if we don't deal with it properly, it will be an eternal thorn in the hearts of the two families.

How to solve it...how to find a balance within the allowable range of the two parties, and how to persuade each to retreat?

Selfishly, it is absolutely hard for me to accept the mastermind behind the premeditated murder of my father.If it's just me, it doesn't matter if I spend it with him regardless of the cost.

But it is true that he is Jin Yan Jin Chuan's father.Jin Yan's mother died because of my father's mistakes. If something happened to Jin Tian, ​​what would happen to their siblings, and who would they rely on?In that kind of position, he is all prosperous and the other is damaged. Once his rights are backlashed, their siblings don't even have basic protection...

If the tree falls and the monkeys scatter, he cannot fall.

I made up my mind that since I want to go this way, the future is either black or white.

Before starting, you must be fully prepared, risk assessment, action plan, plan preparation and result prediction must be fully considered...

At this point, I vaguely have an idea, but the shortcut to go deep into Huxué is inevitably to use her—to use her relationship, go deep into her family, go to her father, look for opportunities to collect evidence...

Just, Yanyan, what would you think if you knew this?

Please don't hate me.

The author has something to say: Is it okay for No.1 to recall this?

#ask for comments, welcome to leave a message#

·If you want to continue to read the conspiracy part of No.1 title, please click 1;

·If you want to read other memories, please click 2 for sweet ones; please click 3 for nüè ones;

·If you want to see the sweet daily life following the ending, please press 4.

· Or if you have specific ideas, please indicate~

Ignore me and I'll go on strike! ╭(╯^╰)╮These two days have been so diligent and no one has come out to chat, really, friends, can you still do it?

Chapter 33 Fan ① Zheng Yang Monologue

I'm afraid it's impossible for her not to hate me...

How many times have I lied to her, how many times have I hurt her, I can't count the indifference...

She was originally a lovely girl in a happy family, a treasure her parents cared for and cared for... But the successive censures that fell around her broke the beauty.

If it is said that it was my father who destroyed her complete family, it was her father who molded her isolated personality...

The one who ruined her sincere longing was me.

·

Jin Yan has long dreamed of going abroad for further study, and I know the reason for it——

Because she experienced the pain of mother-child separation when she was young, she originally wanted to study medicine and tried her best to save similar broken families. Later, she saw what her father did, and she cruelly severed the relationship between father and daughter, abandoned the doctor to join the police, and had a black and white relationship with him... Now The choice was the result of her many considerations.

It is a good thing to continue to study, and it is her independent decision, so I am naturally happy for her.

But she couldn't bring herself to be interested, and after she finished speaking to me, she asked angrily if I was indifferent to her.

My heartstrings broke at this point, and I felt flustered like when I was confessed by her back then.

Recalling that time, when the haze dissipated and my mind cleared up, I leaned over to hug her and rub her to make trouble with her, she calmed down and responded to me with a smile.

After that, the topic of parting was suppressed, and she avoided me if she didn't mention it, for fear of being asked about her future plans.

……

In the last days of college, our graduation trip came in a panic.

The seven of us got acquainted by fate and walked through this lush years hand in hand.From now on, whether it's the bleak future between me and her, or the distance between us and my second sister, it will be difficult to get together again.

This trip is the first time, and it may not be the end.