Shadow of great britain

"Ha--u (Heinrich), I'm sorry, my German is not very good. Is this how you pronounce your name? It sounds like calling a donkey."

"What?! You damn British Jew, how dare you call me that!"

Soon, the quarrel outside the door turned into a crackling fight, followed closely by Alexandre Dumas's persuasion.

"Two gentlemen, this is a university campus. It would be too disgraceful for you to fight here! Duels are an elegant way. Even if you really want to fight, you must at least get a sword first. Bar?"

"What nonsense! I have only left Göttingen seven or eight years ago. Has the school already banned duels by law?"

Although Arthur did not see the fighting scene, even though they were separated by a door, Arthur could still analyze from the collision of fists and flesh that the two Jewish friends had definitely exhausted all their strength and were risking their lives. .

The Duke of Sussex also frowned upon hearing this. He thought about it for a moment and then guessed uncertainly: "Why does this voice... sound like Mr. Benjamin Disraeli?"

Arthur quickly stood up and left the table: "Your Highness, it seems that I have to deal with the school's internal affairs first."

The Duke of Sussex did not take this matter to heart. As a graduate of the University of Göttingen thirty years ago, when he was studying in Göttingen, the atmosphere on campus was far more violent than it is now. You can see students drawing swords and dueling on the school lawn every now and then. If you are lucky, you might even see a few fighting in groups.

Moreover, the scope of student fights is not limited to the campus. Sometimes they even form groups to go to the nearby Marburg University and Halle University to drink, cause trouble and cause chaos, competing for the title of 'Germany's No. 1', which now seems ridiculous. .

Precisely because of students' long-term misbehavior, college students have been classified as a derogatory term for a long time to those citizens living in university towns.

Perhaps because he remembered the ridiculous experience in his youth, the Duke of Sussex, instead of blaming him, joked: "This is my first day back at the University of Göttingen, but as soon as I breathed the air here, I immediately I feel thirty years younger.”

Arthur smiled and echoed a few words, then took a few steps back facing the Duke of Sussex, then quickly opened the door with quick eyes and hands, covered the scene behind him with his body and exited.

As soon as Arthur went out, he realized that the battle was already at a fever pitch. First, Heine rode on Disraeli and performed a set of Prussian military boxing. Heine's fists were fierce, and you could see every move. The profound heritage of the German martial arts school that has been passed down for 800 years can be obtained.

But Heine's good days did not last long. Soon, Disraeli found the right opportunity to hug Heine's waist tightly. With the style of a member of the House of Commons in the Palace of Westminster, he threw Heine onto the ground. place, fully displaying the charm of traditional English martial arts.

Seeing this, Arthur rushed forward and separated the two together with Alexandre Dumas.

Although Heine and Disraeli were forcibly separated, as Dante in the German literary world and Caesar in the British fashion novel world, their mouths were still not idle.

"Arthur, I can listen to you on other issues, but this time, I have to teach the descendants of this stingy Sherlock a lesson. You know, I am a person who values ​​commitments. , I have sworn to God since I was eight years old, from now on, no one can call me such a scornful name as Ha-Yu!”

"Huh? It seems I was right. Your name does have something to do with donkeys. Heinrich, in Italian it is Enrique, in French it is Heinrich. If you use English, you can call you Henry or Ha Leigh, that sure sounds like a ha-ha!"

Arthur heard Disraeli's sarcasm and said helplessly: "Benjamin, you don't need to show off like this that you know many foreign languages."

Hearing this, Alexandre Dumas couldn't help but stop the fight and said: "Benjamin, when you call Heinrich that way, you are actually scolding yourself. Did you know?"

Disraeli tugged at his tie and patted the dust on his clothes: "Alexander, you damn traitor, you actually sided with him!"

Alexandre Dumas explained: "This has nothing to do with which side I stand on. But Heinrich once told me that the reason why he hates the name Ha-Yu is related to his experience as a child.

In his hometown lived a man named 'Trash Michel', because he took a donkey cart through the streets of the city every morning, stopped in front of every house, and swept the women into one Small piles of garbage are loaded on the truck and transported to the garbage dump outside the city.

The man looked exactly like his trade, and the donkey looked exactly like his owner. The donkey would either stop motionless in front of each house, or move quickly, depending on the tone of Michelle's "ha-ha" voice.

Since the shout was very similar to Heinrich's name, the nickname was quickly picked up by the neighborhood brats. They yelled Heinrich's name like trash Michel yelling at his donkey.

These little bastards would sometimes put on an innocent look and ask Heinrich to teach them how to pronounce my name and how to pronounce the donkey's name in order to avoid confusion. But those little scoundrels pretended to be incompetent and deliberately made their shouts sound exactly like Heinrich’s name..."

When Heine heard that Alexandre Dumas actually exposed his background in front of his enemies, he was furious and said: "Alexander, I told you this because I regarded you as a friend. How can you explain everything?"

Unexpectedly, when Disraeli heard this, he couldn't help laughing and said: "You actually believe Alexander. I shared some little secrets with him, and it didn't take long for "The Red and the Black" to be published!"

Heine glared at him fiercely: "Then it seems that you are also a donkey."

Disraeli's laughter at being scolded suddenly stopped, but before he could reply, Heine heard Heine speak again.

"Mr. Disraeli, don't rush to scold me, because what I just said is well-founded. You called me ha-ha, thinking you were insulting me personally, but in fact you were insulting everyone. Jewish, that includes you and me.”

Heine continued: "When I was a child, those guys called me that all the time. They laughed so hard that they made me cry. I went home to complain to my mother, but she taught me that I should study more. , become smarter, so that everyone will not confuse me with a donkey.

But she had no idea that this had nothing to do with studying or not. And a Jew like you will feel that such ridicule is only directed at me personally. In fact, at school, the older kids would call me that when they came up to me and said hi. The younger children also greet me in the same way, but because they are afraid of getting spanked, they stay away from me when greeting me.

In class, whenever the topic involves donkeys, everyone will look at me furtively and sideways. And they would deliberately invent all kinds of jokes and derogatory words to laugh at me.

For example, one of them would ask another: 'How do you differentiate between a zebra and the donkey of Balaam, son of Bor? ’ The answer is: ‘The former speaks Zebra (German Zebra), and the latter speaks Hebrew (Balaam is an Israelite in the Bible). ’

Then, they asked: 'What's the difference between Rubbish Michelle's donkey and its namesake? ’ The shameless answer is: ‘We don’t know the difference between the two! ’”

Everyone present couldn't help laughing when they heard the joke, even Disraeli, who was also a Jew.

Heine couldn't help but became furious when he saw this situation, but soon he seemed to have accepted his fate, shaking his head and saying: "I really don't know what is so funny about this joke. You are like this, those toys I used to play when I was a child The same goes for my friends. Even my best friends have to make fun of my name.”

After saying this, Heine stared at Disraeli fiercely and warned: "Don't blame me for not warning you, Mr. Disraeli, I know witches who know magic."

Disraeli was laughing happily, but as soon as he heard that Heine was planning to curse him, Disraeli, a pseudoscience enthusiast and agnostic, was shocked.

Everyone knew that German witches were as famous in Europe as Prussian soldiers.

Not only Disraeli, but Alexandre Dumas on the side was immediately attracted by the important information revealed by Heine: "Magic... magic, you mean black magic? Witchcraft?"

Seeing that they were frightened, Heine added nonchalantly: "Of course, the witch lives in my hometown of Dusseldorf. I have known her since I was sixteen. Although I Not a wizard, but I know how she works."

Arthur was also interested when he heard this. Although he always thought it was feudal superstition, but he had a devil following him. What could be more superstitious than this?

Arthur asked: "How did she perform witchcraft?"

Heine glanced at them, then put his finger between his lips: "Shh! Let's talk in a quiet place."

The four of them found a quiet office, closed the curtains, and locked the door. Heine sat down on the chair, cleared his throat and said, "The witch I know, her husband was a A despised executioner, everyone knew that her husband left behind various unspeakable secret recipes. Her best customer was the owner of a beer hall, and she sold dead people's fingers to the beer hall. These fingers are her husband's relics, and they can make the beer in the barrel taste more delicious..."

When Arthur heard this, he felt sick to his stomach. He glanced at the red devil at the table, as if he wanted to get an answer from him.

Agares didn't hide his secrets, he just curled his lips in disgust and said: "Little tricks, soaking cat claws, soaking bear paws, and using dried firewood to pretend to be dead people's fingers. This business is still so retro to this day."

When Alexandre Dumas heard this, he couldn't help but swallowed: "This... So, if I go to Dusseldorf to drink, is it possible that the beer there has been soaked in dead people's fingers?"

"Isn't it?" Heine said solemnly: "But selling dead people's fingers is not her most important job. This female master is also very popular with passionate young lovers. She provides lovers with the magic soup of love. …”

"The magic soup of love?!"

"Oh my god! Is there such a good thing?"

When Disraeli and Alexandre Dumas heard the name, the eyes of the two social veterans lit up.

Heine coughed: "This magic soup is called Feltralium. Of course, it doesn't work in all cases. Sometimes it can even cause the opposite effect. For example, a young man who failed to win the favor of a beauty persuaded his cold beauty to drink a bottle of wine with him and quietly poured Feltralium into her wine glass.

When she drank the magic soup, he found that the beauty's behavior changed strangely, and a certain restrained and embarrassed expression appeared on her face. The young man regarded this as a spring heart and thought that the moment of ecstasy was at hand. But, alas! When he hugged the blushing beauty tightly in his arms, a strong smell came to his nose, and he slowly realized that this was not the rich fragrance emitted by the god of love. This young man, he was beaten."

When Arthur, Dumas and others heard this, they immediately understood the protagonist of the story in Heine's mouth.

This incident was much more embarrassing than Ha-Yu, so they knew it well and didn't expose Heine. Everyone pretended to be in the dark and listened to this guy continue to tell the story of "I have a friend".

"After this incident, in order to save the reputation of her magic, the female master claimed that she had misunderstood the intention of the unfortunate young man, thinking that he wanted to cure her lovesickness and completely sever her love. When the young man asked her for the real magic potion, she finally took out her secret skill."

Dumas asked expectantly: "Did she take out the bottle of magic potion?"

"No."

Heine shook his head: "She gave the young man a piece of advice, which is more valuable than the magic potion."

"What advice."

Heine scratched his ears: "She advised her young believers, Always carry some money in your pocket. Gold is very healthy and brings good luck to men who love it. "

"Go away."

"This witch is a complete liar. I suggest that the Vatican should send someone to burn her to death."

"You two change your faces too quickly." Heine emphasized: "I assure you that she does have magic power. Although this magic has not been used on me, I have seen it with my own eyes. She once cast a spell to make someone and his new wife infertile. They have been married for several years without giving birth to a child."