Shadow of great britain

Dear Arthur:

How are you doing lately? Haha, although life on the Beagle is quite fulfilling, I still can't help but want to write to you friends in London. Please send my regards to Alexander, Benjamin, and Charles one by one, and ask them not to Forgot, they also have a friend floating on the sea on the other side of the world.

Oh, I almost forgot, I may have offended Elder by saying this, but if Alexander and the others are willing to regard Elder as a species of the same dimension as themselves, then they can barely be considered two friends.

On February 28, the expedition team officially entered the Amazon jungle from Bahia. Arthur, you can't imagine how happy a naturalist is to see the dense and prosperous forest. Elegant forest grass, strange parasitic plants, beautiful but deadly flowers, lush branches and leaves, the moment I stepped into the Amazon jungle, I felt that if there is a paradise in the world, it must be hidden in this piece of land. In the endless green sea.

But unfortunately, my joy did not last long. Not long after the expedition team entered the Amazon, there was a tropical rainstorm in the sky. Everyone hid under a tree more than ten meters tall according to their experience in Britain. Take shelter from the rain. The branches and leaves of this big tree are so dense that London's rainwater would probably be impenetrable. But the British experience proved useless in the Amazon jungle.

Elder was bored when he was hiding from the rain, so he picked up a tree stick on the ground and played the conductor of the orchestra. The sailors who were having fun were happy to cooperate with him, and everyone opened the Coburg Theater in the mud pit of the Amazon. An ordinary concert. Unfortunately, as soon as Elder's baton was raised, we heard a loud cracking sound from the tree crown, and then saw a torrent rushing down the tree trunk.

Elder was singing loudly at the time, but he accidentally got a big drink from his mouth. Hahaha, Arthur, do you know what it looks like when floods fall from the sky? Imagine the record in the Bible: The flood flooded the earth for 40 days and nights. The water rose and even the mountains were submerged. Although the situation we encountered at that time was not as exaggerated as what was described in the Bible, it was still similar.

The overwhelming flood roared down from the nearby big trees, and everyone was washed up and down, unable to stand up. We could only support each other and hug the tree trunk, and just stood upright in the current for almost half an hour. Fortunately, heavy rains in the Amazon come and go quickly. Otherwise, Elder and I might have sunk in some river to feed the fish.

Speaking of which, when we were inspecting the waters off the coast of Brazil, we also discovered several strips of turbid seawater. Some of them were chocolate-colored, while others were light red or light green.

I first thought it was sediment washed into the sea by floods, but later I discovered that these strips were originally composed of plankton and crustaceans. The seal hunters who live nearby call this thing whale bait. I don’t know if whales actually feed on these things, but the terns, cormorants, and large colonies of bulky seals that live along the coast do include these little guys in their diet.

These colorful strips are indeed worth noting. Even if we leave aside the zooplankton and just look at the crustaceans, even Elder couldn't help but praise them. These little crabs that look like giant prawns are taking a step forward. Their steps were neat and uniform, and their walking was even more beautiful than the light red array formed by the army.

What kind of power is driving them to take such magnificent steps? It is obvious that the fish eggs, thread algae and ciliates mixed with them are all moving randomly. Is this really the power of God?

If this is the case, then God is too partial. Why does he only teach crabs to walk forward? Is there something wrong with the shrimp?

Arthur, if you have time, perhaps you can go to church and help me ask this question to the learned and eloquent bishops. After all, in their mouths, they can give you some explanation for any problem. Oh, maybe you should wait until the crab specimens I sent you arrive. If you tell the bishops that crabs can goose-step, they might kick you out of the church.

Of course, although I may feel sorry for Alexander when I say this. But please, after the specimen arrives, please remind him more for me. I have already tasted this crab. The taste is not delicious, and the size is too small, so please don’t try hard to kill me. The prepared specimens were cooked in a pot.

By the way, if the bishops don't accept the crab, please help me forward the specimen to Mr. John Henslow, the beetle expert of the Linnean Society. Mr. Henslowe took great care of me when I was a student at Cambridge. He must have appreciated these beautiful gadgets. By the way, there is also an octopus that can change colors in the specimen. Unfortunately, it seems that it can only change colors when it is alive, and it automatically loses this ability after it dies.

In addition, I have to give a final warning. Among the specimens I sent back, there is also a kind of stingray fish. Not only does it prick the hands on the surface, but its needles are also highly poisonous. I've found this thing in the stomachs of several dead sharks. You have to keep an eye on Alexander to make sure he doesn't eat it.

Well, the next time I write to you, it will be from Argentina or Tierra del Fuego. By the way, the jaguar Elder hunted tasted really good, but it’s a pity that the meat is not easy to preserve. Otherwise, I could send some back for you and Alexander to feast on. Of course, the premise of all this is that the merchant sailors who help us deliver the message do not eat secretly.

Your friend, witness to the Amazon’s annihilating floods, egalitarian supporter of small crabs and giant prawns, famous gourmet of the Amazon and Andes, Charles Darwin.

Written on July 5, 1831, on the eve of departure from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

The firewood in the fireplace was crackling, and the cold atmosphere in the room had faded a lot.

Everyone held coffee cups while listening to Arthur reading the letter, and drank a sip of hot coffee, feeling warm all over.

When Alexandre Dumas heard Arthur read to the end of the letter, he suddenly felt that the potato pie in his mouth no longer tasted good.

He muttered: "Isn't it just a crab? What's the big deal if I taste it? Can't you ask Charles to send more? As for the jaguar, it can be made into bacon or cured meat! Charles and El Haven't you ever eaten bacon? The preparation method is the same. As for the poisonous fish and so on... Haha, how would I know if I don't try it? "

Dickens sat on the carpet, hugged his knees with his hands and sighed: "Both of us are Charles, but now Charles in Cambridge has seen a much wider world than I have. Storms in the sea, jungles in the Amazon, and even octopuses that change colors. And crabs that can goose-step and line up. If I hadn’t known Charles, I would have thought he was making up a story. Oh my god! Who would have thought that all of this could be true!”

Disraeli's eyes rolled sharply, and he suddenly suggested: "Arthur, these novel stories sound really topical. We happen to be short of manuscripts for "The Englishman". If we A little editing of the manuscript that Charles sent back and publishing it in the magazine will definitely help increase sales. In this way, we can also explain to the readers why "The Monkey Story" has stopped. Since Charles and the others left Since then, almost every issue has received letters from readers accusing him of quitting writing."

When Arthur heard this, he frowned slightly and said: "Are you planning to tell readers that the reason why the author stopped updating is to work on "The Theory of Evolution"? Hmm... But indeed, this reason sounds quite sufficient. . Moreover, these letters written by Charles are indeed wonderful. If we publish them under the name "Diary of the Voyage of the Beagle" and add some illustrations of specimens sent back by Charles, it will definitely be very popular."

"Hmm..." Disraeli also nodded and said: "Yes, and the artist who illustrates the illustrations must be a top-notch artist. We don't lack the money for these specimen illustrations now. If you are free another day, you can come with me. Go look for it at the Royal Academy of Art.”

When Arthur heard this, he took out another letter hidden under Darwin's letterhead: "As for Elder, do we want to log out?"

When Disraeli heard this, he quickly opened his glasses case, took out the pair of gold spectacle frames without lenses that he bought to pretend to be elegant and put them on the bridge of his nose.

He said: "We still need to carefully review Mr. Carter's manuscript. Publishing erotic literature is illegal in Britain. I am about to elect a member of parliament, and I can't make the same mistake as Bernie Harrison at this moment."

Hearing this, Alexandre Dumas just waved his hands and said: "That's not a big deal. The worst thing we can do is set up a Paris branch. We in France never care about this. And in my opinion, Elder alone is enough to take on the responsibility of the Paris branch." It’s a heavy burden.”

Arthur also echoed: "That's right, Benjamin, if a pornographic scandal breaks out in "The British" in which you are the major shareholder, although you will not be able to be elected as a member of Parliament in Britain. But if you can change the constituency to Paris in time, Then most of them can win a big victory.

Or if you can persuade everyone to change the voting method to secret ballot, then I think you can also win in London. But there is no way. Nowadays, voting is by name, so gentlemen naturally cannot vote as they please. "

Alexandre Dumas nodded when he heard this and said: "This is quite pertinent. The temperament of Paris citizens has always been that they don't like to hide things, but London is different."

Dickens laughed twice, pointed at Elder's letter and urged: "Since there are only a few of us here, there is no need to hide it. So Arthur, read it quickly."

Arthur unfolded the letter and was greeted by the smell of the sea. Just when he was about to give a lively performance to everyone, the first sentence written on Elder's letter almost made him choke.

Arthur, fuck it, I almost got raped by a dolphin!

I'll bet you a penny that this dolphin is probably an Oxford dropout! And after graduating from school, he went to Cambridge to receive re-education!

Damn bad luck, Rio de Janeiro is my nemesis!

First, I was defrauded of all my money by two bitches, and when I was exploring the Amazon jungle, a flood almost swept me into the Garden of Eden. Now, I can’t even get anything good out of Rio de Janeiro!

When we departed from Rio de Janeiro for La Plata on July 5, I was sitting on the deck basking in the sun and enjoying the salty sea breeze. Suddenly, white waves suddenly appeared on the blue sea, and then hundreds of dolphins broke out of the shackles of the sea, jumping out of the sea one after another, rolling to reveal their strong bodies.

At that time, our speed was about eight to nine knots, but this group of dolphins could not only keep up with our speed, but also flexibly shuttle between the bow and stern of the Beagle. They seemed to regard this as a kind of entertainment. Entertainment and fun.

What a spectacular scene this is! Arthur, you know me. When encountering this kind of scene, all the classical literature cells in my body can't help but be restless. When I see the morning glow on the sea and these sea elves, I can't help but praise them and plan to compose a poem!

I immediately remembered Lord Byron's poem "The Maid of Athens", and finally understood Lord Byron's mood when he wrote this poem.

Facing the turbulent golden sea and these beautiful creatures drifting away from us, I couldn't help but recite.

"Girl of Athens, before we part, give me back my heart, my heart!

Or, now that it is detached from me, keep it and take the rest!

Please listen to the oath I made before leaving: You are my life and I love you.

I want my unfettered curls to be chased by every Aegean wind.

I want to rely on those eyes rimmed with ink jade, the eyelashes kissing the blush on your cheeks.

I will swear with those wild deer-like eyes: You are my life and I love you.

There are also the red lips that I have wanted to taste for a long time, and the light and tight waist.

I rely on these flowers of love, they are better than all words can express.

I want to say, with a string of joys and sorrows of love: you are my life, I love you. "

However, I have just reached this point in my recitation, and the railing I am holding on may have been damaged by the waves. I was not careful and fell directly into the sea along the railing.

The group of dolphins were about to go away, but after I fell into the sea, they actually turned back from the sea. Several dolphins moved up and down, sandwiching me in the middle, and pushed me to the surface of the sea, preventing me from drowning. However, before I could thank them, I suddenly felt like something was pushing against me behind my back.

When I look back, I really can’t bear to describe the scene.

It was then that I suddenly realized that they were not some gentle and charming Athenian girls, but a group of the most rude, rude and barbaric Spartans on the sea!

Although they didn't succeed in the end, I was really fucked. Not only was I so humiliated by the dolphins, but the whole boat was standing on the deck watching! But they were far away at the time, so they probably didn't know what happened to me.

I didn't even disclose this matter to Charles. After the people on the boat rescued me, they saw me without saying a word.

Colonel Fitzroy thought I was too frightened, so he asked the ship's doctor to give me some medicine and let me go back to the cabin to rest.

But how can a person get over the pain so quickly after such an experience?

At that time, I was lying in the crew lounge and looking at the scenery outside the porthole window. I felt that life had become gloomy and that I seemed to have aged dozens of years. As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the scene of falling into the sea. It was like a nightmare that lingered in my mind.

I couldn't sleep almost the whole night. I lingered on the boat until three o'clock, and then I finally felt a little sleepy.

But not long after I fell asleep, a series of shrill cow noises suddenly sounded in my ears. I opened my eyes tiredly, thinking that I had sailed to the deepest and darkest abyss of hell because of my unwashable sins.

With the help of Charles, I came to the deck on crutches. It was a dark night, and I could not see the stars or the moon in the sky. Colonel Fitzroy ordered the lights to be raised, and the searchlight shone on the coast. Only then did I see clearly who was making those shrill cow calls. They turned out to be groups of seals and penguins.

The fat seals twisted their bucket-like waists and rolled on the beach with their big bellies. From time to time, they would slap their big bellies to make some noise. To be honest, they looked just like Alexander.

As for the group of penguins, their skin is black and white, and they seem to be very polite to each other. When they meet their companions, they will bow slightly to show respect.

Arthur, you may not believe it, but these penguins look just like you when you attended General Codrington's banquet. Of course, they are different from you in that they lack a monocle and a suitable top hat. If they could be given a walking stick, I don’t think anyone at a London social gathering would be more gentlemanly than these penguins.

Seeing these scenes, I not only feel sad in my heart. Why on earth would a young, strong and ambitious British man come to a place like this? Did I come to see these seals and penguins? But I can obviously see them even if I stay in London!

And you and Alexander did better than penguins and seals!

I thought: Oh, my God! Why on earth would you punish your most loyal believer like this? Do you want me to be Jesus? If you really want me to enlighten the world and let me be the Messiah, then please crucify me and dye this blue ocean red with my dried blood! But please do not humiliate me by doing this. Why do you use a dolphin to act as my Judas?

I stared at the deep, dark sky, clutched the cross on Charles' chest tightly, put the cross against my chest and prayed to God.

In the silence, I couldn't feel anything. Charles' neck was uncomfortable when I pulled it. If he wanted to scold me, then he would scold me.

The noise of the world can no longer hinder my firm belief.

Suddenly, I seemed to feel the answer from God. Suddenly there was light rain in the sky, thunder and lightning and dark clouds were dense. Suddenly, a thunderbolt flashed across the sky. Even though I closed my eyelids tightly, my eyes were still illuminated by the bright light. Lit up.

Then, through the wind and rain, I heard an exclamation from Charles. He shouted, "Look! That's St. Elmo's Light!"

I opened my eyes suddenly. I will never forget it for the rest of my life. This may be the most gorgeous and beautiful scene I have ever seen in my life.

The Beagle's mast is connected to a lightning network, which is a brilliant blue-white flash like a flame. It blooms slowly. Arthur, at this time, I suddenly remembered the Eastern myth you told me before.

I'm afraid that's the holy lotus under the seat of Tathagata Buddha, right?

I don't want to hide it from you, Arthur, that night, I cried.

Who are you?

Where are you from

Where are you going again?

Along the way around the world, I have been asked these three questions by countless people.

But at that time, I didn’t understand the meaning of these three questions.

But, now, I figured it out.

From this moment on, I finally understood.

I am an oriental monk.

I come from the Eastern Land of the Tang Dynasty.

I want to go to the West to learn scriptures.

Amitabha, Arthur, I must ask you solemnly, is this what the monks call you?

By the way, my secret conversion is also a secret. Don't tell anyone about it, otherwise you will get me into trouble.

By the way, one last question for you, in that Eastern story you told me before, the protagonist was called Wukong, right?

Well, this Dharma name is good, I will borrow it for the time being.

Finally, if you have time, please remember to find out for me whether there is any sect that allows monks to take wives.

Your friend, Begel Walker, Royal Navy layman, South America's first monk, Elder Wukong Carter.

Painted on July 8, 1831, at the mouth of the Rio de la Plata, Argentina.

Arthur read the end of the letter and savored it for a while before finally sorting out Elder's mental journey.

The corners of his eyes twitched and he couldn't stop. Regarding his friend, even Arthur, who was in a calm mood, couldn't help but mutter a few words: "Why are things about Elder always so bad?"

As for the red devil on the side, he was laughing so hard that he couldn't stand up straight: "If I don't go to hell, who will? This kid Elder has found a damn shortcut to hell!"

After listening to Elder's letter, Alexandre Dumas and others were silenced one by one by this friend with a strange mind.

Dickens asked: "So? He is now a Buddhist monk?"

Arthur shook his head slightly and said: "Forget it, Charles, Elder's understanding of monks is limited to the fact that he knows that there is such a thing as a monk in the world. He doesn't even know that to be a monk, you need to shave your head."

"You can become a monk with a bald head?" Alexandre Dumas took a puff of smoke and said, "Then there are too many monks in Britain."

Disraeli emphasized: "Alexander, we only have a lot of bald people here, but the bald people still have some hair!"

Alexandre Dumas nodded slightly and said, "Let me correct you, there are quite a lot of fake monks in Britain."

Dickens looked at Elder's letter and thought for a while, then asked: "So can this letter be published in a newspaper? Why do I feel that the content of this letter is more explosive than erotic literature?"

Arthur also felt that Elder's letter was a bit hot. He hesitated for a long time, and finally sighed and said: "Let's just change the second half, and try to change the dolphin thing, and adapt it to "Encounter" Elder, an Amazon cannibal but a determined Royal Navy soldier, withstood the test of life and death. After being depressed, he saw the light of St. Elmo's sent by God. Under the influence of this magical lightning passed down by sailors from generation to generation Under the witness, Elder seemed to see General Horatio Nelson, the soul of the Royal Navy, waving to him. In the end, Elder's heart knot was finally untied. After many vicissitudes of life, Elder Carter's love for God in his heart The faith became stronger and stronger. Finally, I added the words 'God bless Britain' to conclude."

When Alexandre Dumas heard this, he couldn't help complaining: "Isn't God bless America the motto of the Yankees? Arthur, you are plagiarizing!"

But Disraeli obviously disagreed with Alexandre Dumas's view. He replied: "The Yankees are all made in Britain. If God blesses America, then God must bless Britain first. Alexander, you have to understand the cause and effect first." "

After finishing speaking, Disraeli did not forget to extend his thumb to Arthur, nodded and praised: "This story sounds very politically correct. If this story is spread more widely, it will not be good for Arthur." After De comes back, he will be stuffed into a church and become a bishop."

When Alexandre Dumas heard this, he also winked and joked: "Do I have to make him a saint or something?"

"Indeed." Arthur took a sip of tea to calm down and said, "Wukong finally defeated the Buddha in a fight. Of course, no matter what kind of saint or Buddha he is, he is still a monkey after all."

While everyone was talking, Dickens had already drafted the outline of the story on the manuscript paper in front of him.

He held the pen in his mouth and asked: "What do you think is a good name for this story?"

Alexandre Dumas thought for a while: "How about "The Conquest of the Dolphin"?"

Dickens shook his head while holding the teacup and said: "But isn't Mr. Carter conquered? And out of consideration for safeguarding his reputation, dolphins cannot appear in this story."

Disraeli pondered for a while: "What about Sea Crusade?"

Dickens thought for a while: "This is good, but it may not be well integrated with the main theme."

When everyone was hesitant, Arthur sighed and said: "Let's call it "The St. George's Flag Rises as usual". The St. George's Cross corresponds to the Royal Navy, and the St. George's Cross as usual represents Elder's emergence from depression. . Although I think this guy doesn’t seem to be depressed at all, he simply got sick. But no matter what, it’s for publicity. Charles, just write it like this.”

Dickens nodded slightly when he heard this. He picked up his pen and wrote down the title at the top of the manuscript. Then he snapped his fingers and said: "Okay! I also think this title is good, so let's settle on it. The next issue of "The British" will focus on "Baby" Diary of the Voyage of the USS Goer" and "St. George's Flag Rises as usual"."

Disraeli also clenched his fists to cheer everyone up and said: "This is also a good opportunity to verify how far our "British" strength has progressed! Guys, work harder and win in Berger. While the ship is sailing, let’s see if we can create two new sea gods in Britain!”