Shadow of great britain

In the cafe opposite the University of London, there were simply a few plates of snacks on the table, and four young people with nothing to do gathered together to chat on their day off.

Elder put a carefree hand on the back of the chair and asked the two people sitting opposite: "So aren't you two students from the University of London?"

The two shook their heads, and Mill said: "We are friends and met in the London Debating Society."

"Debating society?"

Arthur added some milk to the coffee and asked while stirring: "Why does the Debate Association go to the campus of the University of London to debate? Our school is already noisy enough. You may not know that combining Protestants and Catholics What would it be like to have atheists, atheists, and a lot of other weird things locked up on the same campus?”

Roebuck joked: "How can it be worse than Oxford?"

Elder found the resonance immediately, and even his tone became much more affectionate: "Don't you like Oxford too?"

Mill heard this and said disdainfully: "How many utilitarians have a good impression of Oxford? Even Mr. Bentham, an Oxford graduate, frowned when he mentioned Oxford. We both work in the "Westminster Review" I heard Mr. Bentham mention it when I was studying.

He said that when he was studying in Oxford, his tutor's greatest pleasure was to prevent his students from having any fun. As soon as he entered the school, he asked Mr. Bentham to read Cicero's "Lectures". Even though he knew it by heart, he continued reading it every day. You still have to keep reading.

When it comes to class, you just follow the textbook. The so-called geography class is to hang a map on the blackboard and then tell you which place is where. In that kind of class, if you want to learn something, you have to rely entirely on yourself.

The tutors at Oxford have always been indifferent to their students, and it is difficult to develop any feelings between students. If we follow Mr. Bentham's original words, it is that "the tutors do some boring daily tasks in the morning and play cards in the evening." Some of the seniors are dissolute and extravagant, some are depressed and eccentric, and most of them are lifeless. ’”

When Elder heard this, he couldn't help but said: "No wonder when I was in school, I heard Mr. Bentham scolding Oxford at a lecture. He said, 'I think lies and hypocrisy are the inevitable results of British university education. , and it is the only inevitable result. This is why we must open the University of London, we cannot let Britain's outstanding young people be destroyed at the hands of Oxford and Cambridge'."

When Mill heard this, he smiled and asked, "So where do you two work?"

Elder heard this and said proudly: "I serve in the Royal Navy. As for Mr. Arthur Hastings next to me, he is an amazing person. It has only been more than a year since he graduated, and now he has become Superintendent of Scotland Yard."

Roebuck was stunned for a moment when he heard this, and then asked in surprise: "You have reached such a high position just one year after graduation?"

When Roebuck heard the name Hastings, he seemed to think of something. He asked Mill: "Have you forgotten? It's that Hastings. Mr. Bentham also specifically mentioned it in "Westminster". The Review published two articles about the theft case between him and the little boy."

Mill was reminded by his companion, and then he remembered. He smiled and said: "So you are the Hastings police officer? You must be credited with more than half of the credit for the revision of the Bloody Act."

Faced with such compliments from the other party, Arthur was just modest: "Actually, Sir Peel has wanted to promote the bloody bill a long time ago. My case can only be regarded as an opportunity."

But Roebuck shook his head and said: "You can't say that, Mr. Hastings. You should understand that many things in Britain lack an opportunity. Without this opportunity, no matter how good the preparations are, it will not work.

Take the matter of parliamentary reform, for example. Although the issue of reform has been raised for decades, it has never been as close to success as it is today.

And all this turned out to be because the Duke of Wellington favored progressive Catholic emancipation, which led to the split of the Tory party. Nowadays, the die-hard Tories who were most opposed to reform in the past are also demanding reform. Do you think this is funny? "

When Mill heard this, he also said with envy: "To be honest, Mr. Hastings, I am a little envious of you. The work you do is more meaningful than mine, and it is more helpful to society. You may not You know, the reason why I stopped writing in the Westminster Review two years ago was because I fell into confusion.

I felt as if the work I was doing was meaningless and I felt like I was simply wasting my time and wasting my life.

Just like what Coleridge wrote in the poem: Working without hope is like putting wine into a sieve. Hope without goals cannot exist.

I felt as if I could no longer exist. "

Arthur looked sympathetically at this early depression patient in the 19th century: "Your symptoms are quite similar to another friend of mine."

"Really?" Mill asked, "What's the name of your friend? Maybe I know him. I have indeed met some people who have the same symptoms as me."

Arthur did not hide anything: "Benjamin Disraeli, candidate No. 4 for the Westminster constituency. God bless, he had better be elected as an MP this year, otherwise I will probably have to listen to him again all afternoon. Bitter water.”

Elder asked as if he was familiar with it: "By the way, John, what do you do for a living? How can it be meaningless?"

Mill smiled reluctantly: "I am a clerk of the East India Company."

Arthur was drinking coffee, and when he heard this, he almost couldn't help but vomit in the face of Roebuck, who was sitting opposite.

He picked up the napkin next to him and wiped his mouth and said, "Now I probably understand why you are so depressed. The East India Company's London office is a place where even Oxford and Cambridge students would break their heads trying to squeeze in."

Elder hugged his head and cried: "Damn it! How did you squeeze in? Why am I not so lucky? Do you still accept people there? If you do, I will quit my job in the Royal Navy immediately. "

Roebuck also nodded while holding the coffee cup: "John, I told you, your life is already quite good. Don't think about things that you have and don't have all day long. Relax a little. If you are fighting sacks at the dock all day long, you won't have time. ."

Mill seemed to be used to their reactions. He pursed his lips helplessly: "It is not as difficult as you think to join the East India Company. As long as you can successfully graduate from the East India College in Haileybury, London, you can do it." Successfully started working in the company.”

Elder tapped the table excitedly: "John, don't you understand? You are lucky to be a clerk in the East India Company, not to mention that you are still in the London office. My God! You know what this means. What are you doing? This means that you don’t have to travel across the ocean, and you can still enjoy a high salary. And you have no time, which means that the work in the London office must be very busy, right? "

Mil was chased too closely by him, so he could only reveal part of the information: "It will be a little busier during the peak transportation season."

“What about the off-season?”

Mill picked up the coffee cup guiltily: "Business secrets."

Seeing that Elder's emotions were about to be uncontrollable, Mill quickly changed the topic: "But we are not talking about this issue now. The reason why I am empty is because I am thinking, 'What if all the goals in my life are achieved? , all the system and concept changes you expect can be fully realized immediately, will this be your great happiness and joy?'"

When Arthur, who had been silent until now, heard this, he suddenly said: "Of course not. Not only that, but if all your goals are achieved, you will be in pain. Because from now on, you will just live. And alive. Even if you set a very mediocre goal for yourself, such as making 100 million or something, it is better than setting a goal that can be easily accomplished."

When Mill heard this, his eyes lit up: "Mr. Hastings, you really thought so too. At that time, I was in a state of losing my target.

Because I found that the whole foundation on which I had built my passion for life collapsed, and all my happiness originally consisted in the unremitting pursuit of this goal. Now that the original goal is no longer attractive, how can I continue to be interested in the means to achieve it?

At that time, I was like what was described in "Depression" - sadness without severe pain, emptiness, melancholy, desolation, sleepy, suffocating, passionless sadness that could not be naturally relieved with words, sighs or tears.

I feel like I can't keep up the energy to do anything, and I live in a haze every day. I can hardly remember what I did in the past few years, as if I didn't live in those years.

I tried to find relief in my favorite book, but to no avail. Those works that I thought were great in the past are of no help to me. They have lost their charm.

I also thought about seeking help from my father, but in the end I couldn't make up my mind because all signs showed that he didn't understand the mental pain I was going through at all, and even if I could make him understand, he wouldn't be able to cure me. doctor.

As for my friends, as you can see, Roebuck and the others cannot understand me. "

Arthur asked: "Then how did you come out?"

Mil smiled and sighed. The temperature in the bright cafe was not too high, but there were beads of sweat on his head.

"I was reading Marmontel's "Memoirs" at the time, and by chance I read a part about the grief of his family when his father died. Marmontel, who was just a little boy at the time, suddenly received a revelation. He felt that, too, Let the family feel that he can be everything to them - to replace everything they have lost.

This scene shocked me deeply. Although I am embarrassed to say this, I was indeed moved to tears. From that day on, the burden on me became lighter.

Gradually, I discovered that the ordinary little things in life can still bring me joy. I can still find happiness in the sun, the sky, books, conversation, and public affairs, not intensely, but enough to make me happy.

And once again I had the belief for myself, and I had the excitement of taking action for the common good. The clouds above my head slowly dissipated, and I could enjoy the fun of life again. "

When Arthur heard this, he couldn't help but smile: "I thought you needed enlightenment, but I didn't expect you to come out on your own. Living for the public benefit is indeed a sustainable goal, and you Never worry about it ever coming to fruition because there will always be something for you to do.

Mr. Mill, maybe you should write a book. I believe it will help many people who have the same symptoms as you. I especially hope to recommend this book to my friend Benjamin Disraeli. Maybe he can gain a lot from your book. "

Mill picked up the handkerchief and wiped his sweat: "Thank you, Arthur, maybe I should consider this matter. But I think it should be a few years later. It may be too early to write memoirs at our age. But you can consider it. Write down your mental journey when handling the case. If it is published, I will definitely buy a copy.

This is the first time I have met someone who understands me like you. Most of the others, like Roebuck and this friend of yours, just said that I was idle without asking any questions. "

Roebuck was dissatisfied when he heard this: "I didn't say that at the time. I asked you to read more Byron's poems, and you will be fine."

Mill stared and said: "Byron's poems? You don't even look at what he did in Britain. He didn't leave any good influence on this country."

Arthur joked: "John, you don't need to praise me like this. I understand your reason, maybe it's because I am also an idle person, right?"

Mill held the coffee cup and frowned: "Idle people? Will Scotland Yard police officers be idlers?"

When Elder heard this, he casually said in front of these two young people who were close to Bentham: "If it's not now, it will be soon. When the Whigs come up, Arthur He may have to pack up and leave Scotland Yard. Then, he will have empty time. But I can't do the job of enlightening people, John, and you will have to help me with this job."

Roebuck asked, "What the hell is going on?"

Arthur smiled: "It's not a big deal. There are factional struggles. There are them in Parliament, of course they are in Scotland Yard, and they must be where you work. It's like the "Edinburgh Review", "The Westminster Review" and The Quarterly Review always plays like a three-way competition. But in other places besides newspapers, as long as it falls behind, it will be out."

Mill keenly captured the meaning of Arthur's words: "You mean that the Whigs will replace you as soon as they come to power? Is that impossible? Didn't you do a great job at Scotland Yard?"

Roebuck couldn't help waving his hands after hearing this: "John, you have been in vain in the East India Company in the past few years, and you have really made no progress in practice. Have you forgotten? Revising the Bloody Act, Robert Peel, Arthur, this must be Being labeled a Peel Pie.

This is just like the reorganization of the board of directors of your East India Company. Every time there is a reorganization, a group of senior civil servants of the company have to be replaced. Arthur's position in Scotland Yard is not low. If a Home Secretary comes up who can't deal with Peel, then it would be reasonable to replace him. "

When Mill heard this, he bit the finger that was stuffed into his mouth and murmured: "This is not okay. It is not in the public interest to replace an outstanding police officer like Arthur. Factional struggle is a damn thing. Can’t they just concentrate on their work?”

Roebuck leaned on his chair and thought about the solution: "John, why don't you contact Mr. Southern, the editor of the Westminster Review? There should be many Whig parliamentary candidates there. contact information."

When Mill heard this, he couldn't help but cursed: "Roebuck, you don't know, the editor now is not Southern, but Pauling. I used to write articles for the "Westminster Review" It's also the last time.

My father and I had a complete falling out with the editorial board. You don’t know, but Pauling, that bastard, secretly sold the newspaper’s distribution rights without telling us.

We all know that running a newspaper is very difficult, so we almost never receive royalties from the newspaper. But he did such a thing. I will never forgive him in my life! My depression has a lot to do with this incident. He ruined my ideals! "

When Roebuck heard this, he couldn't help but cover his forehead: "Then this will be difficult...London University...this school brand is not popular..."

"University of London, University of London...that's right!" Mill's eyes suddenly lit up and he burst into action.

He put away the coat that was placed on the chair and said to Arthur: "Arthur, don't worry. I'm going to York this afternoon. You wait for my good news."

After saying this, Mil hurried out of the cafe door.

Arthur looked at his figure quickly disappearing into the street, and asked Roebuck: "What did he do?"

Roebuck was also confused by him: "I don't know!"

Only Elder laughed twice in a conspiratorial manner: "You don't understand this?"

"You understand, why don't you tell me quickly?"

Elder picked up the coffee cup and took a leisurely sip. He put down the cup and said calmly: "Sorry, trade secrets."