Reborn As An Evolving Monster

"Kill them."

'Huh?'

"Kill them." The Darkness next to the white-scaled Monster whispered as it pointed.

'I can't.'

"Kill them."

'I don't have the strength.'

"Kill them."

'I don't have the endurance.'

"Kill them."

'I don't have any Mana left either.'

"Kill them."

'I don't have the means.'

"Kill them. With a bang."

'With a bang?'

The white-scaled Monster's face twisted.

Puzzled.

Its right hand let go of the pants it had been given.

'With a bang...'

The white-scaled Monster extended an arm towards the group. Towards the leader, Ani.

It folded its pinkie and ring finger.

Its hand took the shape of a gun as it pointed at them.

"Kill them. With a bang."

The white-scaled Monster pulled its hand back and stared at its palm.

'With a bang...' What did it mean? Why did the sentence make such an intense feeling sprout in its stomach? 

"Kill them."

'I...'

"Kill them."

The white-scaled Monster's gaze moved back towards the group.

Towards Ani.

She had lost an arm. She was bleeding from countless wounds. She had lost someone important. 

Yet, she managed to smile in front of her Soldiers.

'I don't... Want to.'

"Don't you want to grow stronger?"

'I do.'

"Don't you covet her strength?"

'I do.'

"Don't you want to Devour her?"

'I...'

The fight with Ani, the lack of Endurance Points, the events that had taken place earlier, the lack of sleep.

They all contributed to Mark's current state of mind.

Was he dreaming? Was he awake? He couldn't tell.

Was the Darkness something he was hallucinating? Was it the manifestation of something else? He couldn't tell.

And he didn't think about it.

Mark didn't want to think at the moment.

Were he to let his mind wander, were he to try thinking about something, he knew that his mind would inadvertently revert back to Eli-

"Were you stronger, that wouldn't have happened. Kill them. Grow stronger."

'I don't have the means.'

"Search for those means within you. You have the strength."

'I don't. I don't want to.'

"Why don't you want to get stronger?"

The white-scaled Monster stared silently.

The one we follow is you, Commander! Not Sloth-

That's right! The one we respect is you, Commander-

The one we want to be with is you, Commander-

The one we're in love with is you, Commander-

Ani's clenched fist descended upon Boa's head.

Just shut up you idiots. And I'm no Commander anymore. Call me...-

Mark could barely hear them. Still, he stared.

"You killed someone that was important to her. She lost Soldiers hunting you down."

'She did.'

"Yet, they laugh."

'They do.'

"Yet, they smile."

'They do.'

"Despite those things, they look at peace. Her smile especially. Serene and peaceful."

'It is.'

"Smiling that peacefully, that truthfully... You didn't think this was possible for someone like you, did you?"

'Huh?'

"You didn't think you could be like that, did you? At peace and serene. Those things aren't for you. You'll never be able to smile like that. You'll never be able to feel like that."

'What's-'

"You strive on the chaos. The destruction. You crave. No matter how far you run away from it, no matter how much you're pulled away from it-"

'Shut up.'

"You want to destroy. You want to break things. You want to hurt."

'Shut up. I don't want that. I just...'

"You'll never be like them, Mark."

"Shut up."

"No matter how much time you spend with them, your darkness won't fade away."

"I said shut up."

"Your ugliness won't leave. It is part... No. It is who you are. It is what makes you, you. Having your scales painted white won't make you any purer. In the first place, the dark scales stand out too much."

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

Why is that guy shouting-

What's wrong with him-

Want us to teach him a lesson, Commander? Cause we will-

"I SAID PUT SOME PANTS ON!!" Boa shouted.

The sudden shout made the white-scaled Monster shudder.

It grabbed the dark pants with both hands and raised a leg.

"Covering up, really?" The Darkness asked. "A Monster wearing clothes. Isn't that ridiculous? Oh... These guys and Lin wore clothes, didn't they? So did the Corrupted Dark Elves you killed and Devoured. But you're not like them, are you? You're a real Monster. You're worse than them."

"GET A MOVE ON! I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR D-" Boa's shout was interrupted as Ani's fist descended upon his head again.

"Do you think that covering up changes anything? You think that if you cover it up, you'll forget about it? Oh... You asked for it some time ago, didn't you? Good thing your wish was only granted now. Getting separated while having this Commander looking for you would have been troublesome."

"Stop talking." The white-scaled Monster ordered as it put on the pants it had been given.

"You look ridiculous. What are you getting dressed for? Do you think something as simple as putting pants on makes you any less of a Monster?"

"I don't."

"Then what are you getting dressed for?"

"I just remembered... Nia told me about it. About the fact that those inside a Demon Lord's Territory can be affected by the Deadly Sin that the Demon Lord holds."

"So?"

"So I will go back. And explain."

"Explain? What is there to explain?"

"I'll explain... That it wasn't me. That it wasn't my fault."

"But it was you. And it was your fault."

"It wasn't." The white-scaled Monster would have shouted, had it any energy to spare. "The Demon Lord of Lust... Its influence is what-"

"That's your excuse?"

The white-scaled Monster's brow twitched.

"It's not an excuse. It's an explanation."

"So you'll go back to them?"

"I will."

"You'll go back to their side?"

"I will." The white-scaled Monster answered before rotating its body and taking a resolute step forward.

"So you'll put them at risk again?"

Mark shuddered at the question.

"They finally got away from you, and you want to go back? You hurt Elisa. Hurt her badly. And you want to go back? You think an excuse would change anything?"

"It's not an excuse! It's-"

"If it's the Demon Lord's fault, then why didn't the same thing happen to Elisa?"

"It's..."

"It's what? Can't find the words? Then let me explain it to you. The Demon Lord isn't at fault. You are. Going back to them? When you can't control your body? When you can't control your Lust? Going back to them when you can't even control yourself?"