I Won't Be a Loser

"I'm going to call mom."

"Ah."

Standing by the car, watching Ying Lili enter the house, the sage slowly raised his head, looked at the familiar environment of the mansion, and looked around.

Different times, standing in the same place, also have different feelings.

It's not the same as it was then.

The bottom of my heart is also very clear, but when standing here, the sage still can't help but recall the pictures of those times.

Sage doesn't have much interest in the comic exhibition, especially when he comes to the comic exhibition as part of the staff, he feels even more boring.

"It seems that there are many more people participating in this year's exhibition than last year, and I feel that tomorrow will be far more busy than before."

When she got off the car, Ying Lili had already put on a mask and sunglasses on her face, but her bright blonde hair was not covered up at all. The sage stood outside the venue, listening to her emotion, and then looked at her. Sayuri Sawamura, who got off the car, turned her head away.

"What are you going to do, Yinglili?"

"Huh? I'll go in with you."

Taking out the booth certificate, she handed it to the sage and her mother, and Ying Lili wore one herself, planning to go in with the two to set up a booth.

"Then let's go together."

Doujinshi does not need to move in for the time being, the three of them enter the exhibition with posters in hand, and start to simply set up their booths. The work is not very complicated, but it is not easy. In the venue Finding your own booth will take some time.

After arriving at his booth, it took a lot of time to decorate some posters and other decorations. When it was finished, the sage was sweating in the stuffy venue.

"Huh, that's all for the time being, isn't there any problem with this?"

Looking at the two people beside her, she asked Ying Lili, and the girl had no objections. Sayuri Sawamura looked around, and felt that there was no big problem, so she picked up some garbage, and the three of them together left the venue.

"You can take a rest at night, the key is tomorrow."

"Go to the restaurant together?"

Facing Ying Lili's invitation, the sage shook his head slightly.

"There are still people waiting for me, so I won't go. There were some things yesterday, so I have to go back today."

"yesterday?"

"Nothing, then, goodbye."

Without explaining anything to Eriri, Sage said goodbye to Sayuri, and then walked towards the subway station, looking at his back, Sawamura Sayuri also looked at her daughter.

Going straight all the way, the sage who arrived at the subway station took the subway and stayed quietly in the subway, looking at the people around him, and quietly lowered his head.

After returning to his apartment, he opened the door, entered the house, and directly entered the bathroom.

The sound of drizzling water made the sage gradually calm down. He walked to the balcony, looked at Qingpu's house opposite, and then at his empty room. He casually put down the gauze curtains, leaving a small gap, After turning on the air conditioner, he walked to the desk, sat down and looked at his computer.

"No progress at all."

It’s been a while since I’ve written it, and the content is nearly 20 words, which is enough for a short story, but the sage’s goal at the beginning is not a short story, at least [-] words.

But now, I don't know how to write it down.

Recalling the dream he had before, he sighed and closed the computer in front of him, slowly looked up to the sky, looked at the ceiling in his room, feeling a little dazed in his heart, sat quietly on the seat, and thought over and over again Some questions that I don't often think about on weekdays.

That is, recently, I suddenly felt that my whole body became tired.

"It's just going to a private school, so it won't be so tiring."

Whispering softly, and looking down at the notebook in front of him, he slowly stood up and lay down on his bed——

When I woke up, warm wind was blowing into the house.

Slowly opened his eyes, sat up and saw the dark room.

"blacken?"

It was already night, the sage himself didn't know what time it was, he sat up slowly, looked towards the direction of the balcony, the warm wind blew into the room, the drowsy brain made the sage stand up Sometimes, walking is a little wobbly.

Little by little, he came to the balcony and glanced at Qingpu's house opposite.

The lights are bright, and there is no rest.

But I didn't want to disturb the other party, and I didn't want to move at this moment. I slowly leaned against the threshold of the balcony, and sat down a little bit. Looking at the night scene of the city and the insects, I couldn't help closing my eyes. .

"what--"

I don't know if it's because of meeting Sayuri, or some other reason, but he feels so tired, tired of everything, doesn't want to think about anything, doesn't want to do anything.

"breathe......."

Even breathing became so difficult for a moment.

Sometimes there are times when I think like that, I always feel that there are too many entangled things in this world, and just thinking about those things makes me feel painful.

What is the purpose of living?

Love and Hatred?

Carrying the expectations and expectations of others, walking on the road expected by others, just moving forward according to the wishes of others, as numb as a puppet on a string, once there is no urging from others, it will not act on its own.

——Go forward, keep going forward, don't stop, if you stop, you will be in the abyss, if you stop, you will be smashed to pieces.

The palm of his hand rested on his forehead, and the expression on his face became painful.

Falling in love with Sayuri may be a rebellion against her own life, a rebellion against her docile life, but the result of the rebellion...

Just live.

Don't struggle too much, live in peace and stability.

Sitting powerlessly on the balcony, he slowly opened his eyes, looking at the bright moon hanging high in the sky, the sage stood up with a long sigh.

I just took my wallet, left my apartment, went out and walked on the street at night, under the illumination of street lamps, the sage walked forward step by step, not knowing my destination, just continued to stay in my own place at night At home, there is nothing to do.

The neon red and green lights flickered at the end of his sight. He was always a straight figure, looking a little hunched, with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the road in front of him, moving forward——

Society has many restrictions on minors. Even if occasionally some people do not abide by those rules for profit, at least most of them will not do things that cause trouble for themselves.

There are also many patrolling policemen on the streets at night, so you don't need to worry too much about safety. Of course, the premise is that you don't go to those dark corners and alleys.

"Do you mean to stay at my house for free?"

"Uh-huh."

I heard a little voice in front, looked over, and saw a girl squatting under the light, and a young man who was drunk and looked like a social animal no matter what.

- - - -

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When the Cicadas Cry in Summer: 245. Open the door, I know you are at home

The sudden sound of footsteps also caused the two people who were still communicating just now to look at the sage under the light in unison.

Seeing that it was a boy who was about the same age as her, the girl withdrew her gaze, and the young man who was obviously a social animal stared at the sage for a long time, then pointed at the girl in front of her. , pointing at himself again.

"That, you—I—"

After staring at the girl in front of him and the man standing in front of her for a while, the sage withdrew his gaze. In this society, such situations are rare, but it is not a rare thing .

As long as it is not forced, such things as you like and I like, he will not be idle and meddle in other things, and he will keep his sight away, and continue to walk forward.

The man stared wide-eyed, watching the sage pass by him, and gradually walked towards the distance. When the figure of the sage disappeared in the darkness, the man was still a little numb, silent for a long time, staring at the disappearance of the sage. Direction, couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief...

Ignoring those things that have nothing to do with me, in the middle of the night, the sage walking on the street walked forward all the way, without thinking about the destination, unknowingly, he came from Bunkyo District to Koishikawa Korakuen nearby.

Because it was late at night, the park was closed.

The sage standing at the door looked at the scenery in the garden, then turned around and walked in other directions. The sage, who didn't know what to do at night, wandered around outside and chose an izakaya. walked in.

Compared with my cold apartment, there are many people sitting in the izakaya at night, even in the middle of the night, there are still many people who just got off work.

Maybe there are also some who don't want to go back to their own homes. Faced with those annoying and trivial matters in their own homes, many club members also gather in the izakaya, holding wine glasses without the politeness of the day, shouting and roaring wantonly, venting their love for life. and job dissatisfaction.

Sitting down in a corner, watching those people shouting and roaring, the sage just quietly listened to their unwillingness and anger, drinking cup after cup of barley tea.

When the dishes I ordered were brought to the table and I was about to eat——

"Wow! Wow—"

Some unharmonious voices came from a direction not far in front of him. The sage didn't look up because he knew what happened very well. He sighed and picked up the tea cup, took a sip of tea, and listened quickly The clerk who rushed over apologized to the others and cleaned up the environment in the store.

For such an environment, it is somewhat difficult to adapt.

Sitting dully for a while, he reluctantly put the dishes he ordered into his own mouth and into his belly, the sage stood up slowly, looked at the surrounding environment, checked out and left Izakaya.

Of course, when he left the izakaya, he still paid attention, avoided the wet floor, and left the izakaya silently.

And just as he walked out of the izakaya, he saw an upright man standing near the izakaya, fertilizing the flowers and plants. He glanced at him and then calmly shifted his gaze to other directions.

'Let's go back. '

After going out for a walk, the sage again came to the conclusion that his apartment was better, so he relaxed his mind, and his mood improved a little.

On the way back to my apartment, I bought some drinks and some snacks by the way.

He is not very interested in snacks, but during the time he lived in Tokyo in Sanye and Yotsuba, he was reminded of his childhood memories, and he is still more interested in some desserts.

Cotton candy, cola candies, chocolate chips...

Carrying the plastic bag, on the way back to his apartment, he passed the intersection where he came, saw the girl squatting under the street lamp, and the sage stopped his footsteps.

"Ah...that just now."

The girl also saw the boy who appeared in front of her. Facing the boy's indifferent eyes at the moment, she was still full of laughter. She supported her cheek with one hand and looked at the boy who stopped suddenly.

"Ready to go home?"

"Didn't you go with that man just now?"

"It seems that because of your appearance, I was worried that there would be bad rumors, so I didn't agree and rejected me."

"That's really sad news."

"So, are you ready to go home now?"

"There is such a preparation."