I Have Crossed Over, but You Are The Second Week?

That is, his parents, Natsuki Kenichi and Natsuki Naeko never objected to his suspension of school, but they easily agreed after he said that he didn't want to go to school because he was bored.

There may be irresponsible parents who would indulge their children like this, but Natsuki Kenichi and Natsuki Keiko are not the kind of irresponsible parents, they would not accept his reason for dropping out of school just because they were bored for no reason of.

However, let alone questioning, the two people who didn't even feel disgusted were supporting what Echidna said at this moment.

His past may not be what he remembered.

However, if memories are always false...

"What was my past like..."

Subaru turned his head in disbelief and looked at the corner where the violent incident had taken place before, where 'he' led the violent incident, and his already uncalmable thoughts became even more chaotic.

"Your past... If you want to know this kind of thing, you just need to continue the trial?"

Like a demon that seduces the ignorant but full of desire human beings to fall into darkness, Echidna's soft but seductive voice rang in Subaru's ears.

"As long as you continue to practice, even if this is not a complete memory of the past, you will recognize yourself again."

"So...do you want to continue?"

Chapter 351 Your Emilia

"Pleiades……"

"How are you, Subaru?"

A little confused, Subaru opened his eyes, and noticed that he was lying on the ground with Emilia's legs as his pillow, surrounded by dots of fluorescent lights, proving that the ruins still had possession of him and Emilia. Respond to those who are qualified to test.

"...I see, just now... it was a trial."

Subaru covered his head and sat up. He didn't feel a headache, but simply remembered what happened during the trial, and thought of things that made him unacceptable, so he felt conflicted.

"Subaru, you look so bad, what happened?"

Emilia looked at Subaru worriedly and asked.

"I...no, nothing..."

Subaru shook his head, his tone was so low that even he himself was a little surprised.

Subaru himself didn't notice that his face was ugly and scary at this time, and the gloomy aura exuded from his whole body made people feel a little scared for no reason.

Emilia had never seen Subaru like this before.

No, no... She has actually seen it before.Before her 'rebirth', in the future where Subaru was wished for and hunted down because of the monster attack in the Mezas territory, she had seen such a Subaru.

The whole person is in a very depressed and painful state, without a smile or spirit, with an ugly and gloomy face, as if everything he believes has betrayed him, as if he is unwilling to accept anything and dare not accept it , that look...

Emilia was terrified, afraid that Subaru would once again turn into the man she knew who was called the 'King of Purge'.

She's not scared out of fear, she's scared out of heartache.Emilia knew very well that something that could make Subaru show such an expression must be very painful and unacceptable. She was afraid that Subaru would once again become the man who couldn't laugh, but only hurt and pain.

So, even though she didn't know what happened, Emilia still stretched out her hands and hugged Subaru tightly in her arms, gently, as if taking care of a baby, letting Subaru gently lean against her. On his chest, he put his hand on his head and stroked it back and forth.

"It's okay, it's okay!"

"I'm here, your Emilia is here, no matter what happens, I will be by your side, no matter what happens, I will be by your side."

"So, it's alright, Subaru."

"...Emilia."

"Well, your Emilia is here!"

At this time, Emilia is not shy about saying that she belongs to Subaru so bluntly. As long as she thinks that Subaru may fall into someone's pain again, she will not be able to calm down anyway. down.

However, she has never learned how to comfort someone, and the only similar experience is the relatively silent contact with Subaru once in a while, and Subaru quietly rests on her lap.

Therefore, Emilia could only use the best method she could think of, trying her best to cheer up Subaru.

"My Emilia...it's too embarrassing."

Subaru, leaning on Emilia's chest, sat up in Emilia's arms while sighing in silence for a while.

"I'm not a child anymore. If I was taken care of as a child, it would make me feel a little ashamed."

"It's not ashamed. If it's Subaru, I can do anything. Besides, I'm just telling the truth, right?"

"...Even if you say so, Emilia."

Subaru scratched his head helplessly, but he still smiled at Emilia, and this time, his smile was not forced.

"However, thanks to Emilia, I've cheered up!"

Subaru stood up from the ground, and stretched out his hand to pull Emilia up as well.

"Although it feels a pity to leave Emilia's arms like this, but if you stay here all the time, other people should be worried."

"Umm... Subaru, if you like, you can do the same in the future."

Emilia blushed a little when she heard Subaru say that, she turned her head away and said in a low voice.

"When there are two of you, you can use a knee pillow or a chest pillow...that's fine!"

"...Well, it's actually a super straight ball."

The refreshed Subaru didn't know what to say for a moment. Although he was good at talking, it was still difficult for him to deal with the direct ball attack from others.

In a situation like this, if he simply accepted it, wouldn't it appear that he was very anxious?But wouldn't it be a pity if you choose to refuse?

Accepting it feels shameful, rejecting it feels shameful, and Subaru is the worst at dealing with such situations.

There was no other way, Subaru could only cough twice, and then changed the subject.

"Speaking of which, Emilia woke up earlier than me, although there is also a reason why you did the trial first..."

"So, have you passed the test?"

Although it was only a one-time trial, Subaru already understood that the so-called "face your past" trial is to make a certain part of your past have a certain meaning and have a certain impact on your life. The experience reappears in front of me.

And the way to pass such a trial is also very simple.At least, it's simple enough to say and sound.

That is to accept the past without any grievances, and go beyond that past. If you insist on saying it, it is like a person who has lost love and is dying, and he can't get out of the psychological shadow.

If one day you get out of the psychological shadow and can accept the failed relationship without prejudice and resistance, then it is considered a pass, and if you can't, then it is a failure.

It was only a brief moment of confusion, and Subaru, who calmed down under Emilia's somewhat shy comfort, noticed that Emilia did not have any kind of stress reaction like him.

What Emilia, who was calm in front of her eyes, was able to prove that there was no difference in peace, was that Emilia either did not have those indelible pasts that profoundly affected her life.

Either it was the past that she didn't care about for a long time, so she couldn't touch her at all.

However, no matter which of these two possibilities, in Subaru's view, it was proof that he successfully passed the trial, which meant that Emilia should have passed the trial.

"Um...sorry, Subaru."

Emilia, who was standing in front of Subaru, lowered her head in frustration.

"I have not passed the test."

............................................................

"Failed the test!?"

What Emilia said was something Subaru really didn't expect. It was precisely because he had experienced the trial of 'facing his past', it was precisely because he understood the meaning of this trial, and it was precisely because he felt the trial that he had gone through. Subaru thought that Emilia, who was no different from usual at this moment, had passed the trial because of the mental shock it had caused him.

Of course, Subaru didn't mean to hope that Emilia who failed the test would be as sad as he was just now, but if Emilia didn't respond at all, then why didn't she pass the test?

At this moment Subaru really wanted to find Echidna and ask her what was going on, but it was a pity that he didn't know how to meet Echidna.

The first time I met Echidona was because she took the initiative to invite her into her 'castle', and the second time I met Echidna was because of the trial.

'Wait a minute, the trial... If you do the trial, you will be able to meet Echidna! '

It was indeed possible to see it, but to be honest, Subaru didn't want to participate in the trial. If he had to say why, the reason was very simple, because he couldn't accept it.

The past shown in the trial was just a spliced ​​content like a montage-style work, but even this spliced ​​content Subaru didn't want to watch it again.

Is it to escape?

It is to escape.

But is evasion really wrong?Is escaping really meant to be cast aside?Although escaping is shameful, it is also useful...

"Sorry, Subaru..."

Emilia lowered her head with some self-reproach and said, "This trial seems to be to create a scene and experience of my past, but I don't know why, the trial did not pass."

"And when I woke up, I saw Subaru lying beside me."

"Speaking of which, although Garfield and Roswaal both said that only mixed blood can qualify for the trial, do you have one, Subaru?"

"Ah, because of someone's bad taste, I got the qualification for the trial."

Subaru nodded helplessly, and then said, "I ran in because I was worried about Emilia, but after I came in, I was forced to undergo a trial."

"And then...it's embarrassing to say, my trial also failed."

Even though Subaru, as a "sage" who has played various types of games and watched various types of novels and animations, was able to realize the conditions for clearing the trial in the first place, but There is no way to actually meet that condition.

When I read novels and animations, I thought the characters in them were hypocritical, and I thought that many things could be dealt with easily, but when he really faced such a similar thing, he realized that many things were not lip service. Talk about it, or just tap the keyboard to solve it.

Facing the trials of the past, he has no way to overcome the past.

After all, he has no memory of the past shown by Echidna at all. What he saw was like a montage cutscene, either he was inflicting violence on others, or he was fighting with gangsters outside the school, or he was being killed Gossip within the school is accompanied by attacks.

If one were to ask him why he chose to drop out of school, Subaru could already clearly say that it was not because of boredom, but because of violence.

From his violence against other people, from other people's violence against him, and finally he can't go to school at all, and he doesn't want to go to school anymore.

But if he was able to calmly accept it, whether he could identify with the past and regard it as his indispensable true self, then Subaru could only say yes, no matter what he couldn't do it.

He couldn't accept that kind of himself, because he accepted such wanton violence against others, fighting and fighting, and finally he was suspended from school because of the speech and cold violence in the school.

Then, it is equivalent to negating what he has been doing all along, from the past to the present, the serious point is not only in this life as Subaru Natsuki, but also together with 'Fuma Kotaro', 'Akigase or' and 'Kawagami Hikosai' These past life beliefs.

It is the belief to help others, to help those in need, to fight against those who impose malicious intentions, to do one's best to do what one thinks is right, and to do one's best to make the people in sight happy.

If he really accepted that 'past', then everything about him, everything that made Subaru Natsuki, everything about him standing in front of Emilia now, would be all false.

Thinking of this, Subaru's heart became heavy again.

In the end, it was just that Emilia's behavior of caring too much about him made him feel warm, so he temporarily put the problem behind him, but since it is a problem, there is no way to avoid it after all.

Is Natsuki Subaru really what Natsuki Subaru himself thinks?