Love Comes After Learning

I don't know what it feels like, I feel like I've been betrayed, but I can't get angry at all when I hear his dull tone like that of a child.

Wanting to get rid of that uncomfortable and awkward mood, Rui subconsciously looked at the bookshelf.

The book has always been the place where she puts her troubles and displeasure, she couldn't help reaching out her hand and touching the cover of the book lightly.

"Can I read these books?"

"can."

He answered again.

For some reason, the annoying feeling of boredom dissipated in an instant.

Obviously there is nothing to be happy about, but Rui found that because of this sentence, her mood suddenly changed for the better.

"Ah."

After nodding slightly, she randomly picked out a book from the bookshelf, glanced around, then sat on his bed, shaking her little feet, and began to look through it.

And the little boy in front of the desk just glanced at her at that moment, then stopped paying unnecessary attention, and continued to devote all his attention to the book.

In the room, the quietness like a reading room slowed down the pace of the air, leaving only the pages of the book gently turning the air.

The two poor-spoken children each held a book, silently reading and turning the pages, letting time slip by without awareness.

△

For Shinichi Asada, reading—or reading and learning is the most important way to understand the world and yourself.

This is true both now and in the past.

When he was ten years old, he suddenly had a high fever and fell down. When he woke up, he found that he had an extra memory of spending 15 years in the experiment.

He was so shocked when he was young, he didn't know who he was, where he lived, and what was he who had acquired those memories?

Under the conflict between two memories and two different thoughts, he lay on the hospital bed for several months. His mental state caused him to have a high fever, vomiting, dizziness, coma, insanity, and constant convulsions.

His body has already been weakened to the extreme, but no disease can be found out. His abnormality can only be defined by the collapse of the autonomic nervous system, and it is even asserted that he will die like this at any time.

Under the anxiety of his parents who washed his face with tears all day long, the ten-year-old he did not want to continue like this, or his survival instinct was supporting him. Suddenly one day he regained consciousness and said the four words "I want to read" to them .

His parents quickly brought him a book from the reading room of the hospital, and helped him to turn the pages page by page. Do everything you can to take care of him.

Books are like good medicine, which heals the chaotic thoughts; the love of parents is life, allowing him to survive the pain of schizophrenia.

I don’t know after a few books, his illness has gradually recovered, he has the strength to turn over the pages of the book, and his thinking has begun to stabilize. He no longer stares at the ceiling stupidly all day long, and he no longer keeps chanting about the third chapter of philosophy like a psychopath. ask.

Finally, he was discharged from the hospital.

Although his body was still too weak, he himself refused to see a psychiatrist, so he naturally had no reason to be hospitalized.

Moreover, "he" also hates the hospital bed that looks like a laboratory table, and the unpleasant smell of disinfectant.

Under Asada's insistence, even though his whole person has become completely different from the past, not only the book cannot be let go, but also his personality has become dark, withdrawn, and taciturn. tragedy.

Because of this, he seems to have autism. Not only did he take a break from elementary school, but he also didn’t leave the room except for washing. He spent all his time on reading and studying, and he didn’t speak more than five sentences a day.

Even if it makes his parents worry, Asada Shinichi has always been like a doll who can only read books, and spent half a year of autistic life like this.

until that day.

A little girl he didn't know suddenly came up to him and asked him a strange question.

"Do you like someone?"

A person?

Of course not.

Whether it is the current ten-year-old life or the past 15-year-old life, Asada Shinichi has never liked the feeling of loneliness.

He also wanted to be able to talk to others with such a cheerful smile like the big sister who broke in just now.

I also want to get out of this room and show everyone a smile as bright as the sun.

But what can't be done is can't be done

-------------Chapter Dividing Line---------------

With so many strange memories in his mind... he can't do this kind of thing at all.

He is just a ten-year-old kid, why did such an inexplicable thing happen to him?

Why let him have more memory?

Why make him different from ordinary children?

He didn't know how to face his parents, to face "other people in this world".

Therefore, he can only choose to study.

Shrink in a person's small world, to gain the joy of knowledge and the satisfaction of understanding the world, to drive away the loneliness and hesitation of those gnawing teeth and claws.

Use the gradually increasing "known" to fight against the "unknown" born from another life-this is the only means of struggle that he can do when he is young.

If you don't do this, Asada Shinichi will sooner or later be burnt out by those memories beyond his age.

even so……

It is absolutely impossible for him to like the feeling of loneliness.

So when the little girl sat down with a book, his heart, which had been as silent as stagnant water, gradually became active.

From that day on, the boy gained a reading buddy.

Every morning, the girl with short blue hair would come in with their breakfast and read a book silently in the room with him, only leaving for lunch, dinner, and before going to bed.

Ju Yangcai once followed into the room, trying to play with the overly quiet younger brothers and sisters, but found that no one paid attention to her at all, and watched them read for a few minutes, and couldn't bear the dull atmosphere and ran away .

The parents of the Asada family also used to carry a mobile phone with which they had a video call with Tachibana Tsukiko, secretly spying on their interaction.Although the two didn't say a word, and even their eyes never met, the adults sighed deeply after peeping. The most worrying thing is that the children can get along so well.

They were obviously just reading books in the same room, she was on the bed and he was at the desk, without saying a word.

Their getting along is so simple and boring, without wind or rain, even so dull that even the contents of the book are clearer than this memory.

But unconsciously, the girl gradually forgot the disappointment of not being able to make friends, and the boy gradually forgot the loneliness of borrowing books to escape.

Until the end, the day when Judu Shuzi returned to China and wanted to take his daughters back.

The girl was still tossing and turning on his bed, reading the book in her hand in various strange postures; The short legs kicked against each other on the bed, and the banging noise made the boy at the desk very annoyed.

That sluggish, dull face tensed slightly, and a trace of unhappiness flashed in the black pool-like eyes, but he forcibly endured it, staring at the words in the book, trying to completely sink into the world of the story.

But she heard the sound of her closing the book and sitting up again.

"I want to help people solve their troubles, do you have any?"

She patted the book in her hand towards the boy, pointed to the big characters of the title "Jieyou Grocery Store" with her little finger, and asked seriously.

He looked away from the book, stared at the girl silently for a few seconds, then shook his head.

"No."

"No, you have." She said with absolute certainty, the natural tone made the corner of the boy's mouth twitch and he gritted his teeth.

"If you don't have one, I'll stay until you do."

The boy really didn't want to talk to her, but there was a determination on that little face that he would do what he said.

When he thought about how hard this annoying guy had to leave, but had to continue to live because of this kind of shit, he could only speak reluctantly.

"Yes... that's fine."

"What is it?" the girl asked blankly.

The boy hesitated for a moment, and gradually tightened his grip on the pages of the book, trembling slightly.

He lowered his head slowly, and spoke calmly in a low tone that didn't match his age.

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm a monster."

Even though he was only ten years old, he suddenly had 15 more years of memory as a guinea pig.

The shock of struggling, wailing, and grief in the midst of illness almost overwhelmed his entire consciousness like a torrent, making him self-doubt to an extremely deep level.

'I know……'

'Me and my mom and dad, and this little girl, and everybody else is different. '

'I'm not normal.I am terrible.I am abnormal.I shouldn't be there. '

'I... am a monster. '

"why?"

The girl's question suddenly pulled his mind, and for a moment of trance, her pair of clear red eyes came straight into the field of vision.

This should be the first time, meeting her eyes, right?

Unlike me, such beautiful eyes...

The boy was stunned for a moment, then blurted out under her questioning.

"can not say."

Because if I say it, I will definitely be looked at with strange eyes, so I don't want to say it.

The only thing I don't want to be known by her is that I have that kind of abnormal past...

The girl frowned tightly, pouted her mouth, and grunted dissatisfiedly.

"What a troublesome guy..."

"Forget it, is this your trouble? Don't you want to be a monster?"

"Do not want to."

She nodded sympathetically: "That's right, even monsters can't make friends, and they can only die alone in the end... Unfortunately, I'm not a monster, so I don't know how to help you."

She spoke very directly, and the boy didn't feel unhappy, he just nodded casually, and was about to end the topic and continue reading.

"However, although I don't know, I can tell you."

She jumped out of bed suddenly and stood beside him.

The curtains were pulled back when she was habitually stationed in his room, and she stood under the clear sunlight, the golden light sprinkled finely on her fair and soft face, like fresh snow falling in early winter.

The girl said to him calmly.