Book of Lolita Plunder

This "promise"... I'm about to forget it, I don't even know what love is, why do I feel so painful, I'm about to forget this agreement, why does it appear in front of me again!

Li Lin did something that he almost forgot in his dream, and recalled it again in his dream...

Obviously, I have almost forgotten that promise countless times, but every time I will recall it when I am about to really forget it, that dream...

That dream..., let me know what is really too much in this world...; that dream..., made me feel that death is not bad for the first time in my life...; that dream..., in the distant place Everything that happened in one day will always be deep in my memory...

If there is really karma in this world, then when did a person who made a mistake in the past..., when should he suffer the retribution that he deserved...?

I've been different since I was little, not that I stand out from the crowd but that I'm... actually a flawed human being.

I am neither physically handicapped nor a mentally handicapped child. On the contrary, I have superhuman physical strength and mind. Generally speaking, a child with excellent sports performance like me should be the favorite of parents. In fact, this is exactly the case If I were born in an ordinary working family, I should be the most powerful brother in the eyes of my sister, the proud son in the eyes of my parents, the envied genius in the eyes of my neighbors...

Generally speaking, it should be like this, if I was born in an ordinary working family...

But my existence itself is already extraordinary enough, so where can I find an ordinary parent, an ordinary family, and an ordinary life?

According to what my incompetent parents said, I have been different since I was born. Other children come into this world with crying, but I am different.As if I didn't know what love is since the day I was born...

This is not to say that I am a cold-blooded and heartless monster who cannot cry or laugh. On the contrary, as I gradually grow up, I am no different from ordinary children. I will cry when I fall and eat lollipops. I can also laugh, but... the strange thing is that I clearly know why I cry and why I laugh...

I cry not because I feel pain, but because my brain judges that "normal people should cry" at this time, so my brain will secrete a small amount of hormones to stimulate my lacrimal glands to secrete a substance consisting of a small amount of inorganic salts, Protein, lysozyme, immunoglobulin a, complement system and other substances are weakly acidic, transparent, colorless saline solution, and this liquid is called tears by "normal people".Similarly, I can laugh because my brain judges that "normal people should laugh" at this time, so my brain will secrete a small amount of hormones to stimulate my facial muscles to start slight peristalsis, and the coordination of the entire 36 facial muscles Only under control can I make this kind of action that "normal people" call laughing.

To put it simply, I don't really have feelings.And the appearance that I have always shown that I have emotions and seem to have a lot of emotions has always been my disguise, a mask I put on to conceal that I have no emotions.It's a pity that although I've always disguised it very well, and as I grew older, almost no one discovered it, but there are still people in this world who know that I am a "monster" without emotions.

For example, the parents who raised me up since I was a child, for example, the girl in my dream who made an agreement with me...

Because I have no feelings.Or it would be more appropriate to say "I will never love again". Anyway, my parents, who knew about this wish since I was a child, never wanted to realize their dreams by nurturing me.Because I was not mature enough when I was young.Learning to pretend now was still full of flaws at that time.So in order to realize my distorted desire to take revenge on the brokerage company that once looked down on them, my incompetent parents put all their expectations on Lujia. As for my existence, I am afraid that it is simply a shame for them. Dispensable...

Because of this reason, Lujia and I almost lived in two worlds since we were young. Lujia had to receive various trainings since she was a child, such as dancing, singing and etiquette. But basically live in a free-range state.In addition to giving Lujia a day off every month so that Lujia can play with me, my incompetent parents devoted all their attention to Lujia.For me, I don't care about it at all, and I often don't even see the two of them for a month.

Of course, this is actually not a bad thing for me, because for children, isn't it the most annoying parental discipline?And every month, I can play with my younger sister Lujia. That day of rudeness is the happiest day in a month for Lujia or for me.Thinking back now, every Lujia would rush over and make out with me after seeing me, and Lujia's overly enthusiastic feelings for me probably started from that time...

I remember one time, my incompetent parents seemed to be planning to take Lujia to Kyushu Island for some kind of training, and it would take three months to come back, and in order to save money, they never considered taking me with them .In fact, this is nothing, because similar things happen often, but it was not as long as three months before, but that day when the incompetent parents told me that they were going to leave, I was really confused.

But I’m only 7 years old anyway, and suddenly my parents told me to stay at home alone for three months, no matter how talented I am, I still feel confused, but I haven’t waited for my reaction At that time, the two of them actually dragged Lu Jia into the taxi at the airport.

My incompetent parents decided everything on their own without asking me what I meant. I still vaguely remember Lujia crying and telling me that she would come back soon to accompany me in the taxi. For a moment I was confused...

I didn't realize it until the taxi was going away until it was about to disappear from my field of vision, and then I desperately chased its shadow with my legs. How could a child catch up with the taxi? When I realized it, not only the taxi had long since disappeared, but I didn't even know where I was now.

At that time..., I discovered that there is such a cruel thing in this world, "I was abandoned by my biological parents", but only this thought remained in my mind.

I continued to run, although I didn't even know where I was going, but I really... I'm tired of everything in this world!

I ran desperately.I didn't look at the surrounding scenery at all and ran with all my strength. During this process, I seemed to hit something into the air, but I didn't care about that at all... A certain housekeeper in debt, because Ayazaki Sa was not a housekeeper at that time, hee hee hee... I even said it was evil...)

At that time, I didn't look at the road signs or the surrounding road conditions at all during the running process. Maybe I ran on the bicycle lane, otherwise I was lucky not to be hit by a car.In short, I really didn't care about anything during the running process, let alone traffic lights and the like. When I finally stopped, my lungs were so painful that I couldn't breathe at all, and even my heart seemed to be constricted. The hammer kept beating, as if the heart would burst in the next second!

Chapter 479 The Man Who Will Never Love Again (Part [-])

Even so, for a moment I thought "I might die if I just keep running without thinking about anything!"

"But it's not bad like this..." I thought this way, because I really felt that nothing mattered, even if I was hit by a car or died of a heart attack, it didn't matter, it would be better to say this, because anyway I Surely no one will be sad after death!

"Maybe... Lujia will cry, crying for my worthless brother... It's not good to let the lovely Lujia cry because of someone like me, because Lujia is crying It's not pretty..."

"Regret", "Sadness", "Lonely", "Sad", the tears couldn't stop flowing down, and these tears were not because of my own pretense, they were real tears, and this was my first time I really tasted the taste of my tears.

"It is clearly recorded in the book that tears are salty, but why do I feel so bitter?" I thought after putting a drop of tear in my mouth.

"If living is so painful, then there is nothing wrong with dying...!" At that time, this thought flashed through my mind again.

However, the two thoughts of wanting to end this painful life early because of the pain of life and continuing to live because I don’t want to make Lujia sad are constantly alternating in my mind. I don’t know what to do. Once started running aimlessly.

Maybe it was at that time that I discovered the specialness of my body. No matter what kind of scars, no matter how tired I am, as long as I take a little rest, I can immediately revive with full blood on the spot. This is really an annoying ability.

But it is precisely because of this ability that I can live until now. I subconsciously touched my extremely smooth right wrist.I can't see that I was slipped by myself several times with a knife, and I hope that this painful life can end sooner.It's a pity that because of this special physique, even if I cut the main artery on my wrist accurately every time, and let the blood gushing out like a fountain in front of my eyes, it would take only a few seconds for the wound, how deep it was, to disappear immediately. Restored, and not even a trace of trace will be left.If it wasn't for the blood all over the floor and the dizziness caused by anemia to remind me, I'm afraid even I would think it was a dream.

Regardless of these things for the time being, in short, I just kept running like this, as if I had crossed the barriers of time and space, and I fell to the ground when I was exhausted.After recovery, get up and continue running.

"How long have you been running...?" I subconsciously thought when I came back to my senses, but the strange scenery around me couldn't tell me this.

"Maybe this is the kingdom of heaven...?" I thought for a moment as I looked at this unknown garden, surrounded only by the soft fragrance of flowers.

But I do know that I will never be able to go to the kingdom of heaven, so I know that this is not the kingdom of heaven.But so what, I don't care anymore anyway.

"It smells so good... it smells..."

Smell the scent of flowers.I gradually relaxed.

"Enough is enough... Enough is enough, I have had enough of this painful life..."

I don't want to go back to that home anymore. How could that kind of guy be my parents? Although I want to say this, I am actually homeless.My body and mind are relaxed and I don't have the strength to stand up anymore, or my heart doesn't want to stand up anymore. How much I want to just lie down and go directly to hell or other worlds!

"Yeah... I can just die like this!" When I said this, a clear and pleasant voice appeared in my ears.

"No! Saying such a sad thing..."

"Although your heart has been hurt and you can't stand up anymore. But your body is not to the point where you can't move, so... stand up quickly!"

The girl's words were not so much comforting as they were commanding, but they were the most pleasing voice I have ever heard.

"What... what! Who are you guys! You don't know anything about me, so just leave me alone!"

I don't know why, but I am full of expectations for the owner of this voice.But what I blurted out was the most vicious thing I could say at that time, but when I realized it, it was too late.Just when I was so nervous because I was worried that the girl would leave me so directly and seemed to forget to beat my heart, the girl's melodious voice like a lark appeared in my ears again.

"It's like this... Indeed, I really don't know anything about you..." The girl's voice seemed a little sad, and I didn't know if it was because of what I just said, but I heard There was a slightly sad tone in the girl's words, but I felt that I was even sadder than her, and a heart-wrenching pain appeared in my chest.