Officer Matsuda Wants To Save Himself

What is Matsuda Jinhei to Hagihara Kenji? What is Hagihara Kenji to Matsuda Jinhei?

They are each other's most important relatives and friends, and they exist in each other's lives like air.

The text messages from the past did not contain any painful and sad speeches, and the emotions were not intense. They seemed flat and quiet.

Matsuda Jinhei is not a character who will hysterically suffer and feel sadness. He is very similar to his father, but completely different. Matsuda Jinhei's father would drink and give up himself because of losses, but Matsuda Jinhei would not.

There is nothing heart-wrenching, nothing unacceptable, unbearable. Matsuda Jinhei is also casual and casual in this regard, not mentioning someone's death in everyday conversation.

【Good morning. 】

[Tsk, I just noticed that the cafeteria has changed, I still like the previous one. 】

[I accidentally broke my sunglasses when I was going to work, and I was not used to it, so I simply took a leave to buy them. It turned out that this style has been replaced, and finally I bought the material and repaired it myself. 】

It takes 21 days to form a habit, more than 21 days of repetition will form a habit, and 85 days of repetition will form a stable habit.

The initial habit formation will have a sense of deliberateness, as if deliberately not to forget someone. But after three months, the habit has become an integral part of life.

[Suddenly remember that today is your birthday? Happy birthday to you then. Without cake, I don't like dessert so much, so I didn't buy it. 】

[When I went back to my hometown, I happened to meet Sister Qiansu. Obviously, I used to see each other often, but now there is no contact. 】

[Sister Qiansu is still the same, but she looks reluctant, so I should show less in front of her. 】

The news appeared one by one in front of Hagihara Kenji in chronological order. He did not turn on the lights, only the brightness of the phone screen reflected on his face, making it difficult to see his expression at the moment.

[I met my high school classmates and they asked me where you were and why you didn't come with me. I told the truth and they immediately apologized to me. To be honest, I don't really like that. 】

[A new person is here, I feel very similar to you, and soon I have a good relationship with other people in the department. 】

[I met Ida once, and he hesitated to comfort me, but in the end he didn’t hold back anything and dragged me to drink. 】

[Speaking of which, those two **** really disappeared completely, and I don't know where they went. 】

【Hagi. 】

Hagihara Kenji felt that his vision was beginning to blur, and he blinked hard, noticing that he hadn't even read the news for a year.

The half-long-haired police officer lowered his head, but his fingers were still moving steadily, and he scrolled down.

He suddenly recalled the change of his friend in the police academy seven years ago, and he had long realized the answer.

It's just that he has never been willing to think carefully. He has always been good at these, integrating everything into his daily life, and then skipping it as a matter of course.

Hagihara Kenji has a big heart, and his overly sunny personality makes him not care so much about many things, and many things are out of his scope of thinking. He has always been good at keeping himself in a happy mood.

Do what you like, avoid what you don't like, go with the flow, go with the flow, his life is that simple.

So many times, it is events that appear in front of him, and he will act.

But this time, the unknown existence printed all this directly in his eyes. At such a time, Hagihara Kenji would no longer be able to escape.

[The General Bureau received a fax with only "3" printed on it today. Other police officers thought it was just a prank. I have a bad feeling. 】

[As a result, another year has passed, and the time is really fast. 】

[The nearby convenience store is closed. Seriously, this brand of cigarettes is not easy to buy. 】

[By the way, don’t you know that I learned to smoke? Well, now you know. 】

[It seems that it is really easy to be misunderstood when sending text messages. Every time a newcomer comes, they will wonder who I am sending them to, and they dare not ask me directly. 】

[Looking at their expressions, I occasionally find it quite interesting. That seems a bit too much to say, and I apologize. 】

[However, I think you should also have this idea, so the apology just now is retracted. 】

Seeing this, Hagihara Kenji couldn't help laughing, but something seemed to be choking in his throat, and he couldn't convey his voice at all.

[Today, the General Administration received another Arabic numeral, this time it is "2", tsk, why does it feel more like a countdown. 】

Hagihara Kenji also had a bad premonition in his heart, and he had the same thoughts as the person opposite the text message. Not to mention, even if it is really a prank, it is impossible for the other party not to care about this date.

Hagihara Kenji looked at the time above the text message, this day was November 7th.

Hagihara Kenji didn't give himself any chance to buffer, he didn't even notice the passage of time, the sky outside the window had already brightened before he knew it.

The text of the text message is too bland, and it is difficult to express a person's emotions at that moment. But Kenji Hagihara seemed to be able to imagine the expression on the face of the person on the other side when he sent this text message.

It seems to be imaginable that the person's actions and tone before sending the text message. With every bit of life outlined in the text message, Kenji Hagihara seemed to see that person's daily life, and felt like he was really spending that long time with him.

—But the reality is not like that, Hagihara Kenji has done nothing and can’t do anything.

At seven o'clock in the morning, Matsuda Jinping pushed open the door of his room. He was wearing loose short-sleeved shirts and came out of the room with a yawn.

Natural curls have always been the most troublesome. Matsuda Jinping scratched his hair, which was tangled in all directions, and turned over the refrigerator to see if there was anything to eat.

"And bread... Let's buy some after get off work." Matsuda Jinping took out a few eggs and stood at the kitchen stove with a sleepy face, yawning a few times in the process.

He determined that there was still time, enough for him to have breakfast before going to work, so he consciously counted Hagihara Kenji's share. Because their shifts were not staggered today, both had to show up at the police station.

Slicing the bread, he knocked two eggs into the frying pan with one hand. During the process of frying the eggs, Matsuda Jinpei called out to Hagihara Kenji's door, "Hagi-has it up?"

Unexpectedly, there was no answer, Matsuda Jinping thought for a while, guessing that it was probably a problem at work yesterday, and Hagihara Kenji slept in again.

After packing the omelette noodles, Matsuda Jinping was still a little sleepy. He stepped on the slippers and stood at the door of Hagihara Kenji's room, knocking twice: "Hagihara? Are you awake?"

The movement in the room could not be heard clearly through the door panel, Matsuda Jinping frowned: "I came in without answering?"

Matsuda Jinping waited at the door for two seconds, and after receiving no answer, he pulled the door handle down. The door was not locked, so he pushed it open easily.

Just the moment he opened the door, Matsuda Jinping's slight sleepiness was instantly drowned out. His pupils contracted, and he rushed up subconsciously. A man who was still out of breath.

"Hagihara?! What happened!"

As a policeman, Matsuda Jinpei has learned a lot about first aid, and he can see at a glance what Hagihara Kenji's symptoms are at the moment.

Hagihara Kenji is short of breath at the moment, he can feel the pressure from his lungs, his hands and feet are numb and cold, and even his brain seems to have reached the point of fainting—

Hagihara Kenji covered his mouth with one hand, and grabbed the clothes on his chest with one hand, trying to absorb more air in front of him. He could feel a hand soothing his back, and he could hear faint sounds in his ears.

But his eyes were blurred, and uncontrollable tears blocked everything. Even his brain was in chaos, unable to think.

Humans are creatures who cannot empathize with themselves. Even if the exact same thing happens to them, the damage will be different for different people.

Hagihara Kenji originally only stood at the door and quietly pushed open a gap, perhaps for self-protection reasons, or for some other reason, he did not step forward. He knew the answer, and he felt sorry for it, but he still couldn't really understand what it meant.

But at this moment, he saw that long time with his own eyes. Four years has never been a cold number in words, it is a daily life spent every day, and it is one-sixth of a person's life.

Except for the one time he saw him punch him at the police academy, Matsuda Jinpei never took the initiative to show his emotions and the collapse that was hidden in his heart.

All that Kenji Hagihara can capture is Matsuda Jinping passively encountering things that will make him ptsd, and then passively showing the traumatic reaction.

The memory of those four years is real, and this memory is reflected in all aspects of Matsuda Jinping.

Matsuda Jinping expressed his nostalgia in every day and every detail of his life. He shared everything with his friends, and the words he wrote in the text messages, which he might not have spoken, fully showed his true side.

That is the ubiquitous yearning, the inescapable four years.

But this is not the reason for Hagihara Kenji's collapse - the four years of text messages broke through Hagihara Kenji's defense little by little, and the last straw that broke him was the text messages that suddenly stopped one day.

[I can avenge you right away. The agreement that day was agreed. 】

contract? What contract? Hagihara Kenji covered his mouth at this moment, and he realized the answer. He even felt a feeling of nausea, and the excessive emotional pressure made his throat seem to be stimulated, and even felt physically uncomfortable and nauseated.

It was in a dream, when he was on the phone, the sentence ["If I really die, will you avenge me?"].

No, that was not a dream. Hagihara Kenji didn't realize this for a moment than this moment.

Xiao Zhenping was very concerned about whether he was wearing an explosion-proof suit, and dared not let him enter the apartment, the habitual black suit, the text messages sent to him from time to time, and the changes in various habits.

A mantra uttered while drunk, speaking like a stolen miracle.

Everything was displayed in front of Hagihara Kenji.

Matsuda Jinping supported Hagihara Kenji's body, and he finally relieved his friend's over-breathing symptoms. He felt the dampness from his shoulders and the uncontrollable trembling of his friend's body at this moment.

Hagihara Kenji held onto the friend in front of him like he was holding on to the last straw.

Matsuda Jinping heard something vaguely, and lowered his head slightly to distinguish the meaning of those syllables, but after getting the answer, Matsuda Jinping was stunned.

Because he heard Kenji Hagihara say to him, "...I'm sorry."

Hagihara Kenji was not surprised or saddened by his death, he should have been prepared for this the moment he became a police officer. But what he couldn't accept was that he left Xiao Zhenping alone, and even made a terrible agreement at that moment.

what has he done...