My 26-year-old Female Tenant

Jian Wei seemed to see this sunny morning as usual. She skillfully dipped a piece of pastry with jam, put it in her mouth, and took a sip of milk. This set of actions was so natural that I can't see her emotions, but I know: this is just a display of self-strengthening in front of me, or she is already numb from the pain.

  After a quarter of an hour passed, she finally wiped her hands with a tissue and said to me, "I'm done eating...you can talk about your business."

I looked at her, but I remembered Xiang Chen's words that classified me as low-level. He has resented me for so many years, and many details can be reflected, but I avoided it and didn't want to think too much. Much, but my backing down did not change his contempt for me in his bones. My background and background really cannot be compared with him, so under such an obvious gap, Jian Wei chose me. This is something he cannot tolerate , So, he showed the distortion of human nature, and did one thing after another that I couldn't do to Jian Wei, including sending an exclusive customized necklace to Fang Yuan and Yan Yan's wedding, based on this, Asked for love from Jian Wei, he got Jian Wei, but also got pain.

Jian Wei is a different kind. Her growth environment made her pursue material things much less than ordinary people, so when she was in college, she wore the best clothes and used the best everything, but she always followed me. Playing in a band, she loves playing drums. Although she has not played well all the time, she also likes to chat with me about those non-mainstream bands and singers who scream for freedom and light in the world, and then put her dreams into me. In my dreams, to pursue those fantasies that are not practical in the world of mortals...

It was not until one day that her family learned of my existence that they told her that there is something in this world called being right, but she was no longer willing to change, and followed me from Shanghai to Suzhou without hesitation, time and time again. She avoids seeing her parents, but family love always has a place in her heart. She is suffering because of this, and wants me to live out hope for her in the material world, but I haven't figured out the relationship between idealism and social reality. The distance, has been indulging in her own world, until she left......

Looking back on the years we have spent, I cultivated her into a bunch of proud sunflowers, but I did not give her nourishment and sunshine, and made her into the withered appearance she is today, but she stretches her branches and is still proud looking for...

  I thought a lot and wasted a lot of time. Jian Wei waited patiently. She didn't give me a look until I looked up at her, asking if I could express my intention for coming today as soon as possible.

My fingers were trembling slightly, I lit a cigarette, tried to be calm, and finally said to her: "I came to you today to tell you that I am going back to Xuzhou... About Luku and Wenyi This is the only way I can do this project.”

Jian Wei raised her head, then closed her eyes, and asked me in a low voice: "Are you giving up so completely?...The project of the road to literature and art embodies our hard work, and it also carries your dreams. Yes, it's still profitable! ... There will never be a second chance like this in your life."

I felt pain in my heart, but when I remembered the simple life that Mi Cai and I had decided to live, I still nodded and said: "Give up completely, leave here completely, please start my resignation procedure, the shares I hold will be exchanged." It's up to you, since this project is still profitable, there are many solutions that can be dealt with, and you won't be too embarrassed."

   "It seems that Mi Cai has given up on Zhuomei, and you have also chosen another way of life. You once mentioned this way of life to me, but I couldn't give it to you. I went to the United States..."

Her words reminded me of a detail. On the eve of her decision to go to the United States, I told her that elopement to the most distant town was just a wish in the lyrics. I hope she can go back to Xuzhou. I want to open a I went to a small bar, and then went to ask my father to arrange a job for Jian Wei in his state-owned enterprise, which can be regarded as a solid job. After hesitating for a long time, she agreed to me, but it didn't take long for her parents to find me in Suzhou. , Let her finally give up the idea of ​​going back to Xuzhou with me.

I still think that she didn't really make up her mind to go back to Xuzhou with me, and even asked for her parents' opinions during the process, otherwise her parents would never have found Suzhou, nor would they have found her, because we have been living together It is very hidden, and Suzhou is very big, so it is not so easy to find.

  Jian Wei said again: "Zhaoyang, do you still feel that I promised you to go back to Xuzhou at the beginning, but I just talked about it, but I hesitated in my heart?"

  I nod: "Yes, but I can understand you... that kind of lifestyle is not for you!"

  Jian Wei looked at me and smiled painfully: "Can you understand me?...I don't need your understanding, because you don't know the truth of the matter at all!"

  My heart is beating violently...waiting for her to continue.

   Jian Wei lowered her head, she was in pain, she was hesitating...

   "What the **** is the truth?"

  Jian Wei finally raised her head to look at me, and said slowly, "Do you know why my parents found Suzhou back then?......Hehe, go ask your good brothers Fang Yuan and Xiang Chen!"

"them?!"

"It was them, it was Xiang Chen who found Fangyuan, and Fangyuan told him where we lived, and even told him about our going to Xuzhou... Then he told my parents all these things, so They found me four years ago on the afternoon of December 11th!"

  My heart beat even harder, as if it was about to burst through my chest... After a long time, I said, "You are still shaken after all, otherwise why would you go to America?"

"Zhaoyang, is there any way for me not to be shaken? ... If I go to Xuzhou with you, not only you and me, but even your father will not be able to keep the so-called iron rice bowl of the state-owned enterprise, and we will never be able to do it." Marriage certificate, my parents can easily do these things, in front of their will, just I love you, what can I resist?"

I was depressed to the point of lack of oxygen... I can already guess the following things, Jian Wei would rather die than follow, his parents had no choice but to use this delaying tactic to send her to the United States first, Trying to break up our love with time and distance, Jian Wei firmly believed that none of us would be shaken, so she chose to go to the United States in order to protect the livelihood and work of my family and me.

  Everything began to become reasonable, otherwise, why would Jian Wei prefer to be self-reliant in the United States, rather than accept her parents' living expenses? She has hatred, but she has to compromise.

"Zhaoyang, my parents once promised me that as long as I can see your progress in the past three years in the United States, I will accept that we will be together when I return to China. If they don't give me this promise, I will do it anyway. I won’t leave, even if I wander all over the country and the world with you, I won’t leave... But..." Jian Wei couldn’t go on, she couldn’t cry anymore, too many things and The grievance is hidden in her heart, and it has become a disease!

   I choked up and asked, "Why didn't you tell me about this when you left?"

"...Your self-esteem at that time... self-esteem, did you hear this?...I can only tell you that going to the United States is for us...we have more Good future!...We all love this way, does it matter whether we say it or not?...At least, I never thought of betraying you!"

   My self-esteem at the time?

  I really remembered my self-esteem back then... Even Jian Wei wearing a luxury brand of clothes would make me feel uncomfortable! ...I hate the obstacles brought about by the wrong family...I am really too afraid of losing Jian Wei, I am so afraid of being vulnerable, so afraid of being sensitive, so I have that humble self-esteem !

I was panting violently, and my heart was already unable to bear the emotional fluctuations. After a long, long time, I finally gathered up the strength and asked Jian Wei: "We all love like that...why, why do you still dare to fight with me?" I said break up?...why?"

Jian Wei was in more pain, as if remembering an unbearable experience, she covered her face with her hands and sobbed, finally raised her head, looked at my body, and asked: "I can tell you, but after I tell you, I want You are with me, as we said before, get married and have children... Do you still dare to ask me to say it?... If not, if your favorite now is Mi Cai .......It doesn't make any sense for me to talk about that period of the past, it will only hurt each other, embarrass each other, and make each other unable to recall the beauty of being together!"

I swallowed painfully. I wanted to get a result for the original breakup countless times, but every time under the pressure of Jian Wei, I gave up the idea of ​​wanting it, because what she said was the truth. Decided to pursue the ordinary and simple life with Mi Cai, why go against the original intention and entangle the past and the future? And I simply don't have the ability to unravel the karma between the past and the future!

Jian Wei looked at me and smiled, she seemed to be no longer in pain, and said to me who was speechless: "Zhaoyang, I, Jian Wei, am a man of my word, I said I would not disturb your feelings again, so I will definitely do it , you don’t need to think about what happened in the past anymore, from now on, you look up and look forward... I don’t hate you, and I don’t want to hate myself anymore, because I’m really tired. .....I have already accepted the fact that our fate is not enough, so when I went to the United States, because of the distance and time, we kept misunderstanding and missed each other... You and Mi Cai are different, she can also make you love to death, someone wants to separate you, but you can't separate... Then please cherish this fate... But, you Be sure to remember...I will always be the woman who loves you the most in this world...just, in the wrong way, at the wrong time!...Let's go! Go clean, and I will take care of the rest."

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