My 26-year-old Female Tenant

Jian Wei looked at me, waiting for me to tell about the agreement with Robben, but I didn't know where to start, because it was taboo to talk about things that shouldn't be said, and Jian Wei urged me to ask Said: "What is the agreement between you?"

I finally said to her: "...Me and Robben met shortly after you went to America, you know, I didn't have a serious job at that time, I was always running in bars Changzi, and later met Robben, and we started creating together... That should be the most difficult time in my life in terms of material. I like music, but music can't give me what I need urgently , It’s the same for Robben, the money the two of us earned at that time was not even enough to rent a recording studio and buy midi equipment after the living expenses... At that time, it was too desperate, really desperate!"

   "What do you need urgently at that time?"

  I was silent for a long time, instead of looking at Jian Wei's face, I replied, "A platform where I can prove myself."

  Jian Wei was silent for a longer time than I did, and asked again: "Is that platform needed... for our love?"

"It's not important at all..." After a pause, I continued: "After I finished the "Ferocious Reptiles", I left Robben and went to Polaroid to work... ..Actually, that album is at best the level of underground rock, but it is the most memorable one for me and Robben, because it is an indelible symbol in our lives, recording the shame and unwillingness that life bestows on us and suffocation, so we agreed that whoever succeeds in his own field first must perform our favorite song "Fierce Reptiles" and then smash the guitar to pieces, and forget the days full of dryness and grayness in the catharsis ..."

I swallowed painfully as I spoke, and then fell into silence. Just as Jian Wei was about to speak, I said again: "It's really **** hopeless!  …The two of them hugged the guitar all day long in the underground passage Singing numbly, I didn't even dare to think of the word "future" in my head, even if I think of those years now, it's all about the taste of instant noodles and the dry and dull tunes played by various instruments. A gust of wind could blow us to death...I...fuck!..."

My emotions fell into those days again. Seeing myself riddled with holes, I think Robben on the stage has the same emotions as me now, that's why he roared and smashed the guitar. People who have never experienced emotions will not understand... Fortunately, Robben is successful now. He has become a rock star with great market appeal with his music dream, but I am in The Polaroid Department Store has been tossed and tossed, people are almost decaying, so the person who smashed the guitar today is Robben, not me, Zhaoyang!

The wind became more and more violent, and the sound of dead leaves piled up and running towards the distance sounded all around, making the two of us scattered here extremely quiet. I closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists to hold them together. Forehead, don’t let myself cry, it’s been so long, I shouldn’t cry for those years, at least I gritted my teeth and survived, and I didn’t use tears to pity myself, I don’t need tears in my life, but I The beloved dream is really gone...

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you and went to the United States alone... I know, you have worked hard for our once love, and even gave up your dream!" Jian Wei looked forward, did not cry, but there were no signs of tears It turned out that tears don't mean crying, except for the tears she fell, she looked so calm.

   "Don't say these things, one day, everything will turn into smoke...so the pain you have endured is all false deception!"

   "Do these false deceptions include love?"

   "Including love, they are all so hypocritical, just like the moon, there is one hanging in the sky, and another lying in the lake, who knows which one is real!"

  ...

Back at the hotel, I lay on the white bed and watched Robben’s concert tonight again. Then, my whole body became dizzy and drifted away. How I longed for someone to lie in my arms at this time. To make up for the emptiness of lost dreams in my heart, but the person I love may be more difficult than me at the moment. I realized: Our ups and downs do not come from love itself, but the obstacles given by life... She would rather not love To be fulfilled, but also to keep Zhuomei's splendor.......It's nothing, I have accepted it a long time ago! It's just that sometimes I still imagine each other leading two unburdened bodies to live some ordinary days. In my opinion, some pursuits are really tiring and frightening!

Finally, the long-awaited phone rang again, and I hurriedly picked it up and looked at it. It was really Mi Cai calling this time. I took a heavy breath before answering the phone, and said first: " Receiving your call before going to bed is the happiest thing today!"

  She on the other end of the phone was silent for a while before asking: "Why haven't you slept yet?"

   "I'm watching Robben's concert today, do you want to watch it? If so, I will forward a copy of the video to you."

   "Well, is his performance going well today?"

   "You will know after watching the video..." I spoke very slowly, because I was thinking about whether to tell her about the crisis Zhuomei was encountering in its listing.

   Mi Cai couldn't answer and fell into silence. This silence made me feel her bad mood now. This predicament has hit her too hard. After all, it is related to Zhuomei's success or failure in listing.

After some weighing, I finally said to her: "I had dinner with Mr. An of Tianyang Group tonight, and she told me something. What to do? You tell me, I will do it even if I try my best."

Mi Cai's voice suddenly choked up: "...I don't even know what to do myself, so how can I tell you what to do?...Be yourself I don't want you to be distracted, the current situation really cannot be reversed by someone..."

"If you feel tired and helpless, just cry, don't let those emotions that can't be vented, hurt yourself, at least I will always be by your side and accompany you, no matter what you will become in the future. "

   After a moment of silence, Mi Cai really cried out. She was sobbing, and I gasped. The gasping was because I really felt the pain and unwillingness in her heart, she was really too hard! ......I told myself over and over again, there must be a way to turn the situation around, there must be a way, it is man-made, as long as I am willing to think and do it......

  ................................

The expressions in the book are related to people’s emotions. When I wrote the first book, it was the most positive stage of my life, so I was generally positive. I can’t remember the state of the second book. I always like to look back at my previous experience in this book I have, so I like to write some memories, such as today’s chapter, what Zhaoyang has experienced, has experienced it before, but in different ways, he is making music and I am doing other things, but the emotions are the same. . . I am indeed a person with a lot of negative energy, and I am not willing to change my state, so if I was awesome before, I am still awesome now, and I was stupid before, and I am still stupid now. The most disgusting thing is some people with a shameless face pretending to be public, pretending to be forced