My 26-year-old Female Tenant

The street lights came on again, and the light swayed on our dining table through the window. I drank another bottle of beer, and then became dizzy. In the dizziness, I seemed to look back at the past. In those fragments of the past, I once What did you do for love.

  After breaking up with Jian Wei, I began to live a decadent and indulgent life, which allowed others to take advantage of it. I took so many photos that Jian Wei, who was planning to rush back from the United States, tore up her ticket in despair.

  After breaking up with Mi Cai, I always acted aggressively, and never thought of redeeming anything, but maybe, in the dead of night, they all thought of me, but all I responded was hurt.

  My cold violence, how did it form, and what is lurking in my heart, constantly making troubles... It makes me so ignorant of women.

  Maybe it was the word "breakup" that crushed me, maybe I looked at the matter of breaking up with too much despair, and then rejected all possibilities, and then killed all leeway......

Fang Yuan continued to teach by precept and example: "Zhaoyang, when a man and a woman are together, it is inevitable that there will be bumps and bumps. Yan Yan and I have also broken up before, but we have come down because we are willing to calm ourselves down and give each other a chance. , also give love a chance, you have also seen that in today's society, there are many people who remarry after divorce, why should you close yourself and treat breaking up as a very desperate thing like an enemy. ...Maybe when you are desperate, the woman is waiting for you to keep her, making her feel that you can't do without her, "

My stubborn heart showed faint signs of loosening. I lit a cigarette for myself again, and felt in my breath that those heart-wrenching nights were probably just imagined by me with a strong subjective consciousness. , At this time, I am even more painful.

  ...

After leaving the small restaurant, I took half a bottle of unfinished beer and came to an overpass embedded in the city, watching the cars passing by in a blur, so the soul in my body, Being pierced by these flickering lights, the gust of lively wind and the coolness of autumn whistling through those piercings, I gradually felt a little empty, so empty that I couldn’t remember what I had done, and looking forward to something.

I was drunk and passed out on this bridge that was about to be abandoned, so taking advantage of my drunkenness, I took out my mobile phone from my pocket, found Mi Cai's number, hid in the softness of the city, and texted her I sent a message with only a comma, and I want to tell her that I don't want to put a period between us.

  I waited, but maybe she couldn't understand, maybe she had already put an end between us, maybe I should be more active, but I can't do anything this night, I'm drunk.

Finally, a well-meaning passer-by walked onto the abandoned overpass. He woke me up and asked me where I lived. I told him the address of the old house, so he helped me down the overpass and took me sent to a taxi.

After arriving at the destination, the driver helped me to the entrance of the corridor. I gave him 100 yuan, pressed my painful head, and told him not to look for it. The driver said "thank you" to me and left. The world in this area has become quiet again, or it is this community that is quiet. It seems that many residents have moved out of this community during this time, because it is so old that it almost loses the atmosphere of the city.

Using both hands and feet, I climbed up the stairs. When I reached the top floor, I panted and leaned against the door, took out a cigarette and lit it. I knew that Mi Cai would never come this night, but I still wanted to see it. , and think about the scene of our first acquaintance here, maybe we will figure out why we are the way we are, and what destroyed everything we have run.

My head is getting heavier and heavier, but my consciousness is getting clearer and clearer. I think of the life I dreamed of in the whistling youth, including love. I think of the song in the melody played by the guitar. , the imaginary river of happiness...

But all of this has drifted away from me, so I shed tears of repentance in the remaining youth, but I can't keep the years of running forward as before... In the hallucinations stimulated by alcohol, I held my head and sobbed in pain.

The door of the house was opened from the inside, and I fell to the ground without any support, and then I saw the rice color that I had verbally attacked during the day. nothing......

"you've been drinking,"

  I responded with a whimper of pain.

   "How much to drink,"

  I finally sat up from the ground, wiped off the sticky tears on my face, and said to her with the greatest courage in my life: "...Don't marry him, okay,"

   She looked at me without much emotion and asked, "Why, can you give me a reason,"

   "Because I think you haven't forgotten me...."

   "That was before today,"

   "The reason why I said this to you today is because I don't want you to walk on a... a wrong road, the more wrong the more outrageous,"

After a very long period of silence, Mi Cai finally opened her mouth: "But what I want to hear is not what you said to me...you go, I'm going too, everyone in this house Things, there will be a housekeeping company to move them tomorrow.”

"Where are you going,"

  Mi Cai didn't give an answer, but just said: "Don't ask, you can go,"

   "Tell me, where can I go, I'm so drunk,..."

   "Whatever you want, anyway, you are used to wandering in this city,"

Her words reminded me of those days when I had nowhere to go. I wandered alone in the city in the middle of the night, so lonely and helpless. The loneliness in these memories made me helpless again. Some stared blankly at her.

She stretched out her hand, gesturing to pull me up from the ground, I held her hand, and felt the softness again, my heart seemed to be melted, and an idea came out of my mind came out and asked her, "Is that guitar still there?"

  My question surprised her, and she answered after a long time: "In my car,"

   "Is it okay to lend it to me... I will give you something in return after I use it up,"

  She smiled and asked, "Is this a deal?"

   "It doesn't count, I owe you all the time, give me a chance, okay?"

   "Zhaoyang, I really don't need you to give me anything..."

   Before she finished speaking, I took her hand that hadn't let go, turned on the sensor light in the corridor, and walked downstairs in a daze...