My 26-year-old Female Tenant

Chapter 181: : the heart is cold

  The anklet with Jian Wei's body temperature quickly lost its temperature in my hands. I felt as if I had given her an empty joy. According to the original script, this New Year's Eve should not be spent like this.

  I put the anklet back in my pocket, turned around, Mi Cai was still standing where she was, her hair was fluttering in the cold wind, she looked so thin in this extremely cold night.

  I walked towards her with heavy steps, but I didn't think she would mind the scene just now, because we hadn't started from the beginning to the end, so there would be no burdens that only exist between lovers.

  I came to Mi Cai, smiled at her, and then said, "The wind is so cold, why are you standing outside?"

   "No matter how cold the wind blowing from the sky is, it only cools the body, while the wind blowing from people cools the heart..."

  I was still immersed in the trance just now, and it took me a while to ask Mi Cai: "How should I understand this?"

   "Whatever you want to understand, but it's time for us to go in. Many customers are still waiting to have a few drinks with you, the bar owner? I came out to call you for them."

"Oh."

  I responded, and Mi Cai had already bowed her head and walked towards the bar.

I looked at her back, and then looked at the sky, the uninterrupted fireworks bursting in the air blocked my sight, so my eyes stayed in the flickering splendor, I was a little dizzy, and felt dizzy. To the bone-chilling wind.

I tucked my clothes and lit a cigarette for myself. Maybe I can’t wait for the spring wind to blow this night. My heart seems to be trapped in this cold winter by an inexplicable force, and time brings Don't leave me, walk into that spring, even though spring is close at hand.

  …

  I was so drunk that night that I didn't even know how I got back to my residence until I woke up the next morning amidst the crackling of firecrackers.

  I sat on the bed for a long time, and then I remembered that I should go back to Xuzhou today, and go back to pay New Year's greetings to my father and mother. I think they are waiting for me and Mi Cai at this moment.

  I immediately put on my clothes and got up. Instead of going to the bathroom to wash up, I knocked on Mi Cai's door and said, "Happy New Year...Happy New Year, have you woken up yet?"

  No one responded for a long time, I just turned the handle of the door, only to find that it was locked. Immediately, a bad premonition rose in my heart, and I hurriedly rummaged through the box to find the key to the door, but I was stunned after opening it.

  There is no sign of Mi Cai in the room, but the quilts are stacked neatly. That is to say, Mi Cai is not in this room at the moment, or she may have left after sending me back last night.

  At this time, I finally understood the meaning of the sentence "No matter how cold the wind blowing from the sky is, it only cools the body, while the wind blowing from people cools the heart..." What does it mean?

  I also understand that the entanglement between Jian Wei and I hurt her sensitivity, so she chose to avoid me on the first day of the new year.

   But where did she hide?

  He returned to his room with some frustration, and wanted to make a call to Mi Cai, but unexpectedly found a note under the mobile phone on the cabinet.

  I immediately pulled out the note, and as expected, it was indeed left for me by Mi Cai.

   "Zhaoyang, I went to my uncle's house to celebrate the new year... I wish you a happy new year, and take me to say happy new year to your parents."

  Looking at the smiley face attached to the text, I only felt that my heart was pierced in an instant, and then the belated pain couldn't stop me from being overwhelmed.

I understand: her arrogance prevents her eyes from being able to tolerate a grain of sand, and her lack of security makes her sensitive and suspicious, so she, like me, has always used a self-made wall to isolate herself from love, She longed to be close to me, but was afraid of being close to an impure me.

  So my worries and low self-esteem all the time are not groundless...All my pain comes from the fact that I like her, but I am not the man she needs most in her heart.

  I folded this note and put it in the cabinet, lit a cigarette for myself early in the morning, and then half-lyed on the bed to smoke, but I didn’t want to explain anything to Mi Cai, because she didn’t question me.

  Furthermore, what's the point of a love if it depends on endless explanations?

  At this moment, I suddenly didn't want to have any expectations for Mi Cai anymore, and I would rather maintain a tacit understanding with her and forget the previous ambiguity, and just be an ordinary friend.

  After making this decision, I seemed to have lost a heavy burden. I immediately extinguished the cigarette in my hand, then opened WeChat and sent her a message: "I wish you a happy new year too...I will contact you when I return to Suzhou!"

  After sending the message, I put the phone in my pocket, then simply packed up a piece of luggage, and drove the Alto back to Xuzhou.

   On the long road, I felt somewhat lonely, and I was more or less regretful in my heart, but I was also glad that the incident of Jian Wei last night sounded the alarm for me, and made me see myself more clearly.

  Why should I tarnish the purity of Mi Cai with a messy past and a body that has had affairs with many women?

  If I have that crystal clear city in my heart, then Mi Cai must have it too, but I am not qualified to be the man in her city.

  If I really like her, I should silently guard her side with self-knowledge until she meets the man who should be with her for the rest of her life.

  …

It wasn’t until 2 o’clock in the afternoon that I returned to Xuzhou, the city I hadn’t seen for a long time. When I stood at the door of my house, I was too embarrassed to ring the doorbell. After all, I had told my father before that I would bring Mi Cai back, but now I have broken my promise to him. Yes, he must be disappointed.

After standing for a full minute, I rang the doorbell, and it was my mother who opened the door for me. She looked left and right, and asked, "Zhaoyang, didn't your dad say that you want to bring a reliable girl home for me?" Did I take a look, where are people?"

  I laughed and hugged her, and said, "Mom, Happy New Year!...I miss you so much!"

  My mother pushed me away, but she didn't fight me after all, and said helplessly, "You...have been to Suzhou for so long, and I haven't seen you become more reliable!"

   "Yeah, so I can't always find a reliable girl."

  My mother sighed: "Oh... There is nothing I can do about you. Go into the room and I'll heat you up."

Walking into the room, Dad sat on the sofa and looked back at the "Spring Festival Gala" last night. Seeing that I was back, he subconsciously looked behind me, then put down the remote control and asked, "Where's Xiaomi? No? Did you say you came back together?"

  I still laughed, and said: "Yes, but she went to her uncle's house to celebrate the New Year temporarily... Uh... It's pretty good, after all, her family is with her, it's much better than coming to Xuzhou to celebrate the New Year!"

My intentional explanation made my father frown. He, who is always dull, now looks more disappointed than when my mother heard the news. This made me realize: Ever since I had a relationship with Li Xiaoyun, the old man My mother is not interested in other girls, but my father always approves of Mi Cai. Maybe there is a difference between the two of them on this point, but this difference makes me more stressed, because at this moment it seems , neither Li Xiaoyun nor Mi Cai are likely to be with me.

   Besides feelings, the most urgent thing I should think about is how to redeem that guitar and return it to Jian Wei.

  ——

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