Kuai Chuan Teaches You To Be a Man

Thanks to the small video shared by the Yunnan snub-nosed monkey reserve, the audience gritted their teeth and survived the food shortage period after crossing the rain forest. After the feeling of scratching their hearts subsided, a group of people jokingly cast a vote, betting on when the pineapple platform will be released. The second issue of Yu Xia's debut is the African grassland chapter.

There are seven, eight, nine, and ten guesses, and there are also those who have been waiting to die and have no hope to guess the last issue.

[It's good at the end, good start, good end. 】

[Tiger head and tiger tail with a pig kidney? 】

【puff……】

It’s true to think about it. The survival variety show Pineapple Terrace was a hit at the beginning, breaking a series of records in the history of variety shows. In just a few days, it became popular all over the country and caused quite a stir abroad. The period is blurred. If the TV station really dared to pick up ten episodes of garbage after crossing the rainforest, and finally ended with the grassland chapter, it would be very courageous.

While the audience reminisced about the rainforest part, they waited for the results.

Issue 7, no.

Issue eight, no.

Issue 9, no.

...

[Guess that they will put them on the last episode of embarrassingly good ending friends, I'm afraid you are right! 】

[I always thought that my **** face was thick enough, and compared with Pineapple Taiwan, I was losing. I just wanted to ask if they were really afraid of being beaten to death? Who the **** gave him the courage to do this arrangement? 】

【You, you gave it! Even if you scolded from the second issue to the twelfth issue, you have to watch it. Those who threaten others are just listening to you. When you look back, you only need to inform that a young lady will appear in this issue. Never been afraid. 】

Thinking about it carefully, it's really **** like this, it's very angry.

There is an idiom called extreme things turn out to be counterproductive. After the eleventh issue, there is no Yu Xia. After the audience finished scolding Pineapple Station, they bought a snack pack in a refreshing mood. They planned to make some delicious food next week and watch them while they were eating. After being pigeoned for ten full episodes, the audience and friends were having fun. They confidently said that the next episode would definitely not be able to run. Turtle Son really designed a reunion script, a good start, a good end, and the middle. Two and a half months of water injection, the water lasts the entire summer...

Even if she is extremely dissatisfied with the stage, the young lady still wants to hold the show. After the eleventh episode, the audience master has already made an appointment and said to buy food and watch it together. The foreign students who were in Huaguo also spread the good news to friends from all walks of life, saying that there is good news, and next week, they will see the young lady go to the African savannah to ride an elephant and a lion.

Because of this news, people are cheering all over the place. Many people canceled their original plans to watch the live broadcast. Friends who prefer excitement and thrills also say that the Yunnan golden monkey is also cute. I have watched the military training video over and over many times. It's quite wonderful... wonderful is wonderful, in their eyes, it looks like a chili lover's mouth lacks a little bit of spiciness. The African grassland is more exciting than the monkey reserve. Think about the cheetahs, hyenas, lions, and rhinos on the grasslands. There are not too many things to watch.

[@Pineapple Channel put at least three episodes in the last issue, on behalf of myself, I will forgive your shameless behavior of crazy water injection. 】

【not enough! Three episodes are not enough! There are so many plushies in the African grasslands, one episode for each, ten episodes and twenty episodes in total! Anyway, the essence part has to exceed the amount of water injection, right? 】

[If I remember correctly, Miss and Sister have only been in Africa for less than ten days? I heard from other guests that there was a lot of trouble at the time. Many people in the team were not used to the food and climate there, and they were queuing up to get sick. Under such circumstances, what else do you expect? 】

[It’s okay to ask Pineapple Station to release the unedited ones, I’m willing to watch! You can learn from the monkey sanctuary and make a prairie diary...]

【I'm afraid you haven't woken up yet. 】

Pineapple Taiwan did not let the last issue end hastily. This issue is also divided into three episodes. Each episode is very important. Basically, everything the audience wants to see is given to the camera, and the representative animals on the African grasslands line up to appear. For example, the Big Five in Africa, giraffes, zebras, antelopes, rock pythons, jumping rabbits, and honey badgers, who are born to be bear children and do nothing if they are not convinced.

The honey badger is definitely the MVP of the first episode. This animal is generally less than one meter long, and its shoulders are less than forty centimeters off the ground when it stands up. A little bit, but they are bears and fierce, often misassessing their own strength, and they dare to rush head-on when they see a lion of several hundred pounds.

Looking at its small body, you don't bother to beat it, you want to scare it off with a low growl, but it turns out that it is bigger than you, and it jumps up and yells at you with a murderous face...

Yu Xia was suddenly "attacked" by a honey badger while playing with the lions. She lay on the head of the lion and watched a few honey badgers chasing another lion next to her. The scene almost made people laugh and cry. Come.

The lion was frightened, and came back to his senses: You dare to murder me with this small body! I'm going to you!

Thinking that the little fairy was still beside him, he panicked in his heart, but he couldn't see anything on his face. The lion with a fierce face turned his head and slapped the honey badger. The honey badger's skin could withstand being slashed several times. It was extremely hard. One paw back.

There were also a lot of people in the film crew who didn't know much about animals. They were stunned when they saw this scene. Then they saw the unfortunate lion nibbled at the honey badger for a while, but it didn't break the skin after several bites, which was a bit embarrassing...

Yu Xia took a deep breath after laughing enough, and settled the dispute for the two sides who were about to break out. The bear boy glared at her and turned his back angrily. Yu Xia reached out and poked it, poked it again, and poked it several times. Only when he turned around, he rubbed Yu Xia's palm with the round head that looked like a little seal, saying that it's okay, not to care about the big fool.

The honey badger, who weighed less than 30 kilograms, forgave the African lion, who weighed at least 300 to 400 kilograms. Even if he had laughed once, Yu Xia couldn't hold back, and burst into laughter again.

Although this honey badger looked disdainful, he liked the little sister very much in his heart, and even took some of his brothers to fetch honey to give to the little sister.

The experts in the little black house explained that the honey badger is aggressive, brave and fierce by nature. Despite its small size, it is actually the number one bear child on the African grasslands. How can they lose, even cheetahs like to disguise their cubs as honey badgers to scare away all parties...

The most annoying thing is that the bear children have their own poison-proof buff. They are omnivorous and eat everything. When they can't get honey and can't find fruit, they can eat a poisonous snake to satisfy their hunger. The program team was very lucky. When the cameraman followed from several angles, he unfortunately stepped on the tail of the snake in the grass and was about to be bitten. Just after giving the honey to the little sister, he was hungry and hungry. Seeing that the poisonous snake's eyes were full of stars and saliva was about to drip, I pressed it and bit it.

When he found out that he stepped on the poisonous snake, the cameraman was startled and shouted, "Snake!" Snake, snake!

They all thought he was bitten, and the medical staff were about to start first aid, and they wanted him to stay still, not to speed up the blood flow... Then they found that the bear child was dragging the poisonous snake, biting and tearing, eating with relish, and disgusting it while eating. His eyes looked at the cameraman who was so scared that he almost wet his pants.

After eating the whole piece, the bear boy fell on the grassland with a thud, and some guests took a closer look, shed tears of sadness for it, and warned the audience in front of the screen not to eat anything indiscriminately, and asked if there was any help? How venomous is this snake?

The director did his homework before he came and told him not to worry, the honey badger has eaten more cobras than you have eaten chicken legs and wings, and it will be fine after sleeping and waking up.

Sure enough, after sleeping for more than two hours, Honey Badger shook his head and sat up.

Ouch, I was so full, I almost starved to death.

It was promised that the lions played at home, and the honey badger robbed the best of the game, and the cameraman, after being rescued, wished to give the bear child as an ancestor, and even donated the fruit he brought to give it a taste... ... He was so dog-legged and failed to please the bear boy. The bear boy jumped up and gave him a fierce face, and then dragged his long tail to look for the young lady to show her cuteness.

It's not just lions. In the next few days, the bear child was fiercer than all the fluffy ones who tried to get close to the young lady. One of the guests looked complicated. I just thought that this scene was really like a dead child in kindergarten stopping a 20-something boy and saying to hand over the money, otherwise Dad will beat you up.

The audience laughed so hard that his stomach hurt. After this episode was broadcast, the bear child emojis were released in large quantities, including honey badgers provoking African lions, and the most classic raw gnawing poisonous snake...

[I'm so hungry, wait for me to eat a cobra! What the **** is this amazing animal? After reading this issue, I can no longer look directly at the lion, cheetah and various poisonous snakes...]

[Husky: It's a loser! 】

[When I watched this episode, I thought of the bear children at home countless times, and my mood was complicated. 】

[I have the urge to keep one, can this be kept as a pet? How much is one? 】

【Wake up upstairs! Get rid of this horrible thought! ! ! 】

[I am afraid that I will be able to see your crying posts on the forum after a while. I have always thought that dogs like huskies are bearable enough. After watching this issue, I feel that I have been wronged. I searched the encyclopedia and told me that it takes two hours for a lion 1V1 to kill a honey badger, three hours for a cheetah, and three hours for me, and I can get a lot of shit...]

[Brother, you are a bit fast. 】

It must be affirmed that the African prairie chapter is really exciting. The audience is fully engaged when watching it.

The young lady is still strong, and there is no animal that she can't take down.

The audience cried while watching, and said that there will be another polar chapter, and let the young lady go to the penguin. Some people say that they are not too obsessed with penguins, and want to see the young lady conquer the sea and dance with sharks.

[Forgot that this is the last issue? There are no penguins and no sharks. In the future, I can only see the little video of the young lady playing monkeys. 】

[Monkey baby: look down on your father? ? ? 】

[Replay for the third time, my mother is so happy, why are you saying these spoilers? I'm so bored! 】

[Then say something happy, you go to the news website to see the entertainment page, the pineapple channel is blowing up, saying that the first domestic survival variety show ended perfectly, and the various records they have set since their inception, the first episode. As far as rave reviews, how many times I have been on Weibo, how much is the topic, and the just-concluded last episode has also received high praise from the audience, how many online broadcasts, how many domestic and overseas, this variety show has come out The country is over, and hundreds of millions of viewers are calling on them to plan a second season...]

[Come, come, the draft has indeed come. 】

[It’s true that there will be a second season, and it’s also true that the second season will cut off those waste guests and keep one of the young ladies. 】

[The first and last episodes are really exciting. As for the ten episodes in the middle, there is no problem in directly cutting them off. 】

Some netizens said that they have never seen a variety show with an unfinished ending so fast, and the psychological quality of Pineapple Channel is really good. Another netizen corrected and said that this is not a bad end, this is the middle of the water! The whole show is about the same as the beginning and the end. The middle is a waste of everyone's time, not only a waste of time, but also a waste of takeaway money. Thinking about the second issue, because I heard that it was survival on an island, I felt that I could see the seafood special. Many viewers ordered a seafood dinner and wanted to eat with Yu Xia... The result? I only saw a group of idiots discussing how to obtain fresh water, and it took ten to twenty minutes just to get water.

Even if the evaluation of the middle ten episodes is very low, the second episode is also the lowest. It's okay not to look at the lineup, because the audience's expectations were too high, and the actual collapse was too severe. Those guests looked back for a while. When I mentioned them, I couldn't help but think of the mentally retarded performance of these people. The audience's original words were that when I read it, I wanted to slap these idiots on the wall so that they couldn't buckle.

Qiao Yue watched the entire grassland chapter with Yu Xia. He didn't follow him at the time, and he was a little curious. He wanted to know how many rivals his wife had developed for him in Africa... After reading the third issue, I wish I hadn't watched it.

"Forget the domestic ones, Xia Xia, you should be careful when you encounter wild animals. Many of them carry various viruses, such as honey badgers. If you see them, don't get close. If you scratch them, you will most likely get rabies."

Qiao Yue's expression was sincere, completely for your own good. If Yu Xia knew that the pet baby wouldn't scratch her, she would almost believe that her boyfriend had no selfishness.

Yu Xia sat cross-legged on the sofa, she tilted her head and stared at Qiao Yue for a long time, her cheeks were slightly red and her eyes were erratic. Yu Xia hugged his neck and laughed for a while, and said, "I have been vaccinated and they won't scratch me, but it's you, Ayue... Be careful, babies like monkeys in our reserve love them very much. Eat your vinegar, they'll be jealous of you."

Yu Xia was very close, and when he spoke, his breath rubbed against Qiao Yue's cheeks. He felt the itch in his heart and said, "You will make me a rival in love."

Seeing him like this, Yu Xia held his cheek and kissed him twice. Feeling that it was not enough, she sat over and exchanged a deep kiss. Her face was flushed, but her eyes were bright. She smiled at Qiao Yue and said, "Ayue, you are making trouble. His temper is very cute, just like seeing you jealous."

"..." It's really bad fun.

This summer, Yu Xia is the hottest woman in the world. She is synonymous with nature and wildness, and a natural darling. Many programs wanted to invite her, many media wanted to interview him, many directors wanted her to join their team with contracts and checkbooks, and many girls or young women's dream lovers regarded her as a blueprint for their future wives.

So many people were crying and begging for her to show up. Crazy fans said that as long as there was Yu Xia's show, they would be willing to buy it, and Miss Sister's face could be licked all day long.

She tried her best, but no one was able to impress her. After the fall, the reserve was busy with a few paragraphs, and after a few days of leisure, Yu Xia went back to accompany her parents and went to Beijing with Qiao Yue.

Old man Qiao liked her very much. In his dreams, he hoped that the sooner Qiao would marry him, and he led Yu Xia to meet his old friends. He attracted a large number of rivals to his grandson. The grandsons of the other families screamed when they saw Yu Xia, saying that I have seen you my wife! Wife, you look better than the video! ...

Yu Xia was very embarrassed, she greeted each person one by one, just by name.

The old man nodded his head beside him: "Why are young people so casual now? You can call someone a wife when you first meet. Xiaoxia is my granddaughter-in-law and Xiaoyue's object! If you shout again and throw you into the army, it will be a good practice. practice!"

Qiao Yue had other things at hand. He was not at the grandfather's bragging conference. Later, he heard that his grandfather went out to make eight or ten rivals for him, and the death watch came as soon as he said it. The old man immediately rushed to Yu Xia for help, Yu Xia blinked back at him, and dragged Qiao Yue into the house. The two of them stayed in the room for more than an hour. When they came out, Yu Xia's cheeks were a little red, and Qiao Yue was no longer angry. He told the old man that he was going to go back to the reserve in two days. .

After another period of time, Yu Xia received a call from Tang Yuan, saying that the group had discussed coming out to get together a year ago. It had been more than two years since graduation, and they all wanted to see how the old classmates had changed. On the other end of the phone, Tang Yuan said that all the classmates in the class wanted to see Yu Xia, and that she knew that she and Yu Xia had a strong relationship, so she talked to her several times and asked her to persuade her.

Yu Xia asked about the approximate time, and he agreed.

They agreed to meet at their alma mater, take a photo together, and then find a place to eat, drink, and play. Yu Xia asked Tang Yuan if she would allow her to bring her family, but she replied that of course she could, and Tang Yuan teased her, "Finally willing to bring your boyfriend out to show us?"

"You haven't always been curious and satisfied you."

When she was in school, Yu Xia was good-looking and good-looking. She was very low-key, and she had a spring breeze and drizzle personality, and she had a weak sense of presence in the class. This time the class reunion is different. Everyone is looking forward to seeing her the most. They want to see how different the big stars are from before. They want to know what kind of life she lives now. lock up? The invitation from Hollywood is also willing to refuse...

Too many questions.

The old classmates never imagined that such a globally popular woman could appear in their class. Even after a few months, it still feels like a dream when they think about it.

Everyone who came to participate in the class reunion this time was well-dressed. The female classmates did not want to lose too badly. The male classmates all wanted to make a good impression. Compared with them, Yu Xia was the most comfortable one. She wore a high ponytail and put on fresh daily makeup out of courtesy. Qiao Yue waited and waited beside her. When her hands were itchy, she made the ponytail into a fish bone, which was loose and strangely beautiful.

Yu Xia glanced at him in the mirror, then pulled up his braid and looked at it: "When did you learn it? You are so skillful."

Qiao Yue was a little proud. They lived together in the monkey sanctuary. They watched his wife comb her hair every day.

It's been more than two years since graduation, and seeing Yu Xia's old classmates can't help but feel discouraged.

Tang Yuan came earlier. She was surrounded by a few classmates when she noticed that the surroundings were suddenly quiet. She followed everyone's line of sight and laughed. Tang Yuan walked quickly to Yu Xia's side, hugged her twice, then looked at Qiao Yue and asked Yu Xia, "Sister, won't you introduce me?"

"This is Qiao Yue, my boyfriend."

Then he said to Qiao Yue, "This is a dumpling, my sister."

...

This day's class reunion can be said to be a large-scale apology and tout scene. Many classmates expressed their apologies to Yu Xia, saying that everyone had just entered the society after graduation, and they did not have enough money. In addition, they had already participated in work and had no face to ask their family for money. , was a little bit inefficient, and when she heard something happened to her family, she verbally comforted her, but she didn't take the initiative to help. Later, she felt sorry for it.

These words were half-truths, since people said so, there was no need to delve into or dismantle them, Yu Xia nodded and explained, and said that it was not as difficult as everyone thought, and that the treatment did not completely empty the family, but for a while, he could not make ends meet. This state is very worrying.

Some people sighed that they didn't expect Qiu Xunjie and Lian Meng to be so superb.

"I heard that Qiu Xunjie could miss your 30 million lottery prize, and I was scared to death. His mental quality is good enough, and his brain turns really fast. And Lian Xun, who had been with Qiu Xunjie for two years before, had an accident. After that, we broke up immediately, and I heard that I recently found another sponsor, and I used to post Christmas gifts on Weibo, tens of thousands of famous bags..."

"Through the screen, the ghost knows if it's the real thing. She posted those just for us to see, to let us know that even if one Qiu Xunjie fell, she still has thousands of spare tires. As for the actual situation, who knows? Qiu? It's not that she admitted a lot of sins and went in to serve her sentence. Mama Qiu was greatly stimulated, saying that she had fought with Lianmao to the death and asked her to spit out the money she lost in the past two years, blaming her for being a vixen and a broom star."

Yu Xia was bored, so he leaned on Qiao Yue to let him feed himself the fruit. All the classmates in the class have left the society, and her eyes are much better than when she was in school. Seeing that she lacks interest, she will stop talking about scumbags and scumbags, and instead ask her what plans are in the future? Are you really not going to be on TV again? No Hollywood blockbusters? What a pity!

Others took a few glances at Qiao Yue, and saw that he ignored no one, and sat there indifferently, except that when they looked like Yu Xia, they would bring a little gentleness.

He murmured, "No wonder Qiu Xunjie was such a scumbag earlier, because you have used all the character you have saved on this one."

This is what Gao Fushuai is talking about. This cold and abstinence temperament looks particularly attractive, and many details show that he is rich. No matter how you look at it, the level is much higher than Qiu Xunjie.

Yu Xia accepted all the compliments from the old classmate, picked up a few questions, and glanced at Qiao Yue narrowly where others didn't notice.