Pokémon the Second Reality

1.21, Saturday, this is the last weekend in SH before the Spring Festival. I want to talk to my readers, about this work, and about me.

The bed in my room is next to a large one-meter-square window, and I can feel the dazzling sunlight without raising my head. The air conditioner is also working, and this is a rare comfortable and warm weekend. I like to write after taking a bath. It must be a hot bath. I can feel the hot water flowing through every inch of my body. The warmth is refreshing.

Maybe I have been alone for a long time in this noisy city. I am an emotional person, maybe this is the standard personality of Pisces. To be honest, I haven’t written anything today yet. I want to apologize to everyone because I stayed up late last night and read a novel for a long time. I have a stubborn paranoia. If I treat someone well, I have to give him everything and give all my good things to her. Only when I give it to her will I be happy. When I watch a TV series, once I watch it, I have to stay up all night to finish it. The same is true for me when I read a novel. I have to watch it until the end in one sitting, just in time for a weekend with nothing to do.

I'm really lonely in this city.

I remember when I graduated from college, I was the last one to leave in the dormitory, and I personally sent all my brothers away one by one. Can you imagine that scene? Several gentry in their twenties walking in a row, turning their heads in unison, with no one daring to look at each other. Because I would definitely cry when my eyes met. When I sent my two best friends to the station, Fengfeng said it was embarrassing, so don’t cry. I found that if you hold your head up at 45 degrees, you may not be able to see the sky, but it is a very effective way to stop tears. I forgot how long we agreed to meet, I really forgot.

I have been a paranoid person since I was a child. I do things with a three-minute enthusiasm. I am self-righteous and clever, but I have a huge world in my heart. In my mind, there is actually one thing that I can stick to for the rest of my life, and that is my belief in all the good things in the world, including love. This is also the weakness of Pisces, living too illusory.

When I saw her off after graduation, in the taxi, she asked me where I wanted to go after graduation. I said I wanted to go to BJ because I had never been there, and she said yes. I said you wait for me, and when I have my own career, I will go to your city to marry you. I remember many scenes. When the bus carrying her left, I was the high-spirited me, wearing a white T-shirt and white sneakers. At that time, I really had a kingdom in my heart. Do you believe it?

When I was 22 years old, the pride in my heart should be the highest in my life, because I have brothers and people I love deeply, even if I do well or not in the future. Of course, at that time, I believed that I would definitely do something in my career, instead of doing nothing like today.

I feel that my youth has come to an end since I graduated from college.

There are no more brothers who trick the dormitory door at three o'clock in the morning and go out to get drunk; there is no longer a quiet library, and she is reading quietly next to me. The most terrible thing is that I find that I no longer have the pride I once had. We find that the longer we live, the more we understand, and many things that were previously difficult to accept have become acceptable. For example, when I was in middle school, I spent the summer at my aunt's house. There was a Christian preacher in the same village. I could talk to him righteously for half an hour about what atheism is and what Marxist materialist dialectics is. For example, I used to think that free love was a thing. It’s an extremely sacred thing. Now when I’m chatting with friends, I actually recognize them as a good match.

Is there any way? How many people are like me, at this embarrassing age, in their early 20s, just out of campus, with nothing but pride.

And in the end, I even lost my pride. I am no longer the me who turned in a blank paper in the final exam, nor am I the me who stubbornly almost refused to participate in the graduation thesis defense for the sake of my ideal of writing.

That's right. From the current perspective, the current way of living is the correct way. Accept mainstream values ​​and remove the thorns in ourselves. We must perfectly integrate with society. And those immaturities were the reasons that forced my girl to leave. After all, we have to survive in this real society. We know the etiquette in a practical way, and we don’t even have enough to eat. We talk nonsense about ideals.

But one day, I discovered that there were too many people like me. We were all once proud and young. Are we really the same people we were back then? After all, I failed to make a career in BJ, let alone in SH. I am just one of the millions of ordinary office workers in this city. One member.

I'm sorry, my girl, I broke my promise. I know you must have had deep expectations for me. It's been a long time since I last saw you. I still remember that day, I missed you so much on the crowded subway that I asked for leave when I got to the company. My colleagues knew that I was going to find you, so they advised me why bother. For me, going to see you is the biggest thing. I forgot which holiday it was that day, and I didn’t have a ticket out of Beijing anywhere in the world, so I took the bus to Baoding for several hours, and then took the overnight train from Baoding Station to your city. I didn't get to see you. After the breakup, it turns out that girls are more rational than boys. To be honest, I felt lonely when I went back to BJ that day. I have never resented you. Pisces is probably the zodiac sign that is least good at complaining and holding grudges. We have spent a very happy time together. I wish you a happy life in the future, even if it is not me who is with you.

In countless moments, I still think of you occasionally, just pretend that my youth has not yet ended.

After graduation, a lot of things have changed, and I haven’t contacted the friends I sent away in person for a long time. All over the world, everyone has his or her own life.

Forgive me for not contacting you proactively, because I haven't mixed it up yet. I hope that all my brothers can have lovers and get married eventually, because you are all serious and kind-hearted men.

It’s funny to think about it. During my junior year, I skipped classes for a year and wanted to do something in my writing. When things didn’t go well, I almost didn’t participate in the thesis defense in the second semester of my senior year. Fortunately, I failed. The responsible mentor did not give up on me. I feel a little sad when I talk about this. After all, I met you in the thesis group. I was already a weirdo at that time. I didn’t go to the graduation thesis proposal. You submitted three drafts of your thesis, but I didn’t even start the first draft. This is also the reason why you looked at me curiously when I went to the thesis group for the first time.

Maybe it's because I'm a weirdo with a lot of personality, so I can be extremely passionate when I chase you. I'm afraid I won't do the things I did for you when I was chasing you. That was my peak and the time I was most proud of. From now on, I will never be able to do anything so impressive, I think.

Not everything will disappear with time. After all, there are still two fools who will never leave me, silly Yu Tianle and silly Pan Hao, haha.

There is no deviation in my beliefs, and the truth, goodness and beauty I have always believed in are reflected in my life: I changed jobs several times after graduation, and the colleagues around me were very easy to get along with and gave me warmth. I am very grateful to the friends I have met in the past two years. You are all so vivid. Thank you sister for giving me so much selfless help.

Except for the bad feeling I had when I left my job some time ago, I have never thought of people as that bad. It was the first time in my life that I saw the dangers of human nature with my own eyes. However, my elder brother who I trusted did not have the same affection for me after all. It doesn’t matter, this incident has an impact on me. I feel that I have become less beautiful than before. I no longer believe in everything, I no longer try hard to maintain a relationship with anyone, and I don’t want to force myself into any circle. I feel I'm doing pretty well myself. Just like the WeChat signature, plug in the headphones and the music is the whole world, without so many distractions.

I have become accustomed to lonely days. I squeeze into the subway to go to work, and then squeeze into the subway to get off work. I only have the music in my headphones to accompany me when I walk on the road.

Suddenly one day, I realized that this was wrong.

We can't continue to be so decadent. I have another idea about writing a story. I say it’s an idea because I once thought writing was my ideal, but I gave up on it and now I can only call it an idea.

I want to use a fictional story to recall the past of us, the past when we were full of enthusiasm, the past when we were young, the way we used to be, and how we gradually became the people we are today who are stuck in the quagmire of life. I want to tell myself through this story what kind of person I should be and whether I should continue to believe in those beliefs. Don’t compromise easily while you are young. Maybe this book will give me the courage to be proud again, or maybe it’s just me talking to myself in my spare time.

Seeing more and more readers, I feel really happy, because I have no experience in writing a novel with several million words, and I am afraid that I have many shortcomings. This is what I should do, and I want to do it. Thank you for reading the story I wrote. I also hope that after reading this, it will give us some time to calm down and make us interested in remembering the past.

I hope some of you can understand me. I firmly believe that such a person will appear. I am waiting for you.

In addition, regarding the style of this book, some readers mentioned it in the comment area, saying that it is very similar to Ergou.

It is true that I like Brother Fenghuo's books very much. He is my life mentor in writing: As we all know, in the current environment of Internet literature, routine things are deeply loved by the market, while literary youth is a niche and unpopular one. Warm but not hot. The confidence he gave me was that through his works, I firmly believed that the quality of literary youth can be accepted by the market. In my opinion, Fenghuo's book has gone beyond the scope of Internet literature. He does not always highlight how the protagonist cheats and upgrades to fight monsters, but instead depicts a vivid world for readers in a detailed way. Even roadside stalls are... He gave life to it. For those of you who are impatient to wait, you can go and watch Chen Ergou’s Life of a Monster from Brother Fenghuo and I Am a Toad in the Snow.

This is also the story I want to write.

I am waiting for you. See more Weixin official account: hhxs665