I'm the heroine of a love game in a comic book

Yuecheng Xuejian had a very long dream.

In the dream there were Mori Ogai, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, the previous leader, Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya.

It turns out that the requirement to receive complete memories is to activate supernatural powers.

But the feeling of receiving the memory this time was different from before.

She is the "young lady" in the dream, and the "young lady" is her. All her psychological activities are the will of this "Yukishiro Yukimi".

Yukimi Tsukishiro was walking barefoot on the street. At first she wondered if it was a dream that had brought her to the land of giants, as her height was only as high as a passerby's waist. It was not until she looked at the glass window of a shop that she realized she had become younger, about ten years older.

In the dream, "she" had never left the villa before she was ten years old. She was extremely curious about the outside world. Finally, one day, she sneaked out when the maid was not paying attention.

But she soon lost her way and walked along the path to a "house" made entirely of stones, earth, and cardboard. The streets were dusty and her pink dress was dirty.

The looks from the people around her also made her feel uncomfortable.

Just when she couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to run away, a group of ragged children were beating up two other children.

"Give me the buns, give them to me now you freak."

The boy who was beaten tightly grasped the steamed bun in his hand and quickly stuffed it into the mouth of the girl next to him, "Sister, eat quickly."

Xuejian held her breath for a moment.

Well, the person who got beaten was actually Akutagawa Ryunosuke!

She walked quickly forward and was about to chase away the group of children when she was suddenly stopped by someone.

"Oh my, where are you going, little lady? This is not a place for good children."

Tsukishiro Yukimi raised her head and saw the still relatively young Mori Ogai, wearing a white coat, half-knelt down and looked at her with a smile.

Xuejian pouted, "I'm lost."

"Is that so? Then I'll take the lady home, okay?"

"it is good."

She hurriedly said this and walked around Mori Ogai to find Akutagawa, but the children who were playing together just now were now gone.

She had no choice but to let Mori Ogai lead her towards the villa in a depressed mood.

On the way, Mori Ogai took a detour to take her to see the Yokohama Bay Bridge. He picked her up and stood on the railing. Xuejian opened her arms to feel the sea breeze. The bustling city and the sea and sky merged into one scene.

"The world is so big. It turns out the city I live in is so beautiful."

Mori Ogai laughed out loud, "So Miss, you must take good care of your health so that you can always enjoy our beautiful Yokohama."

Along the way, Mori Ogai had already asked Tsukishiro Xuejian about everything. Xuejian didn't care about his little tricks and answered every question. Naturally, she even let him know about her illness.

"I can't get better. My father doesn't want me to live."

Yuecheng Xuejian already knew the truth about superpowers, and could only say that the predecessor deserved to die.

Mori Ogai's eyes darkened when he heard this, but he quickly returned to his gentle doctor persona, "If you believe me, I will help you take good care of your father and your health."

Xuejian nodded indifferently, "It's settled then, you come to my house and help me."

So this is how the young lady and Mori Ogai knew each other.

*

The dream was very long, and Xuejian had already gone through the life of a young lady in the dream.

She saw the eldest lady trying every means to introduce Mori Ogai to the predecessor, and gradually regarded this man as her real relative. She then joined forces with him to kill the predecessor, began to learn how to manage the gangsters in Hong Kong, and played around with Yamazaki Hideyoshi on a daily basis.

But the one who appears the most times is Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

This time she was wearing an ultramarine dress embroidered with roses. The bustle made the hem of her skirt draw a round curve. Her hair was tied into two flower buds at the back of her head with a bow. She looked like a junior high school student, but she was very imposing. She walked very quickly on her high heels, leaving her subordinates behind. Her subordinates seemed to be afraid of her, and she had long been accustomed to it, and her tone of voice when giving orders was decisive.

Completely Mori Ogai's aesthetic.

At this time, Mori Ogai should have been in power for several years, but the eldest lady has not yet withdrawn from the management of Hong Kong Black.

Suddenly she stopped, and the sound of gunfire came from the other side of the wall, followed by the sound of a soft body being kicked and the boy's suppressed groan.

Xuejian knew this plot, but hearing it with her own ears was different from reading the comics. She suddenly felt a little annoyed and glanced at her subordinate.

"So this is how Dazai teaches his men. It seems I am too lenient with you."

The men were silent.

Not long after, Dazai Osamu came out. Dazai Osamu when he was a Hong Kong gangster cadre was much more terrifying than when he was a butei. The bandages covered half of his face tightly, but in fact he didn't need the bandages at all, because no one dared to look him in the eyes. Wherever he went, people consciously stood on both sides of the aisle and bowed to salute him.

When Dazai Osamu passed by Tsukishiro Yukie, he didn't even spare her a glance until Yukie called him when they passed each other.

"You are too harsh. If you don't like this subordinate, just give it to me."

Dazai Osamu turned his head, and the endless deep sea in his eyes turned into a wave because of Tsukishiro Yukimi's suspected injustice, and then returned to its original state, and kept walking, "It's up to you."

With tacit consent, Yukie walked straight towards Akutagawa Ryunosuke who was left alone in the interrogation room.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was half-kneeling on the ground, his left cheek was bruised and purple, with a few drops of blood foam and a few bullet casings left on the ground. He stood up staggeringly and bumped into Xuejian face to face.

Rashomon reflexively launched, "Who!"

The bodyguard behind him jumped out to block Ryunosuke Akutagawa's attack, but was stopped by Yukie. She walked in front of Ryunosuke Akutagawa. At this time, the boy was as tall as her, thin, and his long black windbreaker almost hung to the ground.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke realized that the person in front of him should be considered his superior. A trace of embarrassment flashed across his eyes, and then he quickly stretched the muscles of his whole body and adjusted his demeanor to behave neither humble nor arrogant.

Xuejian understood him. The weaker you are, the more you fear being looked down upon. Even though she was too sick to get out of bed, she would still dress up and change clothes every day to maintain her remaining dignity. In the case of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, even if the last drop of blood in his body was drained, he would still stand tall and majestic.

But in the eyes of others, it is just a trapped beast fighting hard.

"Come to me if you can't hold on any longer."

There was no doubt that she recognized Ryunosuke Akutagawa as the little boy who had snatched food from others many years ago, but Ryunosuke Akutagawa had long since stopped recognizing her.

The two of them stared at each other for a long time, but Xuejian finally gave in. She didn't want to look into those eyes anymore, so she turned around and left.

But Akutagawa did not appreciate it. He swallowed the fishy sweetness in his throat and spoke in a firm tone, as if he was talking to Xuejian and himself.

"No, I won't give up. I will become someone recognized by Mr. Dazai."

*

After that, Xuejian often went to see him secretly.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa always trains day and night, tirelessly and without rest, and no one can help him.

Year after year, she watched Akutagawa Ryunosuke gradually grow into his current appearance through the eyes of an eldest lady, his health becoming weaker and weaker, but also stronger and stronger.

But every time Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked in her direction as if he sensed something, Xuejian would turn her eyes away.

What do you see through his eyes? Is it resentment, grief and anger... or yourself?

It's like a beast trapped in a cage, a bird that doesn't know how to flap its wings. Akutagawa Ryunosuke can't learn to use his own strength, just like the eldest lady couldn't master the use of her supernatural powers a few years ago, and Tsukishiro Yukie couldn't resist the passing of life.

Yuecheng Xuejian understood what "the same kind" meant.

The earliest impression of this word was from the original body's incomplete memory. She always thought that it referred to a body that was also terminally ill. It turns out that it actually refers to a resistance to fate and a silent cry.

She had just said it in a general way to win over others, seeking Akutagawa's approval, and was annoyed that Akutagawa didn't appreciate it. How could she win over others when she herself had misunderstood the meaning of the word?

Akutagawa Ryunosuke doesn't need other people's pity or help, and neither does Tsukishiro Yukie.

What they really need is for others to treat them as normal people and as strong people.

But there was one thing she still wanted to say to Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

If one day you don’t rely on the recognition of others to live, then you are truly living your own life.

This is the experience of Yuecheng Xuejian's twenty years of life, and the lesson he learned after experiencing countless disappointments.

But it doesn't matter. She can accompany Ryunosuke Akutagawa to find new hobbies and new goals, and he can also move forward in the original direction as long as he likes.

Tsukishiro Yukie doesn't think that she is "saving" Ryunosuke Akutagawa, instead, she is redeeming her former self.

Through the memories of the "young lady", Tsukishiro Yukie fell in love with Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

If the previous strategy was to wait until the character fell in love with her before Yukie really began to respond with her heart, then Akutagawa Ryunosuke was the first person that made her take the initiative to love.

Having lived three lives in the game, Yukimi Tsukishiro has witnessed the love of other players and experienced the feeling of being loved firsthand. She is confident that she has learned how to care for someone.

If I love my past self, how can I not love you who has a similar fate to mine?