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 Family education: an absurd "feast of love"

In today's society, family education seems to have become a fashionable label, as if whoever has a more unique and "advanced" parenting style can show off in the circle of friends. However, behind this seemingly lively "feast of love", we can't help but ask: Is family education really as good as people claim? Today, let me unveil the mystery of this absurd drama.

**1. Family education, a "scripted" performance**

Family education should be a beacon on the path of children's growth, illuminating their direction and providing them with warm companionship and correct guidance. However, in reality, family education often becomes a carefully choreographed "drama", where parents are both scriptwriters and actors, and children become "extras" in this drama.

In this play, parents always appear as "saviors", imparting so-called "philosophy of life" eloquently, trying to shape their children into the perfect image in their minds. However, the real purpose of this play is often just to satisfy the vanity and desire for comparison of parents. They don't seem to care about what their children really need, but only care about whether their children can appear outstanding in front of others.

This "scripted" family education method not only deprives children of their autonomy and creativity, but also teaches them how to cater to the expectations of others instead of pursuing their own dreams. In the long run, children will lose the ability to think independently and become a group of "puppets" who can only perform according to the established script.

**2. "Other people's children", the eternal "reference"**

In family education, there is a character that always accompanies us - that is "other people's children". He seems to be always so excellent, so obedient, and so sensible, and has become a "reference" used by countless parents to teach their own children.

"Look at other people's children, they study so consciously, unlike you, who only know how to play all day long!" "Other people's children can do housework, but you can't even clean your room!" Do these words sound familiar? In the mouths of parents, "other people's children" seem to be omnipotent and excellent, while their own children are always full of shortcomings and deficiencies. This kind of comparison will not only make children feel strongly frustrated and inferior, but also make them lose confidence and interest in family education.

What is more serious is that "other people's children" can also become an invisible pressure, causing children to gradually lose themselves in the process of pursuing perfection and excellence. They begin to imitate, learn, and even copy all the behaviors and habits of "other people's children" in order to become the pride of their parents. However, this kind of imitation and copying that loses the self will only make children become more and more mediocre and boring.

**3. Educational methods, from "free range" to "excessive intervention"**

In today's society, there are two extreme trends in family education methods: one is "free range", which believes that children should have full freedom to choose their own lifestyle and growth path; the other is "over-intervention", in which parents monitor and manage their children's growth and learning in all aspects.

"Free-range" parents believe that children are born with the ability to explore and seek knowledge, and as long as they are given enough freedom and time, they will thrive. However, this kind of education often leads to children lacking rules and self-discipline, and having difficulty adapting to the rules and requirements of society.

Parents who "over-intervention" believe that children are young and ignorant and need guidance and help from their parents. Therefore, they begin to intervene and manage their children's lives and studies in all aspects, and even make decisions and choices for their children. Although this kind of education method can make children achieve excellent results in a short period of time, in the long run, it will make children lose the ability to think independently and their autonomy.

What is more serious is that both "free range" and "over-intervention" reflect the laziness and irresponsibility of parents in their education methods. They do not really understand their children's needs and interests, nor do they think about how to carry out targeted education based on their children's personality and characteristics. Instead, they just choose a seemingly simple and direct way to carry out family education.

**Fourth, the expression of love, from "selfless dedication" to "conditional giving"**

In family education, love is undoubtedly one of the most core elements. However, in real life, the expression of love often presents an absurd trend.

On the one hand, parents always appear in front of their children with a "selfless dedication" attitude. They are willing to pay all costs for their children, even sacrificing their own time and energy. They think this is the best love for their children, but ignore what the children really need.

On the other hand, parents’ love is often conditional. When children achieve good results, they will give meticulous care and rewards; when children make mistakes or fail to meet their expectations, they will punish them severely or even ridicule them. This kind of “conditional love” not only makes children feel unable to feel real warmth and security, but also makes them learn to measure their own value and sense of existence by their grades.

What is even more absurd is that some parents even take an extreme approach to express their love - spoiling their children. They will do whatever it takes to satisfy their children's needs, even giving up their own principles and bottom line. This kind of spoiling will not only make children selfish, willful, and lawless, but will also make them lose the ability to live independently and the courage to face difficulties.

**V. The definition of success: from "coexistence of diversity" to "single standard"**

In family education, the definition of success is a crucial issue. It not only affects parents' educational concepts and behaviors, but also shapes children's values ​​and worldview invisibly.

However, in today's society, the definition of success has shown an absurd trend of uniformity. Parents seem to have reached a tacit understanding: success means pursuing high scores, prestigious schools and high-paying jobs. This concept not only ignores the personality, interests and talents of children, but also locks the standard of success into a narrow range.

Under the influence of this concept, children are instilled with a wrong perception: only by getting good grades and being admitted to a prestigious school can they achieve success and happiness. As a result, they begin to blindly pursue scores and rankings, ignoring the true understanding of knowledge and the true feelings in their hearts. This pursuit not only makes children lose the fun and motivation of learning, but also makes them vulnerable when facing setbacks and failures.

What's more serious is that this singular definition of success will also lead children to develop a distorted competitive mentality. They begin to regard their classmates and friends as competitors and try to surpass them by various means. This kind of competition will not only destroy children's social relationships, but also make them lose their self and dignity in the process of pursuing success.

**Six. Communication Misunderstandings: From "One-Way Indoctrination" to "Real Listening"**

In family education, communication is one of the most important links. However, in real life, many parents fall into the misunderstanding of communication.

On the one hand, they always educate in a "one-way indoctrination" way. They think that everything they know is correct, so they tirelessly impart various knowledge and concepts to their children. However, this way of communication often ignores the feelings and needs of children, resulting in children being unable to truly understand and accept their parents' education.

On the other hand, many parents lack true listening when communicating. They are always eager to express their own views and opinions, but ignore their children's thoughts and feelings. This lack of listening communication not only fails to solve the problem, but also causes children to have rebellious psychology and resistance.

What is even more absurd is that some parents even adopt a threatening and intimidating approach when communicating. They try to make their children obey their wishes in this way, but ignore the independence and autonomy of their children. This way of communication will not only make children feel scared and uneasy, but also destroy the trust and relationship between parents and children.

**VII. Creating a family atmosphere, from "formalism" to "real harmony"

Family atmosphere has a profound impact on children's growth. A warm and harmonious family atmosphere can provide children with a safe and comfortable environment for healthy growth; on the contrary, an indifferent and violent family atmosphere will bring great harm and negative impact to children.

However, in real life, many families have fallen into the misunderstanding of creating a family atmosphere. On the one hand, they pay too much attention to formalism and try to create a seemingly warm and harmonious family atmosphere through various activities and rituals. However, this formalistic way of creating often ignores the real feelings and needs of family members, resulting in a hypocritical and artificial family atmosphere.

On the other hand, some families have fallen into the abyss of indifference and violence. There is a lack of communication and understanding between parents, and quarrels and conflicts often occur; parents adopt an attitude of indifference, neglect or even violence towards their children. This family atmosphere will not only cause great psychological trauma to children, but also make them lose trust and confidence in their family and society.

What is even more absurd is that some families even take an extreme approach to creating a family atmosphere - spoiling. In order to make their children feel the warmth and love of the family, parents meet their needs and requirements at all costs. However, this kind of spoiling will not only make children selfish, willful, and unreasonable, but also make them lose the ability to live independently and the courage to face difficulties.

**8. The loss of educational goals, from "pursuing excellence" to "cultivating happiness"**

What is the ultimate goal of family education? This is a question that every parent should think deeply about. However, in real life, many parents are lost in the pursuit of excellence.

They hope that their children can become social elites, industry leaders, academic masters... In order to achieve this goal, they provide their children with the best educational resources, the most superior living conditions, and the strictest discipline at all costs. However, in the process of pursuing excellence, they ignore the real needs and desires of their children.

What is even more absurd is that some parents even define excellence as a symbol of money and status. They believe that only by having enough wealth and social status can one be considered truly successful and excellent. Under the influence of this concept, children are instilled with a wrong value: only by pursuing money and status can one obtain true happiness and satisfaction.

However, this pursuit of money and status values ​​not only leads people to neglect the pursuit and improvement of the spiritual level, but also makes people fall into an endless anxiety and competition. In this state, it is difficult for people to obtain real happiness and satisfaction, but they will feel more and more empty and confused.

** 9. The gap between expectations and reality, from "ideal blueprint" to "cruel reality"

In family education, parents' expectations for their children are often full of idealism. They hope that their children can have a perfect future: successful studies, successful careers, happy families... This expectation not only reflects the love and care that parents have for their children, but also their yearning and pursuit for a better life.

However, there is often a huge gap between reality and parents' expectations. On the one hand, children's growth and development are affected by many factors, including talent, interests, personality, opportunities, etc. These factors make each child's growth trajectory unique, and it is difficult for them to develop completely according to their parents' expectations.

On the other hand, changes in the social environment will also have an impact on children's future. As society continues to develop and change, new opportunities and challenges continue to emerge. This makes parents face more uncertainty and risks when planning for their children's future.

What is even more absurd is that some parents, when faced with the gap between expectations and reality, are unable to accept reality and adjust their expectations. They try to force their children to develop according to their expectations through various means, and even resort to extreme means to achieve their goals. This practice not only brings great pressure and pain to children, but also destroys the trust and relationship between parents and children.

**10. The necessity of self-growth, from "leading by example" to "making progress together"

In family education, parents are not only the guides of their children, but also the role models on their growth path. Parents' behaviors, attitudes and values ​​will have a profound impact on their children's growth.

Therefore, parents need to focus on self-growth, constantly update their knowledge and concepts, and improve their behavioral standards and moral codes. Only in this way can parents set an example and become a positive role model for their children's growth.

However, in real life, many parents ignore the importance of self-growth. They think they are good enough and do not need to learn and improve. This concept will not only lead to