Harry Potter: Who cares about belated motherly love?

After that person's power disappeared, the environment around me changed drastically.

First of all, my friends are gone.

Peter died and Sirius was sent to Azkaban.

I was very sad about James and Lily's death, but at the same time, I felt that they at least protected their son.

It is said that Harry, who remains, will be left in the care of Lily's relatives.

I thought I could live a peaceful life from then on, but it turned out that this was just the beginning of my suffering.

After finishing his work with the Order of the Phoenix, he returned home in high spirits, only to find that everything had been lost.

My parents have passed away, my familiar home has been occupied by strangers, and all my belongings have been disposed of.

When I asked the new residents what was going on, they told me that the house was bought in one go at an auction and produced legal proof of ownership.

After hastily checking the house registration, I discovered that my father had indeed transferred the property to the current occupant.

My parents, my house, everything that once belonged to us was gone. I still had a lot of precious things hidden in my house.

My savings were running low and I had to find a job and a place to live immediately.

Also, I had to find a safe place to spend the full moon.

However, I had very little money to work with.

After investigation, I found that my parents left some savings in my name.

I had planned to relax for a while with my parents, recover from the exhaustion of hard work, and even considered doing odd jobs in the Muggle world.

I never expected that my new life would begin so hastily without even having time to grieve.

These days are much more difficult than the infiltration missions I thought were difficult before.

When I was working for the Order, James would help me pay for my expenses so I could live. Looking back now, James was really generous and never let me worry about money.

But James was gone, and neither were Sirius and Peter.

Gone are my friends who knew I was a werewolf but still accepted me, and my parents who loved me.

I understand now. It is because I believe that my parents are waiting for me at home that I was able to persevere.

Just for this reason, I feel happy.

I had no money, no connections, no place to rent, and could only wander around. I changed jobs frequently.

I finally understood the plight of werewolves like me who had no place to live and no decent job.

I now understand why, when a guy like me who knows no hardship sneaks into the enemy camp and tries to incite rebellion, no one is willing to defect.

Life is more important than anything else.

I wanted to ask Dumbledore for help in finding a job, but for some reason I couldn't ask him for help.

Because the last time I saw him, he didn't say anything about my parents.

The same is true for other members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Didn't they know about my parents' death a long time ago? Did they also know that my family was gone? If I had been prepared, I might not have been so shocked.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Maybe if I asked, they might help, but I was simply not in the mood.

I feel like asking for help won't help.

In fact, ever since the disappeared man no longer threatened everyone, the Order of the Phoenix was almost in a state of disbandment, and there was no one to rely on if they wanted help.

After losing my home, I managed to make ends meet by working on Muggle construction sites.

Through some of the connections I made while infiltrating, I knew that it would be easier if I fell into darkness, but I always felt that my parents would definitely not want me to go down that path, so I still tried my best to persevere.

Really, there is nothing left.

The grave of his parents was buried next to his father's by his father's colleague, a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

When I returned home and found my parents dead and my home gone, I immediately contacted the member who had a close relationship with my father.

He told me the news with embarrassment and left in a hurry.

In fact, I should be grateful to the members of the Order of the Phoenix just for burying my parents, but I think they are too heartless.

They gave such a difficult task to me, a young man who had just graduated from Hogwarts.

I lost my parents and home during the mission. Even when peace came, I couldn't find a decent job, but no one offered me a helping hand.

Most of the other members have their own jobs, and there don't seem to be many people like me who are specifically responsible for infiltration.

Maybe because of the infiltration mission, I don’t know much about the other members.

I even think Dumbledore is ruthless.

He made me do all that work, and then abandoned me without any compensation the moment Voldemort was defeated.

It turns out that this is just a volunteer organization.

Maybe that's why they have no obligation to help me, but even so, they didn't even introduce me to a new job. Couldn't they foresee that I would have a difficult future?

Am I expecting too much?

I always thought that even a werewolf could be recognized as long as he worked hard. So I tried my best to hold on. However, everyone returned to their jobs and families, as if nothing had happened, and began to live a peaceful life. Only I was left behind.

I was gone from my friends, my family, the home I grew up in, even the things I held dear. I had no relics from my parents, and I certainly didn’t have a decent job.

As a werewolf, I have no place in the wizarding world.

I guess the secret keeper is Peter, although this is just my guess.

So, it wasn't Sirius who betrayed, but Peter.

I really can't imagine Sirius betraying James, and as for who killed the Muggles, I have no idea.

If the Auror said Sirius did it, then it was probably him.

Sirius may have lost control of his anger and wanted to kill Peter, but ended up hurting others.

I have done my best to find out that Peter's mother lives in a very nice institution and is very comfortable. I know Peter does not have such financial resources, so he may have revealed James's hiding place to the dark forces.

As far as I know, the rewards from the dark forces are quite generous, and it is obvious that this is not given by the light forces.

If the rewards from the Light Forces were so generous, I wouldn’t be in this situation today.

The Light Forces are nothing more than a voluntary organization.

I only really felt this after James passed away.

Peter had complained before that he simply didn't have the energy to do volunteer work.

Although I'm not sure if Peter actually died, he may have turned into a rat and escaped.

However, I don't think Peter made the wrong choice. James and Sirius never had to go hungry. They were two rich kids who didn't know what it was like to have to work to put food on the table. They had the energy to volunteer...

The Order of the Phoenix is ​​actually an organization that only those who live a comfortable life or have a decent job can join. James and Sirius meet the requirements, but Peter and I are not suitable.

I'm a werewolf and can't find a decent job, so as long as James can guarantee my life, I can barely continue.

James was kind of attentive to me, but I don't think he cared about Peter in the same way. To be honest, Peter shouldn't have been involved in the Order of the Phoenix at all.

How did Peter live? I know he found a job, but I'm afraid he couldn't handle it if he also had to take care of the Order of the Phoenix under such circumstances.

He had just found a job, and that job itself was enough of a headache for him, not to mention the tasks of the Order of the Phoenix. He had no time to do his regular job, right? The Aurors were fine, their job was to deal with Voldemort and the dark wizards, which was consistent with the mission of the Order of the Phoenix. They completed their official jobs while doing the tasks of the Order of the Phoenix. The situation in other departments of the Ministry of Magic was similar.

But Peter was doing an ordinary job, which had nothing to do with the mission of the Order of the Phoenix.

So sometimes when he saw me, he complained that the tasks of the Order of the Phoenix were too difficult for him to handle and he even wanted to quit.

But if he really wanted to quit, James and Sirius would definitely not agree.

If the two of them get angry, Peter might not be able to gain a foothold in the light camp, and might even feel that he cannot survive in the entire wizarding world.

He must be feeling uneasy about the future.

Just when Sirius gave Peter the task of keeping the secret, the dark forces happened to offer Peter a large sum of money in exchange for the whereabouts of James' family?

Peter's family was not rich. Although they were a single-parent family, they seemed to be living a comfortable life. However, they were just an ordinary family, and they were probably not so poor that they could not survive.

What if Peter resented James and Sirius for forcing him to be involved in the Order? What if he regretted the loss of his normal life because of the wizarding war? What if he was almost fired? After becoming the Secret-Keeper, Peter might have worried that dark forces would hunt him down, leaving his mother alone. He might have realized that it was his membership in the Order and his role as Secret-Keeper that put his mother in danger.

If someone put a large sum of money in front of him so that he could provide a good life for his mother, he might accept it.

After all, the Order of the Phoenix was only a voluntary organization and he could have quit at any time.

Even if he betrayed the Order of the Phoenix, no one had the right to blame him, after all, everyone joined out of good intentions.

If the goodwill is gone, then it would be reasonable to withdraw.

If the other party can properly arrange for his mother's old age, Peter will naturally turn to the dark forces. If it were me, I would never betray.

I don't think Peter's choice was wrong. Why should friends go to that extent? Peter is different from James and Sirius.

I had followed Dumbledore's instructions to track down werewolves working for 'The Man', which might have made me look like an accomplice of the Dark Forces in Sirius's eyes.

That's why he chose Peter instead of me as the secret keeper.

Frankly, I have no idea what Sirius was thinking. Didn't they understand that Peter would give up his friends for his mother? That Peter would prioritize James and his family over his own life and his mother's? It would be fine if he was just sacrificing himself, but for Peter, his mother's safety was his top priority.

If Peter was to be the keeper of the secret, he should at least ensure the safety of his mother and the security of her old age. Were James' parents already dead by then? Maybe so, so they didn't think about these issues at all.

Sirius's entire family was on the dark side, and he didn't need to worry about his family's safety, so he didn't consider Peter's situation.

After all, Sirius put James before his family, how could he understand Peter's feelings? Without these concerns, forcing Peter would not work. Everyone has different values.

In this case, there is no other choice but Sirius.

So, even if the death of the Muggles was not Sirius' fault, James and Lily both died because of him, and he had no choice but to be imprisoned in Azkaban.

I wonder how he is doing in Azkaban? I hope he can reflect on his impulsiveness and not have a mental breakdown, otherwise it will be worse.

I have wondered why these things happened, but my life was difficult and I had no time or energy to dwell on the past.

I mostly worked on Muggle construction sites where my background wasn't a concern.

In Nocket Lane, someone would send the unemployed laborers to places where there was a shortage of workers.

Although there are jobs in the wizarding world, most of them are on Muggle construction sites and farms. After all, these jobs are legal and safe to do. They also introduced cheap accommodation. When I became a werewolf, I didn't have my own home and could only hide in places where there were few people. In any case, I definitely didn't want to hurt anyone.

Whenever I feel extremely uneasy and depressed, I miss the small mountain house where I lived with my parents. If that house was still there, I wouldn't have to live so hard. I could support myself just by working on the Muggle construction site.

My father often said this when I was a child, when I thought I would never go to Hogwarts.

He felt like an incompetent father for turning his son into a werewolf, but at least he left me the house.

The mountain belongs to others, but our cottage and vegetable garden belong to our family.

Even though I couldn't go to Hogwarts and didn't have a proper job, at least I had a place to live. My father often apologized with tears in his eyes and said that he hoped I could forgive him.

Because of this house, I was able to participate in the activities of the Phoenix Society at that time with ease. Since I had a place to live, I was not too worried about the future.

I thought I could be self-sufficient and work outside from time to time.

I never thought I would lose this house, and that's why it hurts so much now.

Although I try not to think about these things, sometimes my mood still becomes very heavy.

No matter how painful it is, this kind of life will never end.

I can no longer escape from this situation, and I vaguely feel that this kind of life may continue until the day I die.