Forced to sell misery

-

I was born in a small village in the Land of Water, where the snow was very deep. Although we lived a poor life relying on farming for a living, my parents were content with the status quo.

In my memory, my parents were really gentle.

But something happened as far back as I can remember.

——Because of my blood... Because I inherited that ominous blood, my father killed my mother and wanted to kill me.

The Water Kingdom, which has experienced a long civil war, is very wary of people with blood boundaries.

The bloodline is a special ability or spell that is inherited only by parents to children or grandparents to descendants and is passed down within a certain clan.

Because of their special abilities, this tribe was used to participate in various disputes, and was even regarded as a terrifying existence that brought war and disaster to the country.

After the war, that clan hid their power and lived in anonymity, because...if anyone knew the secret, only death would await them.

People with special abilities are deeply feared...

My mother was a person who possessed a bloodline, but she hid this fact and lived with my father.

She must want to live a stable life like this forever.

But... my birth broke all...

I also inherited this power from my mother.

My father, who is an ordinary person, could not accept the existence of my mother and me - people could no longer tolerate the war, so they naturally could not tolerate the existence of us who were regarded as weapons of war.

My father, with those villagers...

He, they killed my mother and they wanted to kill me.

But - I used my awakened power to kill those who wanted to kill me...

The most painful thing in this world is probably...

In this world, it seems like I am completely unnecessary.

If someone appears who truly recognizes your existence from the bottom of his heart, then that person should become the most important person to you.

Mr. Zabuza knew that I was an ominous person who inherited the bloodline limit. Even though he knew this, he still took me in.

Possessing abilities that everyone hates, he actively chooses to need me.

-

That day was probably the coldest day of that winter, because after that, my winters were no longer cold.

Snowflakes fall silently...

It's so cold...

I squatted in the corner, curled up into a small ball, hugged myself tightly, hoping to get some warmth...

"Pathetic little devil..."

I looked up and saw the person I had been waiting for.

That was our...first meeting.

Mr. Zabuza came over, squatted down, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "No one needs a brat like you... You have no future, no freedom, no dreams, only death."

Am I such a pathetic person?

I felt a little sad, but I tried to laugh because I found out——

"Big Brother has the same eyes as mine..."

Lonely, like ice and snow... It looks extremely cold, but it is unexpectedly quiet and gentle.

They...are the same people...

"Big Brother, you... have the same eyes as me."

At that time, after hearing what I said, Mr. Zabuza widened his eyes in shock. He asked me, "Kid, do you hope someone needs you?"

"Can you give everything for me?"

I nodded.

"Then, from today on, your abilities belong to me."

I stood up and walked over to the man.

Mr. Zabuza's big, warm hand fell on my head, and then I was pulled into that broad embrace.

——That was the first time after I lost my parents that I felt close to others, accepted, needed, and recognized...

I am very happy.

Mr. Zabuza is different from others.

From then on, the famous and feared Kirigakure demon Zabuza became the most important person to me.

-

It's hard for me to be a ninja.

If possible, I don’t want to kill anyone, nor do I want to be killed by others.

But if the world cannot avoid disputes, people must draw their swords against each other.

Then I can also kill my own heart and become a completely ruthless ninja.

I fight for my dream. Others will also fight for their dreams.

So... please don't hate me.

I want to protect the person who is most important to me. I want to act for that person, I want to fight for that person. I want to make that person's dream come true. That's my dream.

I can go full ninja for this and kill every enemy in sight.

With this thought in mind, I became a weapon that satisfied Mr. Zabuza.

——I can be heartless, and even abandon the concept of life, and stay by Mr. Zabuza's side as a true fighting machine called a ninja.

-

"Shiro, I'm sorry to say that I have to abandon the Water Kingdom tonight."

At that time, what I saw in Zabuza-san's eyes was something called ambition.

"But I will definitely return to this country and I will take it into my own hands."

At that time, Mr. Zabuza looked at me and said to me,

"What I need is not words of comfort or encouragement that are of no use at all. What I really need is you..."

Of course I understood what Mr. Zabuza meant, so I interrupted him.

"I understand, don't worry."

Because I was allowed to leave with Mr. Zabuza, and it was also part of Mr. Zabuza's future plan, I was very happy and satisfied. I smiled and said to Mr. Zabuza,

"I am Mr. Zabuza's weapon."

"I will keep my promise. Please treat me as a tool and keep me by your side."

"Good boy."

Mr. Zabuza once praised me, saying that I was an innocent, intelligent and pure child.

And I exist for Mr. Zabuza.

This is the whole meaning of my life.

I know that Mr. Zabuza is a very ambitious person.

He hated his hometown, the "Blood Mist Village" where the existence of ninjas was marked by killing and blood.

So Mr. Zabuza actually wanted to change it.

In fact, Mr. Zabuza is also a very gentle person.

That was when I started learning ninjutsu under the guidance of Mr. Zabuza. When I was learning the substitution technique, Mr. Rabbit, who was used as a prop, often ran around disobediently...

Mr. Zabuza would quickly catch the disobedient Mr. Rabbit and throw it to me.

Although Zabuza still had a stern face and looked unhappy, but... I understood Mr. Zabuza, he was tolerant and caring about me.

-

The day I followed Mr. Zabuza away, the sky was also filled with heavy snow.

That day,

I met the kid who had the same eyes as my former self.

But, it was only once.

Now I have found the meaning and destination of my existence.

And that child...will be found too.

That’s what I thought at that time.

In the end, the two children with similar fates drifted apart from each other.

The strong never lack followers.

Even though Mr. Zabuza's assassination attempt on the Mizukage failed and his coup d'état failed, he had to defect with several of his subordinates and become a renegade ninja, but... he had to raise funds for revenge while avoiding the pursuit and revenge of the Kirigakure ninjas.

We even cooperate with guys like Cardo and work for him...

I will always be with Mr. Zabuza and become his best weapon—

This is what I have always wanted.

But after being with Mr. Zabuza for a long time, I became greedy...

I am afraid - I am afraid that I will be abandoned again, and I am also afraid... of becoming a pathetic, unwanted existence again -

As long as I can become that special person in Mr. Zabuza's heart...

Not just tools... Mr. Zabuza and I...

I have never dared to hope to become the most important person recognized by each other, I just... am unwilling to do so.

And now, I have lost all my usefulness... and I have also lost the qualifications to stay by Zabuza's side.

So...I am willing to die for Mr. Zabuza.

At least, make my death a little more useful.

So I rushed forward and risked my own life to block the fatal blow for Mr. Zabuza.

Even if my heart is pierced, even if I lose my life, even if... I can no longer be with Mr. Zabuza...

But perhaps this is the last thing I can do for Mr. Zabuza.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Zabuza, I failed to be the weapon you needed..."

"But, I was able to protect Mr. Zabuza in the end. I... I am not that useless, right..."

I smiled, hoping that Mr. Zabuza wouldn't care about my death... This is also normal.

This...is...enough.

It’s just, so nice…

I saw that child again who looked like him.

Only this time, it wasn't just a quick glance.

We exchanged names.

This is also the proof that I once existed...

Snowing.

The lonely, silent falling snow is also quiet and gentle.

In the snow, the boy as cold as ice left the world with the last trace of affection and warmth left in his heart.

"Big brother has the same eyes as me!"

"Kid, do you wish someone needed you?"

……

"My name is Bai."

"What about you?"

……

That smile also disappeared in the snow...

Never see you again.

-

Regret?

The young man who had once appeared stunningly in my presence looked at me with an expression that seemed to show pity.

Regret?

I asked myself.

No regrets, I think.

Because... it's enough.