The unscrupulous system forced me to frantically test the small black room

"I've always been curious about what kind of person you, such an excellent and perfect person, would like."

"That day I finally saw the person you called out for help even when you were nearly fainting."

"To be honest, he's very ordinary. I can't understand why you like him, and I don't understand why he doesn't like you." Nova commented sharply.

Xu Yanze felt heavy in his heart when he heard this, his eyebrows drooped, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest.

He once liked me, Xu Yanze whispered in his heart.

"You asked him for help. Did someone hurt you?" Nova asked.

"Yeah. They reject and hate me, even my family is no exception, because I am a homosexual." Xu Yanze replied.

"Did he save you?" Nova asked.

Xu Yanze opened his mouth when he heard that, but then paused. The words lingered between his lips and teeth for a while before he spoke with sadness in his eyes.

"He reached out his hand to me, but I couldn't hold it." Xu Yanze replied.

"Can we talk about him?" Nova asked curiously.

"What do you want to know?" Xu Yanze replied.

"About why you fell in love with him." Nova said.

There was a hint of obscurity in Xu Yanze's eyes. He suppressed his surging emotions and spoke.

"The toad had been crawling cautiously in the dirty mud, but one day he suddenly discovered that the swan could fly freely in the blue sky." Xu Yanze said.

"Although I don't understand what you are saying, I heard the words toad and swan. I think you are talking about the toad wanting to eat the swan meat."

"Love makes people blind, and you are so perfect."

"In fact, you are the elegant white swan. You can fly higher and farther than anyone else," said Nova.

"I'm not as perfect as you think." Xu Yanze said.

"Your humility will not be recognized by me, your defeated opponent." Nova complained.

Xu Yanze looked back, unbuttoned his cuffs, and stretched out his left wrist in front of Nova.

With the help of moonlight, Nova saw the criss-crossing wounds on Xu Yanze's wrist. They were ugly and bumpy, and some of them had not yet healed. It was obvious that they had occurred not long ago.

Nova looked stunned and her heart tightened.

"What are these?" Nova asked.

"As you can see, I'm just a coward who escapes reality by hurting myself." Xu Yanze replied.

Nova was unable to come back to her senses for a long time, and she felt that the scar on Xu Yanze's hand was really shocking.

"Are you sick like me?" Nova asked.

"Yeah." Xu Yanze replied softly.

"Have you ever committed suicide like I did?" Nova asked again.

"Yeah." Xu Yanze replied.

Nova's mouth was open, her eyes blank.

"But you're so good, so perfect! Why would you want to commit suicide?"

"Besides, you are Mr. Gu's student. As long as you want, you can get everything you want." Nova asked doubtfully.

"You are very good. You are not like me. You have also tried to give up on yourself." Xu Yanze replied.

Hearing this, Nova lowered her head and pursed her lips, with a look of loss on her face.

"We are different."

“Not only am I hurting myself, I’m also hurting others.”

"I slashed Auntie Amy, and I also slashed other people's doors with a knife many times when I lost my mind. People in the villa are afraid of me, even Emma is no exception."

"Besides, I thought I could get what I wanted by working hard, but it turns out I was just one step away from becoming Mr. Gu's student like you."

"But I lost this opportunity, and my sister Emma got it." Nova's eyes were red and wet.

"Do you hate Emma for taking away your opportunity?" Xu Yanze asked.

"It's too hypocritical to say that I don't hate you."

"I hated it, but I know that Emma did nothing wrong."

"Besides, Emma hated studying the most since she was a child, but she had to accept that kind of education. This must be a torment for her."

"I know all the sacrifices Emma has made for me over the years. She feels guilty about me, so she wants to give me everything. She stays by my side all the time and tries every way to make me happy."

"Emma is such a playful person. Her dream since childhood was to travel around the world. But because of me, she has to be trapped in this small villa."

"She must be very tired all these years accompanying a patient like me who has a bad personality."

"If I die, she will get the freedom she longs for," Nova said.

Nova was silent for a moment before speaking.

"I'll tell you a secret. It took me a year to finally communicate with the agency and successfully make an appointment for euthanasia."

"Soon I will ask Emma to take me out for a walk, and then when she is not paying attention, I will have someone prepared in advance take me to a hospice to end my life." Nova said.

Xu Yanze did not respond to Nova's words, and his expression did not change at all when Nova said she wanted to commit suicide.

"I thought you would persuade me not to seek death, and then save me from the cold death like a god, just like you did that day in the water." Nova smiled.

"If this is the result of your solemn decision, then death is your right and freedom." Xu Yanze said gently.

Nova was stunned when she heard this, and then a smile appeared on her face.

"You are really someone who surprised me."

"Although you are no longer perfect in my heart, I feel that my admiration for you is about to turn into love." Nova smiled.

"Thank you." Xu Yanze replied.

"That's a straightforward rejection." Nova sighed.

The two chatted idly for a while.

"Thank you for being willing to chat with me for so long today." Nova said with a smile.

"You're welcome." Xu Yanze replied.

"Now it's time to comfort my sister who has been hiding behind the window and crying for a while." Nova rubbed her eyebrows helplessly.

As soon as Nova finished speaking, Emma couldn't bear it anymore. She jumped out from behind the window, pounced on Nova on the ground, and buried her head in Nova's chest, crying.

"Nova, you are so cruel. How could you make an euthanasia appointment without telling us? You even want me to take you to the road of death personally. You are so cruel to me, Nova." Emma cried.

"I thought you should know that I chose to tell you this now even though I knew you were eavesdropping, hoping that you would stop me."

"After all, it would be unladylike to change your mind after making an appointment for euthanasia. It would be more decent to be stopped by your family."

"In fact, when Mr. Xu pulled me out of the arms of death in the water, death was no longer a desirable thing for me." Nova said with a smile.