The unscrupulous system forced me to frantically test the small black room

The bonfire went out, but there was still some light left on the firewood, giving off a hint of warmth.

Tao Zhi raised his head and looked at the starry sky. The evening breeze blew past, and the coolness made people shiver, but it also made Tao Zhi's heart exceptionally peaceful.

Tao Zhi took off his shoes and walked towards the beach. The sand and gravel hurt his feet a little, but Tao Zhi didn't care. The sound of the waves was louder than before. When he got closer, Tao Zhi saw the sparkling waves under the moonlight.

His feet sank into the soft sand, and the cold sea water hit Tao Zhi's feet.

Tao Zhi simply opened his arms and let his body fall backwards, landing on the mud and sand. Waves came in waves, wetting Tao Zhi's clothes, and then surged away.

Tao Zhi looked at the sky, watched the twinkling stars, felt the bone-chilling coldness of his body, and only in a trance did he regain some clarity.

When I was a child, I wanted to go to the beach very much, but my family didn’t have that much money, so my father held me in his arms and comforted me when I cried, and promised to find time to take me to the aquarium.

He said the aquarium is the same as the sea, there is no difference.

At that time, my father had not yet become an alcoholic or gambler, and he would not beat me and my mother. He just drove a taxi normally, and occasionally brought me and my mother some small surprises when he came back.

I used to be happy and could look forward to my parents taking me to the aquarium, until I fell ill.

ALS is a disease that slowly causes a person to lose all mobility.

At first, my father tried his best to make money for his own treatment. Later, when he ran out of money, he shamelessly asked relatives to borrow. When he couldn't borrow, he took out a loan. When he couldn't repay the loan, he went to gamble. When he lost in gambling, he consoled himself with alcohol.

Later on, Dad stopped being like a dad.

He began to beat and scold himself and his mother at every turn, using the dirtiest words to curse himself as a bastard and a money-loser.

He would pinch his neck and drag himself off the bed when his legs could no longer move, shouting with red eyes, "You've ruined me, why don't you just die."

After drinking, he would roar and chop open his door with an axe, then drag himself out of the closet where he was hiding in fear and beat him up.

But he would regret it after drinking, pick up a little stray dog ​​from the roadside and put it in his arms, and then after the next drunken rage, he would throw the dog out of the window in front of him.

So, I never had the chance to see the sea or visit the oceanarium again.

He could only grow up alone in a small, dim room, relying on endless medication, and his bed was piled with crude stuffed dolls that his mother had sewn herself.

I can only rely on an obsolete mobile phone with a broken screen to receive information from the outside world and see the scenery that I will never be able to see in my lifetime.

Rely on the words of novels to understand the love that you will never experience personally in this life.

Later, my mother gave me a fish tank, in which there were many colorful little fish swimming around.

Mom said that the fish tank, the oceanarium and the sea are the same, there is no difference.

I believed it myself.

So even though it was tiring, he still had to sit on the bed with the fish tank on his legs, watching, teasing and feeding the fish day and night.

In order to see them more clearly, I submerge my face in the water, hold my breath and watch them swim around. Some curious small fish will swim to my lips and bite them, making me laugh.

Did I ever imagine at that time that one day I would be able to go to the beach with a bunch of friends, playing and laughing, catching fish and shrimps together?

Sadly, these are all fake.

Just a piece of paper.

Since when did I start getting too immersed in the role?

Perhaps it started on Gong Cheng’s birthday, when I followed my heart, opened the door and hugged Gong Cheng after he confessed his love to me.

Or maybe it was earlier when his behavior upset Xu Yanze and caused him to commit self-harm.

Or, from the very beginning when he systematically introduced Gong Cheng's identity and background, which were identical to his own except for ALS, he was destined to fall into this fictional dream.

Gong Cheng had almost finished packing. He turned his head and saw Tao Zhi lying on the beach. Feeling helpless, he walked towards Tao Zhi.

"Sir, the sea water is too cold at night. Get up quickly and don't catch a cold." Gong Cheng extended his hand to Tao Zhi.

Tao Zhi's gaze fell from the stars to Gong Cheng, which startled Gong Cheng.

Tao Zhi's expression was one of confusion or something else, Gong Cheng couldn't tell clearly, but after seeing the dimmed starlight reflected in Tao Zhi's eyes, Gong Cheng felt inexplicably panicked.

Tao Zhi glanced at the hand that Gong Cheng stretched out to him, but did not grab it. Instead, he looked up at the sky again with some indifference.

Gong Cheng couldn't explain the sudden panic in his heart. For a moment he felt that he couldn't catch Tao Zhi in front of him, or maybe he had never really caught him.

Tao Zhi did not hold Gong Cheng's hand, so Gong Cheng simply bent down and half-knelt, letting his knees get stained with the soft mud and sand. Then, he took Tao Zhi's icy hand and held it in his own hand as another wave of bitingly cold sea water came over.

"Sir?" Gong Cheng's voice was hoarse and his heart was tense.

"The stars are so beautiful." Tao Zhi said.

Gong Cheng did not look up, but stared at Tao Zhi, whose half body was soaked in sea water, trying to find the usual playful smile in his eyes.

Gong Cheng felt an inexplicable pain in his heart, and his panic intensified. Although he was holding his husband's hand, he felt that he would leave him.

"I'll watch the stars with you, sir."

After Gong Cheng finished speaking, he lay down beside Tao Zhi, holding Tao Zhi's hand even tighter, not wanting to let go. He never looked up at the sky, but only sideways at Tao Zhi beside him.

Tao Zhi's hands had lost their temperature, but gradually warmed up in Gong Cheng's warm palms. Tao Zhi said nothing, and Gong Cheng also said nothing.

The two let the sea water submerge them wave after wave.

Tao Zhi spoke.

"Gong Cheng, are you happy now?" Tao Zhi's voice was a little hoarse.

"As long as I am with my husband, I am happy all the time." Gong Cheng replied.

"You will be happier in the future."

“You will get everything you want, stand on a high ground that is out of reach for others, and easily get things that others cannot pursue in their entire lives.”

"You will become a dazzling presence in everyone's eyes and receive everyone's blessings and applause," said Tao Zhi.

"Including you, sir?" Gong Cheng asked.

"I will also bless and cheer for you." Tao Zhi said.

"What I mean is, in the happy future that you described, does it also include you, sir?" Gong Cheng felt pain in his chest, but his expression was suppressed.

Tao Zhi fell silent. After a few breaths, a smile appeared in his eyes. He turned his head to look at Gong Cheng.

"Of course." Tao Zhi replied with a smile.

Liar, Gong Cheng thought to himself.

Gong Cheng felt a sour and astringent feeling in his nose, mist appeared in front of his pupils, and his throat was blocked and painful.

Gong Cheng didn't want Tao Zhi to notice, so he turned his head and looked up at the sky, and saw the vast sea of ​​stars that Tao Zhi had been looking at.

Tao Zhi looked at Gong Cheng beside him and felt an impulse in his heart.

For an actor, getting into the role is basic professional ethics.

At least for now, Tao Zhi wants to let himself immerse himself in the play, as Tao Zhi in this novel, as Gong Cheng's object at this time, and do some actions to immerse himself in the play.

Tao Zhi followed his own heart and propped himself up, touched Gong Cheng's face with his free hand, then leaned in and kissed him.

Gong Cheng was stunned by this sudden and active kiss. He dazedly let Tao Zhi deepen the kiss on him. Then his lips and teeth were pried open and his territory was conquered and plundered.

Gong Cheng could clearly hear Tao Zhi's beating heartbeat on his body, echoing with his own heartbeat.

Tao Zhi's hands gradually warmed up, and Gong Cheng came back to his senses from his daze.

When Tao Zhi was engrossed in the kiss, Gong Cheng turned over and pressed Tao Zhi under him. The moonlight poured into Tao Zhi's sparkling eyes, and Tao Zhi's chest rose and fell with his breathing.

Tao Zhi only took two breaths before Gong Cheng leaned over and pressed his trembling lips against Tao Zhi's softness. Unlike Tao Zhi's almost rough kiss just now, Gong Cheng's kiss was gentle and lingering.

Gong Cheng kissed Tao Zhi lightly on his lips, with endless tenderness and attachment. Tao Zhi looked dazed in this extremely passionate kiss. He slightly opened his lips and the tip of his tongue touched him vaguely.

Tao Zhi grabbed Gong Cheng's hair with his hands and pressed him to deepen the kiss.

Tao Zhi's heart was filled with the peace of mind and tenderness that Gong Cheng gave him, making Tao Zhi addicted and unable to extricate himself.

No matter how dazzling the starry sky was, all Tao Zhi could see at this moment was Gong Cheng who was kissing him passionately in the cold sea water.

The world is becoming more and more blurry, but the people in front of me are becoming clearer and clearer.

Just for this moment, let yourself indulge in this beautiful dream.