Zhang Yi felt his mind went blank, as if he had lost control of his body. He didn't know how he walked back home step by step.
When he slowly opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the edge of the bed where Deng Shentong had been imprisoned for countless days and nights.
The silver-haired man lay quietly in the quilt with his eyes closed. His beautiful face looked as peaceful as a sleeping angel.
Zhang Yi stretched out his shaking hand and gently touched Deng Shentong's cheek, feeling the familiar yet strange touch. He hoped that everything in front of him was just a nightmare, and as long as he woke up, he would see Deng Shentong standing in front of him alive.
However, the coldness from his palm told him that all this was real. Deng Shentong's face was lifeless and heartbreakingly cold.
Zhang Yi closed his eyes in pain, tears streaming down his cheeks.
He began to regret. If it weren't for what he had done, Deng Shentong might not have died.
He would rather Deng Shentong hated him and tortured him forever, at least that would prove that Deng Shentong was still alive. They could continue to be entangled with each other, even for a lifetime, which was better than being separated by the Yin and Yang now.
Zhang Yi sat on the edge of the bed, staring at Deng Shentong's face. The memories of beauty and pain flooded into his mind, making him feel like his heart was being cut by a knife.
From now on, there will no longer be Deng Shentong in this world, and he will spend the rest of his life carrying this guilt and regret alone.
Zhang Yi stood up slowly. He felt that he could not stay in this room any longer. His instinct told him that he should do something.
The lights outside were dazzling and hot, but Zhang Yi could not feel a trace of warmth. He walked aimlessly, with a myriad of thoughts in his mind.
Every moment he spent with Deng Shentong kept emerging in his mind, whether it was laughter or quarrels, but now they had become distant memories.
When he walked past the bar in the living room, Zhang Yi's steps suddenly became heavy, as if he was dragged by an invisible force. He stopped and looked ahead in confusion.
Then he slowly opened the refrigerator door, took out a bottle of wine, sat in the quiet corner, and silently began to pour it into his throat.
One cup after another, the wine flowed down his throat, bringing a burning and stinging sensation. As time passed, Zhang Yi's consciousness gradually blurred, and his vision also began to become hazy.
Half drunk and half awake, he vaguely saw Deng Shentong's figure, smiling and walking towards him. The familiar smile made him excited, and he subconsciously stretched out his hands, trying to catch the illusory shadow in front of him.
However, when his fingers touched the air, he suddenly realized that it was just an illusion. He smiled bitterly, put his hand down helplessly, and continued to bring the glass to his mouth, hoping to numb himself with alcohol and forget the endless pain.
It was a silent night in the end times, and the snow was still falling outside the window.
And the good times he once spent with Deng Shentong shattered before his eyes like a bubble, leaving only deep longing and unrelieved pain.
"If, I mean if, Captain, if there is no such life, would you feel more relaxed?"
Zhang Yi fell into regret again. He didn't know when this emotion seemed to have become a part of his life.
He always regretted everything he had done, questioning why every choice he made was wrong and why fate always so unfairly gave him such a cruel ending.
He was too greedy. He wanted Deng Shentong to look up to him and let Deng Shentong feel the same unforgettable pain as he had in his previous life.
They should have been like two parallel lines, never having the possibility of intersecting.
The gears of fate have already been turning seamlessly. Everyone is arranged on a specific track, moving forward step by step without deviation.
However, Zhang Yi just refused to believe it.
He couldn't let go of the obsession in his heart, and in the end, he would rather exchange it for a chance to turn back time.
The fleeting glimpse at the Password Bar may have been just a moment for Deng Shentong, but for Zhang Yi, it has changed a lot.
He thought he just didn't want to owe anyone a favor.
In the endless loneliness and unwillingness, paranoia and love spread in the heart like weeds.
When Zhang Yi realized this, he found that the look in his eyes when he looked at Deng Shentong was no longer pure.
He is not a person who can hide his desires very well. He, Zhang Yi, is a vulgar person, and vulgar people have desires, and when they have desires, they want to obtain and conquer.
At some point, his desire to repay had turned into a demand.
Zhang Yi is arrogant in his heart.
Deng Shentong's present life was given by him, so it is natural that he would treat people as his own property.
No matter how carefully he treats her, he will never let her escape from his control, just like he is manipulating a beautiful puppet that cannot resist.
However, he forgot that Deng Shentong was arrogant by nature and would never be willing to stay in the corner drawn by Zhang Yi to deceive himself.
A cage of gold, silver, pearls and jade cannot trap a soaring eagle, and Deng Shentong is not an ordinary person.
When he felt that things were gradually getting out of his control, the resentment began to burn wildly in his heart like wildfire.
Zhang Yi is jealous and also feels inferior.
Deng Shentong is dazzling by nature. People who are not from the same world as him are born to attract everyone's attention.
He sometimes thought that it would be great if he was still Ipsilon, so that he could see the servile look of Deng Shentong in his past life again and possess him rightfully.
He personally sent the person to the altar, but he also wanted to trap the statue in a dilapidated temple, allowing only himself to worship it.
The wine bottle rolled to the ground with a crisp sound, but Zhang Yi's chaotic thoughts did not become clearer, but became more confused.
Maybe he just wanted to get drunk and didn't want to wake up.
He drew a circle in the dark corner, as if this could encircle the ray of sunlight coming through the window.
But how could he contain the sunlight?
He simply swallowed the sun, letting the light sink with him into hell.
Ultimately, it was because he was too greedy, but what's wrong with being greedy?
Zhang Yi fumbled for another bottle of wine with trembling hands. He unscrewed the bottle cap without hesitation and poured the whole bottle of wine directly into his mouth, as if he had grabbed a life-saving straw.
Because he drank too quickly, he choked and started coughing, holding his throat. The sound was like an old bellows, hoarse and harsh, as if he was going to cough out his heart and lungs.
His eyes were red, and he was about to argue that he just wanted Deng Shentong's love, but suddenly he remembered that when he forced Deng Shentong to drink the medicine, was he in pain?
Zhang Yi seemed to be split apart. Two voices were speaking in his ears and a fierce quarrel broke out, as if thousands of troops were trampling through his mind.
Unfortunately, when he asked this question again, no one could respond.
Only the long lonely night seems to mock you mercilessly, leaving you with the words "you deserve it".
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