Genshin Impact: I was sent away by Yaksha at the beginning

"A Yaksha is a brave and warlike person all his life. To put it bluntly, he can only do such killing things." Xiao said slowly without waiting for Ling Mengxue to speak.

"Pain is the price, the retribution for lifetimes of killing. I have realized this long ago. My spear tassel has slaughtered countless resentful souls. Even I myself was inevitably swallowed by the darkness. I used to think that you were really an incomprehensible creature. I was very conflicted. I wanted to be closer to you, but I was afraid that if I got closer to you, I would end up hurting you." Xiao's tone sounded calm, but Ling Mengxue keenly noticed his slightly trembling hands.

It seemed that Xiao had made a great decision to tell her all this. Now she just had to listen to him quietly.

"The will of Yaksha is never accompanied by sympathy and tears. The karma in the past was my own choice and my own retribution. I shouldn't have involved you, but I..." Xiao paused and looked at Ling Mengxue seriously.

"Disasters may have no end, but the mortal world has feelings. Even Shura has concerns. Now I finally understand the meaning of this sentence..."

"How much do you know about my Yasha clan, Bai Xue? Although I am happy that you said you wanted to marry me, there are some things I don't want to hide from you. If you know my past and can still accept being with me, then I will never leave you again in this life."

"I... I don't know much. I only glanced at a book called Records of Hair-Protecting Immortal Yakshas... I know what karma is, and I also know that you and the other four immortal yakshas once swore an oath to the Rock King, promising to kill for the sake of hair protection and eliminate many sufferings. This has been going on for years..."

"However, in the long bloody battle, you were bound by karma and polluted by the hatred of the demons. You may have gone mad due to fear, or killed each other, or lost your temper... Three of the five most powerful immortals and Yakshas have died, and one is missing... After thousands of years of disasters, only one demon-conquering saint is still alive in the world... That is you."

Ling Mengxue felt a dull pain in her heart when she said this. She first learned about these things a long time after she had known Xiao. At that time, in order to get to know the person she loved better, she searched everywhere for information and books about the Yaksha clan. Unexpectedly, she learned about Xiao's cruel past from the books.

Xiao, you are always fighting. I am afraid that even when you put down your spear, your heart is still burning fiercely. You can find an excuse to seek a pure land for your soul, but seriously you do not allow yourself to do so.

Just a while ago, you were still affected by the remnants of the demon god. Under your seemingly youthful appearance, you must have been riddled with holes... As the only surviving Yaksha, what you bear is too terrible. I'm afraid that other Yaksha colleagues cannot bear it, but you still fight stubbornly and refuse to relax at all.

"I didn't expect that there is such a book about my Yaksha clan in the world." Xiao's voice was still flat, but Ling Mengxue knew that he was actually trying to restrain himself.

"What I want to tell you today is not these things, but something from earlier times. At that time, my Yaksha clan was not what it is today..."

"Could it be something that happened before I met the Emperor?" Ling Mengxue quickly reacted when she heard Xiao say that. The Yaksha Records tells the story of the immortal Yakshas, ​​and these are things that happened after they met the Emperor. So what Xiao wanted to tell me must have happened a long time ago, most likely during the Demon God War or even before that...

"I... did a lot of wrong things when I was young... Although I showed my fighting talent in my Yasha clan, I was discovered by the Dream Demon. She seized my weakness and I was forced to become her Great Demon. During this period, I followed her instructions and did a lot of cruel and bloody things."

Xiao didn't dare to look into Ling Mengxue's eyes again. He turned his head slightly. Yes, controlled by the Dream Demon, he had committed many murderous deeds and crushed many people's dreams with his own hands. He was even forced by the Dream Demon to swallow the dreams of those losers. He was not born with a cruel character, so when he did these things that went against his own will, he was in great pain but had no choice.

"Perhaps it's because I've served this cruel demon god for too long. I feel like I'm becoming less and less like myself... I began to enjoy the pleasure of killing, and gradually took it for granted that I could swallow the dreams of all kinds of losers. I even feel that even though I've been out of the demon god's control for so long, I still crave the dreams of losers... I'm really scared... You always say that I'm a gentle person, but only I know that. Maybe I used to be gentle and innocent, but now I'm afraid there's only killing skills and karma from past lives left in my heart..."

"Their voices... often appear in my ears. Roaring, wailing... screaming for killing... But it doesn't matter now. The evil resentment, the omen of disaster, and your call. Being able to hear these is enough for me." Xiao noticed Ling Mengxue's worry, gently raised his hand, and rubbed her head.

"I passed by the shore of Guyun Pavilion a few days ago and found several star snails along the way, so I picked up a few." Xiao said gently, while taking out a few well-preserved star snails from his arms. At first glance, they had been carefully wiped. Without waiting for Ling Mengxue to ask, he continued.

"I've heard that this thing called the Star Snail has a mysterious secret and can transmit words, but when I tried to put it close to my ear, I didn't hear any voice, only the hollow sound of wind. If it were you, could you hear some words from this Star Snail? When you have time, tell me about it in detail."

"Let me listen to it now." Ling Mengxue took the star conch handed to her by Xiao with a smile, carefully placed it to her ear, and slowly closed her eyes.

Xiao did not make any noise to disturb them, but just stood quietly by and watched with a smile.

After a long while, Ling Mengxue opened her eyes and looked at Xiao: "That rumor is not wrong... I really heard the sound."

"What is it..." Xiao couldn't help but feel curious.

"I heard the sound of longing from this star snail. It was very clear and urgent."

Idiot, this is the star snail you gave me, what else can I hear except you!

Ling Mengxue could imagine her lover running a long way to Guyun Pavilion to pick up the star snail, and she didn't know where he heard that he could hear the sound he wanted to hear inside. In the end, he heard nothing except the sound of the wind... He must have listened alone for a long time...

"The sound of longing...?" The clever Xiao quickly understood what his lover wanted to express. After knowing his past sins, he still did not dodge. The look she gave him was still as gentle as before. It seemed that what the Emperor said was right. He should have given her more trust. Now that Bai Xue had obviously accepted his past, he should also face all the difficulties in the future with her calmly.

I don't ask for anything else, I just want to spend some time with her.