The book-crossing case happened! The villains all want me to go to jail

The sunshine in March brought the warmth of early spring, but this warmth could not penetrate the heavy haze in Xie Xuan'an's heart. Xie Xuan'an stood woodenly at the university gate, looking at his brother Xie Ran who came to see him off, with empty eyes and mixed feelings in his heart. "Xiao Ran, go back and take good care of yourself." Xie Xuan'an tried to squeeze out a smile that was uglier than crying, stretched out his slightly trembling hand, and gently rubbed Xie Ran's hair.

Xie Ran's eyes were red and tears were welling up in them. He hugged Xie Xuan'an tightly and cried, "Brother, I will miss you." Xie Xuan'an's hands unconsciously hugged his brother tightly, but his body was shaking slightly.

He patted Xie Ran's back gently, then slowly let go of her hand, turned around, dragged the suitcase, and walked into the campus with heavy and dragging steps. Every step he took seemed to use up all his strength, and the sound of the suitcase's wheels sounded like a countdown to fate to him.

After bidding farewell to his brother, Xie Xuan felt that the whole world had become dark and gloomy. He knew clearly that he had to face the disease that was becoming more and more rampant like a demon.

During the winter vacation, he saw his brother walking happily in front of him several times. His brother's energetic body made him want to stab him for a moment.

As soon as this thought came to his mind, he was so frightened that he broke out in a cold sweat. He used his remaining rationality to restrain himself from turning this terrifying impulse into action. And his younger brother Xie Ran was completely unaware of all this.

He did not go to the dormitory to put his luggage, but ran directly to the place where he had agreed to meet with psychologist Wen Jing, as if he had grabbed a life-saving straw. Sitting in Wen Jing's simple but soothing treatment room, Xie Xuan'an's face was as pale as paper, and his eyes were empty as if he had lost his soul.

"Let's start, Doctor Wen." Xie Xuan'an's voice was low and hoarse, with deep despair and helplessness. Wen Jing looked very young, but his eyes were full of concern and professional calmness.

He began a series of meticulous psychological tests. During the test, Xie Xuan'an's hands were shaking slightly uncontrollably, and beads of sweat kept rolling down his forehead, soaking his collar. An hour later, the test results came out.

Wen Jing looked at the heavy report in his hand, his brows furrowed as if he could pinch a fly to death, and his face became more and more solemn, like a dark cloud.

"Xuan, the situation is much worse than I expected. Your emotional apathy has become extremely serious, and you even have mild signs of split personality. Your severe schizophrenia continues to worsen, and your bipolar disorder is becoming increasingly difficult to control, and..."

Wen Jing paused, pursed his lips, as if he couldn't bear to continue. Xie Xuan sat there quietly, with no expression on his face, like a puppet that had lost its emotional perception.

"Xuan'an, did you have any extreme and dangerous thoughts during the winter vacation?" Wen Jing stared at Xie Xuan'an's eyes, trying to find even a glimmer of hope in those bottomless eyes.

Xie Xuan was silent for a long time, so long that Wen Jing thought time had stopped flowing. Finally, he spoke slowly like a deflated ball.

The voice seemed to come from a distant hell: "Yes, those thoughts even make me feel creepy. Sometimes, I can't help but imagine some extremely bloody scenes. When I see my brother, I can't help but want to pick up a knife and stab him. Now looking at you, I want to try it too..."

Wen Jing was shocked when he heard this, but he remained calm. His brows furrowed even tighter, and his raised eyebrows seemed to be engraved with deep worry: "Why is this happening? You have been actively receiving treatment according to the course of treatment, so how could your condition deteriorate to this extent?"

Xie Xuanan raised his head and looked at the seemingly beautiful world outside the window, but his eyes seemed to pass through all tangible substances and fell straight into the endless abyss of darkness: "I don't know, Doctor Wen. Maybe the darkness deep in my heart is too strong, so strong that no treatment can dispel it."

The treatment room fell into deathly silence. Only the heavy and disordered breathing of Xie Xuan'an could be heard, like the drumbeat of despair, beating people's hearts again and again.

Wen Jing took a deep breath and tried to calm his inner shock and worry. He knew that he had to remain absolutely calm and professional at this moment to help the man who was struggling in the darkness.

He told himself that he must find the root cause of Xie Xuan'an's worsening condition so that he could develop a more targeted and effective treatment plan for him.

"Xuan, let's review your experiences during the winter vacation and see if there are any special events or details that triggered the sharp deterioration of your condition."

Wen Jing's tone was gentle but firm, full of reassuring strength. Xie Xuan'an closed his eyes, the muscles on his face twitching slightly in pain, and tried hard to recall every detail of the winter vacation.

"During the winter vacation, everything seemed normal. I spent the New Year with my brother, visiting relatives and friends, and exchanging greetings.

But my heart is always shrouded in an unspeakable depression.

Especially when I saw my brother jumping around in front of me, I actually had such a terrible thought. Since then, I have felt more like a monster out of control. My brother was completely unaware of all this. He was still close to me and dependent on me as always, but I..."

"In the process of getting along with your family, have you ever had even the slightest conflict? Or have you encountered anything that made you feel particularly stressed and unbearable?" Wen Jing's eyes were focused, not missing any subtle changes in Xie Xuan'an's expression.

Xie Xuanan shook his head slowly, his messy hair covering his eyes: "There is no obvious conflict, but I just feel that I am out of tune with the world around me. Seeing others full of laughter and warmth, I feel like I am in an ice cellar, without feeling a trace of happiness and warmth.

My brother and I are the only ones left in our family, and I’m really afraid that I’ll hurt him.”

Wen Jing crossed his hands and rested them on his chin. After thinking for a moment, he asked, "What about when you are alone? For example, when you lie in bed alone at night, will you be overwhelmed with thoughts and unable to fall asleep?"

Xie Xuan'an's body trembled slightly, and his hands tightly grasped the armrests of the chair, his joints turning white due to the force: "Yes, I often suffer from insomnia all night long. My mind is like a mess, with all kinds of chaotic, terrifying, and desperate thoughts intertwined, making it difficult for me to breathe."

"Can you tell me more about those ideas? Even just some fragments." Wen Jing's voice was gentle and encouraging.

Xie Xuan was silent for a while, as if he was having a fierce struggle deep in his heart, and then he slowly spoke: "Even if it's something illegal, I still think about my future, which is dark, without any hope or way out. I feel like I am a worthless burden and have brought too much pain and trouble to my family.

I even thought that if I disappeared from this world, it might be a relief for everyone.”

As he spoke, he clenched his hands into fists, his nails digging deeply into his palms.

Wen Jing patted his shoulder gently, his eyes full of understanding and sympathy: "Xuan, this is not your fault. You are just sick, and we will definitely be able to find a way to overcome it. But we must find the deep reasons that lead you to have these thoughts."

Xie Xuan raised his head, his eyes full of helplessness and confusion, like a child lost in a dark forest: "Doctor Wen, I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm about to be completely swallowed up by these thoughts."

Wen Jing looked at him with a firm and persistent look in his eyes: "Don't give up, Xuan'an. We will work together and we will definitely find a way out, and we will definitely help you regain the light and peace in your heart." In the following time, Wen Jing and Xie Xuan'an discussed in depth his growth experience, family environment, interpersonal relationships and other aspects. Every question hit the nail on the head, and every analysis was incisive.

However, it seems that more time and deeper exploration are needed to find the core cause that actually causes the disease to worsen.

Late at night, Xie Xuan'an lay in bed as calmly as usual.

I am a person who traveled through time, and the person I traveled through is the protagonist in my book.

The protagonist is indeed not a good person, but he himself is a good person.

Why are there so many inexplicable mental illnesses, and why do they seem to be getting worse and worse...?

At the beginning of the story, the protagonist is a junior, but I am just a sophomore now... What will happen next... He dare not imagine.